Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters!
[MENTION=11645]Hypernova[/MENTION], i'm sorry you're still feeling so under the weather.. i drank when i had covid to try and feel a bit better.. i think i had relief for 30 minutes or so, but then i felt terrible mentally and i'm quite sure the alcohol dragged the sickness out. i hope you'll stick close by.. just cause you drank one day doesn't mean you have to carry on, which you know. thinking of you and sending strength..:hug:

i'm at the end of what was a fairly easy day.. for those i'm super grateful. i cancelled a dinner appointment i had tonight at my ex's.. his brother is over for the first time from Columbia.. i had them over a couple of weeks ago and it stressed me out so i decided not to put myself in a potentially triggering situation. he was fine with my cancellation and the girls went ahead. it's not sooo difficult to say no! and we'll meet up for a coffee next week. i think i'll tell him what's going on as i feel i can use as much support as possible at this point.
tomorrow is a gym day and i'll take my bag to work and go directly after.. i was there on Sunday and felt so much better/less stressed afterwards.
i still have a nasty cold sore which makes me feel like a right old leper.. but i'm trying not to put so much attention on it.. just a sign that my body is still under stress/healing. sure is ugly though!
not much else to report.. hope everyone is doing alright.. will be back in the morning..xx

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

i hope you'll stick close by.. just cause you drank one day doesn't mean you have to carry on, which you know. thinking of you and sending strength..:hug:

Thanks lifechange for the kind words and support. You know you got me thinking and so I looked up some old posts of mine which made me realize how much happier and how much better I feel AF. It is really inspirational to look back at your feelings and remember what’s important for us in life. So I will stick close by and read & hopefully realize how I want to live. Which would be AF. Anyway I hope your cold sore resolves itself quickly and you can get the stress under control b/c I know for sure exercise is the only cure for me in that department. I hope you have a pleasant evening. Thanks, hyper

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Monday everyone.

The Beatles play was fun. The play itself sucked but the music was great!

Hey Hyper- just keep at it. Your persistance will pay off. Its persistance not perfection and one of these days your quit will stick so don't give up.

Life, you have some inspirational quotes, thank you.

Hey GMan! Amazeballs, that made me laugh

Hope everyone is hangin in there. It is a rainy day here in our city and will be raining for the next few days.

xo
Don't drink today.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Boy did we have a hot day - 90 degrees & humid. Sure glad I. Got my hair cut last week, Lol
Everything is green & growing like crazy here with all the rain we’ve had.

Hypernova, sorry you chose to drink, it’s a conditioned response. I’d say we all did that, drank when happy, drank when stressed or sick. You can change your patterns, that’s what the Tool box is for. Make yourself a good plan & pick another date to restart. You can do this

LC, you’re doing great, making a plan & following it to. The cold sore will be gone soon, try not to focus on it too much. We all have those days.

Narilly, glad you enjoyed the Beatles music, who doesn’t??

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,
quick fly by on my way to work.. not quite awake and waiting for the coffee to sink in..

""Its persistance not perfection and one of these days your quit will stick so don't give up.""-- love this Nar! that has always given me hope and kept me trying again and again.. so many of you here have made it stick and i really want to make it stick..

i'm feeling so much better after just a short week and a half.. the first week was soooo hard with the combination of brain fog and physical exhaustion.. now i feel like i can handle both as they feel more "normal".. like something non drinkers would also have.. today is day 10 and i'm going to enjoy it.. i'm not going to drink and f*** everything up again (meaning it will lead into another binge).. instead i'm going to take it easy.. i'm going to concentrate on working at a bit slower pace, being mindful of my actions (i work with organic veggies so it can actually be quite meditative peeling 15kg of potatoes!:happy2.. i'm not going to rush to leave cause i don't need to get started drinking (normally i start jonesing during the last hour, which doesn't feel good).. then i'll exercise and come home and relax.. and check in here!

Lav, i'm jealous of your green and garden (though not your 90 degrees and humidity!).. what % humididty do you all have there? how big is your garden? can you grow a lot of the summer produce you need for home?

hugs all around and see you later..xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone!

Hypernova - sorry to hear you hit a speedbump in your quit, and thanks for telling us.

Nar - the Beatles dinner and musical sounds like a blast!

Slo - I hope you feel better soon :hug:

LC - thanks for sharing the post from the toolbox. That was a good one!


This is the first somewhat lighter week in my summer work schedule. I made it! Will gradually be catching back up with all of you.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

LC you are sounding good, keep the gratitude as a priority. What you say about the drinking bought back memories of my past also. i can honestly say i never ever want to be there again. i will keep being accountable for my sobriety by logging on here and saying hello. the isolation drinking, that was me, the breakouts on my face, yep. i had some autoimmune thing happening due to al (never admitted that back in the day and of course could not get it looked at as someone might find out i drank), now it occasionally flares up but due to the heat. Great work for saying no to going out, we dont need stress and when you feel ready you will enjoy going out and not drinking. i felt so deprived and it wasnt worth it, much easier to stay home. Great post from Orimus, i do wonder where he is.

Hyper, good to see you back and you will get on track. I love walking, i have had really bad shin splints and people said to me to just not walk anymore, well they may have well said to cut my head off. it took over 10 pairs of walking shoes and a good podiatrist to get me on track. my shoes may cost me $300 a pair but i can walk without pain and it is so good for mental health. i hope you feel better soon.

Nar i dont want to tell you the temp here as you will laugh at me. i love the cold but not the wind. we are getting highs of 13C during the day but its overcast and windy and blah. four seasons in one day. i much prefer a sunny winter where its just beautiful out. just so miserable and the fur babies come home all wet but they dont seem to mind of course.

Lav, i am trying to grow cauliflower, cabbage, carrots, spinach, broccoli. not doing overly well but i am persevering at present. lots of leaves which the chooks will get. they are not liking this weather.

time for a nap, i bought a pillow that i have fallen in love with and has made such a difference to my sleep.

take care xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I had a great weekend with my son and his friends - As a group they are a wonderful bunch of young people. He "graduated," meaning he walked in the ceremony but still has three classes to take this summer and fall. I thought that was weird, but lots of kids were doing it. Go with the flow, Pav.

As for the exercise discussion - to me some form of exercise was key for my sobriety. I had a deal with myself to put my shoes on and if nothing else at least walk to the end of the block and back. I almost always went further - and almost always was listening to the Bubble Hour. It took me about 6 months to listen (taking No Sugar up on her suggestions). I can't recommend it more highly, especially for women. It really helped me to hear stories from people like me, and the topics are incredibly relevant. Also, LC, I would one day at a time. No sense in thinking about day 31 - just stay sober today. This minute. This minute.

Hypernova, I am worried about you. Do you have a therapist or someone you can talk to? The darkness is hard to weather alone. Take good care and ask for in person help! I am sorry you drank, and I agree with Lav, it doesn't have to be a give. It is a conditioned response.

Lav, stay cool. Ava, good luck with the garden. Hiya to everyone else. I am off to work!

Happy SOBER Tuesday,
Pav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hypernova, I remember mixing the powdered Theraflu with vodka when I was sick. OMG, it was hideous but it didn’t matter as long as I got my fix. Yes, day 13 was a turning point for me. I’d fallen on day 12 three times before….so getting over my own rough edge boundary was a foundation I could build on! It’s ALL a mental exercise, so doing whatever it takes not to drink is a winning strategy. I found excuses to succeed! All you gotta do is get thru this day!
The Tool Box is a real treasure-trove. Thank you for the reminder.
Hugs to all, Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya Nest. I'm trying to read your words and they are not sinking in very well. I have tested positive for covid and have brain fog. My husband got it first and we could not avoid it even though we have masked and I slept in the basement. So far, my case seems to be milder than his, but I definitely feel like my head is full of cotton and my lungs hurt. So we are doing that in our household. I used to be so afraid of feeling bad, but now I recognize it as a normal part of a balanced life. It's my turn, and there's good in it everywhere... I can sit on our back deck and watch/listen to the birds and feel the breeze, I have time to watch a few documentaries I have been waiting to have time for, I had a couple nights with my daughter for a "sleepover" in the basement before I started feeling yucky, and the pace is nice and easy.

Life feels good, even though I'm a little achy and sick.

Hypernova, I'm sorry you drank. And I'm sorry you are feeling so low. Big hug from me. I used to drink for pain too... for stress, or sickness, or feeling low for different reasons. And it worked to an extent, but now I take a bath or a nap or drink a mocktail or read a book or watch the birds - or just feel the crap until it lifts. Anyway, best to you today and I hope you feel better soon!

LC, I love the Orimus post. How lovely.

LAV, nice garden haul. How will you cook them? I haven't lost my taste yet, but my husband has and he is so indifferent to food now. I would love to know how you plan to serve them?

Narily, enjoy the show! Singing is good for the soul :heartbeat: We have tickets to Moulin Rouge later this summer and I'm excited to see such talent! It always blows me away.

This morning, my husband (feeling like crap and all), hosted via Zoom a holocaust survivor as he told his story. I sobbed the entire time. The hell they were thrust into and endured. And he is now 93 and sharp and has a great sense of humor. It was painful, but also heartwarming. It seems to be common among people who've lived very long lives to be grateful and see the positive, have a great sense of humor, and have a purpose. His is to make sure people don't forget that it is awful to treat other humans badly. He lives by the golden rule, recognizing that we are all from the same human race. What a star.

I don't even know what I'm saying any more... time to go lay down. Best to everyone.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sorry about the Covid, Kensho. You found the silver lining anyways!
The Holocaust has always completely freaked me out too, and I like to hear & read accounts from the survivors. I perceived it as a “long ago” thing when I was a kid, and am shocked Ava an adult at how recent it was! I mean I’m getting pretty along in years -and yet there are still survivors! And their resiliency is amazing. Those do seem to be the traits of many long-lived people: gratitude/positive, purpose, sense of humor.

Ava, can I ask what kind of pillow you got? Kohl’s stopped selling the kind of pillow I like, and I haven’t been able to find a good replacement.

I drove up to babysit the grandkids Sunday/Monday, and today went out for lunch and to a little museum with my former sister-in-law, and her companion caregiver whom I’m friendly with.

LC, great idea to eschew the triggering event and just send your daughters along; and good plan to see him for coffee later instead (less of a trigger), and confide in him by way of explanation and for support. You’re protecting your quit!

Hypernova, I can’t get enough exercise lately either. It really helps us for the endorphins etc. It is a good, and probably necessary, one to have in the “toolbox”. I hope you get back soon to more AF days. Back on the horse!

I like to hear how others build a satisfying AF life. I like Narilly’s idea to sing in a choir. And then that leads to social outings with the choir too! -ones focused on music instead of drinking!

Hugs to you too, Byrdie!

I’m going to ride my bike some tonight after it cools off a bit, and then look forward to hopefully feeling better tomorrow!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

In case some of you haven’t heard, Pauly’s husband died very suddenly yesterday. Such a shocking event for a young man, only about 51 I believe. Let’s all keep her & her family in our thoughts, send prayers, light & strength. There is a GoFundMe started to help with funeral expenses. Fundraiser by Kellie Whittle : Please help my family during this difficult time. If you can help, please do so.

Heat & humidity still here, 90 degrees & humidity > 60%. Anything >50% is uncomfortable, yuck.
A few of you asked about gardening here - yep, we live in farm country, mostly Amish farmers in this area. We have nearly 3 acres here & could grow more than we do but then you have to go thru the canning work, etc. I don’t have that much energy any more so we freeze some, eat the rest & share what we can with friends & family, along with plenty of eggs of course. About Holocaust survivors I have had a few as hospital patients over the years & met another at a college conference I attended with my daughter’s class way back. Just sitting & listening to them breaks your heart & you realize we must be stronger than we realize to survive something like that. Bless them all!

Kensho, I sure hope you feel better soon. I figure we will all get Covid, sooner or later but grateful we’ve been vaccinated & boosted so it should be mild cases. Rest as needed & get plenty of fluids. Hope it’s a short case.

LC, Hypernova, Pav, Wags & everyone - hello!

Wishing a safe night in the nest for all.
Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - I'm so sorry to hear about the covid cases in your household/family, especially yours! It sounds like you are finding some positives in the whole thing, which is pretty amazing. I hope you feel strong and healthy again soon.

Pav - when do you leave on your trip? Not sure if you saw my post with some suggestions -- just some of the favorite places we spent time in the same part of Italy it sounds like you'll be in for at least part of your trip.


Hellos and waves Lav, Byrdie, Slo, LC and everyone else stopping by the nest.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Lav, thanks for letting us know about Pauly's husband.. so sad to lose someone so unexpectedly and quickly, without a chance for closure with the person.. do you keep in contact with her over FB? i haven't seen that she still has a thread here..? i have thought of her from time to time and wondered how she is...

Kensho, i hope you'll all be up and at 'em again soon.. i hear you, though, about being "excited" for some down time.. you're in such a great space in your mind! i'm so happy for you.. i hope the next time i'm sick i'll be able to just relax and heal instead of panicking and trying to rush through it.. not possible anyway, so why bother? better to patiently wait it out.. you love listening to birds, it sounds like.. are you a bird watcher? i also love birds and bird watching.. my best friend, who lives in the country side, has an amazing pair of binoculars and lots of interesting birds.. the past years she's had a pair of marsh harriers nesting in the reeds on the lake at the bottom of her garden.. it was amazing to see them diving into the reeds to feed the babies and shooting back out.. we don't have a lot of diversity in the city but i do see the odd robin.. and we have a lot of blue tits visiting the tree next to our balcony..:love:

ok. i'm late for work.. i got to start an hour later and i'm still late.. ha!
going dress shopping with my eldest after.. she just wrote her last test for her Abitur.. like a HS graduation here.. it was biology and they had to sit/write for 5 hours!! goodness, i didn't have anything like that that i can remember..
Pav, i can't remember if your son is graduating HS or U? does he have plans after he finishes up his classes?

big hugs..xx

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

Oh that's terrible, Lav. Pauly has endured a lot in her life. Thanks for sharing. If you speak to her, give her my love.

Sorry you have covid, Kensho. It is nice that you can sit on your deck. My husband never got it when I was sick even though we live in a small apartment. Go figure.

LC, he is graduating from college. No firm plans - he is good in school and likes it, so I wouldn't be surprised if an advanced degree is somewhere down the line. Probably travel. He's not money and job status oriented (too bad for him! ).

Wags, I'm leaving in a week and a half. How do you pick an Agriturisma? I went to look and they are all over the place. I have a hard time making a decision. I would take any and all recommendations (we're staying Florence and north). You can DM me if you want.

Happy SOBER Wednesday.

Pav