Newbies Nest

[jennyneric]

Newbies Nest

Inchains. . .you pose an interesting question. One I will ponder during my silent, tech free weekend. IMO the only way something is so is if we think it is so, conversely if we don't think it is so it can still be so. If you think you have a problem then, in your opinion you do. You know? The only opinion that really matters is our own. The fact that you are searching for a formula to gage yourself against means you are trying to prove your theory however this is not a scientific equation, it is a feeling and a feeling can neither be proven or disprove because feelings are our own to have, never wrong or right. Try to separate the logical part of your brain from the "beast" in your brain and you will see the truth. Also pick up a copy of rational recovery, even if your not into it, the book makes so much sense. It puts all the feelings you are having into words so that you are better able to describe them.

Well there is my "deep" conversation for the night! Have a great weekend everyone! I went out with my hubby and his friends and they were all drinking and guess what. . .I arrived late, left early, and drank green tea! I can really do this if I would just get out of my own way long enough! Back to basics! Nite Nite!

[DSLR]

Newbies Nest

:new:

Hi I am a newbie having just joined today after finding this forum. Having read so many of the posts and seeing how supportive and encouraging everyone is, I already feel like I don't have to tackle this alone.

Why I am here is a long story, but the fact that I am sat here with yet another hangover probably says enough.

I gave up smoking on the 17th July 2010, which has gone suprisingly easily so far and I thought, rather naively that I could give up drinking or rather moderate it, just as easily. Needless to say, I can't and need to face up to the fact, as so many others have, that moderation for me is not an option.

But I just don't know if I can stop drinking wine. I really enjoy it and actually (rather sadly I suppose) spend quite a long time choosing a 'nice' bottle, then just throw it down my throat without really tasting it, then just move onto the second one which is usually cheap and cheerful as I know I won't even taste it by then, sad! I don't even drink anything else, but if I did, I am sure have a problem with it, so there doesn't seem much point in changing the 'drug'?

Sat here now I feel like I will never drink again, but...again like so many of you have said by tonight I will have justified it to myself as being 'the last time' or something similar. My health is being affected, I know that. I have been drinking heavily for about 5 years and don't want to waste any more of my life.

Anyway, sorry for boring everyone, I am just pleased to have found you all. Well done to those who have stopped and all the very best to those, like me, who want to.

:thanks:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Welcome DSLR! So glad you found us
Congrats on your decision to take back control of your life! I was a wine drinker myself & never, ever thought I would lose control but I did. I am much happier & healthier now that I'm in charge of my life again, you will be too! Congrats on quitting smoking too - that was much harder for me, honestly!
Be sure you download the MWO book from the Health Store, it's full of good info for you.
In the Monthly Abstinence section you'll find the Tool Box which has great ideas to help you make your plan. Keep checking in with us, we are happy to have you here!

Not sure yet how my day is going to unfold but I'm sure I will figure it out. Wonderful to see some sun & hear the birds chirping ~ Spring-like
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Saturday!

Lav

[hillsidetime]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone, I hope that you are having a nice weekend.

DSLR, welcome, and you are not boring us, it is nice to get to know a little about you. It sounds like you are really examining your relationship with alcohol, and that is important. We are here for you. Read and write lots.

InChains, I have given that thought so much attention over the past decade. I could always manage, my life, my job, my family, my drinking, so than I felt I did not have a problem. Some people use the term, functional alcoholic, some people don't like that term. Regardless, my drinking was slowly increasing as the years went on, and my power over alcohol was decreasing. This slippery slope seems to be very hard for the person involved to really get perspective on. Finally, I started screwing up, and couldn't do everything. Each person has their own relationship with alcohol, and you need to look at yours. I was drinking a great deal I think, to cope with problems in my marriage, and deal with some issues my wife was facing etc (and still drinking for all my normal reasons). Perhaps reflect on the reason or purpose of your drinking. The recommended 30 days of sobriety, is a good way to get some better perspective, and it can only help. I don't wish for you, or anyone, to end up at rock bottom like I did - so close to losing my marriage, my kids, and losing what little dignity that my drinking and drunk decisions had not already robbed me of.

Take care everyone,
Hill

[DSLR]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Lav and Hill for your kind words. Already today reading the posts from other members I have realised a lot of the thoughts and feelings I have are 'normal' when you struggle with alcohol. I don't feel so alone in my battle and feel I am amongst new friends

Wishing everyone a lovely weekend.

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Hi nest,

Just dropping by to wish you all a happy saturday

DSLR, welcome to the nest and MWO. I loved the honesty in your post, looking forward to hearing more about you. I am glad you feel less alone in your struggle, that's exactly how I feel here too.

Hill, Lav, hope you are enjoying your saturday

Bluejay, hope you got a good sleep and feel ready to tackle the day

Jenny, am off to google 'rational recovery', thanks for that

IC, would love to hear how you are feeling today about what you posted last. Let us know please

I am doing some spring cleaning, my cold is back with a vengeance today but I just have to get on with it.

Hope all my fellow nesters are having a fantastic weekend, thanks to all for being here. :h

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Wow, did I overdo the smileys or what? :H

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, I'll make this quick as I have company this evening. Thank you all for getting me thinking with your responses yesterday and i'd liek to say that you have all helped to make today a very positive day for me. That does not mean to say of course that i am not drinking tonight, however there is one key change in my thinking, perhaps the most important change. Today I realise that i have a problem. I am addicted. This problem will not go away alone. the last 2 days I have allowed myself to experience denial, for weeks now I have had more than my share of self pity. But now, though I still feel unable to do so, I find I am willing to change. i want freedom and help. And though I am still doing as I was before, I like to think that perhaps admitting that I have lost control is in itself a little victory for myself over the beast. I'll be back tomorrow

much love to all

-IC

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

InChains, I hope you continue to learn about yourself & this addiction. Baby steps will eventually get you to the place you need to be

Hoping to hear from some other Nesters - hope the weekend is going well for all!
Lav

[bugalugs]

Newbies Nest

This nester has been a bad boy over the weekend.
Will post more when I'm back on track.
(It's not even lunch time and I have a beer in my hand :upset

[bugalugs]

Newbies Nest

vintage girl;1080680 wrote: Wow, did I overdo the smileys or what? :H

Nothing wrong with too many smileys.
It made me smile
Nice effort VG, considering how I'm feeling ATM, thanks !

[Mema]

Newbies Nest

Good morning and happy Sunday! I hate to admit it but a couple of friends came over with cheese and wine Friday night and I was not prepared, ack..so I did drink on Friday night. But I am back on track since yesterday. Feeling good this morning!

Have a Day!

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys,

IC, so glad you are feeling positive. Deciding you want change is the first step to making change happen, right? Well done to you.

How's it going today Lav? I am having a quiet day today, hoping to finally shake this damn cold.

Lugs, glad the smileys cheered you up, hope you are feeling better

Mema, good to hear that you are back on track.

Have a super Sunday everyone!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Happy Spring

vintage girl, unfortunately we have to endure cold symptoms for 7-10 days, ugh! Maybe a little fresh air & sunshine will help

bugalugs, what happened yesterday? I hope you can pull yourself back into the nest soon.

Mema, being prepared for anything is a must to remain AF. We cannot control what others do only what we choose to do, right? Keep an arsenal of 'little white lies' if you have to to keep your quit. I've been creative.....on medication, counting calories, I'm driving, I have a headache, etc. - nowadays I just tell people No Thanks, I don't drink anymore & I feel much better!!!! And most importantly........I don't let anyone lecture or argue with me about the subject!

DSLR & IC, hope you are both feeling positive & working on your plans!

I spent some time yesterday with my new granddaughter, she's 3 weeks old already!
Hoping to get my 2 year old grandson & his parents here for dinner today - not sure yet.

Just heard we are to get rain/snow mix here tomorrow morning. Is that fair on the first full day of Spring? I don't think so!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Sunday!
Lav

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Good Sunday afternoon nesters!

Haven't been here since Thursday! Daughter took the laptop with her on a little trip and didn't get back exactly when she planned - happy to report that all is well on my end even though I missed everyone here at MWO, I thankfully found myself plenty busy doing things around the house and just enjoying this new life without alcohol.

To all those struggling here, I have been where you are my friends and for me, the turning point was when I decided that I am just so sick of the way my life was. I didn't want to deal with guilt, secrecy, constant trips to the liquor store, hiding the bottles, etc. etc. I know it's not easy for any of us and if there is any one thing I can tell you about making this decision, it's that your life will be so much better! Try not to think of alcohol as a friend because it is certainly not - it is your enemy and I equate it to poison. Now who wants to pour poison down there throat for a couple hours of numbness? The fact that you are admitting your small setbacks and are back here should give you hope and a sense that you are on the right track. Please look deep insides yourselves and ask yourself if you really want to continue living your life this way. That's what it took for me after many years of trying to stop - the realization that there had to be more to life than living for 5:00 every day.

Hope this wasn't too harsh - I just want you all to beat this demon so you can see how good life is without alcohol in it.

Lav - please do not say the "S" word - I just put all my turtlenecks away:H:H