Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Wags, I’m sorry to hear about your Dad. I know how rough it can be dealing with those situations.
I hope you get all the assistance you need, be sure the hospital social workers are aware of his needs. Thinking of you :hug:

NS, living the dream here too just like you :hyper:

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
I recently passed my 14th AF anniversary on the 26th. A good plan & a solid commitment will take you far, I promise :heartbeat:

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for all the support and well wishes. I was able to bring my dad home this afternoon, and we're taking things a few hours at a time. He had a pretty bad UTI and was experiencing delirium, which set in extremely suddenly, like in a matter of hours. He's still on a bit of a mental roller coaster but definitely better than 2.5 days ago. The Dr also suspects dementia, which I agree with. Unfortunately he doesn't have a primary care physician so we have to find one and get that whole process started. Sigh, I know several of you are well aware but this whole "parenting an aging parent" is a very difficult chapter in life!

NS - a few other people have mentioned hospice as well. My only experience with them was in the last 6 weeks or so of my mom's life, and they were wonderful - for her AND for the rest of us. I didn't realize until you and my other friends mentioned it that it's now possible to begin hospice before a person reaches that "6 months to live" point. I'm definitely going to look into it.

Lav - huge congrats on your


14 Years!!!

That's so awesome. Your whole life has been better for that decision 14+ years ago and we ALL benefit from it as well.


Hellos and waves everyone. Hope your weeks all wrap up nicely for each and every nester.

[STEADFAST]

Re: Newbies Nest

Warm greetings, Nesters,

Wags, I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with now. It was very painful witnessing my folks get old, and both had dementia by the time they passed away. I'm sure your Dad takes comfort from your caring. Look after yourself in all this, too.

Congratulations Lavande, on your 14 years of sobriety! Thankyou for all you do here. Long may you live the dream! :heartbeat:

Keeping busy with English tutoring and refugee support at a couple of organisations, socialising, appreciating the autumn weather and talking back to my less productive thoughts (not out loud!)

peace to all,
Steady
x

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

Mum home and seems back to normal, she has to have a 24 hour heart monitor so dr is organising that. i have applied for home care to see what services are available. dogs are doing well and i think this is the first week in a long time i have not had a trip to the vets or emailed the vets or rang the vets.

Wags, sorry to hear about your dad, i hope you can get the services you need also. Its sad to see them deteriorating. Take care of you also.

Lav, happy 14th sober birthday, that is a wonderful number.

my son and his friend gave up drinking for 2 months and then decided the would be the only people on earth that could modify their drinking. mmm guess what has happened? I am sure if that theory worked we would all be moderating. i am hoping they see how good those last two months were and stop again but apparently i "nag" so i cant say anything. Funny but i dont say anything as i dont want to seem as if i am on my high horse advising on not drinking. My son was talking about going camping and i said i would go as it would be fun without them drinking but i wont be going if they are. No tolerance.

Oh G, not sure if i can do park yoga but hey i can do anything once! it would be lovely to catch up for lunch again with you both and i want to go to "the tree of life" to check out their clothes. Kill two birds with one stone. after easter might be best.

Steady, you are definitely busy too, amazing how sobriety gives us so much freedom to do what we can. I definitely agree on anxiety sober being much more doable. i was taking xanax at the end of my drinking career, just to get to and through work. Not a shit load but i cringe that i blamed work on my anxiety and not drinking.

Battle, keep checking in, being accountable is one of the main tools in sobriety. Even if its to just write one line.

Well bed time here, take care xxx

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good to see you, Ava. I love waking up to posts by you and Steady and Mr G, written while I was asleep!

Lav, I'm sorry we missed your re-birthday! You are so solidly AF, I think we might take that/you for granted. But none of us should do that for ourselves or one another! It is a commitment that has to be refreshed because so often, the path of least resistance would be to drink. That is the thing that makes me concerned for people who drift away (unless they have another source of reminder and support). Anyway, congratulations and thank you for watching out for all of us here. xx

[techie]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just a quick hello hoping everyone is well!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

We had a sunny but chilly day here, nice but still not like real Spring. I guess I just want too much, Lol
Thanks for your words everyone, I truly appreciate them. Checking in here daily only takes a few minutes & has been one of my best tools.

Wags, infections in the elderly can cause lots of unrelated symptoms like your Dad is experiencing. He definitely needs a Geriatric specialist, someone knowledgeable in that area. There’s also Geriatric psychiatrists who can better medicate them when they are acting out & confused. So sorry you are dealing with this, I know it’s hard. Take care of yourself too :hug:

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks to all for the ongoing support. Just a quick sober check-in for me tonight. I'm exhausted!

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hang in there, Wags, and remember to take care of YOU as well as you're taking care of your dad. xx

Thanks for stopping by, Techie. We need all the visitors we can get to keep this thread alive!!

Well, Lav, we could talk about our crafting here but we might scare away even more nesters :haha:.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Honestly NS, it was never my intention to scare anyone away, bore them half to death maybe :allgood:
Waiting for another weekend of rain here so I guess I’ll get back to the indoor projects & that’s OK.

Wags, thinking of you & hope you are managing. OK. Is your Dad in any pain or is it more of an anxiety thing going on with him? Don’t be afraid to reach out to for help, it’s out there, you just need to speak up :hug:

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

HIYA Nest. I'm still breathing and working my butt off - had a frustrating day of trying and trying and not making actual progress. I actually said to my daughter tonight, "If I was still drinking, it would be a drinking night". I'm not sure why I told her that. But I did feel it. Instead, I put on some dance music and we danced down the highway. It helped. Now I'm going to try to get a couple drawings figured out. I struggle with the creative process at times. It's like a 25-wordle (not quordle) for each room - so many pieces that have to fit together. I probably overthink it.

Anyhow, sorry to hear about your dad Wags. That must be really stressful, on top of an already full life that you have. Your love for him is evident, and I am sending good vibes your way! Take care of you!

Steady - you sound so balanced and happy. Love to hear that tone in your voice!

Hi Ava. I "nag" too, evidently, but about food. My kids eat terribly and they don't want to know the truth about the crap they consume. I'm all for "live a little"... but you can tell when someone WANTS to be in denial.

Lav, keep the good life going... I'm so glad you got sober and are always here. I feel so comforted by your words. Thank you for that.

Hi NS!

OK... I know it's Friday night, but I am not sure how everything is going to get done. So I'm going to put in a solid 30 min. then call it quits.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Kensho - great to see you. I love that you chose music and dancing instead of drinking (of course you did cuz you don't drink). You sound very busy and I hope you're able to get that giant wordle solved!

NS - I love hearing about the crafts that you and Lav and others do. I'm not crafty at all but my mom and grandma both were and I have fond feelings for hand-made things.

Techie - glad to see you stopping by!

Lav - My dad isn't in any pain and he doesn't seem anxious anymore (pre-hospital yes, or maybe more like agitated). It's more that he's confused but inconsistently. Like tonight I heated up some leftover pizza that my wife made specially for him the first night he was back home. When I told him she had made it, he seemed to totally understand and said "please tell her it was delicious". This is very similar to how he used to be. But just a minute or two later he asked, "Do I have a family?" and my heart broke just a tiny bit. He has been sleeping a TON, like about 20 of the 24 hours in each of the last few days. I'm hoping he's just exhausted and his body is working hard to get over the infection. But I honestly don't know what version of him will be here when this has passed, and the roller coaster is pretty draining for me. I have to mostly think one day at a time (hey, that sounds familiar!) and not get too caught up in trying to figure everything out now.


There's no effing way I could drink and survive this chapter of my life. I guess that's a bright side!

Take care everyone.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey, Wags, I have had so many experiences over the last 10 years where I've had that exact thought- there's no way I could do this if I were still drinking. It makes me wonder how I handled things in the 10 years of addicted drinking before I quit and I've decided that I probably really didn't. I think I probably ignored a lot of things and when I was involved, was definitely not the adult in charge. Worse yet, I may have contributed to the problem. Isn't it great to have those days behind us?!?!

Highway dancing sounds much better than drinking, Kensho, and I bet your openness with your daughter is good for both of you. Maybe it will make it easier to share some uncomfortable things with you.

My dad was concerned about the hours that my mom slept, Wags, but if they are at ease during sleep, it seems to me that is the body doing what it needs to do. The more time he can be at peace, whether awake or asleep, the better for him, I think. And better for you not to worry about him being confused, bored, angry, or agitated.

Lav, I've got some projects to do because we've had the downstairs repainted and now need some differently colored accessories. So, the fabric hunt is on...

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters,

Just wanted to take a moment to say Hello. We are currently in the basement waiting out a tornado warning. I just can’t take these things lightly after seeing what’s happened down south & the mid-west.
Hope to be back tomorrow for a proper chat.

Be safe in the nest one and all!

Lav

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

Lav, i hope you are safe. I just look at the tv in disbelief when i see what the destruction is that a tornado brings. it is so heartbreaking to see. We dont get tornadoes here although we do get cyclones in other regions of Australia.

Hi Techie, glad to see you pop in, i keep up to date with your exercise antics (lol) on the army thread, i hope you are keeping well.

Wags, that is so stressful for you and knowing there is nothing you can do but be there which is the most important part.

NS, hope the painting has finished for you. how is your dad now? is he still at home?

Kensho, when you said "tonight would be a drinking night", every night was a drinking night for me. i do remember back in the day i had a specific day that i would drink (when the kids were little) and each week i would drink on that day, i think it was a Tuesday as that was the quietest day of the week. Wish i had of realised then that i was headed for bigger things!

I have been pottering today, daylight savings ended last night so the dogs were up early this morning. I am ready for my nap but have made a casserole in my pressure cooker which is a slow cooker, rice cooker, yoghurt maker, cake maker, all of which i wont use. started to go through my drawers in the bedroom, i need a big cull. two drawers of stockings, well i would have needed them if i was going into work 5 days a week but not now. i start on something and then move on, house looks like a bomb hit it but i will get there eventually. no rush.

Fur babies all doing well, finally Bindi's diabetes is under control, she would still eat the floor boards if i had any and she can sniff the other dogs food a mile off. Gucci is still going ok with her cancer, she has good days and not so good days, the cbd oil helps a lot. Carl has one more week before he can start being more active. Bob wants to play zoomies with him in the back yard and carl thinks its a great idea, mmmm, me not so much yet.

take care xx