Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS: UFOs (unfinished objects) -I love it! Every crafter has those! The mother of D1 & D2’s best friend dropped a hand-knit baby blanket off for new baby Huxley (I’ll have to get used to that moniker!) yesterday. She has knit afghans & baby blankets for them for both their weddings and their babies. It’s inspiring me to maybe pick up knitting needles again and knit a baby blanket for D3’s baby…I haven’t knit 30 years!

Hola friends,

I googled UFO forums and found one that looked good. They said 'sorry you were abducted by aliens G, we all know how u feel'....i said, wait a minute pilgrim, i'm just trying to finish sewing up a hole in me jeans!.....

Slo, Congrat's on your new joint and new family addition!

Ava, hope you feel better real soon my friend. Take care of yourself. R.I.P. the courageous and heroic Jasper. I hope your family are ok.

Big waves to evabody and keep it going!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters,

It was a great day for a granny hike, haha!! We had fun although one grandson did not go because he didn’t have himself out of bed by 10:30 am, haha. His loss but we are taking him with us to Longwood Gardens tomorrow. It’s our 49th anniversary so taking an 11 yr old along is no big deal. It was 80 & full sun today, pretty on the water.

Hyper, you can come here & dump on us, we’re here to listen if it helps you.
When my parents were sick & aging my 3 brothers were nowhere to be seen. I guess they figured their sister, being a full time working nurse had nothing better to do. I never appreciated that, now one is gone, one won’t talk to me because he claims I am the Ultimate Bitch (not sure why) & the 3rd brother is now on the west coast but we do talk. Families are difficult, to say the least. Hang in there & make this your final quit, you’ll be happy you did.

LC, I was 55 when I entered grandmother-hood . It was actually a good time because I still had some energy left to help watch them. If your daughter does decide to have the baby she will need lots of support & you will be there for her.

Wags, I have to agree with you, the state of the union is atrocious right now. Watching the Congressional hearings has at least made me feel I have a lot of company feeling the way I do.
Not to get into a political bashing here but the Right wing contingent is out to destroy everything & everyone. You should see the candidate they have running for governor here in PA, OMG what an awful person from beginning to end . I have always voted but now I feel I should be encouraging everyone I know to be sure to get to the polls in November.

Belle, you have 1 week + AF, good for you!
No matter what the future brings we owe it to ourselves to be 100% clear headed so we can make good choices & continue to take care of ourselves. The hike was good but I think we grandparents slowed down the 13 yr old just a bit, haha. He stuffed himself full of fish & chips afterwards so he was happy

G, don’t hurt yourself trying to stitch ripped jeans. Go buy one of those iron on patches made for that job

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening, I got my WiFi working for reals today, so I can post now.

Lav, great idea to get those boys outside and moving! My little sister gets her four kids out hiking all the time. They go to all the natural beauty spots in their area. And sometimes she makes them all bike together -then they get to stop at the frozen yogurt shop before they turn around.

Belle, the best thing you can do if you’re contemplating a future divorce is to get solidly sober. There’s some motivation for ya! I’m surprised at the number of women who told me they were envious of me when I was getting divorced. But, I too was always dreaming of having my own little sanctuary. A place where I wasn’t feeling disrespected or dumped on or worked against or rejected. A small enough place to manage where my knee wouldn’t hurt & swell so easily.

Wags, my first night in my condo was great. I came in late after arriving “home” from babysitting the two grandkids, and got to see my furniture all in and arranged! And sheets & bedding on my bed! Then I got up in the morning and out the door to go see new little grandson! So I didn’t perseverate much on my change in housing.

Hyper, so good to see you, and hear some of your story!

G, just leave the hole in your jeans for the “distressed” look! And one less UFO then!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters!
accountability check in.. everything is moving along as planned..:happy2:
off to work now.. will be back this afternoon. wishing everyone a nice and easy Thursday.xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - I'm so glad you felt comfortable sharing the decision your daughter is currently trying to make. Regardless of what she decides to do, it's clear that she's giving it a lot of careful thought and seeking input from medical professionals and family/friends closest to her. I'm grateful for her and for you that she has options, guidance and support all available. I will stay tuned for your updates, and I offer support for all of you. :hug:

Lav and NS - I'm truly dismayed by the situation in our country. Almost distraught. Politics aside, a whole slew of people have been conned by a guy who tapped into their fears and core values and toyed with them. It's sad and disheartening to see how many elected officials in one party have jumped on the bandwagon as their own means to acquiring power. It has really become like a cult. I wish the "true believers" could step outside themselves and see how badly they're being played. I would think they'd be pissed at being used, but they're so enmeshed and invested at this point I'm not sure it's psychologically possible for people to acknowledge they've been totally and thoroughly duped. We are marching toward authoritarianism and the masses think they're being "patriotic" in their fervor. I honestly don't see this divide ever being mended. My brother (a professor) knows as much about history and politics as just about anyone on the planet, and he says things look very very grim.

On that cheery note... :sob:

Kensho - I'm glad you're feeling a lot better and I hope the rest of your symptoms resolve soon.

Slo - All of your news seems fantastic: the new condo all furnished, new bebe in the family, and moving forward in a positive way.

G - hope you find a UFO group who can help with your jeans-hole soon! :congratulatory:

Hellos and waves to Belle, Hyper, Ava, and everyone else stopping by the nest. Glad we're all on this same little planet together, even if we're all spread out across its surface.

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning check-in, before heading off to work.

Wags, that was a great post about the direction this country is heading, truly frightening. I don't know how much longer I can watch this nation drive itself into a wall.

Slo, thanks for the great advice. I don't plan on divorcing anytime real soon, but just want to get my "ducks in a row" and it sounds like sobriety is numero uno.

Hi to everyone else...off to the office (which is not unlike "the Office" sitcom)

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle, you may find that the longer you are sober, the less you'll be willing to put up with being mistreated. You will gain confidence and self-respect and not feel like you 'deserve' what's flung at you. Because of how worthless and guilty I felt, I pretty much lost myself and any sense of what I wanted. I couldn't even bring myself to have an opinion about what movie we might watch, much less insist that I have my way. Never mind all the more important decisions for which I no longer gave myself a voice. I'm so glad Slo has removed herself from such a toxic, demeaning environment and hope that someday, if your husband can't see the light and change, you can, too. I'm not a proponent of divorce in general but a marriage should make each individual better and more than they are alone -- not constantly diminish one of them. You deserve to be treated well and built up, as we all do.

Wags, I read a thoughtful piece by Mary Pipher this morning: Opinion | Coping With Despair - The New York Times
Of course she doesn't have the answers but I think her advice is worth considering during these extra challenging times.

xx, NS

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi again, Nesters!

i haven't really felt like writing today, cause i don't have much to say.. but i think it's important anyway and part of my plan. and today is the first day that alcohol has entered my mind which frightens me.. i've been exhausted with a headache the whole day (but so has everyone with this hot and humid weather) and worried about my daughter, didn't sleep well, have been eating too much crap, have got some questionable "advice" from friends on how to handle daughter's situation.. the thought of escaping for a minute sounded good.. but i know that thought is a big, fat LIE! i said a few times, i don't drink, then came home and read here.. (thank you for your support, Wags.. that came in just the right moment), then i had a nap.. just helped youngest and her BF to make a glass noodle salad.. she's opening up to me again.. :love:.. so much incentive for me to stay on my path.. i asked both girls if they had a bit of time for me on Sunday evening.. i want to have a little celebration for my 30 days and i want to let them know what i'm working so hard on and to apologize for the recent past..

aside from being a bit off today, things have been going really well.. (i'm learning to be patient during the off days, realising they come regularly for me!).. i noticed yesterday while talking/listening to my eldest, that i could focus/concentrate much better than a couple of weeks ago, i was more patient, not at all edgy.. tonight as well, even though i'm tired, i could pull myself together to help cook/do a bit of shopping, be patient and thoughtful.. 3+ weeks ago i would have either been already tipsy/asleep/annoyed/hungover, etc... now i have the feeling i can, for the most part, handle my life and my emotions.. and if i can't, i try to pull back.. tonight a big group of people from work are going bowling.. we had to reserve/decline last week and i declined (planning in advance, not putting myself into a potentially stressful situation).. thank goodness! they were talking about it today and i just thought, thank god i don't have to cancel!!

Belle, well done on what is now 9 days!!!:happy2: you're doing the best thing you possibly can.. putting yourself in the strongest postion possible by choosing sobriety! if you're clear in your mind, able to rationalize, stand up for yourself, make good decisions, no one will be able to mess with you! i can't remember if you've mentioned whether or not you have a quiet/private space you can retreat to in the house if you need to "escape"? i know for myself, that if i'm feeling "attacked"/put down, it can help to take a deep breath, say nothing, turn around and retreat to a quiet space/outside/whatever, to gather my thoughts before i respond.. not to feed the fire, if you know what i mean.. we don't have to let anyone control us/have power over us.. !!:love: you're sounding determined!

Kensho, are you all well now? did you already tell us about your summer plans? you all tend to go camping somewhere, don't you?

Wags, do you have summer plans? a long bike tour? i'm also so glad we're all on this planet together.. and i loved your post about how you and your wife are trying to do as much as you can in your community/smaller cosmos.. a friend and i were talking about the same thing the other day.. when we feel out of control about all the shit going on in the world, we can make an immediate contribution to the goodness/love which also exist, with our actions/intentions.. we can make the world a better place for the people/creatures we come into contact with, and though it might only make a small difference, it does make one. my ex husband is like your brother and for the past couple of years i've had to be careful about how much contact i have with him.. he can look at everything objectively, where i tend to get deeply depressed. does your brother publish anything online/have a blog?

ok.. love and hugs to all of you.. thank you so much for being here..xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Had another pleasant day out in the world, this time with grandson #2. Walked a few miles at Longwood Gardens where it was pretty hot & then stuffed him full of dinner at Applebees. He’s still hanging with us but I need to take him home shortly.

Glad to see so many checking in & supporting one another. That’s what we do here
Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC, it’s easy to see why you had a craving if you were exhausted and with a headache. “Tired” is a big trigger. And craving something that will ease the pain when you’re in pain makes sense too. It’s a good thing you didn’t sign up for bowling, or you would have needed to cancel!

I’m tired too, but a good tired as bedtime approaches. I have been biking each morning the last four days on my old bike trail! What a way to start the day! Love this season for that.
Then I visited D2 with new baby Huxley again, when D1 came down to meet him with her two toddlers in tow. I picked up some Jimmy John sandwiches for us. So that was a nice opportunity! But the toddlers were a bit much in the unfamiliar house, so I was happy to be a grandma instead of a mom; and get to leave them after a few hours.

I hope it all works out for the best for your daughter, LC. What tough decisions she has to make.

Wags, I was surprised too that a large mass of people here in the U.S. were so gullible and were duped.

Belle, a wise sober friend advised me to get as strong and sober and healed as I possibly could if I thought my marriage was falling apart. So I did just that, as well as I could, for three years. It was a major duck to get in order. I suspect being an alcoholic spouse could put one in a disadvantaged position in a divorce case.

How wonderful for you though, Lav, that you are celebrating 49 years of marriage today! Happy anniversary!

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy anniversary Lav!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning check in here with all of you Nesters!

Happy 49th anniversary, Lav.. that's a biggie!
made it to the gym this morning which always helps change my perspective! also trying to reign it in with the sweets.. i've really been overdoing it and am sick of the sugar hangovers! so will try to make it a bit healthier.. feeling good. but keeping in mind that i promised to take it easy for at least the first 3 months.
i've pulled back with some friends (3) who i seemed to always be helping.. i love to but it was straining me.. they're feeling my distance but i can't help anyone at the moment but myself and my kids.. not enough energy/strength/nerves to go around!! also, with these 3 it's always been more or less one sided which gets old..

how are you doing, [MENTION=11645]Hypernova[/MENTION]? were you able to fit in some exercise?
and [MENTION=3200]Belle[/MENTION]? thinking of you both as we're in similar boats!!

wishing everyone a nice Friday!!

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good day, all.
Quick check in before heading to the dentist...and need to brush first!!

Thanks for all the sage advice, NS, Slo and LC. NS you hit the nail on the head. When drinking I almost expected to be treated poorly because I was being "bad". That thought really it home with me.

Son and I made a caprese salad last night together. He is more of a cook than that, but can slice tomatoes straighter than I can. I also was able to really see the progress that he has made on his NY Fashion week projects. He never had great grades in school, but I am watching him drape fabric, and make patterns...and then make mockups of his designs in muslin. I called him a genius which never seemed to be warranted before...lol. But seriously I can't believe the stuff he is capable of doing. And math...never his strong suit, but when it makes practical sense to him i.e. "distributing fullness" in a pattern...it is not a problem.

Daughter is in the doghouse because she never unloaded the dishwasher last night and I am going to hold her too it. Dishes are still in there, and then she will have to load all the dirty dishes that are on the counter, enough to run dishwasher again. I'm going to tell her she is not going anywhere until BOTH runs of the dishwasher are unloaded.

Gotta run. Dentist is close by, so of course I wait until last minute.

Day = 10!!! Happy dance.

Waves to all!

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey day 6 here. Will post more in depth later as I just found out now I am off tonite so I can spend a great day with my lame pup, get in another bike ride on the trainer again ….. (not feeling strong enough to go out on the road yet but next week will be different) then have a relaxing nite with my little Buddy and cook something healthy!! Being off tonite is best news I can think of. Until later wishing Everyone a happy and healthy AF day…… to be continued…. hyper :happy2:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

The sun has just returned after a thunderstorm which seems to have cooled things off a bit. It was 96 & humid, ugh.
Resting my aching feet & knees today after all the hiking the past two days but it was fun. Trying to come up with a day trip idea for my granddaughter next.
Many of you know that my 49 years of marriage haven’t always been the greatest. I’m just amazed we are still standing after all the ups & downs over the years. I guess that’s true to say about a lotof things, right? Life throws more curveballs than you ever imagine.

Hello to g, LC, Belle, Slo & Hyper & everyone stopping by later.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all.

Lav