Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un Hung Wednesday everyone!
Hey LIFE:heartbeat: So nice to see you here. You know you can do this, right? They say "one day at a time" for a reason in AA. Don't think too far out into the future, just don't drink TODAY. I have a few stories of the past few times I drank that I have put in my notes on my phone. When I need a reminder on why I can't drink I read the notes. That is super helpful.
I used to beat myself up all the time too and had to make myself stop doing that. I was meaner to myself than anyone would be and that was very detrimental to my self esteem. I would think of myself as a little girl and then think "what would I say to this little girl". That little girl needs you to love her Life because that is you.
Those drinking thoughts, just let them go by like clouds in the sky. Go have something to eat, go for a walk, have ice cream, whatever it takes to distract yourself. xoxo

Pav, I would love to go to Italy and that is exactly what scares me, the wine culture. We are strong enough in our quit now though, we could travel anywhere!

Ava-a tatoo? That is cool. I am glad your teeth are done.
Wags- time to get ready to enjoy summer

NS- what are you cooking in your crock pot? I am interested to know cause you are such a good cook. Lav and Byrdie are great cooks too of course.

Peanut, keep up the good work. I feel smug around hungover people too, haha. We have to take some joy in that.

GMAN xoxo

Have a great sober day everyone!
Don't drink today.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I really took the slacker approach on my crockpot meal, Nar -- pulled chicken breasts and Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce. Definitely NOT a 'no sugar' recipe but I wanted it to be EASY and DELICIOUS, which it was.

I love what you said to LC. It is how we all should treat ourselves in general. Putting yourself absolutely first for a few months might seem selfish but it is the best thing to do for yourself and everyone who counts on and loves you. Later, it is much easier to be of service to others while maintaining the boundaries you need.

Slo, I hope your closing goes well today. You're really moving forward now on building the life you want and deserve :hug:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

The day was nice but it’s clouding up for more evening rain. Looking forward to tomorrow, our granddaughter’s end of elementary school ceremony. She’s thrilled to be heading to middle school next year, haha! We are going out for lunch afterwards, yum. This is one of those times I think I’m so grateful to be AF & enjoying life as I should

LC, hope your busy day was good.

Narilly, why shouldn’t we feel a little smug, haha. We earned to the right I think!

NS, I bet everyone enjoyed your pulled chicken in BBQ sauce. Sounds good to me. Who wants to be tied to the kitchen while on vacation anyway??

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

thanks for that, Nar!!!:heartbeat: so good to see you..

i'm half way through my cup of coffee and beginning to wake up.. i feel like a zombie this week but i know it will pass. i only have a minute before i have to go to work, but i wanted to write out my plan for the day.. after work i'm going to see how i'm feeling.. if i feel good, i'll go shopping for dinner ingredients, if not, i'll come home first.. i want to go to the gym this afternoon, but will take a nap first, if necessary! healthy dinner and a couple of phone calls are all that i have to do tonight.. i hope i'll have enough energy to post here again, but no matter what, i'll definitely check in and read..
i hope you all have a lovely day.. xx
Lav, have fun at your granddaughters celebration! that's a big change, leaving elementary school!!:love:

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

NS i love my slow cooker in winter, i think i have made too much pea and ham soup already though. did make a nice casserole the other night which my daughter and i enjoyed. I was going to make chicken curry soup with noodles but just cant be bothered. my daughter is saying she is hungry, i am so glad she has two hands and a heartbeat and can make herself something.

Slo, i hope your fam are helping you move, i always said i was not going to collect too much crap the last time i moved and after 15 years, i have a garage full of crap. its too cold to get into the garage but hoping soon as i need to find my winter boots.

LC, i never ever said no to anything but now i prioritise myself. of course i will do what i can for the kids but if i am tired or stressed, i have to think of myself. Make sure you have your nap, i know you are a napper, as i am. i bought a new pillow and it is the best, i am in love with it. Its the small things in life that give the most pleasure.

Lav, i am not much of a meat eater but on occasion i do like a nice bit of lamb. i have low iron but always forget to take those iron tablets.

Tomorrow i am off to give blood, the free food is the best afterwards and we are short of blood atm so anything is a help. We have a long weekend for the "queens birthday". go figure as her birthday is in April but i wont argue on a day off. The PA is having more time off, i have decided that i am just not going to engage with her as i get too angry. thankfully i had an apt with my psychologist this morning so i could download. She is the best.

take care xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I meant WAGS went to Italy, right? A bike trip? Almost all travel with my kids has been in the US, so it is exciting to go someplace new.

LC, self care is IT for the first little bit. Whatever you need, do it. Not drinking is your number one job for now, so that you can be the best mom ever.

Hi, Nar. Hope all is well, Mr. G.

x
Pav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, all!

I did it, I purchased a condo yesterday! Now it’s all mine! I met some super nice neighbors yesterday too, a husband & wife. They informed me on the other near neighbors…everyone else is married or widowed, and I’m the lone divorcee. They seemed sad & disappointed that I was divorced…it is sad, right when we’re heading into sunset years and grandchildren are coming. But, it is what it is, and I think will be best for me out of the two choices: stay or go.

LC, you are making excellent choices! You are balancing your own needs with those of your adult daughters, letting them help with shopping, now that they are adults; keeping good boundaries by not having your boyfriend come over when Thursday is one of your busiest workdays, etc. Great job!

Ava, I know several people who recently have gotten group tattoos in honor of a close deceased loved one. It keeps their memory close.

Young daughter was home from France and her sister’s house for just one day for her sister’s baby shower, then she flew out for a week to stay with her new college best friend & her family in Oregon!

Speaking of, I found out that I/we had two Covid exposures out of that crowd at the baby shower! Fingers crossed.

I hope you enjoy your trip to Italy, Pav! I had a hard time being a non-drinker in Ireland, but I was newly sober then, and ended up abandoning that quit afterwards.
At least I learned that I didn’t want to travel with ex-HB anymore, since he made it clear that traveling with a non-drinker was cramping his style.
But like Nar says: with our long-term quits, we can now travel anywhere! Italy is supposed to be just beautiful, so you can drink in the beauty of the natural surroundings instead.

Onward & upward we go!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning Nest. It's a cool, cloudy morning but supposed to be 90F degrees later today! I went for a long walk with my son and we enjoyed looking at all the yards as the flowers are really happy. It's great to walk with him and hear whatever is on his mind - which is usually about his work lifeguarding, or a variety of strange and random thoughts and questions. His mind moves a million miles an hour.

My daughter is in summer school, which is good for both of us. She needs the people time and I need the quiet! And she needs a little more academic help. Win-win. Hoping to get a workout in later, and maybe a meditation. I've really been enjoying this whole new world that has opened up to me after my reiki studies. There is so much we can't see, but can feel if we allow ourselves to go there. Fascinating.

Slo, congrats! Glad you had friendly neighbors. That makes all the difference! Can't wait to hear how your first time there goes! Do you have some favorite art to put up? Its the most dramatic way to personalize your space right away!

LC, enjoy your day! It sounds like you have a good plan. I agree with PAV that "just no drinking" is the winning ticket! Until I had some good time under my belt, I had to limit my expectations for healthy meals and workouts and other goals... my choices were less than ideal during that time. But it allowed me to focus on that one thing... not drinking. You got this!

LAV, enjoy your continuation ceremony and lunch out today! Sounds fun!

Ava, it must be so hard to be in the company of someone who infuriates you so much. Its one thing to avoid people outside of work, but when forced to see them all the time, it's really hard. I know it sounds silly, but sometimes I imagine an energetic boundary around myself that annoying people can't penetrate, and it seems to work, even when face to face with them. Good luck!

I have to dig out my self-discipline now and do billing. Not sure why I dislike it so much. But I'll get through it. And I get to sit in my PJ's at home and enjoy my own pace. So no complaints.

Have a great day everyone.

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello everyone!
NS, that meal sounds delicious. I am making some Indian food right now for my son and is best friend who is like my second son. I made some Indian Basmati rice, and cheema (curried ground beef with veggies) and cauliflower rice. I think it is very tasty.

Yes, Lav, we have earned the right to be smug. We all have had some major hangovers.

Ken, billing in your pajamas doesn't sound too bad

So cool you are enjoying your grandkids Lav. I hope to have some someday.

Hello GMan.

Take it easy everyone.

Congrats on the Condo Slo- these are the best years of our life- speaking of Life- you are doing well girl. So glad you are sober.

Ava, I am low in iron too and take iron pills. Thank goodness for them.
Pav, wherever you travel to in Europe, I know you will have absoloutely no problem staying sober.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We had a great day watching all the 5th graders saying goodbye to their elementary school. The kids were excited, to say the least!
We enjoyed a nice lunch afterwards & some great decaf iced coffee afterward . It’s true, it’s the small stuff that makes me the happiest.

LC, you’re doing great & that fatigue will leave you soon, hang in there!

Ava, maybe you don’t want to donate blood toooften until you get your serum iron level up. Put those tablets where yo can see them & don’t leave the house until you’ve taken your dose. I do the same with my BP meds so I never forget to take them.

Pav, hello!

Slo, Congrats on your new home ownership, yay!!! It’s a step in the right direction to the peaceful life you deserve.

Kensho, I hope the summer school program is helpful for your daughter. My younger grandson had to go one year to catch up after having a particularly bad year (due to his behavior issue at the time). I really think it was good for him. Hope your billing is done

Narilly, home cooking is nice especially when you can share with a friend. Hope you get the grandkids experience too, it’s lots of fun.

Hello to Wags, G & anyone else checking in. Have a safe night in the nest everyone.

Lav

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola evabody!

Great to see u LC.

Yo Nar! W'dup.

Big waves to all. Busy busy here. Surf's up!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Congratulations, Slo. Are you sure they were disappointed, or were you maybe projecting? I can't imagine why they'd be disappointed...

Lav, those graduations are so cute. Congratulations, sounds like fun.

Yum, Nar. Sounds delicious.

Kensho, that's the key with communicating with teens - facing something else rather than each other. Colorado has sure had some crazy weather this spring (I have family there). Glad you're seeing sunshine and flowers.

I am certain I won't drink in Italy, and I'm not concerned. Already thinking of Gelato, coffee, and pasta. Can't wait.

Off to my son's graduation from college this weekend - I'll probably not check in until Tuesday. Happy SOBER weekends all.

Pavati

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters!
goodness gracious, has it been a hard day.. i've been so exhausted and on edge.. it started yesterday at work and the drinking thoughts entered my mind briefly. i knew i wouldn't as i had all of you in my mind.. i was too tired to post, but i'd like to get in the habit of posting regardless, cause it often happens that with those circumstances i end up drinking without thinking. i'd like to post duriing the times i'm feeling down and frustrated rather than when i'm through it. i will continue to try and do that.. even if i don't feel in danger, just post when i'm feeling like crap. i had words with my youngest today. i realised that up until a month or two ago, she was only been with me half the time, half the time with her dad.. then it didn't bother me as much to do everything because i had a break 2 weeks a month.. also, when i'm drinking i let everything slide. quite unfair to her as she never really knows what to expect. i told her today that i love having her (and her bf) here, but if we're going to be living in a "flat share", they need to do their part. i asked her to think about what she thinks would be fair and what she thinks she can handle and we'll talk again next week.. she's sooo busy with school and sports and i understand she doesn't have all the time in the world, but there are just basic minimum requirements that everyone has to do to take care of themselves and a shared space.
i wanted to exercise today (haven't since Sunday) but i only slept 5 hours last night and have a fever blister which shows me that my body is really run down.. it's hard sometimes to know what will help me more.. exercising or rest. i tend to have a lot of pent up energy and emotions (plus my body feels all squishy and disconnected from my brain) when i go too long without, but this is my first week so i'm trying to just take it easy. i have plans to go tomorrow with my guy so i'll try to be a bit more consistent after that. i'm heading to his in a bit and will buy some fish and veggies and make a nice dinner.. i am now feeling on the up and up.

Slo, congrratulations on getting your new place!! when will you be moving in? do you have friends and family to help? are you feeling a bit excited along with the sadness? i hope you'll post some pictures at some point!
Pav, when are you heading over? how long will you be in Italy? i love it there.. how exciting!

i can't remember what else i wanted to say.. i still can't figure out how to post from my phone but i can read.. each time i try, when i press preview post or send, my message is gone and there's a notice that i need to type at least one character to post???? i've tried several times. anyway, i'll read and then post again tomorrow evening when i'm home.
i'm so glad to be back in the Nest with all of you.. wishing everyone a nice weekend.xxx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, please post anytime - you don't have to "be" a certain way. It is fun to hear you be upbeat and confident but that just isn't real life all the time, especially at the beginning. We want to hear from you, just as you are :hug:

Slo, I think Pav is right. You may be disappointed about being divorced in some ways but to your neighbors, that likely doesn't mean a thing. Would they 'disapprove' if you were widowed? It may be trickier as a single person to find your social group but you are a fun, likable person. You can do it. xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Trying to enjoy the sun while it’s still here. Looks like rain moving in tomorrow & going on for many days, oh well. I need to catch up with weeding outside while I can

G, hope your weekend is good!

Pav, when do you leave on your trip? Congrats to your son on his graduation! Does he have a job lined up? Exciting times for sure.

LC, I hope your weekend is relaxing but fun. Don’t be hard on yourself, dealing with grown kids can be tiring. Pushing for a plan on how to proceed is a good idea to prevent future misunderstandings.

NS, is your long vacation over now?

Slo, I agree with everyone, don’t worry about neighbors just now. You’re still healing from the trauma of the divorce, worry about you :hug:

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!

Lav