Newbies Nest

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Cross post Pride - I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. My hubs is a bit of a control freak as well, and 'ham-fisted' is the word for how he handled all this at the beginning. But he has learned and now he is super. He has stopped watching me and monitoring me all the time and is just happy and relaxed with me. I have screwed up and hopefully not, but I could again, and I think he is just grateful that life is so much better ODAT for him as well!!
Molly

[Pride before Fall]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, Molly. I feel like I just need time to sort this out in my own head first, choose the direction and lay the tracks and get some nails in the ties, and he'll be "why don't you try this? Let's do this!" And, like when I quit smoking 10 years ago, I'll want to throttle him.

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Gotcha!! Bloody men huh!! They know it all:H:H:H
Molly

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Morning. (Sorry Molly - been lurking, just havent had time to visit).
Gym and washing out of the way, husband at golf (!!), now it's my time to do as I please. Well that is until I have to take my son to footy...

As you know I went to the docs on Wednesday and although the anti-depressants havent had time to kick in, I actually feel more positive. I think it is just because I have actually done something pro-active about feeling so bad for the last few months. Just getting my arse into gear and asking for help has made a difference. So when the AD's kick in it will be even better. And my husband has been a huge support. He has suffered from depression for years so can relate to how I am feeling.

Molly - I am glad you asked Byrdlady for a translation. I thought it was just me who couldnt understand what the hell she was talking about with charms pops and huge horsey things..... (those Americans... speak a different language.... Not like us Aussies and Irish who are really easy to understand hey!).

Pap - oesteoporosis?? What next... you need to stop reading medical reports or you will end up like me - a cyber-chondriac. I read anything on the net and I have immediately got it. So far this year I have had ovarian cancer, heart disease, diabetes, going blind, gall stones and the latest is aspbergers syndrome! Luckily it is all in my head and nothing real!

Welcome Waterbug, Pride and Debbo. Read the book, get the supps and CD's and you will be well on your way to feeling a lot better. Pride - admitting the truth (when you are ready of course) does actually make you feel stronger. And when you feel stronger you may be able to stand up to your partner and tell him you want to do things your way. I know what you mean though. Men are born trying to fix things. Good luck all of you.

Where's aclassicgirl, admom and bizman. Did we frighten you off?

Byrdlady - you are so right about this journey having it's ups and downs although it does get smoother the longer you are sober. I often go a whole day or two without thinking about drinking. Especially when my husband is away. And I rarely have cravings anymore. So keep at it and you will get there too. Now it is more about dealing with the crater that appeared when I removed the AL from my life.

Well, I hope everyone stays strong over this weekend. I will pop in again later to make sure. OK?

Hippy

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

AAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH just lost a mega post -I HATE COMPUTERS!!
Mornin Hipster, yep, I too trying to deal with the crater, the ADs are definitely working now tho - nearly 3 weeks in and I look forward to the day when I wake up and am sleeping better so all is good. I agree, drinking seems almost irrelevant so much of the time now, certainly not first thought in the mornin and last at night like it used to be!
Lovely to have newbies among us, Waterbug, Debs, Byrdypoplady, and yeah where are you Classic, bizman and Admom - get your asses back here damn quick an we can all get mad sober together!!!!!
Paps, stay strong and find those fish!
Nora, come in and tell us how you are? and hey Coco you too!
Will check in later, lovely Sat off work
Molly

[expat3]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Molly and others! I was following a thread started by Sunray but it kinda died! Anyway, this is probably where I should be-"in the nest". But thanks to Sunray's post-well, it was just the one that got me to jump in. Funny how one person's words can really make us look at things in a different way. I have been doing the moderation thing for a few weeks now-and its been going ok. BUT-after reading that thread on "What I hate, loath...." about drinking, it just brought back some very scarey memories that I can relate to. And I know the only way to never have a repeat of those times is just say -STOP.

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Welcome to the nest Expat! That's the great thing about this whole site - everyone with the same goal but with different ways to get there, I find I pick a little bit of this and a little bit of that and then formulate my own way of getting where I need to be.
'Scary' is the word isn't it! When I was drinking I thought I was fooling everyone and that I was in control and perfectly functional -NOT!!!!
Molly

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning to you all!
Welcome ExPat-stay close to the nest-we'll keep you from falling out. Velcro Suits for anyone who needs them!!
I'm wondering if Fennel left an extra set of keys somewhere for the Dos Gatos Truck. Sure would like some of that DC, veggie tacos and fried krill!! Miss her!!
HC-you sound great and I'm sure speaking with your doc lifted a huge weight off your shoulders. Onward and upward!!
Hey! We americans don't speak wierd-we're just wicked into very descriptive adjectives LOL!!
Busy zoom zoom weekend!! papillion meeting today in Rhode Island-luckily there is central air in the cottage or else I wouldn't be going. Going to be in the mid 90's today with fecking high humidity. Same for tomorrow but again, will be inside in AC at the agility trial.
Found the fishies!! At least 2 of them. Hiding under the duck weed.
I know HC-I don't think I have all these ailments but I always take the news seriously and maybe I need to not be so serious!! But I do have osteopena and although it runs in my family I'm sure the heavy AL use didn't help.
OK, zooming off now. Check in tonite.
:l

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hi Moll. Glad the AD's are working for you. I look forward to the day I start feeling good again. Sleep would be good too. I am still taking three calms forte each night and find if I dont, I am up at three in the morning wondering what to do next!!

Hi Expat. Welcome. One of the great things about this site is getting other peoples thoughts and opinions. It's great to look at things in a way I wouldnt normally. You will find alot of us dont or cant moderate. I cant and to be honest, I dont want to either. Now anyway. I did think for months that I would try it and see but I am too worried about being able to stop again, so dont bother thinking about that. Come and visit us often.

Where is everyone? Must be time to get up by now??

HC

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

I'm here Hips, housework done an all!! It is a sort of sudden change of mindset when you realise you can 'not bother thinking about it'! I suppose when you put it like that it really has got easier hasn't it!
Molly

[expat3]

Newbies Nest

Hi! I wonder if people are having a problem posting this morning (afternoon)? I tried -wrote a really long post (to explain my earlier post) and -poof! It did not go through. Well, I was trying to say that I don't want to just "moderate" anymore but really want to just STOP. So I wrote in asking for help, advice, whatever... Feeling very stressed out today but am ready. Is anybody out there???

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hi expat. I am here.
I found that if I didnt log in and ask the computer/site to keep my login and password, i would log out after about 15 mins which is very frustrating if you are half way thru a post. So try that and see if it helps.

[expat3]

Newbies Nest

I guess my first post was not clear that when I said I must just "stop" -I meant AF. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Expat - have you read the book yet? It is very informative and has lots of ideas and support in it. It can be downloaded from here (or I bought it in a book store). Also get the supplements as they are good for getting your body better and stop the cravings. The CD's I found invaluable as it calmed my mind and I usually dropped off for a few minutes but came out feeling like I had slept for ages.
This site has been the biggest help for me. I come here anytime I need to and really miss it if I dont. I have made some wonderful friends and love to catch up on their daily lives. It really doesnt matter if they are half way round the world. In fact it is better as I can get a glimpse of another world.
If you have any questions about using this site, ask away as someone will have an answer. Hip

[Pride before Fall]

Newbies Nest

Hi Expat. I'm here! EST in New England.

My quick advice, for what it's worth: Since you're just starting out, like me, don't try moderation now, just get alcohol-free days under your belt and worry about long term when you have some more distance and your head and body are clearer.

It's hard for me to imagine not having alcohol in my life at all at this point, so I have these insidious thoughts of just having a glass of champagne at New Year's Eve or a glass of wine with dinner "like everyone else", but the bald truth is, I may not be like everyone else--I'm like you guys. It doesn't work for me; I've tried, even gone for months after a particularly humiliating episode, but ended up drinking as much or more than before.

But that's a concern for a little farther down the road. Just hang in there, don't beat yourself up--it's a bumpy ride, I've got the bruised ass to prove it! XOXO