Newbies Nest

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello All. DSLUM, think about how bad you'll feel if you give in to that craving and how strong and happy you'll feel if you don't.

Hope you're all having a great day today! I cleaned the house from top to bottom and did taxes -- I feel so productive! Now I'm looking forward to a movie and some ice cream.

Have a great AF night and Sunday all!

[DLSUM]

Newbies Nest

Thank you guys! I need this forum. I went to the gym and then a walk with a friend. Now too tired to drink. I got Saturday night, it didn't get me!

[jennyneric]

Newbies Nest

Congrats DLSUM! We have all been there and know that it is so hard. . .my bad night is always Friday. Saturday is a recovery day so to be board is normal. You just keep getting those Saturday nights and one day you won't even have to think about it!

[crimsons]

Newbies Nest

Hey DLSUM, congrats. I am new here so your victory tonight was an inspiration! I just got off a 10-day bender and I'm looking forward to continuing AF free for 30 days. One main reason is that I just paid a huge amount for a weight loss trainer and haven't lost all that much! only 12 lbs. so far. I've only got about five weeks of him left -- but 30 lbs. to go! I can tell I won't get anywhere without stopping drinking. It's also just escalated so that I get nothing done and spend most of the day mildly inebriated. There's just no reason for this!! So here I am, and I'm committed. I'm also learning that being kind to myself doesn't mean hanging out in bars -- and I live right a alkie-central near Venice Beach in LA. You never saw so many drunk people and opportunities to get that way. I think for the month I'll stay away from that block and just walk back and forth from the gym, with a pretty view of the boats. I'm also running out of money with 10 days til the next paycheck. Now that one's shocking -- not to mention I'm only just now doing my 2009 taxes. Kind of obvious I have a problem.

[dancingon]

Newbies Nest

Crimsons, 12lb is a pretty good loss, but yeah you will lose a lot more if you can stop drinking. When I went to weightwatchers I realised that if I only drank 2 glasses of wine 5 nights per week, I would still be drinking too much to lose weight while eating healthily, and I was drinking way more than that. Maybe the expense and the looming expiry date will provide your motivation. Can you just commit yourself until the personal trainer runs out and then re-evaluate?

DLSUM, well done. You handled that well. Distraction is a great tool. I've used it a lot this month and often find that it only takes a short while for the thought to leave, even though it felt like a strong urge.

[hillsidetime]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone, (or night for some) I hope that you weekend is going well. We get Monday off work here in Ontario, Family Day, I am so excited. My kids and I are heading ice fishing early tomorrow morning. I love the three day weekend.

I had some stress last night with my wife, but being sober, it is so much easier to work through it. I stay calm, and logical. In addition, when we have an issue, she no longer can play the ace up her sleave. The golden ticket. She can't start talking about my drinking. Even though it would not be part of the argument, inevitably, she would always play that card. It feels so great to not be vulneralbe to that.

Take care,
Hill

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Great to see so many checking in with godd news

Welcome crimsons, happy you've land in the nest. Grab a seat & stay with us for a while. Sounds like you've identified so drinking triggers, that's great. Look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for more ideas to help expand your plan.

DLSUM, you must feel pround this morning

Hill, I've been married to a chronic depressive for 37 years. He walked out last April without a word of warning. I'm convinced he couldn't stand to see my happiness & joy in life return after I quit drinking. Some people just won't allow themselves to be happy & will attempt to ruin your happiness along the way. Just a thought.

I have a busy day ahead & I'm still on stork watch. Plan to make a batch of Labor Cookies for my daughter today - why not??

Have a great AF Sunday one & all.
Lav

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon nesters!

Started Allen Carr's "Easy way to stop drinking" last night and couldn't put it down. I'm hoping that this will put the final nail in the coffin with any future urges I have to drink (or at least help one heck of a lot). So - I was feeling the same guilt buying that book yesterday as I would if I had been in the liquor store buying wine. The only difference was that when I left the mall, I left feeling positive and hopeful. Not something I would normally feel on my way home from the liquor store for sure.

Church this morning, my son is up visiting - lives about an hour and a half away, got a chocolate bundt cake with a ribbon of cream cheese and coconut running thru it in the oven - so far a pretty productive day.

Lav - how hard it must have been for you last year - 37 years is a long time. You are truly an inspiration to the rest of us as you got thru that without AL. Hope you are at peace with the situation now - any chance he might seek help and try to work things out? Depression is a terrible disease. Where is that baby??? Cookies just might do the trick!

Hill - sounds like you are back in control and maybe your wife will realize how hard this is for you and be supportive - not that we don't all have issues with our other halves from time to time.

:welcome: to all the newbies! Keep reading and posting - nothing but caring and support here.

Mylife - taxes are on my agenda today as well - at least getting all the paperwork together. Hate this time of the year.

Hope everyone has a super-fantastic sober Sunday!

[dancingon]

Newbies Nest

Hill, that is a good feeling when you know that your husband or kids can't blame the alcohol. Although I have to admit it's disconcerting when I forget something the kids have told me and can't blame the alcohol!

It is a bumpy road when your partner has watched you abuse alcohol for some time. My ex, despite his own substance abuse, used to become self-righteous and put me down, but whenever I took matters into my own hands and tried to stop in the past, he would sabotage it by sitting down with a bottle and drinking it in front of me, or pouring me a drink and then saying that he knew I couldn't stop. I think Lav is right that sometimes people have difficulty letting you let go, even if they think it's what they want. Perhaps they feel a measure of control if you are incapacitated, or have a reason to complain. My ex and I split up just over a year ago after 21 years, but the problems started long before the drinking, and even though it's not what I planned for my life it has been a positive thing for me.
I'm not suggesting you should split with your wife though. If you feel you can confide in someone it might be a good idea to get some counselling, so that you can both learn different ways of reacting to each other. Either that or have some honest and open discussion about how you both feel about it. Life has to be better with your control back.

[myhappyplace]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nest Day 14 today for me. Its weird I have to keep counting back now to work it out. I've set 20 as my ongoing goal, which I will then change to 30 then 40 and - you get it.

Lav, thank you as always for looking out for us and for your honesty.

Jolie enjoy that book, you deserve it guilt free, think of it as medicine for your mind.

Dancing and Hill - i get what you mean about the feeling of being in control, it is enpowering in any situation. I am early days with this so will probably continue to watch and learn more as I go.

Busy week ahead all go and will do it AL free, off to work, all keep safe and strong, thanks happy

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Hope everyone had a good day
I had a busy one, that's for sure! My daughter ended up spending 4 hours in the hospital this morning but was sent home. She had regular contractions for 12 hours then they just stopped. She was disappointed of course but understands that these things happen. Hoping for tomorrow I sent her home a while ago with a bag full of labor cookies

Jolie, my spouse claims to have been seeing a counselor for about a year now - hard to tell. He needs more than a counselor though in my opinion. I have no idea what his plan is - everything is always a secret with him. I'm trying to heal & forgive myself for putting up with his BS for way too long.

Greetings dancingon & myhappyplace! And congrats on your 2 AF weeks - awesome

I'm finding mediattion to be very helpful in my life these days..........I highly recommend giving it 10, 15 or however many minutes you can each day to help restore peace & calmness
Lav

[Carrie]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone. Someone told me this is a good place for support. I sure could use some! Feeling kind of lonely lately and the bottle seems a great place to turn. Thing is I just seem to be getting more depressed! It's hell being alone.

[hillsidetime]

Newbies Nest

Hi Carrie, and welcome. The nest is a great place to write about how you are feeling, and what you are going through. We are here for you. Certainly feel free to post elsewhere too, there are many helpful and caring people here.

I am sorry that you are alone, and not feeling good. I hope that you don't turn to the bottle. As you know, there are no answers at the bottom.

Are you looking to moderate, or quit drinking? Let us know more about yourself and where you are at. You are not alone here, and we are here to help.
Hill

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

A quiet Monday morning here? Hope everyone is happy & busy

Hi Carrie, welcome to the nest! You're not alone, make yourself comfy. Have you read the MWO book yet? It's full of good information for you & you can download right from the Health Store here. Tell us a little about yourself & how you are doing.

I'll check in later!
Have a great AF Monday!
Lav

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone! Hi Carrie, and welcome, you have certainly come to the right place!

Jolie, I read that book recently and it certainly helps to change the way you think about AL and the so-called benefits of drinking it!

Having said that, yesterday was my hardest day yet. I just wanted a drink so badly, was moody, irritable and tearful all day. I hated myself for having the thoughts and hated myself even more for being so weak and addicted. But I did manage to rationalise my thinking and went back and re-read some of it, and hey, it passed.

Hillside, your posts are always so sensible and helpful, it's always great to see you here!

Lavande, that stork is just around the corner, I can feel it!

my happyplace, dancing on, good to see you both posting and sharing, don't go anywhere!

I am off to mae something really nice for dinner, have a good one everyone!