Newbies Nest

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

:welcome: Aqua! Byrdlady is absolutely right and you are in a good place. Hope you will stick around and get to know us.

Byrdy - :goodjob: on 61 days - you are doing awesome!

Lav - never heard any thunder but the lightning scared the crap out of me this morning!

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

By my watch is is now 5.30pm, and I have yet to have that first drink I have also just submitted an application for art college, something I've wanted to do for many years and never had the courage to try - things are looking up

[Shiner]

Newbies Nest

Hi Aqua.. Welcome. Look forward to getting to know you...

Shiner

[jennyneric]

Newbies Nest

That is awesome InChains! You can do it, keep it going!

[aquamarine]

Newbies Nest

Thank you so much for your responses. It means so much to have people reach out who
truly know what this is like. Byrdie, thank you for the encouragement. I started here several years ago and did not drink for a pretty good period of time. I know that once I'm feeling good I lose that discipline and focus and it is slowly getting cemented in my head that you really
have to keep this goal of not drinking in the forefront or it gets you back everytime, completely and utterly predictable. I think I have to get in the mind set of the first time I tried to really stop drinking and how dedicated and focused I was, because it made all the difference. It just
seems hard to get the confidence in myself back. I feel like I lead an exhausting double life-
one at work and in public where I basically have it together, and another when I am alone and
living in this world of drinking. At this point I basically mainly drink alone which is really so
twisted. However, I am so used to it it has become normal for me. Thanks for listening- you
can't imagine how much I appreciate it. Aquamarine

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

Hey Aqua, nice to meet you I too was here a long time ago and ended up losing my way, but starting again is so much more important than not doing as well as you'd like the first time round. I wish you the best of luck in your efforts.

And to all who may be itnerested: made it to quarter past 6 - a personal best for sobriety in recent times

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Keep trying IC - you'll make it one of these days!

Aquamarine, welcome to the Nest
Use a nest belt & settle yourself in - the road to AFness can be bumpy as you know. Get a good plan together for yourself - don't fly by the seat of your pants!Use the ideas in the Tool Box, they really helped me. Also the Hypno CDs will help you change your thinking about AL!

Byrdie, congrats on your 61 AF days - Yay!!!
I totally agree with you - my fear is ever thinking I can drink or smoke again......just not possible!

Ended up having a much nicer day than I imagined after the stormy start this morning
Still waiting for daffodil blooms

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Double Life, Anyone?

I can sure identify with the double life. In public, I am the conservative professional...people at work have said in times past they were surprised I even drank...my family sure didn't know it. Hubs knew but not nearly the whole story. Jolie mentioned playing the piano again the other day...so over the weekend I thought I'd check out my old music books. To my disgust, I found a couple of empties I'd stashed in there and forgotten about. I was drinking alone....drinking to celebrate...drinking to relax...drinking to get thru a bad day...I was drinking when I didn't want to drink!!! I found reasons to go to the store and stash the wine in my big purse and pray hubs didn't notice the huge load I was carrying in it. Then exporting the empties a little at a time. Putting them in other people's trash so no one would see mine. I was a master at sneaking around and finding a way to get my supply. Hiding it in shoes and old purses...always hiding. I'm ashamed of all I did and I've never told a living soul about it, except on this board...where there are others who know about the sneaking and the panic when you think your supply won't last thru the days you've counted on. So when you speak of living a double life, I couldn't identify more. Feeding the Beast is a very demanding job. These days, I have such a sense of calm and peace. The decision is made and that's all there is to it. The past 2 months remind me of Dorothy on The Wizard of Oz...when she opens the door and it goes from Black and White to Color. It's such a sense of freedom. You can believe one thing here....if I can do it, you can do it too! First 3 days are the hardest and I would do it on a Monday and not a weekend (where I used to really shine!!!) I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to function without my friend.... Can you imagine? Being afraid to be without alcohol? That friend and that fear nearly cost me everything.... The fear should be being WITH alcohol!!! You can do this!! We can do this! Byrdie

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

thanks for the encouragement lavande, i am beiginning to suspect i will

out of interest, have you been on here since your AF date? I am almost certain I remember you

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

IC - I have been here every single day since Feb 2009!
I am happily addicted to MWO & also QuitNet.

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

pretty awesome addictions to have... but I wonder where you'd go if you needed to quit them? :P haha, glad to know I'm not going mad and I do remember you though

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone.

Back in the only place I know I can get the help I so desperately need.

My story - the condensed version - started January 2010 when I discovered this site. I did everything that RJ told me to (except take the meds) and boy! did it work for me. Six or seven months off the booze really was fantastic but then I started to slip away from here. Telling myself that when my anniversary came around, or when Christmas came or when I went on my cruise, I would be able to handle a drink because I had six months of sobriety under my belt...... Yeah right! That first drink lead to a black out and me peeing myself in public. Lovely!
That was October last year and it continued to escalate and the blackouts came more frequent. Back to asking my kids where I put something because I couldnt remember. Back to hearing my daughter ask her mummy if I was drunk because I was walking like "Allan does when he is drunk" . Back to the hangovers and desperation of "needing" a drink but not being able to have one because it was only 11am. Back to not knowing how I cut myself or where that bruise came from. Back to the lies I told to cover things up, back to hiding bottles so no-one knew I had drank that much. Back to making sure I had two bottles in the fridge so my husband would think I only drank one.

And now - back here asking for your help. Looking forward to opening the door and going from black and white to colour.

Hip

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

Nice to have you back Hip, seems the spring has brought alot of people back to MWO. I am sorry to hear you've had a hard time of late, it's all too easy to drift away from this place - thankfully the welcome here makes it even easier to come back! I wish you the best of luck in achieving your goals,

-IC

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Hippy Chick

Been there, done that, got the t shirt as I think most of us have, You know you'll get all the support you need here and well done for coming back, I know I need to be here right now..

You know the ropes sweetie

:l

[Mema]

Newbies Nest

Hello in chains..Good for you for applying to art school, that's a great incentive!

Aqua I believe you are in the right place..everyone is so supportive here.

Shiner I am so impressed with your progress, Good for you!!!

Yay Byrd for 61 days!!! WOW!

I am getting ready to watch the Joy Luck Club movie. Then to bed, I have an early morning at work. I hope everyone has a safe and cozy AF evening!