Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just wanted to say "good morning" from east coast US before I head off to work. And I want you all to know how much your support and kind words mean to me. C'ya later. Have a good day, all.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

In the middle of a thunderstorm at the moment, figures! I just saw a tornado warning posted for a county way north of here, geez.

Belle, hope your day was good.
I pretty much remembering giving our kids behind the scenes advice once they left home. We figured they could figure out their own issues, they were smart enough. Once we shut down the ‘bank of mom & dad’ we heard a lot less about their problems, haha! I’m sure your daughter will figure things out too.

LC, hope you had a good day too!

Slo, a day with the new baby sounds nice
The extreme last thing I ever needed in my life was being told what to do or not do by a spouse - what a joke!!! I never forget things like that either

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

evening nesters

Slo, sounds like you are settling in to your new house, lovely to hear. i still remember things about my ex and wonder why i didnt leave earlier but i stayed because of the children, my divorced parents did nothing for me so i didnt want to do it to them.

Belle, Hyper and LC, so good to see you checking in daily, it makes a huge difference in your sobriety to be accountable to us. god i could not imagine even now, coming on here to say i had drank. You are both doing so well. Proud of you all. you will never regret being sober.

I had a good day at work today, i have just disassociated from the PA, dont go anywhere near where she works and spend time with my registrars who appreciate me. they loved their new staplers today and pens last week ha ha. Two of the reg's are down with covid, we cant get replacements as everyone else has the same issue.

i had to call my dentist today as waiting for the moulds for my teeth to whiten them and apparently she was down with covid last week also. i feel like i am playing russian roulette with covid atm. i am getting my 4th vax hopefully next week.

Lav, i had to have a chuckle, i love dogs more than humans too and chooks! still waiting on my son to put the final touches to my two side fences so i can start fostering. God kids are so frustrating sometimes. if i bug him enough he will come around and i have to take him to the airport in a week or so so i can use that against him.

take care xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yikes, we also had major storms last evening.

And then...son had some friends over and they had the bright idea to hang a sheet on the deck, and use a projector to watch movies outside. I tried explaining to my son that electronics and water don't mix and it would be awful if someone got electrocuted. He blew me off saying "nothing is going to happen". It turned into a pretty big argument...then hubs comes upstairs from his hole, not knowing what we were arguing about and tells son "don't engage her after 6pm when she is impaired". Wait, what? First of all I was not impaired and plan to never be again. Second of all...nice job, dad throwing me under the bus. He's trying to make it so the kids don't even talk to me after 6pm, even though I am doing my best work to remain sober. It makes part of me feel like "why bother" if I am still going to be accused of being "impaired".

Yes, there were problems in the past. And I still am in chronic pain which does make me cranky sometimes in the evening. But he is making me out to be the bad guy to the kids and I am so sad about this.

And he has no memory of the 5 years (of the past 10) that I was completely sober.

If there was anyone that could drive me to drink, it is him. I know...nobody can do that but myself, but he is impossible to live with. I wish I could leave now but he would just indoctrinate the kids and alienate them from me.

Help. I am doing my best but feel like giving up.

So, I think I will buy an air fryer on Amazon prime day, today. I know it will piss him off, but if we have room for the 50 or so cast iron pans he bought (and only uses 2 or 3 of them), there is room for an air fryer. Any comments on air fryers are welcome.

Hi to all...sorry this is all about me but I can barely go on today.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Don’t let him derail you, Belle! You are doing this for you. Remember, if you do leave him in the future, you need to be strong and solidly sober, with a lengthy chunk of solid AF time, in order to be in the best position to weather a divorce. Also, it does take time for the others that you live with to regain trust that you are not drinking…
The people in the Cattlemen’s Cafe thread are talking about air fryers today!

Lav, exciting that your craft fair is almost here! My visiting friend was going to drive the 5 hours home on Saturday, so I didn’t make plans for us, as I waited for her to leave…then she said she was staying until evening and we should do something -so I tried to get us to an art & craft show, but by then it was closing down! And it was a beautiful day to browse an outdoor art show. Oh well; my knee wouldn’t have been able to take too much. I hate living with chronic pain. I know a lot of us are doing just that though.

Hope your work review went well on Monday, Ava. I like your strategy to focus on the co-workers who appreciate you, and dissociate from the PA. Your fence should be painted soon, if son wants a ride to the airport!

It was very nice getting to spend the afternoon with daughter and her new infant. I got my oxytocin fix for sure. Today is his due date!

Waves to Gman, Wags, Kensho, Pav, NS, Hyper, and all of you! We’re in this together!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Just like always it’s hot & humid the day after a thunderstorm. I personally would be OK skipping summer all together!!
Grateful that tis weekend’s craft event is indoors, in a big auditorium with AC, yay! That way if it decides to rain I can just ignore it & not worry about everything getting wet.

Ava, glad to hear you are able to stay away from your work nemesis, who needs that sh*t at work??
Your son definitely needs to get that fence work done before you drive him anywhere. My kids know better, they know my thinking haha!

Slo, great to hear you had a good day with the new baby. We won’t be getting anymore so I have to be happy with the two 11 yr olds & the 13 yr old. It’s fun to see them but not the same. That baby era goes by SO fast!!! I hope you get a chance to browse another craft event before winter arrives. I always loved them myself & some folks are just so talented & creative.

Hello to the entire crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Belle - I'm sorry you're being undermined and gaslit so much at home. Although I can totally understand your feeling of "why bother?" just remember you aren't sober to please someone else. You're doing it for YOU. The others around you who benefit from your quit are like the icing on the cake. I hope you find a great air fryer! I haven't used one but several friends love theirs.

Lav - sounds like the craft fair will be wonderful regardless of the weather. I hope you get a huge turnout and make loads of sales.

LC - I can SO relate to the not-so-fun of menopausal changes. Hang in there friend.


Speaking of hanging in there, that's my mantra these days too. I think about Dory from Finding Nemo: "Just keep swimming!"

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters!

yesterday flew by without MWO... can't get into that again.. although this weekend i'll be out at my friends place in the country so i won't be able to post on Saturday.. will read though.
my 2nd colleague had covid so i probably won't work today.. i'm also not feeling great and cooking for so many people alone is a lot even when one is 100%.. hopefully next week will be possible..

Belle, that was surely not nice or supportive in any way of your husband! i would've been so pissed off as well.. but as the others have said, he's not worth losing yourself to alcohol. nobody is.. have you spoken to your kids about the fact that you're giving your all to your sobriety? i don't know.. but i think talking to the girls, explaining to them the difficulties, the triggers, the need for LITTLE stress for awhile (at least 3 months has been mentioned here).. they are old enough to deal with the truth AND to kick in and help a bit if/when necessary.. they can only understand if we open up.. my 2 cents..:love:

Full moon!!!! i didn't see it but i felt it! hope you'll have your energy back today, Slo.. that with a friend who stays up all night!! i'm someone who can't sleep in, no matter how late i go to bed.. i'm always up with the birds.. LATEST i can sleep is 8 and that's rare.. so if i'm not in bed by 10 or 11.. after a couple of nights, i'm a zombie.. sounds like a lovely time with the baby! i'm wrapping my head around the fact that i'll have one end of the year.. just now hoping and praying that it will be a healthy baby..

wish i could come to the craft fair, Lav.. mainly so i could be inside an AConditioned room!!:congratulatory: actually, it isn't so bad here yet.. next week is the killer!

Ava, yes, your son should get his butt over to help you build a fence!! if i were there i could help.. have some fence building on my resumè! will be lovely to finally have some fosters in..

Hyper, how are you holding up with your Fido patient? let us know how you're doing..

ok.. time for a shower! hugs all around..xx

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey everyone!! Missed a day or two here as I got lost in time helping out a couple different friends. So between my pup and taking care of others biz I haven't had much time but I realize how checking in here daily helps remaining AF. Been having and giving into sugar cravings last couple days. I have no shut off with sugar but I usually avoid it because of that but I think my trigger for sweets is when I am tired or maybe overtired. So will try the glutamine next time the urge hits - like tomorrow most likely!! Anyway things are okay and I am still off from work which is good. Today is day 19 and am feeling committed to this quit. Got in bike ride today on the trainer, lifted a few weights and did some foam rolling/stretching. When I start the exercise I feel so much better, so much!! So hanging tough with the help of all the friends at MWO.

So LC my pup is doing well. He has surprised me at what a good patient he is. Makes me love him all the more. He will be 8 next month so he is catching up to me. He will get stitches out and silly collar off this coming Tuesday so I do see progress. Am so glad I was able to weather this storm AF. Not out of the woods yet but feeling strong in my desire to not drink.

Hey Belle I have a friend who is available until like 5:30 then she is impaired and when on a call she will always say okay I gotta go. Guess you can lead a chook (learned that word from Ava) to water but you can't make them drink)..... or more aptly you can take away their bottle but you can't make them stop drinking. Sorry about your family issue. Family can be the worst - hang in there nothing stays the same forever, take care of yourself first!!
Also to update on what happened to my pup was that he had a luxating patella ongoing for a couple years which steadily got worse and predisposed him to a torn ACL which he tore before the surgery which
made him lame leading to the surgery. So we will see how it turns out. Surgeon says he should be better than new in 6-8 weeks.

Slo still off from the restaurant and returning on Saturday nite. I can and have been AF working at a restaurant before but never as committed as I am now. So I will reinforce my plan tomorrow and walk in Sat. nite ready. Besides seeing all the people drinking and getting bombed and saying stupid sh@%& is enough to make you quit not to mention the cost of drinking. So with the cost of everything else in the world going up what to do... quit non essential things. A great quote by Thoreau... "A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone." Henry David Thoreau. So the more things I leave alone the richer I become and I am not just speaking monetarily. Also thank for all your support Slo.

Best to all, and thanks to everyone for all the support found here.... hyper

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Another day of 90+ heat & humidity here, yuck. Starting to dream about the cool & crisp fall air already.

Hyper, you’re doing great, you should be proud of yourself. Glad to hear your pup continues to heal, they are special family members.
Seeing drunk people is such a turn off for me, they definitely do not tempt me. Getting back to work sounds like it should be just fine for yuo

LC, if you leave now you can make it here in time for the craft fair Saturday, haha!
I hope your weekend goes well & yo stay cool.

Wags, good to see you. Yep, I think people may enjoy an indoor shopping experience on Saturday considering the forecast

Belle, concentrate on you & don’t listen to the gas lighting. I have had experience with that myself in the past, not fun.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

evening nesters

Hyper, great work on the 19 days, i am sure my days initially sober never went that quick.

Oh LC congrats on your 30+ days, i meant to post that weeks ago (probably now weeks)

Belle, your hubs is an arse. i was so cranky when i read that. Even if you used to drink there is no need to put you down like that in front of the children. Stand up for yourself, i know that takes time and confidence but you will get there. we are all proud of you and thats what is important.

Lav, i so dont envy your heat, i am a tad over winter but i do like the cold, it just doesnt motivate me to walk though, mind you summer doesnt either but at least i can walk late evening. winter has been quite mild now. good luck at the craft show.

Slo, i would have just said goodnight and gone to bed. even now if i have people over (rarely), i just say goodnight, i need me time, i have learnt that over the years, i am not here to keep everyone happy, except the kids of course, sigh.

Wags, i agree, we have to just keep swimming, i am kind of getting out of my funk over Jasper's death but then it hits again, i just cant imagine what my niece goes through daily.

Today my daughters and mum and I paid her hairdresser for my niece's visit there. She had not been for so long and it cost about $400 for cut, colour etc. We paid the hairdresser for it and they told her once done, she just cried and said it was just so lovely of us. it is her 30th next month and i was sure that flowers were not the go after the amount they got when jasper died. I wish we could make her happy every day. when she was little all it took was a bandaid and a cuddle. she can now spend what she she saved on something she wants.

Give me strength, the annoying PA wants to meet to discuss my work that she will be doing. Quick meeting as i am asking her to do one thing ha ha. I am trying to avoid work due to the covid wave but have to get my 4th vax so going in Wednesday. not many sleeps till i have a month off.

Good news is that son is coming around tomorrow.

take care xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wowza!!!
slow day here in the nest as well.. all over the boards, it seems..
not a lot to say.. i'm sick, my youngest is sick, weekend plans were cancelled due to someone else being sick x2!
tis the season!!!
just watching junk on netflix, ordering in food and enjoying the cool weather before the fire next week.

big hugs!! hope everyone is healthy and having an easy weekend..xxx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

I just can’t get my mojo back. Just so very tired, and scattered.

LC, is cooking cancelled for the day at work if all the cooks are out sick? Sorry you’re sick, but hope you are enjoying the day by the fire and TV with your girls.
Well, since it turns out you’re going to be a grandmother, this is a GREAT time to get your permanent quit well underway before the baby comes. Great motivation!

Hyper, I was reflecting what you said; that staying home with your ailing dog was a temptation to drink. I didn’t realize that your work was at a drinking establishment, and that brings its own temptations! But, as you said, it also can make one see the downside of drinking (the drunk patrons).

Ava, what a thoughtful gift you all chipped in to get your niece!! Yes, grief is really something, the way it comes & goes.

My sister & I took a teenage nephew out yesterday to get him out of the house and around family. It involved a lot of driving, but he got to see his grandma (our mother), baby Huxley & Huxley’s mom, and go to a French festival. He liked the day!

Then I had an argument with my sister this morning, but you know what, Ava: I’m not here to please everyone either! And I’m not going to have people being unnecessarily rough on my new things in my new place! I am done with that sh*t from other people -left it behind at the old house. But it did sour my day today.

I turned the A/C off today, Lav!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Got everything set up for the craft fair tomorrow so all I have to do is roll out of bed ,grab some coffee & get myself there by 9 am
The heat remains but it looks like the next few days will be a little under 90 for a change.

Ava, maybe we would do better if the seasons were only half as long, haha! I’ll take the cold any day.
That was very nice of you & the family to take care of your niece like that :hug:
Good luck with your upcoming meeting haha!!!

LC, sorry you are sick, your daughter as well. Is it Covid or some other bug?? Get some rest & feel better soon.

Slo, is your sister prone to mood swings or what? Sounds like she flips her switch pretty quickly, geez. Nice of you to take your nephew out.
Keep working on making you happy, the others can take care of themselves.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

hi Nesters!

i'm usually an early bird but today i'm checking in quite late..
had a pretty quiet day, with a morning visit with a good friend and then a walk around a weekly market with my guy.. strawberries and cream afterwards with my youngest and her bf.. we're both feeling better today.. wasn't/isn't covid, Lav.. some other annoying bug! Hope you have a grand ol' time at the crafts fair and sell a ton!!! perfect time for everyone to get set up with Christmas gifts..

Slo, i agree with Lav in that you're only responsible for your happiness.. it's all you can do anyway.. i'm sorry about the argument with your sister, though.. that never feels good. it does sound like your getting used to your new place!:happy2: yes, we close the kitchen if everyone is sick/gone.. next week i will cook myself and someone from another department will step in for the last hour or so to help out.. on wednesday i might have a friend (who's a great cook and who's helped out during summer before) come in and help.. we'll be fine.. i just hope we don't reach the anticipated 100°!!!! nightmare..

Ava, what a nice surprise for your niece..:hug:.. that surely meant a lot to her.. sending strength for your meeting!!

Hyper, great job on what is now 21 days.. glad your pup is doing well..

hi to everyone stopping by or flying by today.. wishing you all a nice Saturday/Sunday..xx