Newbies Nest

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Battle - great job staying AF, but sorry to hear about your pain. I feel for you and I can relate due to similar experiences. I hope you're able to find something that brings you relief soon.

Lav - cloudy here too, and maybe a snowstorm later this week. Ready for Spring!


Had a good productive day here, got several major things off my to-do list, and feeling a bit less overwhelmed. I also joined a group for people who are "parenting aging parents" and I think that'll be good support to have.

Here's hoping we all have great weeks ahead!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Every time you make it through a challenge like this, Battle, you're stronger than before. When some stress comes up you can look back and think, well I didn't drink when I was going crazy from pain and this isn't worse than that, so I know I don't have to drink. Hang in there. xx

Wags, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. We lost my mom mentally slowly over several years but especially over the last 3. It was a very long good-bye and it is hard and heartbreaking. Enjoy the moments when you can really connect with him. Towards the end I finally realized the best thing for me to do was just enter her world and stay there in the moment with her with no expectation she would remember anything we talked about. I forced myself not to suggest by my face or words that she had just told me something for the fifth time but tried to respond appropriately (surprise, dismay, agreement, whatever) each time as if it were the first time I heard it. I hope it was good for her for us to interact this way and I know it was good for me.

TJ, it still blows my mind that accountability to some people I met online and didn't even know by their real names was finally the thing that worked. Being a people-pleaser, I didn't want to disappoint those who had invested so much time and me. Those attachments helped me get to the place where I could be accountable to myself. Later, when I tried to help people, I was motivated not to be a hypocrite who said one thing and did another. These connections really matter.

We had a bunch of family drama this weekend and I always seem to get in the middle of it b/c I'm the one they tell (some more nicely than others) what is wrong. I was grateful to be in my right mind, not saying something I would regret later or trying to fix things that I can't fix. Yesterday I went w/ a friend to a consignment shop and found a tee shirt that said: Today I'll be talking only to my dog. I'll be wearing it strategically from now on!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We did have some quick rain today with the possibility of damaging winds. Nothing like that happened here but a tornado did some damage in NJ, sad. Such a strange winter we’ve had & now those crazy spring/summer storms are starting up, geez.

Battle, sure hope you get the help you need soon. Nerve pain is the worst. Take good care of yourself :hug:

Wags, it’s always nice to find support, online or in person. Sharing ideas can be very helpful as we all know. Sending you loads of strength for you & your dad.

NS, so you are the family ‘sin eater’? I’ve been in that position myself, still am to a certain extent. I always shake my head & wonder WHY people just don’t take care of their own sh*t & leave me out of their messes. Love the T shirt idea, maybe I should stitch that on some pillows too . Protect your energy & don’t let yourself be drawn into the drama of others.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: Newbies Nest

Don't envy you NS - that used to be my job - no family for 5 years now, its peaceful.

Contacted GP this morning, they'll either call, text or email me on Thursday to either talk to me or tell me what they're gonna do, half the time its not what i want and I have to do another form and wait another 3 working days and hope the do-over is better. In the mean time pain continues. Gotta make sure I'm able to answer the phone any time they call between 9-6, pain in the ass with work/driving/life.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

NS - love the shirt! Thanks for sharing how things went with your mom over her last few years. I can't imagine my dad living even one more year. Like, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want that at all.

Hellos and waves to Lav and Battle and everyone else stopping by the nest.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Love the term 'sin-eater' :excitement:. The thing is, everyone seems to think it is the others that have sinned! Whiny victims totally wear me out. And the inability to look at things from someone else's perspective baffles me. I am getting better at stating outright that I'm not getting in the middle. Battle, I told my husband that I wanted to move to Hawaii. And failing that, I wanted to get Covid and have to be ISOLATED. (Luckily, I'm out of my funk!)

Wags, I know my mom would not have chosen to live as she did the last few years of her life. I joke (sort of) to friends that I wish we were all issued 1 cyanide pill to use when needed. She would have taken hers years ago. At least I was able to convince my dad and sister that we shouldn't allow heroic measures to extend her life. I hope your dad is at peace during however much more time he has.

I woke up to a thunderstorm this morning. Very odd here. It should be snowing instead. And apparently it is snowing in southern CA, where it essentially never snows. Weird world these days.

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: Newbies Nest

Going through some stuff right now, having to type this with one hand, my left arm is a whole mess and I've still got the early-sobriety insomnia - 3 hours sleep, a lot of painkillers and one working arm/hand, I'm still AF but pretty out of it - not by choice, I'd be non-functional without, nerve pain is a vicious thing. Stressing about getting another prescription sent to the doctor tomorrow, trying to make sure I'm available to take a phone call - they said they'd have a prescription for at least more of the same pain meds for me today but it didn't materialise, the stress is making it worse. I went through it before, a whole year with one arm working, miserable experience, pretty much imploded, went to some real dark places, don't want to end up back there again. I'm in a better place besides the injury than I was last time but this is a nasty trigger for me.

[TJAF]

Re: Newbies Nest

Battle, ask your doctor about gabapentin for nerve pain.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

We had rain then sun today & tomorrow a weirdly high temp of 73 degrees predicted, just crazy.

Battle, really sorry about the chronic nerve pain. That must be a real trigger for you. Our healthcare systems are so different but over here we would be referred to a pain clinic for appropriate treatment. Our primary car docs don’t the specialized training to manage chronic pain without getting people addicted to narcotics I’m afraid. I sure hope you get a response very soon.

Wags, as long as your dad is comfortable & safe there’s not much else you can do for him. I pity the older folks going through end of life issues with no help from family. Everyone deserves a comfortable ending :hug: take care of you as well.

NS as humans we all have our limits & can only take on so much. We burn out when the family dramas keep coming. That’s half the reason why we moved away 20 years ago to try to find some peace & insist people handle their own problems. I have to say that move pretty much did the trick Instead of moving just try saying NO when the drama comes knocking!!

TJ, I agree, Gabapentin is the drug of choice for chronic nerve pain here in the uS. I think they also use it in the UK.
Hope you’re doing well.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: Newbies Nest

TJ and Lav - As a former pharm tech of 13 years I would pick up a drink before I'd touch Gabapentin - trust me, the more research they do, the worse that drug looks, it'll carry a black box warning before long. It's effective but they have already increased the schedule of CD it is in this country and other places are moving to ban/limit prescribing. The side effects are not good and definitely not advisable for someone with a history of opiate use.

[Mulburry]

Re: Newbies Nest

TJ and Lav - As a former pharm tech of 13 years I would pick up a drink before I'd touch Gabapentin - trust me, the more research they do, the worse that drug looks, it'll carry a black box warning before long. It's effective but they have already increased the schedule of CD it is in this country and other places are moving to ban/limit prescribing. The side effects are not good and definitely not advisable for someone with a history of opiate use.

Are you talking about gabapentin's physical addictiveness (dependence) or something else? Even though it was suggested by docs, I was really hesitant to use it for PAWS/anti-craving because I didn't want to develop a dependance on a another substance and have to start getting off that all over again.

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Battle, Lav & TJ - living in pain and trying to manage pain are pretty much horrible no matter how you slice it. I hope your Dr comes through for you Battle. It sounds like the Rx you're awaiting is at least somewhat helpful for you?

Mulberry - a Dr recommended a couple of things to me too when I quit drinking (although I don't think Gabapentin was one of them) and I took the tiniest amount for the fewest doses out of that same fear of developing a dependence on something else and then have to quit/withdraw from *that* too.

NS - I have loads of family in SoCal and they are pretty stunned by the weather. I remember growing up there and hearing almost a legend of the "great L.A. snowfall of 1942" or something similar, but I think this might be the first snow that's more than a trace since then. Of course the mountains get snow every year but the metro Los Angeles area is largely sea level and has a mediterranean climate, so this is super strange.


Hanging in there here in Wagland. Knot officially tied and not letting go of the rope. We got about 10 inches (24-25 cm) of snow here today. Not as rare as snow in L.A. but still not common!

Take care everyone and see you tomorrow!

[Battle_for_the_sun]

Re: Newbies Nest

Still having a hell of a time trying to sort out pain stuff - getting bounced from doctor to doctor, nobody wants to prescribe or listen to me about what I want/need. It's so stressful and tiring and I'm so spaced out all the time I hate it. I don't know what to do if this carries on its getting me so goddamn now it's a miracle I'm not drinking, only upside of being doped up is I don't think about it as much, unfortunately it's hard to think of much at all - expired pain pills and sleep deprivation are true enemies of studying. Gonna try and get an earlier night, have to be up early to call my GP surgery again to try again to get a decently useful prescription. So sick of all of this now.

Mulburry - it's addictive, its commonly used recreationally to enhance the effects of opiates (bad idea for an addict to make the thing you're addicted to better at doing its job), and long term can cause problems with cardiac and cognitive functioning, as well as screwing up your metabolism. I see no point in kicking alcohol, attempting to kick painkillers, and then ending up on something just as bad.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

We had the lovely 71 degree sunny weather today but winter will be returning quickly. I hear about all the snow the rest of the country has been getting but nothing here at all, so strange.

Battle, I was used to seeing Neurologists order Neurontin for their hospitalized patients. Never noted any immediate side effects but don’t know how they faired once they went home. I sure hope yuo can get something worked out very soon. Good job not drinking

Wags, 10” is a pretty good snowfall wherever you are. Hope you can stay home & stay warm enough.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[TJAF]

Re: Newbies Nest

Battle, I only suggested you talk to your doc. i never suggest any drug for any purpose without the caveat that you discuss the use of that drug with a medical professional. My wife has chronic nerve pain and neurotic (gabapentin) has been extremely effective. you're correct, you shouldn't use this drug in combination with opiods or alcohol. Sounds like you already have a course of drugs that you and your doc, worked out hope you find a solution. Chronic pain is the pits