Newbies Nest

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Hey IP-yep this heatwave is going to be horrible and it's only day 1!! I've been inside most of the day after going on errands and I did catch up on the 3 online DW lessons that I was behind on. I can't believe it's almost 5pm!! Don't even want to think about dinner in this heat. Guess I'll go with a salad.
Hey Sunni-you sure are a busy bee! Hope the permits come through!!

Hey MollyK-I go back to work tomorrow after a 4 day weekend and I could cry!! I hate it!! And to boot-because of our dumbass facilities director, we made a deal with the utility company that if we go over a certain unit of energy, our AC goes off all over campus!! Won't that be nice tomorrow and the rest of the week when the temps get up in the high 90s!! I for one will leave the office and work from home if that happens and if my boss doesn't like it, he can go feck himself. I'd rather be on unemployment right now anyway (well, not really but I'm not going to risk even more bad health due to some idiot taking going green to the extreme). Gosh, I'm getting myself all riled up and it hasn't even happened yet!!

I keep having these thoughts to go back to drinking these days. It's almost like I want to punish myself for my body betraying me. It's maddening really. Not really cravings. It's hard to explain. I guess its part of the anger. Thank god I don't want to wake up with a hangover so I'll be laying a sober head on my pillow again tonite. Sorry to be a broken record right now. I just don't have anyone else to talk to and rant and rave at right now. I feel like I'm in a huge void called limbo.

Going to let the boyz out-maybe turn on the sprinkler and we'll all run through it.

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

I'm about to leave the library and go home. I've enjoyed being around here today and getting to know everyone. I do have a favor...will someone please post after me. Like I said, I'm about to go home...and you know what time it is. It will take so much for me to go to the computer rather than grabbing a beer or pouring a glass of wine. I want to make lemon water and get on the computer. I can do this, I know I can. Someone please post...it's such a comfort. Really..... Okay, driving home, making water with lemon, check MWO forum, feel better, snuggle children and hubs. I can do it, I'm pretty positive!

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Hey Classic-I'm here!! Hope you've got that lemon water in hand. Sorry I didn't post sooner-got side tracked with dinner.

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

Yeah! Thank you! Thank you!! I've had two lemon waters and I'm feeling like I'm gonna finish the day AF.....so happy!

[Pie]

Newbies Nest

You go, aclassicgirl!!

Pie
your bud in the lone star state

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Hey folks - sorry I haven't been around much today. But, I'm still here. I will be back in a bit but just wanted to let everyone know that there are people out here. :h:h:h:h

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

Classic....
I am here too!!!
Hi Nora...how are you doing sweetie????
I wanna see a new picture of the grand peanut Sunshine!!!!
I am sitting here watching the Intervention marathon....good stuff that really makes you think
I am two weeks or so on Bac...feel good so far and I think it's been about a week since I have had a drink.....
nite all..will check in tomorrow....
no...i'll keep lurking for classic girl!!!

[mama bear]

Newbies Nest

Prancy....a fire?????? Jeez
you and rebirth keep me motivated!!!!
so does everyone else....

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Hi Mama - glad to hear that the Bac is helping. I am feeling human again. I honestly was at my wit's end but I am coming out of the fog. Changed the anti-depressant and started hormones on Saturday. It's only been 3 days but I am feeling a difference. Thank goodness. I was at the end of my rope. I will be starting the alcohol fight again 100% soon. Right now, I am not pressuring myself too hard but I'm doing better. I want to go AF for a month or 2 though so that is my next goal.
Thank you all for being here for me. :l:h

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

Awesome, Pie! Thanks! Thank you too Mama, I'm sure you had a great day at the lake! Day one, Wow! Day two is sure to be a doosie...probably shouldn't think about it. Weakness number one, I over-think crap like crazy!!! Praying for a decent nights sleep...
Thank you all for today..."see" you in the morning!

[rebirth]

Newbies Nest

Morning aclassicgirl. Well done for not drinking last night! You will find that once you are sober for a while your over thinking will calm down. Since my sobriety I have had less overthinking. Well if I still do overthink it's more positive than negative. I no longer think about the damage I am doing to my health, the progressive damage to my relationships, my career. It's all good!

Hey rusty High five! We are getting the same benefits by abstaining. Isnt it great?!!!

Moyylka I am always grateful for the people who share their experiences when they have a relapse because it shows me that I will always have to fight my addiction and never be complacent. You tried again after a month. I fear that its would be months and months for me to try again. Scary stuff.

Mama bear, pie, norac Hello to you! x

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Evening my friends,
Pap - rant and rave all you like. We all need it occassionally and you know it is safe here to do so.
Rebirth - You are so right. Alcohol IS such a lie! It tricked me into believing that my life was better before when I was drinking. That I could do things with alcohol that I couldnt do without it. And this was after I had stopped for five months! It still had a hold on me..... Luckily I get more out of this site and the people here than I ever did with alcohol. So when I drank again a few weeks ago, I knew this was the place to come back to, these people here give me so much more than alcohol ever did.
I do regret that I cant celebrate six months tomorrow, but I have stopped counting now. Because I wont drink again so I dont need to know how many days in between drinks any more.
Aclassicgirl - you might have to develop a new addiction for a while.... coming here when you need to. Posting and reading is so much more healthier for you and you will feel no shame, no regret and you will remember what happened the night before. My daughter used to say to me when I first started... "you're not on the computer AGAIN are you ?" But I would rather she said that than " you remember, I told you last night" and for me not to remember.
Sometimes it helps to remember what it was like when I was drinking. How I used to have daily hangovers and have to see how I felt before I moved from the bed in case I needed to run to the loo to throw up. How I would wake up and not know how I got to bed or how I got those bruises, or where my bag was. Or where that $100 went. Or how I actually got home and what time. Or what I said to my son and why isnt he talking to me this morning. Or (in the early days in my twenties) who that strange man was that had my number and rang me? And how did he get my number in the first place?
Never again...
Now I may not go out as much, but that is OK. I may not contribute to a conversation much, but that is OK too. I may be quiet and keep to myself, but that is OK. My house may not be as spotless as it used to be because I would clean constantly when drunk, but who cares? I may not be as tolerant as I used to be, may not put up with other's shit as much as I used to, may not people-please like I used to.... but deal with it. I am so much better off without alcohol.
I hope you have a good evening/day where ever you are.

Hip

[rebirth]

Newbies Nest

Hi Hip,
Oh your words came straight out of my mouth except that my house is much cleaner now than when I was a drunk. I was too busy/tired to do anything except to drink. You managed five months and then slipped....oh that worries me. I am an alcoholic and I just cant afford to slip. It scares me to think that I could..I am scared that I wont pick myself up again as I have such a strong addiction to alcohol.

May I ask why you decided to take that drink again? x

[rebirth]

Newbies Nest

I posted this on another thread but my partner thinks I am having an affair cause I am always on this site. Just like Hip's daughter says "you're not on the computer AGAIN are you ?". My partner says the same.
Oh but its okay for him to watch the world cup on a daily basis!

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

Thank you rebirth and Happy Chick! Wonderful and helpful insight. I slept well and I'm so happy that my head doesn't hurt, my eyes aren't blood shot and my stomach doesn't hurt! Way better prepared for a busy day at work! I really can't thank you all enough! Can't wait to hear how everybody's day is going!