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**prancy** · February 22, 2011, 03:54 PM

Newbies Nest

Thanks d. Good idea. After they had both told me what I should do, my husband said something like, we should meet again in 3 1/2 weeks to hear what progress you are making. I had to really hold back to keep from using the F bomb... Since we live in the same house, one would think they could just talk tm me, instead of having another meeting. But yes, I could use that opportunity to tell them that encouragement would help more than trying to tell me what I need. My daughter even used the term dual diagnosis, which is pretty funny in that I doubt that she even knows what it means. I almost said what other diagnosis are you referring to, but I wasn't up to it.

**Byrdlady** · February 22, 2011, 03:56 PM

Newbies Nest

Prancy

I wish I had a magic wand to make this go away. A sort of similar incidence happened to me... I confided in my sister, and the next thing you know, she had called my husband and they ambushed me! In no way am I over the trust hurdle in their books, I'm at 34 AF days today. And while I will give you great praise for your 2 weeks (which are BY far the hardest) I have come to understand that they are coming from a place of love. I've had an al problem for a long time, and while I really feel like I'm beating it this time, I do have a lot to prove to those that I made promises to before, and broke. Your hubs was probably very scared, and turned to the only other person he thinks knows the situation best. They just don't want to see a self-destruction, you know? If my friends said something like that to me....I'd do everything in my power to prevent it. He just didn't know what else to do. The answer is to prove them wrong. You have your head right now and have the resolve to turn this all around. Time will win their trust back. I still get an occasional zinger from hubs, and it hurts, but dammit, I caused it! Hope that helps a little....

**myhappyplace** · February 22, 2011, 04:22 PM

Newbies Nest

Hi Nest

Quick check in. Thanks dancing, all ok for loved ones in NZ for me. Left CHCH the day before....all of those poor people, certainly puts things in perspective. Thanks Jolie, yes he is 79 and very independent, but didnt have the phone on to save the battery. Excuse my rant, but last time we had to file a missing persons report as he went AWOL on a 1 hr flight and turned up 7 hours later. God love him, hes safe. All be well, hug someone you love today, or even two or three people, it goes around.

**Carrie** · February 22, 2011, 05:34 PM

Newbies Nest

Hi Vintage Girl, Thanks for the advice. One foot in front of the other is my motto at this point. You are correct about one day at a time. That's about all I can handle right now.

**Carrie** · February 22, 2011, 05:40 PM

Newbies Nest

Hi Dancingon, I really am trying. My husband has a few drinks but seldom in excess. I try to drink when he is off working, etc. I'm not sure I am bored, but certainly lonely. Have you ever been in a crowd and felt lonely. I guess that's me.

**Carrie** · February 22, 2011, 05:44 PM

Newbies Nest

Hi Lavande, Thanks for the information. I am going to start reading tonight. I am so tired of living like this.

**vintage girl** · February 22, 2011, 07:01 PM

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Prancy, sorry you are having a hard time. I am sure your husband and daughter want to say and do the right thing, your comments about the sleeping pills maybe set alarm bells ringing for them. Try to reassure them that you aren't suicidal but you just wanted him to know how bad AL makes you feel sometimes? Wise words there from byrdlady who has been in a similar situation, I hope it all works out for the best for you.

Happy, so pleased to hear that your rellies are all ok. I only wish the same could be said for everyone, I just hope and pray that the loss of life and devastation is over.

Carrie, just keep plodding on, the more days you get, the better you'll feel.

Well I just realised that day 21 is almost over for me. Sitting here drinking my herbal tea and getting ready to go to bed and read for a while. It's so good to go to bed and know that although I may not get the best sleep in the world, at least I am sober and won't wake up with a hangover.

Thank you to all the regulars here, and to the newbies for just being here, posting and supporting and lending a helping hand to each other. Bless you all.

**Lavande** · February 22, 2011, 07:49 PM

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Sounds like an OK day all around, that's great.

Carrie, you just fasten your nerst belt & hang in there - you'll be OK with us

A big congrats to you vintage girl on your 21 AF days!!!!

Prancy, you hang in there too. We don't always receive the support & respect from our loved ones. Sometimes they're just damn clueless. That's why the nest is a great place to park yourself until you feel strong enough to fly on your own

Well, another day of stork watching for me today. I'm beginning to wonder if storks get lost in snow storms......maybe their GPS stops working or something :H

Wishing everyone a comfy AF night!
Lav

**Jolie** · February 22, 2011, 08:34 PM

Newbies Nest

Good evening my fine feathered friends.

VG - isn't it just one of the best feelings in the world going to bed sober? My sleep is still sporadic but even when I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm happy, peaceful because I don't have the guilt and shame of knowing I drank into oblivion the night before. BTW - good job on your 21 days! 30 will be here before you know it!

Lav - I just know that ole stork will be droppin by real soon and you'll be holding your little grandbaby in your arms!

Prancy - I am sorry you feel like you've been betrayed - that must be a very lonley feeling but we are all here and we have big shoulders for you to lean on. Hang in there friend - things will get better for you.

Byrdlady - Hellooooo - you are so right - the first 2 weeks were definitely the hardest.

Carrie - keep reading and posting your thoughts here - it really helps.

Dancing and MHP - hey guys - hope you are having a great Tuesday evening.

Getting ready to turn in - up by 4:30 to start my workday so need all the zzzz's I can get.

Hope everyone enjoys their AF night!

Pleasant dreams.

**dancingon** · February 23, 2011, 01:12 AM

Newbies Nest

Glad to hear your folks are OK, Happy. That was a close shave for them. My son was there for a car rally 2 days before, so I'm really grateful.

Prancy and Carrie, hope you keep on trying to make your life better, whatever the family say. I know its hard to keep that resolve when you feel cornered or condemned, but I guess it's better than not caring.

Busy day today, travelling and working late. I've just been to Weight Watchers and I've lost 5kg, so yay! Only 3 more to go and I can switch to maintenance, not that I've felt deprived on the WW programme. Eating more fruit and veg has helped recover my health I'm sure.

People have talked about sleeping problems while trying to go AF. For some reason I have the opposite problem. When I drink I fall asleep quickly but I'm awake pretty much from 4am. Now I sleep quickly and deeply, but wake like a zombie. It takes a while for me to feel refreshed. However, I don't miss the shaking hands in the morning, the thick head and complaining liver.

Have a pleasant Wednesday.

**vintage girl** · February 23, 2011, 05:46 AM

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Lav, thanks for the support as always, and I hope the stork arrives soon!

Jolie, the only thing that beats going to bed sober is getting up in the morning hangover and guilt free! Amazing! and thanks, 30 days actually seems achievable now, when I started I thought otherwise!

Dancing, well done on the weight loss! So glad that you and Happy's folks are okay too. Also, I hope you lose that 'zombie' feeling, but you are so right. Anything is better than the shakes, the guilt, the sick feeling and the fuzzy head!

I hope you all have a great AL free Wednesday. I start late today so having coffee and a catch up with my darling daughter before work.

To all my fellow nestlings, have a fantastic and hopefully AL free Wednesday, we can do this together!

**Lavande** · February 23, 2011, 07:41 AM

Newbies Nest

Happy Humpday Nesters

I was just thinking............I feel much younger now that I'm nearly 2 years AF!
Waking up every morning sans hangover will do that for a person

OK, stork watch resumes!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday!
Lav

**prancy** · February 23, 2011, 12:17 PM

Newbies Nest

Good morning all. Beautiful but cold day out.
Lav, I think your stork is lost. I was late too and my feet got so swollen that I could barely walk but if your daughter can still keep running over to Ikea, she must be feeling okay!
Both husband and daughter being very friendly to me and I am being pleasant but very distant. I know that is childish since it is my behavior that caused this in the first place. But somehow I can't quite get past this.
Anyway, one day at a time and I am not drinking. Day 16 now and that is about all I can handle at this point.
Thanks for your replies and encouragement.

**Lavande** · February 23, 2011, 02:07 PM

Newbies Nest

prancy - you will get past your current feelings, I did.
But, whether you realize it or not it's not likely that you are solely responsible foir the family dysfunction.....everyone has a hand in. Keep to yourself for now if you need to - anything to keep your focus on your goal. Congrats on 16 days

Had to take a run out to do a few things but it was nice driving on dry roads in the sunshine. I now have 100 lbs. of chicken feed (2- 50 lb bags) in the trunk of my car. I can't move the freakin things into the chicken house myself so I hope my son or someone shows up in the next day or so to give me a hand

making myself some dairy free cream of broccoli soup - yum

**leaveinsilence** · February 23, 2011, 06:31 PM

Newbies Nest

So Glad everyone is doing fine and I'm glad to be back in the nest at the end of my day one..

Kept busy and cleared loads of junk from my wardrobes, got sent round the twist by the kids but love going to bed sober for the first time in a long time... I love that feeling of non AL induced sleepiness.

Night all:l

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