Newbies Nest

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

I feel a bit of a hypocrit Sunny.....

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

No, not a hypocrite, Hippie.
But your perception has changed. And, that is to be expected, no?

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Hey Sunni-I'm so sorry you're having a tough time all of a sudden. Can you pinpoint what has changed to make you go off plan? Are there new triggers in your life that you weren't prepared for?
As far as AA goes, I too had an aversion to all the higher power and surrendering stuff. Doggie Girl wrote a great post in the AA thread last week on just that subject and it was brilliant!! I went to my first AA meeting 2 weeks ago. I refused to say "Hi, I'm Pam and I'm an alcoholic." I just couldn't bring myself to say it. I still see myself as alcohol dependent. The meeting was very small and it was a step meeting-probably not the best meeting to go to for the first one. I've since been advised that the larger open meetings are less intimidating and you can just sit there and listen. Anyone can go to these types of meetings so the person you are sitting next to isn't necessarily addicted themselves. I may check out one of these meetings one day but right now I'm not all that motivated.
You are a very sharp and intelligent person and I know that you want your best life possible so I have no doubt you will figure this out. If we can help in anyway, please let us. In the meantime, you know the drill: read, read, read; post, post, post!! And get a velcro suit on if you need it.
:l

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

hey NoraC-congratulation!! What a huge step you have taken in your wellness journey!! You have given a lot of us hope! I totally get it when you say you couldn't remember what you like to do in your free time. I've often felt like there is no excitement or joy in my life anymore. I do read but there isn't motivation to do much more. I watch TV or I'm on the computer in my free time. Agility is very scheduled and I do like it but I feel like there is something missing outside of that. Some people really like to knit or crochet, garden or cook-passionately. I "like" to do a lot of things but there isn't a lot of passion in doing them so I don't do them often. What I liked to do passionately, I can't do anymore and sometimes that really pisses me off!!
Let us know how Disney Land goes tomorrow. Post some pics if you want.
:l

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Hey HC- I PMd you. No, you are totally NOT a hypocrit. I'm so sorry you are in pain but I'm glad you could come here and talk about it.
:l

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Papmom :l

By the way.. I didn't go:H Meeting started 15 minutes ago and it's a 40minute drive - so.. not tonight. Unfortunately, there are only TWO meetings on the island (and I don't know whether those are different groups or not) - so I may still go and check out the Wednesday night one.

The only stressor if you will is my son. Well, and my daughter :H With her it's more worry, but I don't think that has anything to do with my recent difficulties. My son, on the other hand causes friction between myself and Mr. Wonderful, and is a much more 'in your face' problem. Still, that's by no means an excuse to go back to my old ways. Not that I have. But I'm headed there if I don't nip it in the rear now.

I'll go look for Doggy's post - she has a way of hitting the nail right on the head.

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Hey folks - I'm back. I had a long nap which is one of things that I do seem to do well right now. She asked me about that by the way. Yes - I do sleep a lot.
Molly - you made me laugh about the on the same page bit. Yep....that's why I don't read anymore.
Hippy - Certainly not a hypocrite. People grow & change....that does not make them hypocrites.
Pam - I'm going to make a list as stupid as that sounds. I know that I used to enjoy things.

Sunni - ok, here's my story which I wasn't going to share. I have shared different things that my son has done. He is 23 years old. In college. He recently lost his job because the restaurant closed down where he worked 1-1/2 months ago. No notice. He found a job this week. Great news right? So he celebrated. He celebrated so much that he passed out on the sidewalk. He was found at 6:00 am. They called an ambulance and he was taken to a hospital. He had an alcohol blood level of .39. He could have been dead. I don't know what it was but Mother's Intuition knew that something was wrong.....I stayed home from work that day and I hunted on the web and started calling numbers.
Bottom line. ....I am blaming myself. My son almost died this week. My son almost died because of alcohol. I talked & talked to him and cried & cried to him. I explained to him that he has my bug. He cannot have one drink. He can not have one drink. He has got to stay away from it. I think that this has scared him. I really think that he realized how close to death he was. Last night I got up in the middle of the night. He was playing video games. I said that I had to ask him a question. Are his friends just playing this off, joking or do they realize how serious this is?
He was upset that I had asked but he admitted that they were concerned for him. And that HE knew how serious this was.
Maybe this really hit how serious it was................

......................


Sorry - don't know where all this came from. Been holding this in. Just came out. I'm the one that holds everything in & takes care of it. Sorry folks

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Nora dear, no need to apologize!! This is good, very good and hopefully cathartic for you. You had a horrible scare and who else but MWO people will understand? I am praying that your boy does indeed know how serious this is and if this isn't his rock bottom, it's damn close. You can't fix this one yourself and neither can he.
Keep talking to us OK?

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

:l Nora

How terrifying for you and him, both. And no apologies, please.
I'm afraid that my son, too, has 'the bug'. I've talked to him about it numerous times. To no avail. I do so hope that your boy will remember how close he came to the ultimate prize to pay for drinking. Keeping you in my thoughts tonight, luv.

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Sunni - i would tell you to share the story about my son but the truth is the it would mean nothing to him. I love him more than life itself but none of my talks or none of the other incidents have seemed to phase him. I have to say that this one did seem to get to him. I hope so.....from the bottom of my heart. He does seem to understand that he almost died. He is such a wonderful person....that is what is so wrong in this picture.
I hope that your son can turn around too. :l:l:l

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Oh folks, I woke up to your posts and my heart is bleeding for you all, and yes Sunny and Nora, Paps is right, people here will so understand and empathize with probs with the young uns. Nora, - no wonder you sounded sad! Your boy is 23 tho and unfortunately except for a gentle guiding hand and doing probably exactly what you are doing, there is not much else you can do. We are all afraid we've passed this on to our kids like Sunni says, I know my eldest used to go on awful binges - the amount he would admit to drinking would frighten even me - he's now 28 with a lovely steady girl and I THINK he has settled down - I wouldn't be sure tho.
I reckon the fact that your boy is talking to you about it at all would show that he really has frightened himself - just be there for him, keep the communication open and after that ( this is from a virtual atheist!!) pray!!!
Sunni, I'm guessing Mr Wonderful is the lads step-Da? A fairly fraught relationship, a woman I work with is in the same boat and she comes to work for a break from it all - she cries every time she is on her own and I just want to hug her but she is such a private person I have to pretend I don't notice.
Hips, maybe I'm a heartless cow, but I have - in no uncertain terms - told hubs that he is a tiresome pain in the arse when he is drinking, and I've now taken to going to bed at bout 9.30 with my computer and my book when he is drinking. I understand what you are saying completely - we were brilliant drinking buddies, I know he loves me being sober but I bet deep down sometimes he misses that part of our life as do I.
Nora have a lovely time in Disneyworld - I WOULD LOVE TO BE GOING THERE RIGHT NOW - even if you are overwhelmed just think about us poor suckers who would love to be you today!!
Everyone have a nice sober Sunday and do keep coming here - I find this is the first place I think of when I have a prob, even when it's not drink linked - it just feels like I'm coming to see my friends!
Molly

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Right...now, no more interruptions.... It's my time on the internet guys..... DO YOU HEAR ME!!??

Sorry bout that my friends...... my family seem to forget I need my time with no bloody interuptions. I have done six friggin loads of washing today..... Been trying to connect to the internet for hours without any luck (wirelessly - didnt think of connecting to the modem with the cord!!!).

Nora and Sunny - sorry to hear of your troubles with your sons. They certainly make us work hard as parents, dont they? Nora, hopefully he has had a wake up call and realises that it cant continue. I wish I had had a wake up call in my early twenties....
As for finding something to do in your spare time.... I actually started a thread last week asking for people's suggestions of what I can do as a hobby. I had some great replies although I dont think I am going to pursue knot tying!!
I came to the realisation that I do do things - I love cooking, reading, gardening, I've taken up knitting (only squares to be sewn into blankets at an old folks home). I have done lots of different classes. But I felt that I needed to get out and do something because my husband and my mum, keep asking me "what have you done today?" on my days off. And it usually consists of reading, cooking, MWO etc. And they make me feel bad that I dont go out to do things. But I am quite comfortable being at home and doing things there. I actually dont like going out of the house. I hate going to the shops and I am not the type of person to meet friends for a coffee (now or for a drink before). So I realised it is their problem NOT MINE. Sometimes I think I would like to be on a desert island by myself with a monkey for company........
As for my husband, his drinking and the way it makes me feel, I think I have memories of my first husband telling me how boring I had got after I gave up drinking (well, I was pregnant with his child - how dreadful of me!) and my marriage going down the toilet after that (his sleeping around had quite abit to do with it too). I quite like my husband when he is not drinking. It is just the obnoxious, loud, argumentative lout that seems to come to life when he is pissed.

It's still a learning journey, isnt it!

HC

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Hellloooooo!!?? Anybody home?!! Well, folks,hope you've all had a nice sober Sunday. I had a lovely lazy day, newspapers, bbq, visit from other son ( I have heaps of sons!) and am now in bed watchin Big Brother and checking in on all my missing buddies here!!!

Nora, how did you get on in Disneyworld? Hope you had a lovely time.
Hips, you sound so like me - I too love being in the house and my own company. I have an(ex?) friend who dumped me when I gave up the booze and hubs keeps saying 'why don't you ring Ann and meet for a cup of coffee?' The same person would look at me like I had 25 heads if I suggested meeting without drinks, and I would be bored to tears!
How are you feeling today Sunni? and Paps and Coco and all the missing newbies???!!Talk tomorrow
Molly

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Yeah! Where is everyone Molly? You guys are usually quite active while I am sleeping. Well I hope it means you are all out doing stuff because your lives are so fantastic now you have stopped drinking......

Or am I dreaming?

Hope you had a good one.

Hip

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nestlings - late checkin for me today - sowwy.

We've spent the afternoon at a 'memorial celebration' ... certainly not your average thing, but Chris was no ordinary guy. He was a very good friend of ours who passed away 2 weeks ago. There were about 250-300 people at the hight of it, enough food to feed a village for a week, live music, lots of laughter and a few tears as well.

After I had to feed monsters, got 1/2 my lawn (nearly hay field) cut and now it's dark - darn :H

I'm feeling better and stronger today... don't know what had gotten into me this past week. Just got really wobbly and scared. I'll be alright.

Nora, how was Disneyland???? Or, are you still there!? :H
Hipster, Molly.. hope you had a wonderful Sunday. And, everyone else, too... of course!

Over and out - talk to you tomorrow (at some point). Riding lessons, more lawn to cut and guests for dinner... that should keep me busy and out of trouble