Newbies Nest

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nora,
I'm so sorry you have to go through this with your son. I have no good advise to give you since I'm not a mom. But I'm here and my shoulder is strong. You're not alone. Hope it all works out for all of you.
:h

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

Hi Chooks....I have been thinking of you lately....
Nora...get a home drug test kit from Walgreens and test him....we have a no nonsense approach in our house since I found pot in my sons room about 2 years ago.....and to think I drink too much....
And I think Dad should know...my two boys are a lot more scared of their dad than they are of me....but it's hard when they are 23....mine are 14 and 18

[fennel]

Newbies Nest

Nora, sorry to hear that your son is acting up.

I'm having a crappy day, too. Kitty isn't doing well. I just gave her fluids yesterday aft, and she's dehydrated today. Tried giving her more fluids and only got 50 ml. into her before she struggled free and the needle pulled out. She is beginning to not cooperate with the administration of fluids. It's one of the few things I can do to help her, which sucks. :upset:

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

Oh Fen...I am sorry......

[daylight]

Newbies Nest

Hi I posted in a new thread but should have come here first. I'll copy over a bit of what I wrote if thats ok? - Im worried about my drinking. I've always been a drinker and even thou I'm female, been one of the "lads" as far as drinking went. I stopped when I was pregnant and didnt drink much when my son was alive. He died suddenly and for a long time my self and husband were in total self destuction mode.
We're seperated now and things are better but ironically even thou my drinking is less i.e. some alcohol free nights I'm now more worried about my binges. I want to moderate what I drink and spend the majority of nights alcohol free.
I hope talking to people here can make me confront my drinking a get me to a place where I have some control..

[sunshinedaisies]

Newbies Nest

Hi Daylight - I am not sure if anyone else is here right now - there are usually other folk here. First of all, it is great that you have actually "said the words". That really is the hardest part. I am so sorry about your son - I just cannot imagine what that must have been like for your and your husband - that would turn me to drink too!

As far as modding - I don't think I can - that was my original intention when I came here, but there are few of us here that can actually do that. I think that it is suggested that one goes AF (alcohol free) for 30 days first than maybe if you want to mod, try it. First you might want to download the book - it is on the site and I would read that - it is about $12.00. A lot of folk here use supplememts that are also suggested in the book and/or meds. There are also tapes/CD's to listen to - I couldn't use the supps and didn't use the CD's but I do use Topamax as that took away my cravings.

Everyone here is absolutely wonderful - there is so much support - everyone has been there, done that and no-one ever judges you for anything that you have done - someone has probably already done it. Read, post, ask questions - download the book, hang around, welcome to a great place and congrats on taking that first step.

hugs to you,

Sunshinedaisies xx

[Spinning J]

Newbies Nest

Hi Daylight I cant even to begin how it feels to loose a child. Be kind to yourself . Take things slowly one day at a time x

[Mazzie]

Newbies Nest

Hi Daylight and :welcome:

You have found a good place now. There's lots of people on MWO from all over and at all stages of their recovery so read and read. Lots of very helpful stuff. One of the biggest hurdles is to actually realise that there is problem with our drinking habits and want to change.

You have been through so much already in your life - so much pain and stress. I'm not sure how I would be cope with all of that. Please be kind to yourself now. Try to do no more bingeing - Bingeing is scary. I can't help you with the modding - I've proved to myself that I cannot do that. I always end up right back where I was and even worse! I have been af for 5 weeks now and its getting easier and al just is not part of my life anymore - hopefully never will be again.

Hello SpinningJ and SunshineD - good to 'see' you. Hope you stick around so we can get to know you better.

NoraC - really feel for you with your son situation. I think its easier for us as parents when they leave home as then what we don't know doesn't hurt us. We just naturally worry about all the what ifs - they don't!!! And you are right about the drink driving Nora - definitely a no no. My boy (20) got home at 4am on Sunday. It is not easy seeing them in that state. (What must it have been like for my kids seeing me, their Mum like that?) We would like to help them avoid some of the messes we've made but at the age they're at I don't think we can get through yet.

Fen, so sorry about Bob - I really hope she was on the mend. Hope she bounces back again for you.

Chick, Good to see you too. I've been wondering where you've been. We missed you! Mammo and PapMom and everyone else I've missed - hope you all have a good day/night.

Molly is on hols I see - lazing around by herself doing ever what she wants - how good is that? And Hip on hols too. Hope they both have a great time.

[prancy]

Newbies Nest

daylight, welcome. you have found a group of very supportive people who will offer support, encouragement and advice on your journey. Many of us have tried moderation and found that it is not for us. But there is a separate thread for one who are moderating. You might take a look there.
As Sunshine said, it is suggested by lots of people here to have a 30 day AL Free period before trying to moderate. Sometimes we are blessed with more clarity during that 30 days and can approach the next stage with clear intentions and limits. Best of luck to you. prancy

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone.....

Fennel - I am so, so sorry about Bob. :l:h

Daylight - I'm so sorry for your loss. Please continue to come here & get support. I came here to moderate. I am finding that is not an option for me. Ok - I have found that is not an option for me but I haven't quite been able to completely stop yet. Some people can do it.....but listen to what Sunshine & Prancy have said. That is all true.

Chook - good to see you here. You have been missed.

Papmom - thanks for always being there with that strong shoulder. :l

Mama - thanks for the advise.

Sunshinedaisies - Good to see you here too. You have good advise. I should be listening to it.

Spinning - Good to see you!!!

Prancy - how are you doing my California friend? I think you are having much more success than I am.

Mazzie - Congrats on week 5. I am hoping to get to that point. I had a talk with my son this morning. Talked about what he did but also talked about my own issues and how hard I am struggling. It was a good talk. I hope that maybe it actually got thru to him this time.

Well - I hope that everyone has been having a wonderful day. :h

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone! Good to see some fellow nestlings!
Welcome Daylight. Can't add anything else to what's been said except that I had high hopes for moderating too and it's not going to happen. I will agree that it does get easier.
Fennel-oh you poor thing. Deep breaths and lets see what tomorrow brings. Call your vet and let her know what happened and see if she has any advice if that happens again. Poor Bob obviously wasn't feeling well but she will have her good days and bad days. One thing to keep on hand is Pepcid AC in case her little tummy gets upset every once in a while. Sending huge pings to you and Bob.
Congrats on 5 weeks Mazzie!! :goodjob:
Chook-good to see you again. Hope you stick around for a while.
Nora-good job on the talk with your son. He's old enough to take this information to heart I think. No longer an indestructible know it all teen. I'm sure he appreciated your honesty and concern. Hang in there-he may totally surprise you!!
Hey MB-how goes your battle?
Another weekend over. Hope all the dads out there had a fab day.
Have a great nite all.
:l

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

Morning all....
Mama is fine...at work....bleh!!!!
will check in later
How is Bob kitty this morning???
Nora...sorry if I was too bitchy about your son....you know I love you

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Mama - you were absolutely NOT too bitchy about my son. I appreciate the ideas but it is hard when he is 23. He is going to college & working (well his job just closed but looking for a job). But, when he does these things it just hurts so bad. Especially, when I think what have I done? How many times has he seen me drinking/slurring my speech. I was so upset yesterday. But, we talked and he really seemed to get it and realized that he was doing this in front of his young cousins that look up to him. And he felt awful about that. So, maybe something is getting thru.
So...thanks Mama - I know you love me and I love you.

You all are my lifeline. I just wish that I could get my own act together. I am so proud of everyone that are doing so well with their AF or their moderation. :goodjob: I am hoping to become one of those success stories soon.

[Mazzie]

Newbies Nest

Hi all

Just a quick check in this morning before heading off to work.

I do hope the Newbies are doing well.

And those on holidays are enjoying themselves - that would be Molly and Hip

Nora good job with your boy and having that talk. Can only help.

Daylight - how are you doing.

Big hello to everyone and I hope you all have a good day/night.

[prancy]

Newbies Nest

Nora, thanks for the shout out. I am doing pretty well. You motivated me to look and I am now 34 days AF. I find it much easier to be AF than to moderate. When I try moderation, I play so many mind games with myself and eventually drink more than I want and then after a period of time of sort-of moderation, I binge and that's it. Back to self-loathing, remorse, guilt. I am now giving myself positive affirmations in the morning instead of thinking of the day as another day without AL. I am trying very hard to switch away from deprivation thinking. That is a tough one for me. But for today, I feel good, I am sticking to my guns, and I am not tempted. For today and that is all I can handle at this point!
Hello to all and a strong "good luck and be strong" to all the other newbies.
prancy