Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Still with the partly cloudy partly sunny cooler days here & that’s OK. Trying to get my brain organized & decide what crafty projects I want to get into this year. Not having too much luck yet but there’ sno rush, haha!

Battle, it sounds to me like you need to practice mindful breathing right now. Helps a ton & it distracts you from all the other stuff for a while
We can’t control everything happening but we can respond in a relaxed mindful way. Hope your day improved a bit.

Wags, sounds like you have a good line-up in place. I’m happy for you!

Ava, isn’t it funny how we’re feeling chilly here at 41F & you’re overheating at 41C? I’d gladly share the cooler air if I could.
I think Carl will do just fine, stay on the positive :hug:

NS, I also get Tuesday’s off every week so I’m back on grandson duty Wednesday, Thursday & Friday. I am also extremely grateful to be a big part of his life. I made the right decision nearly 14 years ago
That’s good news about your acupuncture sessions & therapist. You’re moving along quite nicely, good for you.

Hello to all & wishing a safe night in the nest for everyone!!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava - sounds like a super hot day! Glad things ended up more pleasant. A 5am start to your work day doesn't sound super fun though. What time is sunrise for you this time of year? I'm guessing not that early, but I'm not sure what your latitude is.

Lav - your decision nearly 14 years ago was probably the best self-investment you could have possibly made, and your grandkids are just some of many who are benefiting from that besides you.

NS - that's amazing results from acupuncture. I'm totally sold and will have to give it a try. I am all in favor of non-invasive methods and quite honestly non-westernized medicine when there are alternatives.

Battle - ice on the inside of the car?!?!? Glad the french bulldogs were able to turn your day around at the end. Your clean is intact, which is fantastic.


Biggest news on my end is my 92+ year old father finally (FINALLY) decided it was time to sell his car. He hasn't driven in 3 years but he held onto it "just in case" he needed it. I have been the one to drive it every week and make sure it stayed in good running condition. I have been the one who did all the things I could to minimize the chances of car theft or catalytic converter theft (both are huge in my city).

Long story short, he told me last Monday he was ready for it to be GONE and by Thursday I was shaking hands with a buyer. It's a HUGE relief and I'm so glad we didn't really have to butt heads and I didn't have to just take his keys. Parenting our parents is not for the faint-hearted that's for sure.

And I WON'T drink to celebrate (but I will celebrate )


Take care everyone - see you all tomorrow

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

We had sun & temps in the upper 50’s today, nice. Tomorrow is payback day with rain forecasted all day long haha.
Picked up my grandson from school this afternoon & he told me a story about a classmate, another 8th grader. He said the kid somehow was partying with a bunch of seniors 17-18 years old, there was a lot of drinking & the boy fell off a roof!!!!! He’s reported to be OK but can you just imagine? Geez. Will have to try to get more info on said party & find out who in hell supplied a bunch of teens with AL. That could have been a real disaster. They’re way too young. For that behavior.

Wags, as you already know I parented my parents & it was just so intense & awful. I think an angel was standing nearby you & your Dad. Great that the job is done & no feelings were hurt.
I’ll have to decide how I want to discuss the AL issue with this grandson. He’s just turned 14 & doesn’t seem to have any interest in drinking so far. His Dad is a firefighter/paramedic so he’s heard the stories about drinking & driving, etc. so young for such a serious issue.

Hello to the entire gang & I hope we hear from some missing nesters soon.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick check-in.
Suspected sighting of Mr G just now - in A****d St ��

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - I definitely am thanking the universe for the easy (sort of) way my dad gave up his car. I mean it was a hassle for me these past few years but I'm well aware it could've been much much worse. I guess that was one gift that I received from the covid lockdowns - my dad had nowhere to go so he stopped driving "temporarily" and that just never resumed. Whew! I know people whose elderly parents kept driving when they should not have, and accidents or tickets or other bad stuff happened. As for your g'son's friend - that is crazy but doesn't surprise me a ton. Lots of 13-15 year olds with older siblings get involved with things way before their peers do. Glad the kid is ok! That's the type of thing that can lead to tragedy.


Hellos and waves everyone. We're over the hump!

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening all, first time missing check in yesterday, just got caught up in work and some pre-birthday celebrations, visit to the zoo today - I always go for my birthday, had a wonderful day, heading to another zoo on Saturday - lucky in my area we're within a couple of hours of several good ones, really take fantastic care of their animals.

Lav - where I'm from (southern UK) teenagers that age and younger getting drunk and doing drugs is fairly standard behaviour, unfortunately. Some of them steal from parents, a lot will find older friends, or just ask a likely looking soul to grab them what they want from the shop in exchange for cash. A fair few folks I knew, myself included, also had parents who would supply them for parties, or just general use - myself and a friend were both alcoholics at 14/15, couple others were heavily into drugs at that age. Didn't think anything of it at the time.

Wags - sounds like a relief for you, but kudos to your father for keeping the car into his 90s. Have heard horror stories myself about some older drivers who should've been off the road, must be hard to give it up though.

Day 21 day, got a quit date set for Monday (fingers crossed) - get the birthday weekend out the way and get on the right track, hopefully.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Well we had a rain day just as forecasted. I still say it’s better than snow Lol

Battle, you have made 3 weeks, yay for you!! Be proud & keep going
Enjoy your birthday with a trip to the zoo, say goodbye AL & be grateful for a wonderful addiction free life, you’ll never be sorry! Happy Birthday to you!!

Steady, did you capture Mr G? Haha!!!

Wags, the worst one was my husband’s grandmother. She wouldn’t give up her car for anything or anyone. When we realized she was getting ‘lost’ driving from her home to our home in the neighboring town we had the Dept. of Transportation send her a letter stating she needed to come in for a new driver’s test because she was past a certain age. She knew she would pass any test & that’s when she handed the keys over, haha!!! I’m glad your experience was much nicer with your Dad, that was a good choice he made.

This whole thing about young teens obtaining alcohol & putting themselves in dangerous situations is certainly not new. It’s been a long time since our kids were that age & with us being a nurse & a cop they didn’t dare pull those stunts. This summer will be 20 years since our nephew died in a drunk driving accident, he had just gradated from high school, it was so sad. I will be having some heart to heart talks with my grandkids, they need to know the danger.
Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - I have huge empathy for what it might be like for aging folks to lose abilities and/or independence. I really tried to be compassionate as my dad gradually came to terms with this new chapter of life. Because he wasn't trying to drive, taking care of the car was mostly a labor of love, but I am SUPER relieved to have that off my plate! On a totally different note, I'm so sorry to hear that story about your nephew. I don't think I realized or remembered you'd lost him that way. Probably one of a parent's greatest fears when teens start driving. Sigh... yet another example of how al negatively impacts individuals, families and communities.

Battle - happy birthday weekend. Just take that "hopefully" out of the equation and start your quit. Of course easier said than done, but making Monday Day One is right there for the taking. I hope you have a great visit to the other zoo - that's such a great birthday tradition for yourself!

Happy Fridays (or almost) to everyone in the nest

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, Nesters! Today our [MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION] celebrates a dozen years of FREEDOM!! :woohoo2:

Congratulations, Byrdy, and thank you for everything including taking me under your wing until I was ready to fly. xx, NS

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Wags, parenting the aging parent is soul-sucking. My dad, at age 89, would NOT turn over his keys. We had an”intervention” that breaks my heart to this day (that was 10 years ago). He could barely walk, hard of hearing and legally blind in one eye, but insisted that he drive his wife to get her hair done. It was awful. I guess time took care of the situation, he passed a few months later. It’s just a situation to be endured.
Battle, great job on your quits. Today, I’m 12 years sober. My best advice is to listen to these nesters. Every nester has been there and done that. If you can imagine it, we have lived it. You may wonder why my date is so ordinary. I was aiming at Jan 1, but as you can see, AL ruled the day (Jan 1, 2010!). It was Jan 19, 2011, that my husband of 25 years, packed a bag and said he didn’t want to be married to a drunk. I had to make a decision and believe it or not, it was a tough one….him or AL. On this day 12 years ago, I got serious about getting sober and I listened to what these nesters said. I had to make it work. It was simple, but not easy. There is no day like today to make the decision. Tomorrow never comes in our world. Very proud of you for being here. You’ve got this!
I have taken up sewing! Yet again, Lav and NS are by my side. Glad they aren’t here to see me sewing the apron straps into a seam or sewing two pieces of fabric together backwards. I cut one piece of cloth 3 times and it was still too short! Ha! It’s fun when the sewing gods are with you. One stitch at a time, I guess!
So good to see everyone. It’s hard to express the gratitude I have for this nest. It absolutely changed my life. Lav, is my guardian angel. All I can say is no good ever came from AL. None. Thank you for giving me the tools I needed to succeed.
Byrdie

[Rahulthesweet]

Re: Newbies Nest

I came by today after months !

And I must say I am so lucky to see message from byrdlady ! Congralutations ! in these 12 years you have been a insipiration to me ! your every message and every though has helped me recover. I will be 9 year sober in Jan ! Thanks to you and tons of advice and support that came from me.

sorry to heard about the struggles you are having with your father. I wish him and you well !

Rahul

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Rahul AND Byrdie, on the same day?!? We are lucky Nesters! So happy to "see" your smiling faces!

12 is magical Byrdie! It is a number of completion - full circle, full victory. I am so happy I met you and the other Nesters - and I even got to meet you in person! What a difference you made to me and my quit. HUGE Hugs, well-wishes and lots of :heartbeat: to you!

Battle! 3 weeks is a great achievement! Keep heading in that direction! I do see some change here, in Colorado USA at least, with teenage drinking. It seems to be a little less of a "thing" - though maybe it's just my kids, since they have my drunk story on their minds

I am completely buried in work right now. Projects evolved to need it all at once and I must say that I'm pretty overwhelmed. I used to deal with it by drinking, and the thought does cross my mind. But mostly as a "thing I used to do". I don't like feeling like this, and need to rely on my other coping skills - like more sleep, exercise, baths, etc. It's constant, heavy pressure to produce - but taking breaks is ok. Other than that - career is good. I found out I am being published in two regional magazines. Still, I have been feeling like a bad designer lately. Probably just the struggling to keep up - and not being able to put full focus on each task because I feel spread thin. I've been here before though, and have to just get through it by doing one task at a time. It will balance out again someday

Wags, I like hearing your excitement with a new client that you like.

Hi to everyone. Have a great day.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like I’m here just in time to wish one of my former ‘students’ Byrdie a very Happy 12 year AF Anniversary!!!!
I am so proud & happy for you, you made the right decision & are living life just as i was meant to be lived!

Rahul, very nice to see you as well. I hope everything is going well for you!

NS, thanks for the heads up for Byrdie. What are you up to these days while winter is keeping us indoors?

Wags, looking back, I think these big life things we go thru with our parents likely contributed to my depression & subsequent attempt to drink it away. Feels stupid to say that now but I honestly wasn’t ready or prepared to take charge of my parent’s lives when I was just past 30 years old. I had my own young family, job, etc. It just broke me that my 3 brothers offered no assistance whatsoever. I am still alive & I managed to get thru it all but it was so difficult. I’m glad your Dad seems so much easier to manage.

Kensho, I’ve had that ‘One day at a time’ sentiment in my signature all these years because I finally realized that’s all we really can do. Take it easy on yourself, you have two hands, one mind & heart :hug:

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Byrdie!!! - [MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION] SO great to see you here in the nest so we can celebrate your dozen years of sobriety!!! I hope all is well with you and that you're enjoying your best life. Great to hear you've taken up sewing - what a fun and challenging skill/activity. I hope this coming 13th year brings you all the wonderful days you could hope for.

And Rahul - [MENTION=19781]Rahulthesweet[/MENTION] it's great to see you too! I am always so happy to see your beautiful mountain avatar.

Kensho - it can be overwhelming to have so many things come "due" at the same time. Fortunately, you have great tools for dealing with such stress. Congrats on the magazine coverage as well - that's very exciting. Take deep breaths and center yourself. You've got this and one day at a time (thanks Lav) is exactly the way to proceed.

Lav - Sorry to hear you had such a lot on your young shoulders at the age of 30. I can see how it would have driven you to drink and I'm SO glad you found your way out of that pit. Al tries to convince us it'll make things better or easier or less stressful and of course we all know those are lies. Similar to what you said, I resent that my brother offers no help as well. He does live 6 hours away and he's not equipped with even a shred of a "caregiver" gene, but sheesh! I hate that he doesn't even ask, or apologize, or effing thank me for all I do (and all I did for our mom especially in her last year with us). Ok, enough venting for now.


I got a third new student today and my roster is full again. I LOVE all 3 of my newbies - they have such positive attitudes and are super motivated. That's half the battle with this very difficult (often demoralizing) test. I am excited for my next 3-5 months of work with this crew on my weekly schedule. I hope the other parts of 2023 unfold equally well!

Happy weekends everyone!

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings, Nesters,

By way of explanation for my last post, it's not every day you spy a fellow My-Way-Out-er in the street! Wished I could've run out of the cafe I was in and said g'day to Mr G, but was eating lunch and on the phone at the same time! All I could think to do was post here.

Wow, lots of posts, from "new" Nesters and those who've been around a while. That's great!

Wags, I wonder what it is you teach. I'm sure you would have mentioned it before, but I'm an irregular poster & can't seem to remember. It sounds like you're loving it, anyway.

I started heavy drinking at 13 years old, and it horrifies me now to think what I was doing to my developing brain. No wonder I was a high-school drop-out. I have read that teens aren't as into alcohol now as they were back in the seventies, which is something.

Yes, elderly parents can be very tricky to deal with. My dear old doddery Dad was very reluctant to give up his licence when the time came. It pained me to see how sad he was to be losing this form of independence, but he was definitely a risk to himself and the community at large.

Great to see Byrdie here, and a warm congratulations on your 12 years, that's awesome!

stay strong and well everyone, love,
Steadfast x