Newbies Nest

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi y'all. Tried to quote and then gave it up.

This is a nest for newbies, right? And I'm no newbie. But it feels safe here. To talk about the things we struggle with, regardless of what they are. And I know for sure, since I'm not a newbie, that it's incredibly difficult to post about stuff that makes us incredibly uncomfortable. As an example, I started to post on a different thread about how freeing it was to admit about my addiction to online poker, and I couldn't admit it there. On my own thread!!

Here's another thing. The way some of you talk about being free from the compulsion of alcoholism is profound and what I found from taking baclofen. I took it for granted. I stopped taking baclofen, and the compulsion returned... I've never really related to the people in this thread who found freedom without medication. But I'm so grateful to hear your stories, and return to your previous posts over the years.

Battle, I hope you'll keep posting. I'm hoping that by doing it myself, I'll find the freedom the others have found...

Kensho, your last post is the one I most wanted to quote. I'm pretty attached to my hair. Like, it sorta defines me in a way I'm not comfortable with, in some ways. If people admire it, I'm self-conscious. If people don't admire it, I'm annoyed. (insert appropriate embarrassment emoji here). I've been seeing the same stylist for more than a decade now, and he just doesn't give a hoot about making my 'do the right way anymore. And he costs a fortune. In his defense, I haven't cared about my looks in way too long. But I haven't gotten my hair cut in a long time because...why bother. And also, if he's not going to do it right, I'm not going to pay him to do it, when he doesn't really care about it either. I guess the point is, that the discomfort you're feeling, I can relate. We're in very different places, and very different phases, but I'm so grateful that you're posting about what you're going through.

And also for the profound wisdom on here. Thank you all for continuing to share.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - absolutely, support without judgment is all yours (same for everyone else too!). Sounds like you're really struggling and yet here you are being honest and continuing to tick things off your list. We might not be psychics here, but we can for sure tell you "It will pass" (it always does, even if we aren't controlling the pace). Take it one day, one hour, one task or step in a task at a time. I'm sorry to hear about your hair. I'm sure that feels worse when you're already down. I used to have super easy "wash n wear" hair that I could cut by myself in a pinch and it would still look pretty good. As my hair has turned increasingly gray over the past several years, it has decided it has a mind of its own. It has been interesting to come to terms with how much of my identity and self-image was tied to hair I never thought much about. I know it's not the same as you're describing, but I guess I wanted to express that I get how it's not "just hair". Sounds like Neva Eva can relate as well. Sending you hugs :hug:

Battle - that's such a bummer about your funding and it sounds like a really rough loss. Please don't let it derail you. Giving up drinking doesn't make life easier (you know that) but drinking DOES make life harder (you know that too). Any reprieve or relief al tries to claim is a lie. Now is when you really show up for yourself.

Neva - this nest is amazing isn't it? I feel like it's my very best online community (I'm only in a few but this one is tops).

Hellos and waves to NS, Lav, G, Ava, Steady, Slo, (Belle? LC? we miss you and hope you're doing well!)

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ne, I switch stylists each time I sense that mine has slipped into mindlessly doing the same thing over and over. I have thick, curly hair that has to be cut dry and not combed or brushed. It behaves differently depending on humidity so a winter cut doesn’t work in summer. The guy I’m currently with seems to “get it”. I’m really hoping he doesn’t retire anytime soon!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm not southern, but Y'ALL are great. Thank you.

Today is feeling much better. I've made some progress, and feel less overwhelmed. AND THE SUN IS SHINING! I have to remember that every February, I feel a bit low. I'm used to the occasional low vibe, but it's been a hard couple weeks. Thank you all for your kindness and support!!

Wags - hair is hair, but it feels really good to present how we identify ourselves. Like the clothes we choose.

Tuesday, I'm going in for a "hair fix" or at least for them to show me how they propose I style this monstrosity. And I should complete my billing this weekend. So there is reason to celebrate. My husband has been feeling high anxiety and stress as well - so I am proposing we have breakfast for dinner and watch a movie - comfort.

NS, I do consider you all friends and appreciate you very much. How is retirement going?

LAV, hope you're doing ok. Sending healthy vibes your way.

Neva, some of us aren't newbies any more, but we sure welcome old and new or just new to the nest. It is a safe place to land. I think that the compulsion to drink fades with time, but also with finding replacements to it. Filling the holes that drinking left - and just being willing to feel terrible at times and let it pass - allowed me to see alcohol for what it was - a sickening bandaid. It actually caused me to feel so much worse than the things I actually had to deal with. I tried Naltrexone at one point, but it just made me feel numb. It wasn't a fit for me, but I know meds can be really helpful for some people.

Battle, I'm sorry you didn't get your funding. What are you studying? You seem pretty bright. I firmly believe that there are multiple roads we can take to the same destination. You will find your way.

G - where you at - our resident Nest Guru? How are the Eastern studies going?

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

Kensho, i hope they fix your hair. i havent had a cut for over a year and my daughter is a hair dresser! She is though coming over tonight for our family video viewing of past years so i am hopeful, if not it will stay in a pony tail or bun. I have lost most motivation for work atm, the new PA is brilliant but i still have a high workload and i have told my boss i want a better work/life balance, i'm 59 this year and i want to be one of those public servants that just turn up for work, gets paid and goes home and looks busy, ha ha.

Have mum down for the weekend so a house full of dogs again, my Gucci who has cancer is deteriorating and after visiting the vets the other day she doesnt think she has long, so its just pain relief and love really. Carl is getting on with crate life but i can now take him for wee walks for 10 minutes so will start walking him up the end of the street and back.

Battle sorry to hear you didnt get your grant and relapsed. life sux sometimes and you think you will never get ahead but you will. Navigating sober is hard, doing lifey stuff is hard but at some stage it becomes doable.

neva, i love the nest, its my safe place and where i can download without worrying that i will be judged. I used to love online poker, was crap at it also but was just mind numbing at the end of the day, played online pokies but now just play my candy crush. i dont really have much time now for some reason to do much other than work and dogs.

Going to enjoy my cuppa and then get ready for the feeding frenzy and take mum out for a coffee and wander. My daughter moves back home in a couple of weeks, i dont feel my happiness level is at an all time high but it is what it is.

Glad to see everyone is doing well. take care xx

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Well I do have Covid, had + test this morning. Can’t believe we got by the last 3 years without any infections. Guess it’s just out turn.

Great to see everyone checking on today. I’ll pot more tomorrow when hopefully my head isn’t pounding so much.
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Mulburry]

Re: Newbies Nest

AND THE SUN IS SHINING!

This can make such a big difference can't it? I'm always amazed at how (most) people just go about their day like it's all the same weather it's raining or sunny; whereas my moods change so dramatically with the weather. The winter is always tough to get through, not only the lack of daylight but all that dark gloomy rainy weather (at least here that's the predominant pattern).

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - I'm so sorry to hear that you have covid. How are you feeling so far? Will you be taking Paxlovid or whatever it's called? I've heard that can help, but also maybe increases the chances of a rebound second case. With your medical background and connections, I hope you've got the very best info, resources and strategies. Sending you healing energy :hug:

Kensho and Mulburry - I'm totally with you that having sunshine is a HUGE positive!!! We had a mild sunny day here today as well, and my wife and I just made up any excuses we could think of to be outdoors. It's a real mood boost, especially this time of year.

Ava - here's hoping you get that haircut from your daughter!


Hellos and waves everyone hanging out in the nest this weekend. Thanks for making this such a special place :heartbeat:

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters,

We’re doing OK here in the Covid household. From what I’m hearing this current variant is much different from the original so the symptoms are as well. The chief complaint has been headache, runny nose & fatigue. I’ve had all three of those haha. My husband is 99% sure he picked up the virus in the Amish community last week because they’re all sick & just keep going about business as usual. I printed several articles for them at the beginning of the pandemic so they could protect themselves somewhat. They haven’t gotten any vaccines & have had several deaths that they attributed to ‘old person dying with a cold’. You can’t teach people anything if they don’t want to learn.

Wags, we talked to one doc & he said Paxlovid won’t help with these symptoms but to call back if we have chest pain or shortness of breath, Lol. I think we’ll just go to the ER in that case.
We also had some sun & a high of 46 today woo hoo!!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, I’m so sorry you have Covid. That stinks. I hope you improve quickly!
Yes, the nest is salve for the soul. I appreciate the very intimate nature of this place. It’s wonderfully comforting to be accepted as we are, in whatever place we find ourselves.
Mulberry, I am sure I could withstand an accidental sip, but I’m not sure, in fact, I’m darned sure, I couldn’t withstand a glass of X. After that first sip, I’d be choosing to continue instead of it being a mistaken sip. Knowing how my addicted mind works, well, I think I’d get the “might as wells”. Additionally, I have seen it happen here 1000 times, so I hope I’ve learned enough to not have to find that out the hard way. I just don’t have another quit in me. I’ve worked too hard for this one. I am uber vigilant about what I drink when I’m away from home. I know me, and if I coukd have controlled it the first time, I would have. My mantra in those early days was…sips lead to slips and slips lead to falls. This is just me, I just can’t take that chance. So far, so good!
Kenso, I hope you can get your hair sorted out. Boy, I get that one. Good luck!
Battle, I’m so sorry about your grant. That just sucks. Nothing I can say will take the sting out of that. Hugs to you.
It’s a foul night out, whipping winds, rain and cold. A good night to stay in.
Wishing everyone a cozy night in the nest. Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Howdy folks. Just are out with the dam and the bill came up. I did the math and I’ve saved $13,000 in the 5 years I’ve not had a drink!! That’s so cool.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - a good friend of ours just tested + for covid 2 days ago and her symptoms sound very different from yours and I think she's on Paxlovid. However, she's on the west coast (U.S), so maybe regionally different strains are more prevalent? Regardless, I hope you have an easy time of it and you recover quickly. That's such a huge bummer about the Amish, both for them within their community and for those they interact with outside of their community.

Byrdie - great to see you! Hope you are doing well these days.

Kensho - that's an amazing amount of money to have saved. I should make the same calculation (even a conservative one) - I'm at just over 6.5 years right now. Hmmm...


Hellos and waves everyone. Hope the weekend is treating you all well.

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

G - where you at - our resident Nest Guru? How are the Eastern studies going?

Yo friend Kensho. I haven't been able to do ANYTHING with my hair. So....I went to Harry's hair salon for the latest style -

Toupe.jpeg

Lav, hope y'all get well soon.

Surf's up.

[Mulburry]

Re: Newbies Nest

Mulberry, I am sure I could withstand an accidental sip, but I’m not sure, in fact, I’m darned sure, I couldn’t withstand a glass of X. After that first sip, I’d be choosing to continue instead of it being a mistaken sip. Knowing how my addicted mind works, well, I think I’d get the “might as wells”. Additionally, I have seen it happen here 1000 times, so I hope I’ve learned enough to not have to find that out the hard way. I just don’t have another quit in me. I’ve worked too hard for this one. I am uber vigilant about what I drink when I’m away from home. I know me, and if I coukd have controlled it the first time, I would have. My mantra in those early days was…sips lead to slips and slips lead to falls. This is just me, I just can’t take that chance. So far, so good!

I guess for me one drink never did much for me (have a naturally high tolerance I guess) so I put it almost in the same category as few sips (ie wouldn't have enough impact to effect my judgement etc.). That being said, I'm not saying it's a good idea, my point was just about the stereotype that everyone would instantly turn back into a raging alcoholic after a tiny amount.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Feeling much improved today, yay! Thanks everyone!
I guess we were lucky to get this milder strain.

Mulburry, it’s amazing how much ignorance there is in the general population about drinking disorders. Just proves that education is needed on the topic for everyone.

G, how’s the new hair? Haha.

Wags, I imagine there could be different variants on your ned of the country. Something to keep us on our toes for sure. I just wish these Amish folks would at least read the material given to them & be willing to have a bit of an open mind but they refuse. Everything that happens in their community is “God’s will’ & I call BS on that. A tiny bit of education would make a huge difference. I hope your friend gets better quickly.

Kensho, congrats on the Savings $$. I spent most of mine on my grandkids & was very proud!

Byrdie, good to see you. Glad to see we still have very similar thinking about AL

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav