Newbies Nest

[bizman]

Newbies Nest

Hi I am new here and have some things to work out with reguard to alcohol and my use of it.
Some times I feel like I am drowning in it. I never drink before the 17 hour of the day and stop by the 19 However I think it is a crutch for being out of work and other family things. It is somthing I need to stop as my family is worried about me. It is and every day event. I don't nessarely want to stop for ever but I know I need to get controll. I am now trying to just have 3 drinks per night.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I'm not the most qualified to respond, but here goes..

The first time I came to this site was Feb 1, 2010. I had resolved to stop drinking vodka. My habit was much more out of control than your 2 hour drinking window. Mine kept expanding...I began drinking before work was done, around 3:30. On weekends my window opened at 10:30 am. Oh yes, open for business! By the end of the evening I couldn't hold my eyes open and was living life passed out on the couch. Needless to say, my hubs noticed...and it became a really sore source. I tried to cut back hoping I could hold it so he wouldn't notice so much. He did. It's all he talked about. I was sick of his harping on my drinking...I blamed it on meds or menapause... but I hit rock bottom on Jan 31...showed him all my stashes and he poured it all out. I decided my problem was with vodka...so I started drinking wine with him. He has about 2 glasses a night. So I started that. Then when he'd leave the room, I'd top off. Then I began buying small boxes of it and hiding it in my shoe rack, so my usual hours of getting wasted came back out of mothballs and I was in the very same hole. On July 4th, we had a dinner engagement to attend and bring a dish, but I had passed out on the couch. When I woke up at nine, he was glaring at me. We had missed the dinner. He told me it was our marriage or the AL. I begged him not to leave me...and he agreed, as long as I would sober up. Day one was HARD. Day two was hard also. But I had stashed one little box of the wine that I didn't surrender. It was my safety net. So on Wednesday evening at 8 when he went down to check something, I thought I'd have about half that box to help me sleep. Went back in to watch tv. He didn't notice. I'd gotten away with it. But....that other half was haunting me....taunting me! I had to have it. What's it gonna hurt? He just wouldn't leave! I was getting really irritated with him. I wanted that last half. This is when I absolutely knew that I am an alcoholic. I cannot taper, I cannot control Total absinance is going to be my only way out of this hole. I am not thinking in terms of never having another drink again the rest of my life...that is way too much to process. I do know this, I've had a hundred day 1's, but this time I mean it. When I see the posts that say AF since May 2010, that could have been me. But I had to prove to myself that I couldn't moderate. Now when I look at those dates, I am sad and it makes me sick to my stomach. Mine could say AF since Feb 1, 2010. I wasted 5 months trying to work with the beast. I am day 5 totally AF and I feel great, hopeful, and free. It takes 3 days for al to get out of your system for a blood test...and I can tell you that weekends were the worst for me...but yesterday was pretty easy!!!! Give yourself 3 good days and see how different you feel, once the beast is out of your blood. I'm not telling you that tapering won't work for you....but you don't see that glorious date at the bottom of my post do you? We can do this. If I can, you can! You take my hand, and we will get thru, you hear me? Be good to yourself in other ways. YOU CAN DO IT. WE CAN DO IT. L

[rebirth]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. havnt posted on here for a while but I will later. Hope every one is okay. x

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Bizman-:welcome:!! Although compared to the rest of us your drinking habits seem mild, the fact that you are here and your family thinks it is a problem means it is. It doesn't matter how much you drink or for how long-if it becomes an issue than it is a problem. I commned you on recognizing that. Have you had a chance to download the MWO book? Lot of great info there. there is a great update to the supplement section on the website (not in the book). I could not have done this without the book, the supplements and the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html. If you can't get the supplements locally, you can order them directly from the website. At first they seem expensive but when you think of all the $$ you spent on AL every nite.......
Read as much as you can on this site and post post post. It really does help and you'll meet such fantastic people!!

Brydlady-gorgeous post!! :goodjob: !! I hope we see more of you in the nest posting and contributing. Keep up the good work!!

HC-congratulations on crafting a plan and making it work during what could have been a very stressful visit. :goodjob: !! I watched Legally Blonde II last nite-one of my favs- and I want to give both you and Byrdlady 3 snaps:

It's another steamer today. Took LM for another rail trail walk but we went very S L O O O W. Only met one dog so the training was non existent. Stopped at a CAP store (Consumer Auto Parts) to look for a steering wheel cover for my new car (pink of course!!) and there was a large huskey in the next car that pulled in at the same time. The guy saw my "I love agility" magnet and proudly announced that his dog has achieved her CGC (Canine Good Citizen) certification. I thought, great!! I'll take LM out of the car and they can meet. There won't be time for him to get all excited since we were in very close quarters. I let him go up to the dog, they touched noses and then the Huskey snapped at LM!! The man was horrified and smacked the dog!! I felt really bad. he didn't have to hit her. LM of course responded by barking his fool head off. He didn't like that one bit!! Sigh. It's going to be a long road with this training.

We're staying in for the rest of the day until I go to my meeting. I just can't bear the thought of cleaning out that horrid shed in this heat. The rest of the week won't be much better so god knows when it will be done. Maybe November the way this weather is going LOL !!

Have a great day all!!

[Coco-Nut]

Newbies Nest

Hippy Chick;908292 wrote: .
Pap - love the new car. I am glad you said the cup holders were for water bottles and not wine bottles as my husband and I always used to laugh about if a car has a roadie holder (what we call them)
hip

I used to call them "Travellers!!"

[Coco-Nut]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;909383 wrote: The first time I came to this site was Feb 1, 2010. I had resolved to stop drinking vodka. My habit was much more out of control than your 2 hour drinking window. Mine kept expanding...I began drinking before work was done, around 3:30. On weekends my window opened at 10:30 am. Oh yes, open for business! By the end of the evening I couldn't hold my eyes open and was living life passed out on the couch. Needless to say, my hubs noticed...and it became a really sore source. I tried to cut back hoping I could hold it so he wouldn't notice so much. He did. It's all he talked about. I was sick of his harping on my drinking...I blamed it on meds or menapause... but I hit rock bottom on Jan 31...showed him all my stashes and he poured it all out. I decided my problem was with vodka...so I started drinking wine with him. He has about 2 glasses a night. So I started that. Then when he'd leave the room, I'd top off. Then I began buying small boxes of it and hiding it in my shoe rack, so my usual hours of getting wasted came back out of mothballs and I was in the very same hole. On July 4th, we had a dinner engagement to attend and bring a dish, but I had passed out on the couch. When I woke up at nine, he was glaring at me. We had missed the dinner. He told me it was our marriage or the AL. I begged him not to leave me...and he agreed, as long as I would sober up. Day one was HARD. Day two was hard also. But I had stashed one little box of the wine that I didn't surrender. It was my safety net. So on Wednesday evening at 8 when he went down to check something, I thought I'd have about half that box to help me sleep. Went back in to watch tv. He didn't notice. I'd gotten away with it. But....that other half was haunting me....taunting me! I had to have it. What's it gonna hurt? He just wouldn't leave! I was getting really irritated with him. I wanted that last half. This is when I absolutely knew that I am an alcoholic. I cannot taper, I cannot control Total absinance is going to be my only way out of this hole. I am not thinking in terms of never having another drink again the rest of my life...that is way too much to process. I do know this, I've had a hundred day 1's, but this time I mean it. When I see the posts that say AF since May 2010, that could have been me. But I had to prove to myself that I couldn't moderate. Now when I look at those dates, I am sad and it makes me sick to my stomach. Mine could say AF since Feb 1, 2010. I wasted 5 months trying to work with the beast. I am day 5 totally AF and I feel great, hopeful, and free. It takes 3 days for al to get out of your system for a blood test...and I can tell you that weekends were the worst for me...but yesterday was pretty easy!!!! Give yourself 3 good days and see how different you feel, once the beast is out of your blood. I'm not telling you that tapering won't work for you....but you don't see that glorious date at the bottom of my post do you? We can do this. If I can, you can! You take my hand, and we will get thru, you hear me? Be good to yourself in other ways. YOU CAN DO IT. WE CAN DO IT. L

I feel the same way - I could have had "Feb 2010" under my name....

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Bizman and Hi to you Byrdlady. Bizman, like PM3 says, to some of us your drinking habit don't sound too bad but since you're here, obviously you are worried and so yes you have come to a good place! It sounds like your drinking is relatively regulated still so hopefully you should find it no too difficult to set in place a plan to occupy those 2 hours in the day!
Byrdlady, I loved your post - the honesty just shines out of it and I know exactly what you mean. I cut out whiskey and moved on to wine, then vodka, then anything I could lay my hands on!! My hubs also really lost patience with me - and I didn't blame him, even thro the alcoholic haze, I was making his life miserable as well as my own. We get on SO well now it is unbelieveable, that is one of the best parts of being sober.
You have the 5 really tough first days over and done with - well done, and believe me once you have a week or two behind you, the time seems to fly along and before you know it you'll have heaps of weeks/months under your belt!
Goodday Coco, Mama,Hipster, Paps, Rebirth,Admom, Nora, Tant
Molly

[Mazzie]

Newbies Nest

Hello fellow nesters

Got back from our 4 day hol. Had a good time although the weather was foul - cold windy raining. Today it is absolutely brill - typical. Had a white knuckling time up there and so lucky I didn't have any wine with me - but that was my plan so it worked. I am happy now I really did enjoy the time and can remember it all. Next time we go it will be easier. Its just that we used to camp there lots and the bar was always open!!! We met some nice non-drinker people who were very hospitable and included us so that all added to our enjoyment. It is a real community up there and Mr Maz soon found some guys doing concreting so off he went to help!!! I had a sleep!!!

Welcome Bizman, stick around and let us get to know you. Good on you for recognising a problem and wanting to change. You can do it.

Must go to work now. Have a good day/night everyone.

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back Mazzie, glad the break went well - and yes the next time will be easier cos you've set a precedent so to speak. I think the first time we do things sober can be tricky, but like you say you can remember it all!! Good to have you back
Molly

[bizman]

Newbies Nest

Hi I am a newbe and need help I drink every day never before the 17th hour of the day and try to stop by the 19 hour. My problem is this has become a robotic habit and being unemployed i am drink more. I have a family with two children and they notice my habit. Vodka is the only thing I drink no beer,wind,wisky I need to do somthig I am scared and feel like I am chained to the bottel any words of wisdom would be greatly needed

[OZboy]

Newbies Nest

hey,bizman....

it takes courage to post a story bout' one-self...no need to be scared..

..so keep postin' n' i'm sure others will have great advice..take care,Ozy..

[bizman]

Newbies Nest

Thanks one and all for your support please add me to your buddy list It is nice to know I am not the only one in this boat!!

[bizman]

Newbies Nest

Hay there only two drinks today!!!

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Well done Bizman on only two drinks. Welcome to our nest. Lots of support and help here. Please pop in whenever you need to. You certainly arnt the only one with a problem with alcohol.
Hi Byrdlady. Welcome back. I remember when you first started in February. There are still quite a few of us left. So pleased you decided to come back and do it again. Sorry to hear you had to learn the hard way. Your honesty is very much appreciated. Maybe getting it down on paper/screen is a good thing - very cathartic for you. And it validates and confirms what you have been thru and are feeling. Good luck and please keep coming back.
Hi Maz - I am glad your few days away went well. Isnt it amazing how much more you enjoy sober holidays?!
Hey Ozboy. Welcome to our nest.
So good to see so many new people taking the power away from that beast alcohol. If I can do so can you.
Molly - it's great that you and your husband are getting on so much better. What a bonus of being sober!
I have my appointment with the doctor tomorrow. I am so relieved to be getting help finally. I should have done this earlier and maybe things wouldnt have got so bad. At least I have no desire to drink.
Will let you know how I go tomorrow - that is if she doesnt cart me off to the sanitarium!

Hip

[Mazzie]

Newbies Nest

Hey Hip, All the best tomorrow with the Docs. Takes quite a bit of courage to do that. Really hope you get the help you want. I'll be looking to see how you got on.

I'd have to say Molly that Mr Maz definitely loves the sober me much more. Could be cause I'm not quite so selfish, I have more energy and motivation and I appreciate him lots more too!!! Plus, I smell so much better!!! (He used to say I smelt like a brewery)

Byrd thanks for your post. Brings back memories of the stashes, empty bottles in weird places, the topping up quickly before anyone comes back in the room and so on it went!!! Not a good way to be living (or not living). Ditch the al Byrd - it'll never do you any favours.

PapM so happy for you to have a new car AND good news about your health. You're on a roll!! Good job on the al free days too.

Coco - love seeing you here. You always give me a smile. i appreciate that thanks. Hope you're doing OK.

Biz and Ozboy and other newbies, just sending some encourgement. Work at it and you'll succeed.

Time for sleeps now. Hope you all have a good nigh/day