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    Re: Newbies Nest

    Hello Nesters & wishing everyone a warm & safe evening with family & friends.
    Treat yourselves well & protect your quits, no matter what.

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

    Comment


      Re: Newbies Nest

      Merry christmas, Feliz navidad from here to evabody near and not so far.

      Slo, i am currently liaising with a chica from Ecuador. We get on well and she's been keen for awhile. We'll see what happens when i go over for another guitar tour next year. thanks for asking.

      Off to mum's for a family lunch. 29c here. Beautiful for me. then again, it wouldn't matter if it was hailing and stormy. It'd still remain warm in my heart. This is what happens by default when you aim to live your truth daily. Previously high levels of Stress and worry often fall away considerably. Because i no longer live in fear, and choose action towards my best self, and am careful of my environment/who i surround myself with. If they don't support me, they can go.

      Here's a cool recipe i use daily - What's my focus today? is it - What could go wrong for me today?, or is it - What could go well? You know what i'm talkin' about dawg.

      Surf's up diggity's. Merry christmas. x
      Last edited by Guitarista; December 24, 2022, 08:46 PM.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

      Comment


        Re: Newbies Nest

        Hello nesters one and all, happy weekends and Merry Christmas. Protect your quits like they're precious, cuz they are!
        Toolbox/Toolkit

        Comment


          Re: Newbies Nest

          Merry Christmas everyone.

          Had a lovely day and the kids bought me an awning for the back so that was well used today against the sun. Had a lovely day and everyone helped which is always a bonus. The kids have gone to my sons so its just mum and i and the 6 dogs. The fur babies all get on pretty well and my fosters got their first xmas gifts today, Gucci has no dog social skills and wants to be in everyones face but she was segregated for a time. I am so worn out now, even mum told me to go and lay down. Got some lovely gifts and it was just a really nice day. First xmas that hasnt turned to shit by drunks so a double bonus.

          I hope you all have a beautiful day and Lav that is so cold. tomorrow i will be suffering through a 36 celcius day but it will be an easy one.

          take care xxx
          AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

          Comment


            Re: Newbies Nest

            Merry Christmas Nesters,

            We’re still in a super chill here in these parts but we had sunny skies all day
            Definitely did not do much today, hauled out yesterday’s leftovers for dinner tonight & now I’m going back to doing nothing haha!
            I hope everyone has had a good day, celebrating with family & friends or just enjoying a peaceful day.

            Wishing a safe night in. The nest for all!
            Lav
            AF since 03/26/09
            NF since 05/19/09
            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

            Comment


              Re: Newbies Nest

              Quiet Christmas day here. Still a lot of ice and snow on the ground but gradually starting to melt.

              To be honest, this time of year is hard for me. It mostly just reminds me of how dysfunctional my family is in some ways. My mom really held us all together, and I'd like to think I helped, but since she died it's been all on my shoulders and I'm really tired of that.

              Well, we got through the day and can move back to normal routines and that's at least a bit easier. And I don't drink so that's a LOT easier.

              Take care everyone. Happy last weeks of December and 2022.
              Toolbox/Toolkit

              Comment


                Re: Newbies Nest

                Sending Holiday Blessings to you all.
                Gentle
                Hugs
                Shades
                730DB667-7ACB-4B4F-B877-6C13E35EA4E4.jpeg
                Minion says…
                Dear Santa I don’t want much for Christmas I just want everyone who reads this to be nappy…
                Last edited by SHADES_of_IDAHO; December 26, 2022, 01:13 AM.
                "Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. " by Winston Churchill .

                Comment


                  Re: Newbies Nest

                  Good evening Nesters,

                  Cold but sunny here still, warmer temps on the way this week. Also a new heater for my house is on the way sometime this week as well. Boy will that ever be nice, haha!

                  Wags, sorry you have the job of holding the family together. I did that too after my mom died for many years until it was time to just give it up. Not a single brother or sister-in-law ever offered a hand so all the planning & work was done by me. I’m much happier now just entertaining my kids & their kids, that’s enough. Take the rest of the year off, Lol

                  Shades, nice to see you & thank you for the Christmas greeting. Hope you are well

                  Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
                  Lav
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment


                    Re: Newbies Nest

                    Shades - great to see you. Hope you're doing well.

                    Lav - thanks for the support. Family stuff is really hard and it helps knowing others understand at least some of it.

                    I know there are many others here who have challenging family situations as well. I hope you all find peace with yours.


                    Stay safe everyone and protect your quits!
                    Toolbox/Toolkit

                    Comment


                      Re: Newbies Nest

                      Happy Holidays to all.

                      I am reading about so much positive success here, I hate to admit I drank on Christmas Eve. It was a culmination of things that tipped me over the edge. Hubs had been dealing with his mom, who now seems to be back to baseline, I was trying to pull too much together for Christmas and wrapping everything myself while hubs and son spent the day making beef Wellington (which was delish, but required 2 bottles of wine to be present). I am sad as the kids are going to be moving away in not so long, into their own lives...when they have been a part of mine for so long. I also had a much more difficult time dealing with my mom's birthday this year (the 23rd), she would have been 91. So while cleaning up after dinner I just said "why not...I have earned it". I did not drink much, but just enough to make me a liar if I came here and said I made it through AF.

                      I am also sick of this fibromyalgia that is so unpredictable. you can do everything right and still hurt.

                      it makes absolutely no sense at all. But yet again I am determined to never stop quitting.

                      I have since put together my personal plan, and have it on my notes app on my phone. And I commit to, if I am ever tempted, I will first go to my plan and read it all the way through.

                      This is all hard to admit but I feel better that it is out there. I don't want to live a lie.
                      BelleGirl

                      Alcohol does me no favors.

                      Pouring poison down your throat is just plain STUPID!

                      Comment


                        Re: Newbies Nest

                        Ava, I had to look up what a pavlova is, and it looks super yummy. My son made macarons for the holidays; I may have to ask him to attempt this. NO drunk Christmas sounds great. I believe you were the one to initiate that shift in your family, right?

                        NS, CONTGRATS on your last day!! 32 years is huge! What will you do with your time now?

                        WAGS, sorry that family stuff feels stressful now. Is it really on your shoulders only? You don't have to own that roll if you don't want to, but I understand wanting family to stick together.

                        LAV, happy belated birthday. :heartbeat: I can't believe you had to endure that cold spell without normal heat. Our temps dipped to -17F, WITHOUT the windchill - sounds like yours were below zero too.

                        GMAN, great to hear you have a lady friend. I hope it works out. Are you doing a long distance thing?

                        Belle, have you looked at nutrition for your fibro? There are people who have completely reversed autoimmune conditions by changing their diet, but I'll admit that it can be a pretty big shift. Sucks that you have to deal with it.

                        I had a drinking dream. I don't remember it well now, but I didn't feel shame or stop myself. Not sure that's good. I am not interested in drinking, but it was weird that I didn't wake up in a panic. Maybe it was from holiday stuff. I get fairly cynical this time of year. For me, Christmas is doing all the things I am "supposed" to do, because most people do them - but I'm not really connecting with the cause. I always feel like I want that time back - the time stressing over getting enough and the right presents for everyone - wrapping them just in time for people to tear off the paper and throw it "away", and having obligatory social gatherings. It feels forced to me. I want to spend my time on meaningful things. I like the lights because it is so dark. But chopping down a tree to put in my living room, and all the other holiday hoops that are expected are bothering me. If I never hear a Christmas song again, it will be too soon. I am not connected personally to Christ, though I am very spiritual. So I may start calling them "winter lights". And I may suggest we just go on a trip next end of December. I think I would prefer that so much. I just am not into going through the motions anymore.

                        Anyway, sorry to those for whom Christmas is special - I mean no judgement to you. It just means very little to me personally.

                        I have some time off, but getting some time to myself may be a challenge with everybody home. I have locked my doors for a couple hours. I tend to need a lot of alone time!
                        Last edited by KENSHO; December 27, 2022, 05:03 PM.
                        Kensho

                        Done. Moving on to life.

                        Comment


                          Re: Newbies Nest

                          Good evening Nesters,

                          Glad to see folks checking in today. Still chilly here but not quite as bad as it has been, still waiting for that call that the new heater is on the way!!! LOl
                          I think I’ll remember this holiday season for a good long while.

                          Wags, I have a feeling there are lots of daughters like us - saddled with keeping the family together whether we want to or not haha. Don’t let them drive you nuts!

                          Belle, holiday stress can be a real pain in the a$$. You came here & fessed up & yo’ve adjusted your plan. Don’t beat yourself up but do look for a better way to handle the stress next time. We are just human & it’s not always easy. Take care.

                          Kensho, the drinking dreams used to freak me out but the eventually stopped. Can’t remember the last time I had one. I figured they were serving some purpose, maybe they did.
                          I also feel less ‘Christmassy’ as each year goes by. I kinda feel like i’m done with all that extra work, not even sure if anyone still appreciates it anymore. I’m doing just a little less each year until i’m done haha!

                          Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
                          Lav
                          AF since 03/26/09
                          NF since 05/19/09
                          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                          Comment


                            Re: Newbies Nest

                            Hola nester's near and not so far,

                            Hi Belle. Great you have a plan written out on your phone. That's a commitment action right there. I've found feeling overwhelmed, whether via responsibilities and/or stressing myself out in my head, is something to consciously minimise or avoid. Easy for me to say i know, as i'm not expected to organize family stuff like christmas day etc. But it might be something to consider aiming for daily? Aiming for a day where you keep everything as simple and stress/debate free as possible. Trimming the fat i suppose. You will get to where you want to be physically, mentally, emotionally, and you can do it.

                            Speaking of trimming the fat, i'm reminding myself to trim the unnecessary time wasting things, like unhealthy thoughts/focus, people, activities, foods. I'm going full on savage/beast mode in 2023. As in, still a good man lol, but respecting myself a lot more and scheduling in the important stuff to me daily, so it git's done. 1% healthy, relevant to my dreams action per day = 30% per month advancement. One year = 365% improvement. if i keep it simple, and do a minimum of one thing i need to do daily, and one healthy thing i want to do daily, then.........Wowza! IFKR?!

                            Yo K-dawg! Hope you are relaxing and recharging in a way you like. Yep, with my friend it's a long distance scenario - again. The last one didn't work out, but that's ok. I'm aiming to travel sometime in the first half of 2023. There are lot's of reasons for me to return to Sth America. I recorded an album in Colombia in February with local musicians, so returning to do some gigs is another focus.

                            NS. Will you be hitting the coast and taking up surfing?

                            Big waves and love to evabody.

                            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                            Comment


                              Re: Newbies Nest

                              Belle - thank you for your honesty, and kudos for your recommitment to your quit. I think this time of year is super stressful for many people, perhaps most people. Reframe what you have "earned" and reward yourself with something that truly makes you feel better: favorite music, a walk, even a tasty snack or treat if that sings to you. We all know you know how to do this and you're already doing it - just a blip on the radar is all you had.

                              Kensho - Christmas holds very little meaning to me either, and it means even less to my wife. We celebrate solstice and "winter", and we always set positive intentions for the new year. But no tree, and the only "gifts" are experiences not things. As for the role I'm shouldering in my family, I suppose I could walk away but it would be really bad and honestly that would be harder. I have decided that doing a few minimal things is ENOUGH and I have recently started forgiving myself for not doing more. Sounds like you're carving a similar new path for yourself. I support you 100%!

                              Hellos and waves to Lav, G, NS, Ava, Slo, Steady and everyone else hanging out in the nest. May the end of 2022 treat you all well :heartbeat:
                              Toolbox/Toolkit

                              Comment


                                Re: Newbies Nest

                                Hi Nest.

                                Thanks Wags. It helps to know that others are feeling the same. And I didn't mean to suggest that you shouldn't help with your family, only that you can choose what you want to do, and it sounds like you have done that. Your family will be thankful for your efforts, even if they don't say so outright

                                I'm grumpy today because I have to check in with work stuff. We were supposed to be leaving today to snowshoe in to some mountain yurts, but hadn't heard from the company for a door code as of last week - come to find out that the company shut down and hasn't informed anyone with reservations, nor do we expect to get a refund. I LOVE being up there - melting snow for water, chopping wood for the stove, and living simply - but the packing and prep is brutal! SO I have time at the home office, and intend to do some business maintenance.

                                Headed up to another city tonight for a dinner with friends - who drink. My husband asked if I want to come up earlier to join them at breweries and I can't think of anything I'd like to avoid more SO I'll come up later.

                                NS, I will need a photo of you catching a wave.

                                Keep true to your goals everyone!
                                Kensho

                                Done. Moving on to life.

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