Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Everyone sounds great

prancy - I've mentioned this website several times but in case you haven't seen it yet - take a look. Developing a sense of gratitude about your sobriety is the best way to get through those tough times without the white-knuckling I think:
The ToDo Institute: Mindfulness, Procrastination, and Gratitude using Morita and Naikan Therapies
I've been a member there for several years but you can do a lot of free reading/learnng.

Well, believe it or not I just passed my final exam for an online course on building an effective website. My small biz needs a new website & I intend to design one - sometime this year :H

Kudos to everyone meeting their goals - glad you are all here
Lav

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone!

Lav - good for you! May I ask what kind of business you have? Must feel wonderful having that sense of accomplishment from completing your course.

VG & Prancy - I'm no expert and certainly not a long-timer but if the thought of never having a drink again is causing you so much anxiety, maybe thinking in the short term would be better? I think the more days you can get thru without the AL, the stronger your resolve will be to not slip/slide back to where you were. Holidays/vacations may seem tempting, but 3 weeks is still a long time. You may feel totally different when the time actually comes for that holiday and you find yourself being perfectly content with a non-al drink. I find it really helps me to drink from a glass that resembles (or is) a wine glass, but with something that actually satisfies my thirst and at the same time, resembles an AL drink. Cranberry juice certainly looks enough like a blush wine but tastes a whole heck of a lot better!

Hope as the time for your holiday draws closer, you can work out a plan so you don't feel like all your hard work has been for nothing.

Good luck to you my friends - the great thing about MWO is that no one ever judges you here and there will always be support and caring no matter what your situation.

[hillsidetime]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone, I hope you are well.

Lavande, I work with teenagers, and I cringe as well when they all party and plan all week about drinking and drugs. I know it is a stage, but it is not healthy. Movies, and as you say, social media, sure do glorify it too.
BlondeAFAmbition, we are on the same page for sure about perspective. That may be one of the catch 22 aspects of going sober; needing sober time to gain a true outllook, but not being able to get a true outlook on how much sober time is needed to do so.
Byrdlady, you should really be proud of yourself. 41 days, that is awesome. After about two months, I remember that things did get a little easier on the urges to drink spectrum. So hang in there, you can do it.
Vintage, thanks And great point about the BS adds at the end of the booze commercial.
Jolie, my wife has been very supportive. She is only starting to now understand how comfortable and sure I am that I chose to not have alcohol in my life. The social aspect of having to explain why I am not drinking, bugs her, I know - but that is no reason to change what I am doing. I always, in a low key way, figure out the "me not drinking" aspect, and it has never caused her any embarassment or anything. She is coming around I think. Our relationship is improving, more communication, and less anxiety, less tip toing around each other.

Have a great weekend everyone,
Hill

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Jolie, you are absolutely spot on with your comments about the fear factor of going on holiday. It is early days, and to look that far ahead is scary, so I am going to try not to worry about it. Already this morning I've been thinking in terms of how much better the holiday can be without the fog of AL, and tbh, it was always me that instigated the beer, the cava, the sangria, as hubby isn't much of a drinker. I have to be positive, and think how much more I am going to enjoy my favourite holiday place without the hangovers!

Lav, thanks for posting the link to that website, I am going to have a good look around there!

Hill, it's great to read about how much your relationship with the mrs is improving through your honesty.

Here4, dancing, prancy, and all who pop in to the nest today, hope you all have a fabulous AL free and satisfying friday!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning kids :H

TGIF & all that!
Great to see the sun again although it's still cold out there. I just happen to know for sure that Spring will be here soon

Hill, the worry about teenagers is never ending. I am grateful that my two kids got thru all that unscathed. Unfortunately my 18 yr old nephew did not. He had a 6 pack under his belt when he flipped his truck & killed himself. I can't begin to explain what that did to so many people.

Jolie, I retired from a 27 year nursing career & now own & operate a very small home based embroidery/monogramming business. I roll out of bed, grab my coffee & right into my shop in my jammies. Love the commute :H

vintage girl, honestly, try to not think about forever right now. I have found keeping myself in the present helps keep me calm & focused. Have yo read 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle? Great book, very helpful to me

Wishing everyone a great Friday!
I heading over to play with the new baby this afternoon :l

Lav

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Happy Friday Nesters!

Time to batten down the hatches and prepare for another sober (but fun!) weekend. Although what am I sayin'...I've just had my 2 days off and am heading in to work, and I work through the weekend. But, aw heck, life's still a fun ride, work or no work. Without AL that is!

Ditto what Jolie said about still using your wine glasses, just don't drink wine out of them! Part of what made me sad when I gave drinking 1/2 a box of wine a day is that I would miss holding my beloved wine glass in my hand. Over the years, would you believe I collected a whole slew of wine glasses? You betcha! Of course, only one out of each set of 4 that I bought survived, because the law of gravity proves that when you drunkenly set a glass on the edge of the counter, chances are, it's going to fall and smash into a bizillion pieces on the floor. This law is especially true if the glass has been filled to the brim with red wine and you are sitting on a white sofa...one that hasn't been treated with Scotch Gaurd! A glass is a glass is a glass. It's just a vessel designed to retain whatever you pour into it, whether it be water, juice, wine or jelly beans. A juice glass, wine glass or a pretty martini glass with bling on it (you know the ones...they are handpainted with colorful stems and may even have gemstones glued on them. The ones you always throw in the dishwasher even though you know it is a major fauxpaux), doesn't designate what you are going to put it it...a juice glass doesn't back talk to you screaming: "don't you dare put whiskey in me...I can only hold OJ"! I was guilty of pouring wine into a glass votive holder once, it didn't care that I wasn't drinking wax. My point? Don't pack those glasses away just yet. Bring 'em out, polish 'em up and grace them with your favorite non-alchoholic-tini. The other night, hubby was having a beer in his special Sam Adams glass, the one he ordered (especially for drinking, ummmm, Sam Adams), because of the way the lip of the beer glass is designed and the thickness of the glass. I guess it's supposed to make the brew taste better. Really. I think it's just a gimmeck but it makes him feel better so who am I to criticsize? I pulled out a martini glass from my cabinet, the jazzy one with cobalt blue swirls throughout it, filled it up with crushed ice, some diet gingerale and a squeeze of lemon. Looked just like some sort of fancy creation one would order at a nightclub! And to me, I was able to sip something non-alcoholic and refreshing, but still hold the glass in my hand...just like old times. So, if you miss this part of the drinking life and it's a weakness that might cause you to give in to that one drink just so you can have the wine glass in your hand, repurpose the glass and put something healthy in it, whatever it may be!

Peace out everyone, have a fabulous weekend!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

:H:H Blondie!

Most of my wine glasses did not survive the gravity test - believe me.
I felt better packing the rest of them away. Out of sight out of mind mentality works for me :H

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lav!

I totally understand the out of sight, out of mind thing, too. Whatever works for each of us in getting and staying sober, let's stick to our guns!

[Ida Belle]

Newbies Nest

Well...here I am. This is my first time and it's a curious feeling. I've spent the last month with no hard booze. I have had red wine only. Now I'm going to quit the red wine. I've spent the last hour making up my new identity. What a hoot.... "If you play the roll long enough, you finally become that person." I'm going to try this way out...

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I have 2 things to say about looking way ahead

My perspective at 44 days is different than the first couple weeks out....as everyone has said, the thoughts and pity parties wane ALOT! I have a business meeting next week involving overnight travel and dinner with coworkers and a client...Time was I'd be the life of the party. Now I am looking forward to remembering the evening and not making as ass of myself. Bottom line at this point of my thinking: I'm far less embarrassed about NOT drinking than I ever was when I did. Nobody else cares! Like my hubs says about weddings, the only people who care or want to be there is the bride and her mother!!!!
The other thing is this...when I first came here over a year ago. Day 1 was a big step. A milestone and a commitment. When I slipped and fell, Day 1 lost that....it was now an admission of AL beating me. Can you imagine now that we have all these days under our belts coming back here to Day 1? This keeps me strong, and THAT'S the power of this nest, at least to me. No drink is going to make me feel better than I do right now, with you all behind me. Stay strong all, Friday nights are the worst! xxoo, Byrdie

[prancy]

Newbies Nest

Thanks all for the motivating comments. I think you are right when you say to keep your eyes on the short term. I guess I should get through this weekend before I worry about a trip that is three weeks away.
Lav, I will take a look at that book - The power of Now. I may have to take that with me on my Nook e-reader.
Have a great weekend.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Prancy - I have my copy of 'The Power of Now' on my Kindle

Hello & welcome Ida Belle! Glad you found the nest. Settle in & fasten your nest belt, sometimes the ride is a bit bumpy. If you haven't already be sure to download & read the MWO book - you can get it right from the Health Store here

Congrats Byrdie, you sound so strong these days - great, isn't it?

[magdalana]

Newbies Nest

prancy;1069999 wrote: Thanks all for the motivating comments. I think you are right when you say to keep your eyes on the short term. I guess I should get through this weekend before I worry about a trip that is three weeks away.
Lav, I will take a look at that book - The power of Now. I may have to take that with me on my Nook e-reader.
Have a great weekend.

Hi,
The power of now is great, and a new earth is like a bible in our house, my husband and I each have our own copy!
More than once my husband has gone to his copy to cool off, nothing like Eckhart Tolle to help get rid of anger.
Mags

[magdalana]

Newbies Nest

Ida Belle;1069945 wrote: Well...here I am. This is my first time and it's a curious feeling. I've spent the last month with no hard booze. I have had red wine only. Now I'm going to quit the red wine. I've spent the last hour making up my new identity. What a hoot.... "If you play the roll long enough, you finally become that person." I'm going to try this way out...

Hi Ida,
I am with you act like the person you want to be!!
mags

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello All,

I ran out of time and couldn't pop in to say Hello this morning! Lots of great activity here as usual! I completely agree with staying in the moment -- what always gets me is projecting my "potential future failure" to the present and when I realize later what I've done, I'm so angry with myself!

Lav/Blonde -- you both had me chuckling with the broken wine glasses!! And I'm an Eckhart Tolle fan myself, you guys just reminded me I should pull out that book and dust it off!

Have a great weekend all!