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    Newbies Nest

    thanks Nora and Molls. I'm not sure I really want a relationship-sometimes what I think I want is someone to fix things and give me money so I can do what I really want!! A handy dandy Sugar Daddy I guess :H!! No strings attached :H. Oh well. gotta work on me first.
    I'll speak with my MD in Sept and see what she thinks and if she has any suggestions.
    Oh Poor Nora-you got sick before your first meeting? I sure hope today was better. I love to talk so I don't think I would be nervous. It's just the organizing of it like Molls said. It took me MONTHS to find a new MD when my other one left the practice. I was so overwhelmed with the whole process I kept putting it off.
    And yes, you guys are my main friends right now. I have a few people I'm close to at work but we don't "hang out" outside of work, I have one close non work friend, a friend I see once a year and then there's my family who I'm very close to.
    Yuck, enough about that. I'm not the social butterfly my sis is that's for sure. And yes, Molls, my life is sorta peaceful and probably stressful too trying to everything myself on a very limited budget (which is why my dad had to buy my car for me) but I try not to thing about that too much.
    New Birthday: May 8, 2010

    "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

    KO the Beast!!

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      Newbies Nest

      Oh Paps, what wouldn't I do for someone to fix things and give me money:H:H
      Nighty night all
      Molly
      Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
      contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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        Newbies Nest

        *sigh* Here I go again

        Had this looooong post typed, ALMOST ready to hit 'submit' when I heard something on the stairs... My daughter and grand peanut!!!! Yay!!! So, now... like over 3 hours later, puter has shut itself down and I'll have to start all over again! :H

        Ladies and gents... after a number of years and much fear - I kissed the dirt again, today. Yep, apparently Atlas CAN buck. In his defense, I was not anticipating having to jump and the saddle slid forward after the first jump, sooooooo.... I guess it got a tad uncomfy for him and he said, "Nuh-uh. Not like that, lady." Anyways, I'm ok... had the wind knocked outta me for a bit and I reckon my back side is going to be rather tender for a few days.

        We had a great start in the morning, calm as can be, strolled on to the trailer, got to the stable where the event was held, were assigned a stall, and THEN the trouble began. There was work going on RIGHT behind his stall (compressors, nail guns, etc.). He reared and shook like a leaf. Took me 1/2 hour to tack him up and I pretty much missed the warm up ride. However, we did place first in the Halter Class (first event), fourth and fifth in dressage suitability and I forget what else! :H Then came dressage equitation with 2 jumps at the end and... errrrm... yeah, that one didn't go so well. I fixed the saddle and still rode my 2nd dressage test after that and then called it a day.

        Atlas was SO anxious to get home, he nearly bumped the other horse OFF the trailer ramp (we were catching a ride home with a friend). He literally jumped on the trailer - he was SO ready to get out of there. I guess, this is where his young age and inexperience showed.

        Anywho.. and then my daughter and baby peanut showed up and we had a nice visit So, all in all not a bad day More later - I need a nana nap after all that excitement!

        :hallo:
        Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

        Winning since October 24th, 2013

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          Newbies Nest

          So Sunni, except for a black and blue backside you had a good day:goodjob: Well done on all the horsy stuff. Headin to bed now will talk tomorrow
          Molly
          Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
          contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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            Newbies Nest

            Hi all, thanks so much for the welcomes! It is such a lovely feeling to see people replying to me and giving encouragement :thanks:
            I hope your day picked up, Molly. I have started listening to these guided meditations on my mp3 in the mornings before I get out of bed and I do find they help me start the day a bit better, and handle my agitation in a calmer way. It's not for everyone, but it makes a difference to me!
            I was walking through town tonight with a friend after the cinema (Toy Story, am a big kid!), and there were lots of drunk people about, broken bottles everywhere and a hyped up atmosphere, and I realised that I didn't feel left out by not drinking, but that i didn't want to be a part of all that - a great feeling in one way, but it also means that my social life has to change. Not so easy in Ireland, although maybe I haven't looked in the right places yet.... anyway it was actually good to see town on a Saturday night from a sober perspective - it didn't seem the place for me anymore.
            Thanks again to everyone for the kindness
            AF since 13th July 2010
            NF since 5th July 2010

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              Newbies Nest

              Neart - I loved Toy Story 3 - except when I was crying. :H I want to go see Despicable Me next.

              Sunni - I am so sorry. :l:h So proud of you for getting right back on again. GREAT BIG HUGS SWEETIE. Congrats on all the good stuff and hugs on all the hard stuff.

              Paps - I'm still waiting for my knight to give me money & fix things. :H But, I know what you mean. I love my husband with all my heart. I really do. But, I am sometimes jealous of you.
              "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
              ..........
              AF - 7-27-15

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                Newbies Nest

                Hi Neart, I know what you mean- walking thro town on a Sat night certainly can be an eye-opener!! Not quite as bad now as a few years ago, but sort of scary how drunk people can get. When drinking I was mainly a 'stay at home and pass out on the couch' sort of a drunk - no better I know but at least a bit safer. A taxi-driver told me once that he saw a very young girl - 16-17 tops, vomiting into the river and a man came up behind her, pulled down her pants and proceeded to have sex with her, right there on the bridge and she appeared oblivious. That story haunts me.
                Anyway on a much lighter note, lookin forward to seeing ToyStory, now that I've no younguns noone will come with me! and yes the 'sober social life' is tough to find, but it is out there I'm sure!
                Morning Nora - still tryin to do the linkin thing - actually HOLD ON - am just after readin your instructions again and I think I know what I'm doing wrong, will let you know!!!!
                Have a lovely sober Sunday all
                Molly
                Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                  Newbies Nest

                  still tryin to do links oh and why do I have a red dot beside my name and everyone else has a blue or a green one?
                  Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                  contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                    Newbies Nest

                    what color dot do I have beside my name?
                    New Birthday: May 8, 2010

                    "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

                    KO the Beast!!

                    Comment


                      Newbies Nest

                      No idea what the red dot means, Molls, but the green means online and the "blue" or grayed out dot means off line.
                      :l
                      New Birthday: May 8, 2010

                      "Because dwelling from, not upon, the space you want to inherit is the fastest way to change absolutely everything."[/i]-The Universe

                      KO the Beast!!

                      Comment


                        Newbies Nest

                        Hiya Paps, thanks for that! Will suss out the other one. How are you today? - very quiet round here!
                        Just goin to have dinner - pork an apples and Irish cabbage and carrots with apple an mustard gravy - I think I must be hungry. Will check in later HOPE TO SEE EVERYONE!!!!
                        Molly
                        Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                        contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Criss crossed Neva! How are you today? No no problems that I know of - I'm so bad at 'puters I could be havin probs all the time and not know it!!! Go on write the long post again, I'm lonely!!:H:H
                          Molly
                          Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                          contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Hi neva eva, I just wanted to wish you well today in opening up to your friends and family - it's not something I've done yet. Fair play to you!!
                            AF since 13th July 2010
                            NF since 5th July 2010

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Hi there Neart, how you doin today? I haven't really done the whole 'reveal' thing yet either. My hubs obviously knows and we chat openly about it and he's a great help - most of the time! My kids I've never really sat them down and discussed it but they all know - Mum doesn't drink anymore - end of. As for friends - haven't got a lot, but no I've never told them, and people I work with I just say I don't drink.
                              Hi Eva, the pork an apples was gorgeous thanks!
                              Will check in later
                              Molly
                              Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                              contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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                                Newbies Nest

                                day two

                                I feel that I just realized how much I am hurting my sons and really am not being a mom.
                                I couldn't make up my life story if I tried. Not that I am not seeing that I got myself here on my own . I lost my son at age 13 to suicide. I than got divorced about 3years after seperated after one year. It was a terriable divorced after 18 years of marriage. 3 days after divorced he anounced he was gay and would move his partner in, so my two other boys wanted nothing to do with the partner. Both men love drama and won't leave me alone and the partner puts himself in my bussiness all the time. It just doesn't end. Ifeel like they took my life over so it was easier to come home from work and drink the night away till nxt day and start over. It didn't really affect my work life but maybe I will notice it was, once I am clean.So this is my second day and I am scared, How bad withdrawl will be. I live in the smallest town and know to many people to tell anyone here. The only good friend in town is as bad as I am, and our life if I went anywhere circled around drinking.Feel pretty alone here but also not ready to tell anyone, I've lied to doctors, family, friends, and have to deal with my doctors on my job and don't want to make that a problem. So here I go, if any one , can fill me in on withdrawl I would be thankful

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