Newbies Nest

[fluff]

Newbies Nest

trying again...

I'm going to try this again-seems the longest I've gone without drinking is 3 weeks and the *wham* back at it again- I feel so depressed about it all -I want to feel good about myself again. It's taken a physical and mental toll on me and I don't understand why I talk myself back into such a bad habit. Maybe because I want to have that life where I can have that wine when we are out to dinner- and not drink anymore when we come home. It just doesn't work that way with me- I end up drinking when we get home and then go to bed and not remember the last part of the evening-even though I watched tv and conversed with whoever was in the room. That's the scary part-not remembering. I'm sitting here and just really hate myself-I want to cry- I want to get this demon out of me. I want to be strong enough to get rid of it completely -not even a thought of it-ever.

[rie]

Newbies Nest

optimistic

maybe i shouldn't be feeling so good...afraid of another relapse. this is day 15 for me af, and i don't feel any cravings. i made it 17 days last time and then allowed myself to get really messed up. feeling more humble now and a bit more frightened that it will happen again.

this site helps, and i thank all of you for being here and understanding! hugs!

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Oh Neart!! Didn't you know that Big Girl and Big Boy pants are the latest fashion craze? Even Vogue is sporting them, especially the Titanium ones for when you need that extra resolve!! BGTP, BBTP-the latest in MWO fashion!!

Hello to our newbies!! I know it's tough in the beginning and when the beast starts telling you that you "deserve" a reward or that life sucks so why not drink, it can be extra hard to resist. You have to want to do this with all your heart and soul and you have to want to do this for yourself first and foremost. If you can ride the self pity or crave wave for just a few minutes and avoid raising that first glass to your lips, then you are on your way. Check out some of the threads like https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ing-22609.html or watch the Rain in my Heart documentary. These are eye openers and can really help you figure out what it is you want to do.

Good luck my little nestlings. Be strong, use the velcro straps available for free here or the full size velcro suits. Use whatever tools you have at your disposal and most of all HAVE A PLAN!!!

:l :l

[Design For Life]

Newbies Nest

Evening guys, hope we're all heading for the weekend ready to wake up Monday and think wow I made it through:l

Rie, day 15 you are doing great, yes I know it's a bit nerve racking approaching where you fell last time I was there on day 15, but I sat and wrote a list of how ill I'd feel the next day and thought about how long it took me to get back to where I am now...

Fluff:l Those blackouts are one of the things that are stopping me drinking right now, they got so bad that they we're happening everytime I drank , in fact I'm dreading speaking to my friend later, he went on hols a few weeks ago and rang me before he left, (I have absolutely no idea what I said to him, I don't want to know as I have this huge crush on in and I hope to God I didn't tell him how I felt, my call log tells me we spoke for almost an hour.. and I got a message the next morning from him... telling me I was f8888 amazing...ooops)

I'd love to be able to one of those people who can just drink when I'm out for a meal but this time I've somehow come to terms with that it's not going to happen, it just isn't ever going to work for me. Just hold in there, take it ODAT and look after yourself....


Neart, not sure what we're doing for M D's day, We're going to the restaurant we went to on Wed for lunch, where I shall raid the salad bar and drink copious amounts of pepsi.... I'll buy him birthday wine but give it to him as part as his present so I won't touch it, but to be honest the smell of alcohol turns my stomach at the moment.

Papmom, taytay and HR hugs to you too:l:l

[neart]

Newbies Nest

Hi rie and fluff :welcome: You are both in the right place for support I remember being new here too, and not really knowing what I was doing. In fact, I clearly remember thinking "I'm not that bad really...". Like ye said, it's the blacking out, the conversations you have no recollection of, the horrid hangovers, the guilt and embarrassment...so many reasons!

Papmom, I watched Rain in my heart one of the first nights I came here back in July, and it hit home. Not easy, but compulsive - I couldn't not watch it.

Design, best of luck talking with your friend! One of my last nights out drinking, I confessed my love for a guy to a mutual friend, and remembered the next evening. Had to text asking him not to repeat it as I would die if this guy knew - it would not be good! I was soooo mad at myself for saying too much to the wrong person....again. Let that all be behind me!!

Hi Nora, hope you have a lovely weekend and keep on with that car search! Hardroad, hope your Friday is going well too.

ps Papmom, am off to the store tomorrow for some big girl pants - I am so not in fashion! I actually find that if I wear a style long enough, it eventually comes back in to fashion - Converse are back with a bang these days in Ireland, for instance. Luckily, I am very patient, and will wear the same style for 15 years if necessary just to be ready for that trend to hit again

[hardroad]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone. Had a long weekend of volleyball tourn. which did end up with a few drinks after team came in first place, nothing to much, or crazy, also was at a hotel and were to tired to do much so all just wanted to sleep! This is going to be a very rough week , the guy I take cake of is having brain surgery and I also have lots of family (kids) stuff going on too. Hope everyone else did well, don't know when I'll have time to check in next.

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning Nesters! I hope that you all are doing wonderful. I just wanted to drop by & bump this Newbies Nest to the top. I want everyone that is new & struggling to find this place and come here and get all the wonderful support just like I did.
This is a wonderful place to come to so you can ask your questions and get the support that you need.:h

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

I still pop in once in a while too - old habits die hard
The Nest was a great source of comfort to me when I first joined MWO & always received plenty of comfort & support here

A little tidbit of advice for the Newbies - make a firm commitment to yourself! No excuses! Get every last drop of AL out of your house, don't buy anymore, ever! You will be amazed how good you will feel by honoring your commitment to remain AF! Yes, you do need to change your thinking & find better ways to fill your time. But it is all worthwhile - you won't be sorry!

Wishing you the best - you can do it!
Lav

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Welcome To All the Newbies!! This is the place to be! You will find so much support here. Just come up into the nest and get comfortable. Feel free to ask your questions, tell your story and get to know us all and let us get to know you.

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

What's happened to everyone? Where have you all gone? Turn my back for five minutes and you all run away!

Been too slack to log on and say hi lately, but I know when my thinking turns to drinking, it's time for a dose of MWO. The weather is starting to warm up here (finally) and the thoughts of sitting out side with a glass of wine has been entering my head. Dont know why I wouldnt think of sitting outside with a glass of mineral water??!!

It's funny how quickly I forget all that I have learnt over the last 10 months and think that maybe drinking wasnt so bad after all.... Maybe I can just have one now that I have all this knowledge under my belt.... Then the first page I read Design for Life talks about black outs and reminds me how frequently I used to have them too. EVERY time I drank! I have too many episodes of drunken conversations that I still cant remember participating in.

So thankfully, this site and all you wonderful people are still here to remind me why I DONT WANT TO DRINK.

Hi Lav - hope all is going well with your life.
Hi Nora - how you doing? Still hanging in there?
Fluff - I remember you. We started around the same time I think. Wondered where you had gone to. Nice to see you back.
Hi Hardroad - I am so pleased to see you are still with us. I hope your kid issues sort themselves out real soon.
Hi Neart and Rie.
Pap - Am going to go to your blog to catch up with you. x

Well, going to fly around the site and see what's happening.

Take care everyone and stay strong.

Hipster

[fluff]

Newbies Nest

Hi Hippy! -Have you been al free since January? If so- CONGRATULATIONS! Please don't let the warmer weather down there talk you back into that horrible life of drinking and blackouts!
Keep strong and know that it's just that beast trying to lure you back- ( that's what happened to me when summer came around...) Live and Learn, right?
All the best to you,
Fluff

[fennel]

Newbies Nest

Good to see you again, Hippy! A bunch of us were getting too big and loud for the nest and had to move the taco truck over to the "General Discussions" section. Stop by Dos Gatos for some refreshments and fun!

[neart]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys, good to see ya, Hippy! How's life treating ya? It's so true that the bad memories fade away and I've found myself thinking the odd time - "sure why not?" - dangerous! So then I come back on here and it helps. I'm reading Allen Carr's book easy way to control alcohol to try and change my mindset on AL.
Hardroad, hope things are going okay for you, sounds like you have a lot on at the moment?
Hi to everyone else who pops in too!

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Morning all.

Hi Fluff - I was AF from January til June. Then I went on holidays and wanted to test whether I could moderate or not. For the week I was away I had a few drinks - certainly no where near what I would have normally consumed while on hols and I didnt get drunk at all. Luckily my experiment worked as I actually realised that I didnt want to drink and dispelled some myths I had built up in my head since stopping. As I hadnt drank for so long, I had told myself that it wasnt so bad after all, that I could stop at just one, that I needed it to be able to talk to people in a social situation. All these things that romanticised drinking. So I can honestly say that I am glad I tried drinking again for that week because it made me realise that life can be lived without AL. I am very lucky too that I was able to stop drinking before I came home.
I still have moments where I think... what if.... but generally when I feel like that I come here for a boost of determination. I do have to be careful though because I was getting addicted to MWO with my every thought about anything to do with this site. I have recently realised that alot of things in my life are an addiction, the strangest things too, however none of them are as damaging and controlling as my alcohol addiction. I am on anti depressants now as I fell into a deep black hole because I wasnt self medicating like I used to.
But on the whole, life is better than it was 10 months ago, I am learning alot about myself and about how to live without AL. I drank almost daily for 30 years, so I have a long way to go before i can feel comfortable with being sober. I still am having a lot of sober firsts, birthdays, celebrations, etc. Am yet to have a sober Christmas but not looking too much into the future.
So that is where I have been and where I am at.
What about you? I was so pleased so see you come back. Not that I was happy that you needed to be here, but that you reached out and asked for help again in a place that you know offers help and support. Thats what I love alot about this place - people who come back rather than give up and accept that AL is the boss.
Hope everyone is having a good day/night.
Hip

[papmom3]

Newbies Nest

Hipster-one, Ok maybe 3 words for you on these warm spring nites: Low sugar lemonade!! You will be surprised how satisfying it is. It has just the right amount of tangyness to remind me a tad of my beloved Pinot Grigio but the best part is i only want one 8 oz glass with dinner!! My fav is Trader Joe's but Minute Maid puts out a good one too.

Hi to everyone in the nest! Glad to see Nora and Lav popping in. told ya ya couldn't get rid of us that easily :H!!

have a good nite everyone and take pride in your AFness.

:l