Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello All,

I'm still at my brother's house but going home today. SIL came home yesterday afternoon looking awful and went straight to bed. She is doing much better today! Basically they had to laparoscopically remove an embryo that implanted on the outside of the uterus. Weird, but these things happen. The good news is that she did not lose a Fallopian tube (sorry to the men for all this female jargon). She knew she was pregnant, but the blood work numbers were not progressing as they should. And she had some mild discomfort and knew something was wrong. Kudos to my brother for listening to her and helping her advocate for herself as the doctor did not want to do another sonogram and wanted her to wait a few more weeks.

I spent Friday night here alone with Amelia sleeping with my ears open (usually sleep with earplugs) so I did not get much rest. Fortunately bro asked the nanny to come help me out in the morning as Amelia is quite a handful at 15 months and she would have worn me out.

I'm heading home later today which has historically been a trigger. Seems that if there is AL in the house, I will drink it. I hope hubs kept up the good work with keeping the AL out of my sight while I was gone. I'm actually on day 5 now and do not want to blow it as I feel so much better now.

Holding hands with you LC, we'll get through this.

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

you've got this [MENTION=3200]Belle[/MENTION]!!!!:love:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Boy was it a hot one today, phew! I am blessed to have a good AC system. Only go out when I absolutely have to on days like this. LC I do minimal cooking in this heat because I don’t even want to eat but I do have an always hungry husband haha!!!

Ava, sorry you’re feeling down right now. Losing a loved one is tough, especially such a young one. Sending you healing strength.
Glad to hear your kids have gotten the message about alcohol & drugs, nothing good ever comes substances. We all know this for sure.
How are your chickens? I just mixed my younger flock in with the oldies today so I’m keeping my fingers crossed there’s no blood shed in the coop tonight.

LC, glad to see your staying close to the nest! Hope your day worked out as planned.
I used the air fryer lid on the Instant Pot tonight & fried up a bunch of chicken tenders. They’ll be on on top of salads & such this week

Belle, glad to hear yur SIL is going to be OK. Ectopic pregnancies can be frightening, so glad to hear she was helped quickly.
Great on your 5 AF days, keep going

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest! I think Pav is flying today, wishing her a safe trip.

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

It’s not hot here at all, Lav. Very windy too. Although it was quite hot on Wed., Thurs., & Friday.

You have a good plan for a vulnerable time of day, LC. Swing through a drive-through if you need to on your way home from your bf’s parents (if they have those all around in Germany, like they do here). Ideally they weren’t drinking at your bf’s parents’ place today.

Belle! You have been rewarded for your AF commitment! Imagine if your brother had called just a few days earlier when you were drunk. I’m sure it felt good to be available to help like that. Geez, I’m glad your brother advocated for his wife too! Sad that Amelia isn’t getting a new sibling this time, but great that the Fallopian tube was saved.
Yes, those 15 month olds are intense! I’m finishing up 5 days today with 13 month old Mabel and 2 y/o Beckett. Was thankful to have son-in-law here for the evenings and all weekend. It goes much better with two of us!

I’ll be driving home to my condo tonight, and sleeping there for the very first time. That will be my home from now on.
But I won’t be there long, because I want to go see that new grandson for the first time tomorrow!

It’s funny how we feel so alone in our alcoholism, Ava; and yet so many of us (like you & me) have family members struggling with it too.
Lucky your daughter has you, for both your example and for your encouragement & love.
Jasper’s death is a painful blow. It’s just so sad. And grief has its own timetable.

Time to start a new week! Let’s keep our quits going!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters!

we're boiling over here, i'll say.. just had to go into work briefly today, thank goodness.. 100+° is much too warm without AC..! but i did the old trick of closing all windows, balcony doors and curtains which does help!

How did it go, [MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], the first night in your new place? have a lovely time visiting your new grandbaby!! is he the new little brother of the 2 you were just babysitting?

[MENTION=3200]Belle[/MENTION], how are you today? please check in and let us know..

How'd the oldies take on the young ones, [MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION]? how old are the newbies?

[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION].. i was reading back in the Nest today and saw the post about your backpack from Ray.. Jenny is my second cousin! (my dad's cousin).. funny, huh? i saw her at a family reunion in August, 2019 and talked to her for a long time about all of her adventures/where they're living now.. crazy, what those two have done.. how did you come upon the idea to make your own backpack? (that post is about how far back i got, so i didn't get the whole convo..)

all is more or less going alright here.. my eldest is still wrapped up in the stress of making a big decision.. i think i mentioned to you all that she moved in with her boyfriend (husband, married in a mosque, but not a legal state marriage) last October.. they've been together for 4 years and she's never said anything "against" him or their relationship. in March/April she began to talk about problems they were/had been for a while having and about how lonely she's been for a long time.. it's a long story, as they tend to be.. she was contemplating leaving him, but hoping and believing he could make some changes (we all know how that goes..) and then she got pregnant. she's 20 (will be 21 in Nov.), just finished with school, was super excited about upcoming plans/ideas for what she wants to do next, doesn't think she's ready to be a mom.. he really wants kids (he's 24 and comes from Gambia where he has 11 siblings!).. he just got back from a 5 week trip to visit his family (she was meant to go part of the time but cancelled because of their current problems) and they've been discussing, i guess.. i haven't really heard from her for almost a week. she'd made an appt. for tomorrow (2nd appt.) to terminate the pregnancy but called this morning to postpone till next week.. they were very nice at the clinic and gave her some numbers of people/dr.s she could call to talk to, which i hope she will. she's always said she would never get an abortion if she got pregnant, she's not against it, but it's not something she could imagine doing.. we've had many, many talks, as she has had with everyone who loves her.. it's her decision and i'll, of course, support whatever she decides to do.. there are always many roads to take in this lifetime, as we all know.. so now i'm just waiting.. if she decides to terminate, next week is the last chance she has in this clinic..after that she still has a bit of time, but has to go to another place. i hesitated writing about this here, because i know what a difficult/divided topic it is, especially with everything going on in the U.S. right now.. but it's heavy on my heart and it helps to share. i hope that's ok.. her dad (my ex) is being a real ass about it, basically saying he's not sure how much he'll be able to support her/see her if she decides to have the baby.. this coming from a highly educated man..he just wants his "idea" of her and what he thinks is good for her.. i get that we all have an idea of what we think is best.. but she's an intelligent, thoughtful, loving human being and sometimes these things happen and then it's necessary to make a decision, even when neither option is really what you would wish for yourself.. (at least now..she knows she really wants children someday).. sigh.. heavy heart as i imagine what's she's going through..

ok. i hope you're all doing well.. big hugs..xx

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congrats Slo! How exciting! I had my first at 37 weeks. Took us by surprise. He's a giant now I would love to snuggle a baby again. Enjoy your first night in your new place!!

Lifechange... you are doing really great. Stick to your plan, even as things feel boring or great, or sad... you're on the right track! What if you told yourself you've completed 21 (or the correct number of days), and now you're starting on another 21 days, at day 1, and repeat? You've said you lose steam at this point before... maybe play a trick on your mind? Whatever you do, don't stop checking in here!!! No matter what!! . Sorry to hear about the difficult position your daughter is in. There's one thing for sure about this subject, and it is that I've never talked with a person in her position who took the decision lightly. She'll choose the best thing for her. Hugs to you both.

Good job Belle. I had alcohol in my basement during my quit, and still do - but I wouldn't let people keep it in the fridge or cupboards in our Kitchen where I could see it all the time. I still don't. Yea! for being able to help with your niece! I hope your SIL is ok. And hunger was a HUGE trigger for me, and sugar craving. Eating till full and anything I wanted was one of my biggest tools.

Ava, I love that you buy your daughter flowers. I have been trying to make a point to tell my daughter how pretty she looks. She's not a twiggy girl, and people make fun of her weight. Yet she wears crop tops and lets her beautiful belly be out in the world... I love her self-confidence and just want her to know that she's worth the world. I'm sorry for your loss of little Jasper. Sounds like he really shined his light for the time he was here :heartbeat:

LAV, how did your coop do last night?

Nothing much new here, except less driving now that my son has a license and wheels. It's a relief, yet I find myself missing the time we had in the car. I'm scheduling movie nights with him instead... And I'm finally feeling mostly better, 14 days after my first covid positive test. I still have the junk behind my nose that won't seem to leave me, but I have hope since my husband is a few days ahead of me and is feeling better now.

Best to everyone. I can say for absolute certainty that DECIDING TO QUIT DRINKING WAS THE BEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE IN MY LIFE. I wish that for everyone here.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, you wrote something so on point a few days ago: "BUT.. it is less lost time than it would have been if i hadn't quit.". It applies to every challenge we face. Sure, the best time to have done something may be in the past but the second best time is RIGHT NOW! And you're doing it!!

I'm sorry your daughter has such tough decisions to make but it is such a gift that she has a choice. Having grown up assuming we always would, the current US situation is really tough to accept. Even Belle's SIL may not be helped in some states now. Such a travesty. I'll spare you and not get started on my current world views!!

Belle, being the trusted adult in the room feels great, doesn't it? It's wonderful to be the solution - not making the problem worse. I'm so glad your SIL got the help she needed.

I was crafty this weekend, Lav. Took some of my UFOs (unfinished objects!) and finished them - often making them into something quick and easy rather than whatever I'd originally planned and apparently tired of. Now I have some suprise table toppers and runners that look very nice.

Pav, have a great trip! The last time I was overseas I spent all day longing for dinner when I could finally have some wine. And of course we ate LATE! My addiction didn't ruin but it certainly lessened the whole trip. I can still remember that agitated feeling and never want to experience it again!

Ava, I'm sorry you're sad :hug:. It is hard when the unfairness of life is especially harsh.

Kensho, I hope you're feeling better. My BIL and SIL continue to be plagued by fuzzy brain and limited taste/smell. So strange how differently COVID affects different people.

Congratulations, SLO. With 4 daughters, you might turn out to be a VERY BUSY grandma!!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Sun is out now but it rained earlier. The humidity is 70% & more, ugh.
The chickens all survived overnight but there’s still a lot of hen pecking going on - it’s a real thing!! I guess they will all settle down at some point.

Slo, I hope your first night in the condo was peaceful & comfortable. I’m sure it will grow on you & you’ll end up loving it there.
How did your visit with the new baby go?

LC, I’m sorry your daughter is in such a tough spot. Of course you’ll support her decision. Do you think his family will give her a hard time? She may not be comfortable being around them, she kjust needs to be safe & cared for. It’s hard to watch your kids go through these grown up situations. Be there to comfort & support her, she will need her mom :hug:

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning Nesters,

i'm on the run this morning, a bit late getting up! plan today is to come straight home after work, shower quickly and then get to the gym!:happy2:
i'm not feeling super great right now.. but work usually tends to help me pull out of my head.. thinking about your idea, Kensho.. though not sure about having another day 1!!

have a nice Tuesday!xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I love my condo! My furniture was delivered while I was gone babysitting for D1, so I came home to a fully furnished condo! It is lovely here. My sanctuary.
My internet service was hooked up yesterday, and then I got to go meet newborn tiny grandson! He is just so cute, with silky blonde hair and full lips. I’m driving the 35 miles there tonight too to hold him some more. I’ll bring dinner in for them too. Daughter (D2) says he’ll still be little next week -but I know how fast they grow!

Ugh, Lifechange. Frustrating that that pregnancy occurred when their relationship was on the rocks. What a tough thing for you & she to go through. Thankfully you can be present for your daughter.
D2 is worried about what can happen to her remaining embryos with the new abortion laws here, and if she will be allowed to use them for another IVF pregnancy.

NS: UFOs (unfinished objects) -I love it! Every crafter has those! The mother of D1 & D2’s best friend dropped a hand-knit baby blanket off for new baby Huxley (I’ll have to get used to that moniker!) yesterday. She has knit afghans & baby blankets for them for both their weddings and their babies. It’s inspiring me to maybe pick up knitting needles again and knit a baby blanket for D3’s baby…I haven’t knit 30 years!

Kensho, it’s such a relief when they start driving, and you get more time back; but then I missed sharing their music in the car, and sharing their friends in the car, etc.

Here’s to enjoying another day where we are NOT chained to a bottle!!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey there Nesters,

Beautiful day here tomorrow is supposed to be the same. I made plans to get the grandsons tomorrow morning & take them down to Elk Neck State Park in MD, only about 30 minutes from here. They need to get out of the house & hike the trails with us. Afterwards they can have a nice seafood lunch fresh from the Chesapeake Bay so they will be happy.

LC, hope your work & gym time left you feeling in better sorts today

Slo, I’m so happy to hear your condo is all set, yay! Make it all yours & enjoy life!
Congrats on the new grandbaby, I’m sure you’re excited. I embroidered blankets for my grandkids because I don’t knit or crochet, haha. Whatever you decide to do have fun

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Saw Pav’s pic in Italy on FB - awesome!!

Lav

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello again everyone!! So happy to be here and read all the really nice posts. My family has never been very cohesive & I believe that will always be with the ones that are still left. Really a shame because I was always there for everyone and it is a very empty feeling. I mean really I supported my mom all of my life and when she developed dementia I was the caregiver in charge. My 2 sisters were MIA for the whole experience and it should be the daughters not the son by himself. So it makes me glad to see when people can have that natural affection that many here demonstrate. Well I believe I need to share more here. Just not too much in one shot. Anyway today is day 2 and it was a real Doozie cause the angst/depression/anxiety emanating from my body was horrible. When I came home I thought I would go back and buy a bottle. I needed to do something as I could hardly stand. So I started peeling some garlic and created a great meal. Not easy but delicious outcome! I had been at the vet's office with my little buddy chihuahua/daschund mix. My vet referred him to a surgeon for an ongoing patella problem that is common with the breed. With all the stress in life right I am proud I didn't cave. So my plan is to exercise, stay busy, not drink & Pray. Day 3 will be here soon. So let's see if I am as tough as I think I am. Thanks to everyone... To be continued.... hyper

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning Nesters,

Great to see you, Hyper!! well done on getting through stupid day 2.. one of the hardest always for me. i hope you will share more here.. just make a point of coming and reading and posting something, anything each and every day.. it really does help.:love: tell me again, where you're living in the world.. maybe we're in the same time zone? i'm in Germany..

Slo, i'm so happy for you in your new condo! and for you with another grandbaby!.. please tell me again, which kids go with which daughters.. didn't realize you have 4!! so nice that they're close by..

sounds like a lovely day, Lav.. have to say i'm envious of the hike and fresh seafood!

my daughter and her guy are going to the Gyn today to talk and to look at the baby.. it's looking more and more like she's deciding to keep it.. in which case, i'll take a bit of time to switch things around in my mind and get ready to fully support her in bringing a little baby into the world.. never thought i'd be a grandma at 53! let's see what she decides..

running off to work now.. will check in again later. wishing you all a nice Wednesday..xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Slo - how was the first night in your new condo home? I hope you find it to be a wonderful place to heal and start a new chapter.

Ava - I can't even imagine how hard it was for all of you who loved and love Jasper to lose him. Such a sad turn of events really. I'm glad you're going to get your 4 weeks off from work and in doing so a nice long break from that PA.

Lav - when you wrote about how hot it was there the other day (over the weekend I think?) it was blazing hot here too. Thankfully we've cooled back down. Have you?


Such a crazy time we're having here in the U.S. I've got nothing good to say about the country as a whole and I don't feel good about the way things are headed. There have been hundreds of events, comments, decisions that would have been "fantastic reasons to drink" in the past. Note, not really good reasons -- more like excuses. I'm so glad I made my quit non-negotiable as it has both forced and enabled me to develop better healthier coping mechanisms. In order to try to stay positive, my wife and I have doubled our efforts toward building community in our neighborhood and circle of friends. I'm so grateful for each and every one of our neighbor-friends. If the apocalypse happens, I'll have two places to turn for support and togetherness: my neighborhood and this NEST!


I hope everyone is having a good end of June. How is it possible that the year is almost half over??? Whoa! Time sure does fly faster as you get older. Take care everyone!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Everybody,

Checking in after a few days...it is day 8! It is hard to check in on work days. Seems like I have 50 chores to do before I go to work, and then need a nap before dinner when I get home. Then a cup of tea...rathern than a gulp of AL. Walking the dog after dinner has kept me grounded also.

[MENTION=19596]Slo[/MENTION], congrats on the condo, sounds awesome. In my dreams I think about someday having my own sanctuary. It is sad but I don't think I can take the rest of my life with hubs. The stronger I get, the more he challenges me. But without drinking, I am up for the battle. I am happy that I made the decision to get all the AL out of the house and for him to hide his smaller gin bottle somewhere in his domain. When I feel an urge, I know there is nothing here to drink and I vow not to go out for any AL.

[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], what a big decision for your daughter. The changes in the US are so disturbing. I may not want to have an abortion myself (but I do remember missing a period when I was 17 and considered my options, fortunately I was not pregnant), but I will not run someone else's life. It is also frightening to know what the US Supreme Court could put their hands on next. And as someone mentioned, my SIL could have been prevented from having her possible life saving surgery on her ectopic, if she was living in another place. Fortunately (thank you all for asking) she is recovering day by day, and I hope they still have a chance of giving Amelia a little brother or sister.

[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION], sorry to hear you are down. The story of little Jasper is heartbreaking. There is just no making sense of something like that happening to an innocent child.

[MENTION=8356]Lavande[/MENTION]...we are having the same weather here. How was the hike in Elk Neck? Sounds like a fun day trip.

Take care, all!