just checking in, glad to see eveyrbody doing so well today
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just checking in, glad to see eveyrbody doing so well todayI have faced it, a life wasted, and I am never going back there again
To ya'll my name is inchy. I am an alcoholic - and priority number one is making it to the end of this day AF. No excuses.
18.08.13
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Newbies Nest
hey everyone...I wish I was (were?) in the position to post lots of helpful stuff here but its been a tough week. Dealing with my mother who for the umpteenth time was on her way out....end stage COPD - for - seriously - the past 8 or 9 years...it's an emotional roller coaster...and lots of guilt on my part for wanting it to be over with....lost sleep, used alcohol as a crutch - never got drunk - but still felt bad for using it at all..I guess my 30+ days hadn't prepared me for a main trigger for me. And to top it off, she rallied back and is doing great at the moment (but we've been told it will be short lived)....so sit back and wait for the next time.
We also had ALL of our snow melted over the weekend, and woke up Mon (?) AM to 6" of fresh heavy wet snow. ugh. Sometimes, you just feel so icky - you figure how much worse can AL make it? I know, I know - LOTS worse...I kinda wish I hadn't read over and over how almost everyone relapses....maybe I wouldn't have been expecting it...I don't know how I can go from one day feeling on top of the world and completely empowered by the sober clean living life - to the next day not feeling like I care one way or the other.....
sorry for the downer post...running back to the nursing home.~
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
Sobriety date: Sept 26, 2011
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Newbies Nest
Lav a friend got me interested in the power of Angels a few years, I have cards which I use for guidance for both myself and friends and most of the time things I've asked advice over have happened, even things obscure or a low chance of an event occuring the cards saying it will happen, of course it depends on different peoples beliefs or interpretation but for me personally there is something in it.
Well aren't I becoming the social butterfly? Another invite out,this time lunch for a friends birthday next week and i know that there will be no alcohol to have to worry about, talk about everything coming at once.
Once again hubs has praised me about how well i've been doing, he asked if i was missing Al and i said yes, and he was sympathetic about it, i just wish he had been like this last year, but oh well never mind that was the past, In Chains thats great to hear that you fiance is going to work with you after your talk. So great you'll have his support.
Spent a lovely afternoon planting seeds with my youngest, i'm creating a garden area especially for the kids, so we're having a go at growing veggies in pots, i'm loving being so much more patient and tolerant with them right now, just sad at having missed out on so much time doing this kind of thing with them in the past.
Have a good afternoon evening wherever you areWHAT CAN I SAY? I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE..
Just taking it day by day.......
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Newbies Nest
InChains - can you tell us what happened? It's a roller coaster ride for sure - just keep coming back here - you know we aren't going to beat you up about it so you make sure you do the same! You are still here so that means you are still trying. Haven't seen anyone around here who gets it right the first time (and for many of us, it takes more than several times). You know you are not alone and we are here to help in whatever way we can. :l
LoLab - I've missed seeing you and wondered if it was your mom. Please don't be too hard on yourself and try not to get too obsessed with the number thing - think of all the AF days you have had - maybe not all in a row but certainly better than you were doing a month or so ago - right? Dealing with our seriously ill parents can be heartbreaking, stressful, and frustrating all at the same time - was where you are just a year ago and I know what you are going through. You are only human and don't beat yourself up for your thoughts either. I'm here for you - pm me if you feel like talking.
Leave - great to hear your hubby is being supportive - better late than never - right?
Birdlady - you crack me up! I admire the fact that you aren't tempted by a half-drank(or whatever you call it) glass of wine in the fridge. Finally had to get rid of all of it in my house (including the Kalua that I used for "cooking" purposes) as it was just too darn tempting.
Lav - I like the idea of Archangels being all around us - we all could use a little help now and then - no matter where it comes from.
Chilly here - not going to warm up for like the next week but I know spring's got to be coming sooner or later!
Have a great night everyone!Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
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Newbies Nest
Beachbump...I have a good friend with many years of sobriety who is a life coach and also practices Buddhism. I asked his permission for you to contact him and he said to try his e-mail. So if you are interested in trying his practice his name is Scott and his e-mail is Scott@your-true-purpose.com Good luck in your search. I hope you can find peace.
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Newbies Nest
Morning my friends.
Woke up early this morning (courtesy of the canine alarm clock next door), feeling SOOOOO much better. Jolie you mentioned a roller coaster ride - yep sure is. Compared to what I was feeling last night this is the exact opposite. YAY.
And the reason I have to do extra zumba classes Jolie is that all those bottles of wine have found a place to store them selves - on my hips, boobs and tummy..... 4 kilos worth..... so have to get rid of them because that is another thing that makes me feel blah.
Lav - I think you might be right. I need to feel gratitude for all the things I DO have not all the things I dont have. I really have nothing to feel deprived about. We have everything we need. I will check that link you posted. Thanks. I am actually taking anti-depressants at the moment but when I feel OK again, I might look into Amoryn as I dont like one of the side effects of Zoloft.
I was worried about it being Friday with end of week drinks etc, but just remembered that I have to cook some cakes for a fund raiser tomorrow for the Riding for the Disabled as they are trying to raise some money. So that will take care of keeping me busy tonight. It's funny how things we dread can be turned around so easily. Just need to look for it.
Hope you all have a good day.
HippyI finally got it!
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become" Buddah
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Newbies Nest
lolab & IC - whatever is going on in your lives just try to remember that's it's temporary. Things are always changing & you can use these changes to move forward in a positive & healthy way. Drinking never helps any situation & always leaves you feeling worse.
lolab, I am a retired nurse & know what you are going thru with your Mother, I'm sorry. Hopefully she will find peace soon - just take care of yourself. I've been thru it all with my parents & in-laws as well.
Jolie, it must have been an Archangel that brought me back after I suffered a pretty severe accident nearly 11 years ago
Mema, good to see you, hope you are well.
It is downright cold tonight & if I wasn't so lazy I'd light a fire........
Hope everyone stay safe & warm in the Nest tonight.
LavAF since 03/26/09
NF since 05/19/09
Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:
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Newbies Nest
Good Friday morning Nesters!!!!
I'm seeing sunshine today, nice
Hope to hear everyone's weekend plan.........you gotta have a good plan to survive the weekend AF
Have a great day!
LavAF since 03/26/09
NF since 05/19/09
Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:
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