Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings from over here friends,

Yep Lav, it was a delight to catch up with Ava and Steady. 2 legends of sobriety. We had a nice lunch and yap.

Hello Pav and Byrdy if ur reading!

Have a great weekend evabody.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC and Belle -- congrats to you both for surfing those waves of temptation and reaching the shore of morning with your quits intact!

Lav - I guess heat is better than hurricane

G - glad you, Ava and Steady had a great get-together. It's so awesome that you live close enough to do that.


Hellos and waves to all. Happy weekends!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

just flying by this lovely (rainy and overcast! finally!) morning.. my plan today is to keep calm.. not to let things or people get on my nerves.. and if they do i will pull away a bit and breathe deeply.. there's the potential for that today, i guess as there always is.. but today i see it in advance!:congratulatory:
we have a busy morning with my guy's family for his niece's Einschulung.. first day of the first grade.. and his ocd seems to be bothering him this weekend.. SO.. i will make sure to do what i need to do for myself..self care, as Ava has been constantly reminding me about!:love:

wishing you all a lovely Saturday!! we've got this!

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good morning, and here we are at the weekend:

Good plan, LC; as letting people & things get on our nerves really does destabilize us and can lead to drinking. I need to try harder to let things roll off me, and not get so upset about things. Work to keep my inner state from getting so de-stabilized. Thanks for the reminder.

LC, ginger ale was a good choice the other day when you were having a craving; with sugar, spice, and bubbles all in one. I find 0.0% beer to be very helpful as well, especially when out with people drinking, as having more than one soda is too sugary. The salty snacks, as G said, are helpful too.

The cookie was a good choice too, Belle, to stop up the craving in the grocery store, and tide you over until dinner.
That’s great that you can help your son by getting supplies from the store, so he can keep working.

Nice that you are having cooler temps, Wags, since you don’t have A/C.

How’d the Pilates go, Ava? I used to like doing some Pilates when I was younger.

I love it that our Aussie members had another in-person get-together! Then you don’t feel like the only AF person in OZ!

Great that you got an extra visit in with daughter & granddaughter, Lav.! That’s a day-brighten-er for sure.

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yes, I’ve been having a hard time these last couple years grappling with the realization of what happened to my brothers from Mommy Dearest actively rejecting them. She hadn’t rejected them when I was still living at home; she was busy then with Dad and me & my twin as her scapegoats. But she got around to my brothers after we left home…I didn’t think it would affect them as much because they were both so extroverted (unlike Dad and me & my twin), and both so very popular and with so many friends. I foolishly thought that their firm foundations with their early years of attachment and trust, and stellar integration with their peer groups would protect them…it’s only lately with middle brother’s suicide in 2020 and little brother’s massive descent now deep into alcoholism and depression; that I see that the narcissistic abuse affected them just as much as it did the other three of us. Yes, narcissistic abuse within a family is so extremely destructive.

How’s your dad doing, Wags? My stepfather guy is starting to actively fail now. He’s in the hospital again, and he will be discharged with Hospice home care. Hopefully he will make it to his 92nd birthday mid-September. He’s such a nice guy. He doesn’t want to die, but then again his quality of life is getting worse & worse, which makes him sometimes want to be released.

I’m doing a “Slow Roll” bike riding event with my nephew, sister, & daughter tomorrow. Hopefully it doesn’t rain. Actually twin sister will have to sit this one out since she is de-conditioned from fighting COVID recently, but she will be there. The nephew is my little brother’s son, and this is another way to get him out of the alcoholic home and out doing something. His twin brother keeps himself busy with high school football, and his little sister keeps busy with her friends; but this one needs more support.

I’m going to live at my own slow pace today, and have a low-key day. Happy Sattiday, as Byrdie would say!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest

LC and Belle, congratulations to both of you. You had a sober work-out and are now stronger after having made it through the tough time. Focus on the proud, relieved feelings you had the next morning -they are priceless. Brief escape (accompanied by feelings of anticipatory guilt and remorse!) is never worth it.

I'm jealous of you Ava, Steady, and G! I would love to meet in person with all the nesters :heart: Meeting Byrdie for 20 seconds in the Charlotte airport was great but not enough!

I'm going to be home alone for about 10 days beginning next week. It is such a relief to know I won't be ruining it like I always used to do.

Have a good AF weekend, NS

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Still hot, sunny & humid here just as promised
Neither of us can tolerate being outside for more than a few minutes, it’s getting ridiculous. Grateful for the AC as always.

NS, being home alone is kind of a blessing sometimes, haha! I don’t mind solitude & complete peace & quiet. I also don’t mind cleaning up after anyone but myself
Enjoy your peace & maybe you can get another project started.

Slo, it’s so nice that you can look out for those kids. I’m sure they will always remember you for that :hug:
Reading your words about your Mom makes me think of my mother-in-law, now deceased but she singlehandedly ruined all 4 of her kids. Never liked her from the moment I met her just after turning 16. Some people are just not fit to be around other people. Sorry you all had to deal with that growing up. Now that you have a clearer picture of all the damage she’s done you can choose to keep her at arrm’s length, for safety.

LC, hope your weekend is going OK. You put me back in high school German class with ‘Einschulung’ - not a word you hear often Hope it all went well!

Wags, at some point I will actually be ready for hurricane weather after all this blasted heat LOL

G, so glad you enjoyed meeting Ava & Steady!!!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

LC and Belle, that al voice can drive you insane some days and it takes every bit of strength to not give in but the feeling that you didnt, carries you through to the next time. It does get easier to say NO as time goes on and eventually that voice quietens to nothing.

Had a lovely lunch with G and Steady, the weather behaved and the conversation was non stop, probably more by me as i am a chatterbox. It didnt feel like nearly 3 years since we last saw each other.

LC, mags is part pommeranian and something else. My two boys are shih tzu's. I actually took Mag's this morning to meet a potential adopter and he now has found his forever home. This lovely lady just lost her 103 year old mum and a week after that lost her hubs and then lost her 16 year old dog. We had a cuppa and a chat and took her dog and Mag's for a walk. I know he will be spoilt rotten and have the best life with her. She has already emailed me a pic of them together. I'm sad but happy to have given Mag's a nice home even though i would have loved to have kept him myself. Bet i will say that a lot with every dog i foster!

Slo, i always wished i had different parents growing up, felt i got a raw deal but i suppose, better the devil you know. Thankfully my mum is going through a good stage! I always wait for "satan's sister" to come out though. My pilates/physio program was really good, i have used muscles that i didnt know i had but i am sure it will get better. Will be interesting to see what he does for me knee after my arm heals.

Lav, i thought it would finally be cooling down for you now. We have a 20 degree day today, lovely to have the house open and clothes drying on the line though i still have the laundry in the house mostly.

Back to work tomorrow, i have no enthusiasm at all but sadly i cant retire.

take care xx

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - that's so wonderful that Mags already has a forever home, and it sounds as though his new mum really needs some companionship and comforting after all those losses. You may well feel the same way about every pup. Here in the US we'd call it a "Foster Fail" when a pup ends up being adopted by their foster person. Do you call it the same?

Slo - I hope your Slow Roll bike event goes well. That sounds like a lot of fun, and a great way for you to be with your nephew et al. The upbringing with your mom sounds really difficult. What you described about your brothers is good evidence that even people who seem to have it together and who have a decent support network of friends and other family still are affected in major ways by parent(s).

Lav - shhhh.... be careful what you wish for on the weather front! Although I totally get the desire for something besides HEAT. I said out loud today that I would be happy if a cool rain settled in, and then quickly anti-jinxed us just in case the universe was listening.


This eve I tried a new NA drink called "HiYo" -- it is basically a sparkling water with natural flavors (mine was peach mango) plus nootropics (cordyceps, lion's mane, a few others), turmeric, and some other ingredients that are supposed to be good for your brain and overall well-being. Has anyone else tried HiYo or anything similar? They come in slim cans and thus give the feel of an al drink with absolutely no al in sight. I doubt I'd make it a daily indulgence but maybe something to keep on hand for times we hang out with others who are all drinking. It was nice to feel like I had something "special" instead of the tap water I usually drink.

Hellos and waves to all. Hope the rest of the weekend goes fantastically for everyone!!!

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

It really was great to catch up with Ava & G again. Though we don’t know each other well IRL, there is an easy camaraderie that comes with sharing the same vulnerability.
Both Ava & G inspire me in their own way. Ava with her care and concern for everyone in her orbit, her No BS advice and speaking her mind. G for his calm, sage suggestions, positive outlook and rock n roll grit. Both beautiful human beings.

It’s good to see people racking up AF days. It’s the best self-care there is. I remember when I started out on the sobriety path I made it a strict rule to have three square meals a day. By square I mean maximum nutrition including lots of protein for the brain. Asides from that I did whatever I felt like, except drinking!

Peace & strength to everyone,
Steady

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters,

gosh, there's nothing like waking up Un-hung (where are you, [MENTION=1354]narilly[/MENTION]?) on a Sunday morning after having had a good night's rest.. this would be the feeling to bottle up.. HOW can one keep it in the forefront of the mind? just practice?? it's a way better feeling than "drunk" ever was.. and even if an AL buzz rivaled it back in the day, it's been many, many years since that was the case!!
the celebration went on way too long yesterday, imo! but with the exception of a glass of prosecco (i had oj) they didn't drink.. so it was just dealing with family i haven't known very long, asking lots of questions, doing lots of listening, escaping out to the balcony for fresh air and some deep breaths.. after 8 hours! i said i had to leave.. done!

Lav, how long did you take German? were you able to speak? i guess there's a lot of German heritage in your neck of the woods, right? sure hope it cools off for you soon! we're getting a break now which is so nice.. can't wait for Autumn!

NS, enjoy your 10 days alone!! do you have any plans? gosh, if i were strong in my sobriety, i can't think of anything i'd like more than to have some time all to myself, without work! But actually, right now, my guy helps me not to drink.. so it's actually better when he is around for now..even if he gets on my nerves at times.. interesting that some of those times are when i wish he wasn't here so i could drink.. not often, but sometimes i realize that..

Ava, don't know if i mentioned to you that at one time my sister and her husband had 9 shih tzu's?? they were shih zu crazy!! i'm so glad you found a forever home for Mags.. sounds like a really good fit.. interesting what Wags said about foster failures.. i'd never heard that before, but i guess by being a foster mom and letting them go as opposed to keeping them, you're helping many more dogs..? is that right?

Slo, what is a slow roll event? tell me more!

How's it going, [MENTION=3200]Belle[/MENTION]??
how are you, [MENTION=11645]Hypernova[/MENTION]? quick check in if you have a minute?

ok.. we're off to the gym and then heading to a Japanese Market event.. soooo looking forward to the food!! hope there's lots to try..
wishing you all a lovely Sunday!xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi again!!
just wanted to have an evening accountability check in for myself.. stuck by my plan today, worked through some annoying thoughts.. am getting ready for bed and know that i will wake up unhung, rested and so relieved that i didn't mess it all up.. at the end of a day (especially one in where there's been a struggle, where at some point drinking might have seemed like a good idea/option) it seems CRAZY and impossible that i would have in any tiny way "considered" drinking.. now in my sane mind, i think again, thank god.. and everyone here at mwo for helping me!
good night.. hope everyone is having a nice Sunday..xx

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

It really was great to catch up with Ava & G again. Though we don’t know each other well IRL, there is an easy camaraderie that comes with sharing the same vulnerability.
Both Ava & G inspire me in their own way. Ava with her care and concern for everyone in her orbit, her No BS advice and speaking her mind. G for his calm, sage suggestions, positive outlook and rock n roll grit. Both beautiful human beings.

It’s good to see people racking up AF days. It’s the best self-care there is. I remember when I started out on the sobriety path I made it a strict rule to have three square meals a day. By square I mean maximum nutrition including lots of protein for the brain. Asides from that I did whatever I felt like, except drinking!

Peace & strength to everyone,
Steady

You and Ava are inspiring and beautiful humans too Steady! great to see u both.

Yo raaawkin da house LC!

Big waves to evabody. It's monday morning here. A new week ahead not a ticket to no freakin b...bb.....bbb....boozeville.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Still Sunday evening here - greetings Nesters!

The heatwave continues…….
The grandkids start back to school tomorrow so at least time is moving on even if the weather isn’t!

G, hello to you

LC, sounds like you made the most of your weekend in a positive & healthy way, good for you.
I studied German for 3 year sin high school, it was really a trip. My dad’s side of the family had a lot of German blood & I grew up hearing stories from my grandmother. The funny thing is 27 years after high school I went to Germany & was able to understand a lot, could even read the newspapers a bit. That was surprise, haha!!

Ava, so glad Magnus went to a good home. That’s how you do it, good job
Good luck returning to work, I know it’s always difficult.

Wags, I’ll have to check my fav Delaware store & see if I can find that drink, sounds interesting.

There’s some stuff I need to do this evening so I’m just going to say Hello to all & wish everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

heading out to work for a short and easy day.. Mondays usually are.. [MENTION=19460]STEADFAST[/MENTION], great tip about the 3 square meals a day.. honestly, something i don't think i've ever tried.. i'm usually a snacker, waiting till i'm (too) hungry before eating.. so today i started the day off right and will have a full, seated lunch and dinner, too.. thanks for that..

give us a shout out, [MENTION=3200]Belle[/MENTION]!:love:

wishing everyone a nice Monday..!