Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Well, painting is mostly done. My son is going to finish up his room, and then we'll get the furniture back in. Phew.

Mulberry, yes - I think chats are more common. I like the slow pace of a message board, too.

NS, my husband going out of town was a ticket to the races - take out food, lots to drink, bad TV. I don't know why I waited for him to go - he would have probably joined me, but I loved being alone. Of course, I had the same bargaining you're talking about. Thank goodness for our FREEDOM!

Happy SOBER Friday, Nest. Hope everyone is ok.

Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

No rain today, yay!! I’m sure it will be back soon enough. Since the ground was so soft I took advantage & planted lots of flower seeds. We’ll see what happen

Mulburry, hello to you & I also agree about the slower pace here & that’s perfectly OK with me.

NS, sounds like you’re in for a whole lot of fun, haha!! Have their favorite foods & snacks ready & just enjoy.

Pav, good job on the painting, I love a freshly painted room. I thought of you today while I was outside planting, my knees were screaming at me, dumb arthritis Sometimes we just need to grin & bear our way thru things.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I guess new people can’t find MWO because it no longer pops up regularly if they do a search for a site like this. So now we’re stagnating here. I do wish [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] and [MENTION=249]overit[/MENTION] would check in, like they said they were going to. [MENTION=7263]frances[/MENTION], it’s so good to have you back!! Congratulations on getting over a month in on your quit!

It’s amazing how tech-savvy the youngest teens are now, Lav! They quickly surpass us in abilities. I’m so blessed to get to see the grand-babies grow and change each week! I’m also glad I’m not doing childcare full time, and can go home after a couple days of the intensity. Mabel is such a joy. Beckett is very difficult and wears on my nerves quickly, but I try.

I’m glad your son is finishing up painting his own room, Pav. So sorry about your arthritis, Lav -in both your hands and knees! What a pain. I have some arthritis weakening my dominant hand, and making one finger crooked. The beginning of gnarled hands, I guess.

I wish I would have tried to keep my difficult marriage together. Ex HB just seems sad and broken, and is drinking a glass of wine or having a beer most every day now. Good for you, Lav, for managing to keep yours together.
I went out to my condo that is being built, and I still feel good & peaceful there. I think I can feel at home there. It is supposed to be finished in mid-May.

I hope it’s a fun weekend for you with the little boys, NS!

[MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION], I love it that you take full advantage of getting to live near a beautiful ocean, and get yourself into it regularly!

Hello to everyone, and I hope we all have peaceful, enjoyable weekends.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

enjoying a few spring days on the weekend and it is lovely. i love waking up to the sun shining. i hope we dont have an Adams Family winter and get some sunshine.

Hey Frances, how are you going? Still here and still being accountable, its not that i dont trust myself to not log onto MWO but they are like family (but nicer)! HOpe to see more of you x

G, msgd the other day and he uprgraded his computer or something (wish i could remember lol) and now cant log onto MWO, he is happily sober and has msgd MWO to see if he can sort out the problem.

Pav, i enjoy painting but since i have done my knee in, i just cant but hoping i can get back into it soon. its so hard to get down on the ground and back up!

Slo, hubs wont ever change, no amount of effort on your part would have changed his behaviour. I am so glad your condo will be finished in May and you can start your new life. negative people in your life are not needed, as you know everything he does is his choice and there is nothing you can do or could have done to change it. like us drinking, that was our choice and it was only our choice to change.

I am now organised to go interstate to see Jasper so in a month i will take mum and my daughter on a road trip to see them.

i have finally gotten into the garage to start cleaning it, i figured i would do a bit at a time and that seems to be working. took carl and bob for a 40 minute walk yesterday evening and my knee seemed to no mind too much. Will do the extra time every second day for now and see how i go.

NS, for some reason i always thought it was 'PARTY time" when the kids left the house, music on, lots of wine and me drunk then passed out. now kids gone and i just potter around without a thought of a drink except for a cup of tea. life is just nice now.

Take care xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

It's always great to visit the nest and find like minded people.

It's been a rough week here. Got into a major argument with my boss about how he was supposed to do something and left us hanging. And at the same time he is demanding a crazy amount of work to be done by us underlings so he can go on a couple of vacations. He also told me he wanted me back in the office. I am more productive at home and told him that. He didn't care...he said things like I am probably doing laundry and walking the dog on "his time". What a load of BS. I have never been dishonest. I showed him my time card with gaps where I usually rest on long days because of my fibromyalgia. The dumbass said I could work in the office, go home to rest and come back. omg. the stupidity is ridiculous.

So I agreed to work in the office but on my terms. 3 days/week no more than 20 hours/week. What gets done, gets done. If it doesn't...too bad.

It is funny that I didn't get what I wanted, but got what I needed. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me and now I can relax at home and do other things without being surrounded by work. I took all my "work stuff" back to the office. This is the first weekend that I did not work in about 2 years (except for my short vacation in March). Today I took a walk with a friend to see the "bluebells" (photo below). She has been through the ringer the last ten years with severe depression, which she has overcome, and a husband that has been verbally abusive and they just got divorced. I haven't seen her in so long and we had more fun catching up than looking at the bluebells. Then I went for an overdue haircut. I am now looking forward to my newfound freedom, even if it means boss man will be unhappy that work won't be getting done. His choice. Too bad, so sad.

Venting here helps keep my sober, as if I vent to hb he finds a way to put me down. But next time he does that I will ask him if putting me down is how he builds himself up.

Love reading here about how many of you turned your lives around. It's a struggle right now (the life thing) but waking up non-hungover is a gift.

IMG_2025.jpg

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well the rain returned just as I figured it would haha! We’ve had more than a month’s worth in just this week, geez.
The rain stopped so I got out for a walk with the dog, my faithful companion.

Slo, you will be amazed at how FAST these kids grow these days. Blows my mind every time one of them pulls off a tech feat that I could never do, Lol
Keep looking forward to your future, you can’t change the past or anyone that was a part of it of course. The new condo sounds like your ticket to freedom & happiness.
Arthritis hit all of my elders, one way or the other so I’m not surprised I’m dealing with it too. My poor Mom ended up with rheumatoid arthritis which was awful. I’ve tested negative for that thank goodness.

Ava, a 40 minute walk is great, good for you!
Glad yo heard from G & hope he gets his computer issue straightened out soon. I’ll bet you enjoy your trip next month, sounds good.

Belle, good to hear your news. There’s no point in working yourself to death & not being appreciated. Glad you caught up with your friend too

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle - that sounds like a hard situation with your boss. I'm glad you got what you needed even if not what you wanted. Hopefully it'll turn into nothing but a big win for you.

NS - so glad that you and all of us are not still in the "drinking binge while so-and-so is out of town" mode. That was definitely my game too and there was nothing healthy about it. Hope you enjoy your upcoming time.

Lav - that is a LOT of rain! And that's so cool your g'son made and launched his own website.

Pav - I hear you on the arthritis. So far I've avoided it in my hands but am really starting to feel it in my spine. Good job on the painting!


Things are good here. I've been busy with work and will probably stay that way through the end of the month. I'm trying to put in a lot of hours now so that I can carry a lighter workload during June-July and maybe August. Those are the nicest weather months here and I want to do a lot of hiking and biking. Hopefully some camping too if we can figure out a way to head out of town. My father has noticeably aged since he turned 91 last year. He's still pretty independent (lives in our basement) but I can tell he's forgetting things more often, and he just seems tired a lot of the time. His sister was the aunt of mine who died of covid back in Feb, and I think that's taking its toll on him too.

So grateful I don't drink. I will say sometimes I miss the "escape" it offered, but since that escape was mostly a lie there's not really much to miss.


Happy rest of the weekend to all of you!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sunday evening greetings Nesters,

Well the sun just now decided to make an appearance. Just in time for sunset actually LOL
This chilly & damp weather has been making everything ache, ugh. Skipping my walk to give my feet & knees a rest.

Wags, so true we are missing nothing! When I think about that now I’m just amazed that I ever really thought I was ‘escaping’. Guess it was wishful thinking on my part….hard to say now.
I like the idea of you having more free time during the nicer months. Getting out & about is good for you & your soul I hope it works out for you!

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Sunday evening,

The bluebells are pretty, Belle! Nice that you had friend time, and could support her post-divorce and post-depression -and with lots of laughs!
You used good boundaries with your boss. Hope it works best for you too.

Ava, I liked to crank music when I drank too. Somehow they go together.

Wags, so that’s why you’re working so much lately! Sounds like a good plan so you can enjoy the Summer weather.

I got together with my brother and his teenage sons a little bit today; did some shopping with them mid-day. My brother was so very drunk. The smell of alcohol was oozing out of his pores, and sweat too. He was bleary-eyed, talking slowly, not tracking well, forgetting things…his face is so puffy, and riddled with red broken vessels, and now his belly is big too. One of the boys got his temporary driving privileges at least, where he can drive with a parent in the vehicle; so thankfully he does the driving now. I was disappointed, as I was hoping my brother had periods of not drinking. But it looks like he might be drunk all day every day by this point.

The gray, cold days have gotten really depressing. But today the sun finally came out!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Slo, that story is just so sad to me. Your description was dead on, and I feel for those teenaged boys who have to live with their father like that. I'm glad you could be there with / for them. You sure have a lot on your plate. I hope you're taking some time for yourself.

Belle, that boss sounds so stupid and inflexible. I hope he gets what he needs with you on site, and I think the detachment for you between home and work sounds good for you. That photo is great, and I'm glad your friend is pulling out of her depression.

Lav, send some of the rain this way!!

Wags, I think you know my mom lives with us, too. She is 83 and is forgetting and repeating a lot. However, having lived with my dad who had alzheimer's, I think my mom's isn't as bad. I just spent a weekend with her, and I try very hard to be patient, but she tells the same few stories OVER AND OVER AND OVER. By the 20th hearing it is hard not to be curt and short. I am trying to be a better person... The flexibility to have a lighter summer sounds perfect. If you have arthritis in your back, how is camping? Any tips for older lady camping and sleeping pads?

I'm off to work - we have a lot going this spring, so I'll be busy.

Happy SOBER Monday,
Pav

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to report we had a full on sunny day today . Warmer days are coming soon, so they say.
The kids aroun`d here hav`e one more day of school then they begin their spring break. My grandson was grinning ear to ear when I picked him up this afternoon, haha!

Slo, I’m sorry to hear about your brother, that’s sad. Maybe the boys shouldn’t be driving with him any more unless the older one is willing to take the wheel. That would scare me half to death. I hope your brother seeks some help before it’s too late for him. I still crank up the music whenever & wherever I can, haha.

Pav, all the rain has made everything very lush here. Of course that means someone has to cut the grass & it’s not me, Lol
I really wish we could send you half of what we get because I know you could` use it for sure. Working in hospitals for nearly 30 years & dealing with the elderly & otherwise confused people I learned to tune out the repeated story telling. It’s a survival skill, honestly. Sometimes you can just redirect them when they start repeating themselves to save` your sanity

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav - camping with arthritis in the back is challenging for sure. In fact, it's the biggest limiting factor for me right now. We are looking into a high-end thicker sleeping pad (like a 4-6" air mattress or similar). My wife loves hammock camping so I'm going to try that too. I'll keep you posted as I gather data My dad hasn't quite gotten to the point you described with your mom repeating stories, but he does do a bit of that. I send you great empathy and sympathy as you navigate this time with your mom.

Slo - that's very sad about your brother. I'm so sorry. The driving is terrifying and I hope his son is able to assert himself enough to deny dad the keys.

Lav - I think your crazy weather came west. 4 days ago it was sunny and mid 70s (about 24 degrees C), then this morning we woke up to several inches of SNOW. In the Pacific NW in April! This was the first measurable snow in April in my city since they started keeping records back in the 1940s. Because trees already had spring leaves on them, this snow took a lot of branches and whole trees down all over the city. We lost half of one in our backyard, which made my wife super sad because she planted and nurtured that tree over the past 20+ years.


Hellos and waves everyone. Happy new weeks!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Belle, your boss is a dick, luckily mine keep telling me they know i work well at home but still want me back two days a week. i told them to give me a desk and i will. they have offered a shared desk and a filing cabinet drawer. mmm NO. thats great that you saw your friend, they are pretty special when we get older. i do like working at home as i do get washing done etc but i also think that if i was at work i would spend more time socialising than doing some chores.

slo, that is so sad about your brother, my brother was drinking glasses of wine from the time he opened his eyes until he passed out. he also became abusive towards those who loved him. it was very sad. i found his funeral phamphlet on the weekend and its been nearly 15 years since al took him. I do feel for his sons, my kids have some issues with my binge drinking when they were young and it sucks, i just want to take back the past but i cant. As Pav said, you do have a lot on, so take care of yourself.

Wags, i so could not camp now, gone are my bouncing out of bed days on a blow up mattress. it is beautiful though being in nature. my kids have wonderful memories of our camping trips in the boat to an island. it was a great holiday with 4 kids and all we could afford and they tell me now it beat any holiday elsewhere.

Pav, my mother is as deaf as a post and i am not looking forward to an 11 hour drive with her. you ask her something and she gives a completely different answer and you have to talk loudly and its just draining and i become very short. i am looking forward to seeing the family, my SIL says she has never seen me so much since Jasper was born, i tell her she should be grateful ha ha.

Lav, i would like some of your rain, its so dry here, i went for a walk with the dogs to a man made lake and its near empty.

Looking forward to EAster and a break, have to go into work tomorrow and then off from the Thursday to the Tuesday. i would go and visit mum but the traffic is always atrocious. see how i feel. One daughter is going to meet Jasper for the first time which will be lovely and i am taking my other daughter when i go in May. It is nice to have the freedom again to do what we want but you just never know these days what can happen tomorrow. Just grateful to wake up sober, i know thats a given!

take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had a nice sunny day today - perfect for visiting cemeteries & leaving Easter flowers
I’m sitting on the deck now listening to bees buzzing away, I guess Spring has arrived, finally!

Wags, i read about the weather in your area, opps. Guess I sent too much your way, haha!
My dad was living with us back in the 90’s when his carotid arteries were becoming obstructed. He couldn’t have surgery to clear them because he had heart problems & other issues. He went downhill so fast, losing skills & abilities to care for himself. I was working full time & couldn’t be home to watch him. It also got to the point where I couldn’t physically handle him myself anymore so I had him admitted to a nearby nusring home. It turned out to be a smart move because he was gone within 2 weeks. Not everyone gets that bad but when they do you have to consider their safety.
We used to be big campers, had a few pop-up campers over the years but I grew tired of the hassle. Now we are living in plenty of nature & never go anywhere, Lol. Good luck with your camping plans.

Ava, I mentioned yesterday it would be nice if we could re-distribute some of this rain, I’d love to share.
I guess your mom is not interested in hearing aids? Why are some people so stubborn, it’s a mystery to me I hope you enjoy your Easter break & have a wonderful trip.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone.
Lav

[SHADES_of_IDAHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Pav..and everyoneÂ…been doing my usual lurking and reading how wonderful you all are.
Glad to read your all doing well .
As I haves looked in on all of you now and then for several years. Reading your comments always makes the loss of my son to al feel better and not like a total outsider. Your comments calm my heart and give me pause to be thankful and grateful. Here is where I have always felt at home.
You all have always been so kind to one another for so many many years. Such a joy to follow you all.

Speaking of April showers … In Oregon we had 6” of snow April 11th a record breaker, that practically shut down the whole city as schools closed , roads and highways. It melted very fast…
I lost a few large limbs off my maple and some prized trees and shrubs the snow was so wet and heavy. Very sorry to hear of the loss of the tree your wife planted. It is sad but also it can be a way to plant a new tree and nurture a new plant that brings joy, harmony and happiness .
It has been 2 a half years since the loss of my son , coming here has helped me put that loss in perspective. Thank you all for being so kind, and understanding with one another. Gentle hugs to everyone.