Newbies Nest

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Hi and welcome kelli. Well done on making that decision to take your life back. Stick around and share here, it is a wonderful place for support! :welcome:

[mollyka]

Newbies Nest

Hiya All!! Quick pop back to my 'safe place'! I want to join in the congrats to the lovely Lav. She is a wonderful lady who welcomes us all and always has the kind and wise words. She also welcomed me a while ago when I was bewildered by my drinking, my life, and even by this place and she minded me until I felt brave enough to flutter my wings a little out of the nest.
:thanks::thanks::thanks: Thank you so much Lav, and millions of congrats on your 2 years, and without ANY doubt in my mind I know it is just the first 2 of many many more years:goodjob:

Great to see you all thriving here, I don't check in too often, the site went a bit dead some months ago when a member ticked a few of us off for being too flippant! This getting sober thing is hard work sometimes, noone would deny that, but a bit of fun can do more for us than we prob realise at the time! Great to see you back too Hipster - just like the old days huh?!!!
Molly

[Mema]

Newbies Nest

:bday7::kudos:Congratulations on two years Lavande!! And a big thank you for always posting and helping all of us find our way. You are really an inspiration!!!

The fish fry was AWSOME, I tried pailki which is the Greek way to cook the fish and I also had a bite of my friends fried fish, yummy! I didn't drink (YAY) and while I do not have a solid row of AF days out of the last 15 days I have only fallen twice and got right back on track. I am rather pleased with my progress and am feeling great. It is spitting snow here and so my outdoor plans have been squashed but I plan to make it a positive day anyway!

Congratulations to all of us for coming back here and trying to get on with our lives AF!! ALL of you are an inspiration.

ox Mema

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters!

Lav - CONGRATULATIONS!!! You are awesome neighbor! Like everyone before has said, such an inspiration to the rest of us. Like someone else said, you could have just gone on with your sober life and said adios to MWO but you chose to stay. I don't think you can even begin to imagine how many people you have helped because of that decision (I'm one of them)

Kelli :welcome: You are definitely in the right place to "take your life back" and that's exactly how it feels once you gain control over the alcohol instead of it having control over you.

If you look around this little nest of ours, you see people from all over the world, at all different stages of this journey - we are like our only little family and I am eternally grateful for each and every one of you. Let's all help each other through this shall we?

Now last night was Friday, I think most of you will agree that Friday is one of the hardest nights out there - end of the week - don't we deserve a drink after getting through that? Had a humongous(?) urge last night - hubby ran out to get some parts for his car, and thoughts of running a couple of miles down the road to get myself "just 1 bottle" of wine would just not leave my head. It was almost like I was two different people. My sensible side kept reminding me how crappy I would feel this morning and why give up all the progress I've made so far? I would be so disgusted with myself, but the other side just wouldn't stop - happy to report that I didn't cave but jeez - I'm like 80+ days into this and was pretty certain I was past these really strong urges. Guess that goes to show that we can never let our guard down. Up early and getting things done this morning and so, so grateful that I didn't give into temptation last night and that I had all my friends here to turn to. Thank you one and all.

Now let's make it a super, sober Saturday - heh?

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters and welcome Kelli! You came to a good place.

Vintage, Leave thanks for your words of encouragement!

Jolie, I have been there and unfortunately I let that "other person" win. Thanks for posting I think it will help lots of people who reach that crossroad! I know you feel great that you didn't give in to that urge today!

Molly and Mema great to hear from you and all to come today! It's gorgeous weather and a wonderful day to be AF!!

[Georgie]

Newbies Nest

Hello all, this is my first post. I am an alcoholic for 15 years. I'm done with it! I hope this will be the first day of a better me. I want that to be the case, although I have tried many times before and failed. I am so ashamed of myself I can't handle the guilt anymore.

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Georgie,

Just posted on your other thread here but also wanted to add that shame and guilt were what I woke up with every single day. Promising myself I wasn't going to do it again until 5:00 rolled around and then for some reason, didn't remember that awful feeling of shame and guilt.

You are here and that's all that matters right now. Please stop beating yourself up right this minute and be proud of the fact that you have taken a step towards dealing with your drinking problem.

You will find lots and lots of help and support here. There is hope and I truly believe you can find it here. Hang in there!


:l

[Mema]

Newbies Nest

Hi Kelli and Georgie welcome to a safe and non judgmental place. I have founds lots of help and understanding!

Settling in for a quite Saturday night. Just me , my dogs, a book and some mint tea. I hope everyone has a wonderful AF Saturday evening. See you tomorrow!!!

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

Hey all, checking in with a few thoughts and a question for you all. The last couple of days I've been thinking alot about why I haven't made any real leaps forward in the past couple of weeks and of coruse I've come to the conclusion its down, almost entirely, to fear. What if I find when i quit its not that hard, that this was a choice and I was in control all along? what if i find out the opposite? and, most importantly, what if I find that when I stop, these horrible feelings are still there? so many questions I'm asking myself all the time so I wanted to know - to all the AFers on here, were you scared to stop? and if so how did you get over that?

[dancingon]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Kelly and Georgie. Find a twig and settle in.

In Chains - good question. Most of us are afraid to quit. The jury is out as to whether it's a choice you make, or a disease you have, and I think it might be different for different people. I didn't start drinking out of control until my mid 40s, so I have a hard time accepting that it's a disease for me. It was a choice to stop the limitations I'd felt comfortable with all my life and deliberately medicate my unhappiness at the time. Now I'm stuck with the fallout. For others it seems to be a hereditary tendency and it is really helpful for them to view it as a disease from which you can recover if you stick with the treatment.

In my experience it is never as hard to give up as you think. But I've been there several times. Staying stopped is the problem for many of us. The fact that I drank occasionally and moderately throughout my early adult years makes it harder for me to accept that I can't get that back and just drink like other people. However, something has shifted for me and I drink differently now, even if I drink moderately, which makes me feel I may give it away altogether.

As for the future, time will tell. I know that it takes at least a month, possibly more if you have been drinking a lot, for your body to get rid of the toxins and shed the depression bought on by alcohol. Around that time you start to get yourself back, or a new self if you have been drinking so long you don't have a memory of that old self. I know you get your motivation back and you get healthier and at that point you can start to plan for things you want to do.

Ask yourself why you need to stop.

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Morning all.

Inchains - good questions. I was petrified to stop drinking. I thought I would become a different person and to be completely honest I did. In some ways the person I became was a better person - I felt I could hold my head up high when I went out into my community without thinking that everyone knew my dirty little secret, I was less selfish as when I was drinking I would not let anyone ruin my plans to get drunk - even my kids came second (which I hate to admit, but it is true). But I also became frustrated and annoyed as when I wasnt drunk I couldnt handle social situations as well, so I blamed it on the fact I wasnt drinking rather than work out what it is that I felt and why. I felt like I didnt have much fun when sober and felt deprived. I used the excuse that AL makes me more fun - which it did because I didnt do any thing to change that.
But the truth is it wasnt the fact that alcohol takes away the fear I have. It just MASKS it. the fear is still there, it just doesnt matter because I am numb. The reason I lost the plot and relapsed is because I didnt do any work to fix or face up to the things that frightened me. I knew I had to work on it but didnt. I became complacent.
But this time it is different.
DSLR well done on making a plan. It really is an important strategy to making this work.
MyLife - good on you for coming back. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Kelli - welcome. I like what you said about "taking your life back". That is a good way to look at it.
Jolie - well done on fighting that urge. Although you are well into your sobriety you will still face different battles. I thought that once the initial cravings went that there wasnt anything I had to fight. I was wrong.
Georgie - welcome. I know exactly what you feel when you mention the shame and guilt you feel. It is all part of the vicious hold AL has on us. It feels so good when the shame and guilt goes. Good luck.
I know I have been rambling on and on, but just wanted to mention how my party went last night. I didnt even entertain the thought of having a drink.... YAY! I did realise how boring social situation can be without a belly full of wine. So I made the effort of doing all that AL does for me like contribute to a conversation, sit back relax and enjoy the people's company not expecting anything more than what it was. So I was pleased to realise that I can handle a social situation but I have to do the work - not the AL!
Hope you all have a fantastic Sunday and I will shut up now :H
Hip

[kelli]

Newbies Nest

Hippie Chick, Love the "Good Morning." It's 8:30 Sat night here. I have friends in New Zealand who sometimes forget and call me at 10 pm. The world is a big place but the internet makes it a lot smaller.

Congrats on your party success and enjoy your day

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Still Saturday night here Kelli, 10 pm.

Just wanted to drop back in & say thanks again for all the well wishes today, means a lot to me!

And welcome Georgie! I hope you already know that MWO is a good place, the Nest is the first placed I landed when I arrived more than two years ago.
If yuo haven't already be sure to download & read the MWO book to help you get started. You can get it right in the Health store here. And use the great ideas in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html to help you make your plan. Shame & guilt go along with AL - I think we can all attest to that. But you can end that cycle right now - it is your choice!

IC, about fear........YES, I was very fearful when I started out! I drank to avoid dealing with certain problems in my life. When you get to the point where you just know that you have to quit, then you just have to do it! Turns out there really is nothing to fear. With a clear head you can handle those problems much more effectively. But you won't really know that for yourself until you try! Just keep trying until you make it, you won't be sorry.

Hope everyone has a good night/day in the Nest!
Lav

[DSLR]

Newbies Nest

Good morning and afternoon to everyone.

Just sitting here listening to the birds chirping away, with my fat old French cat sat on my lap, reading the posts on MWO and thinking to myself how lucky I am for finding you all and for finally taking steps to a much better future, thank you.

Hippy Chick I am so glad you had a good evening and you outlined your concerns and how you dealt with them. This is probably one of my major fears and blocks to addressing my drinking. I was always the 'funny one' 'like and sole of the party' etc. etc. but as the years went on and my drinking got worse I just made an ass of myself to the point where I just didn't socialise anymore at all, which is where I am now.

Just reading how you took on the party and made it a positive experience for you has given me another part to my long term plan and I feel much more confident about starting to think about socialsing in the future, thank you.

It's only 0843hrs here and I have learnt something today already! it's going to be another 'good day' I think!

Wishing you all a lovely Sunday.

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon nesters! Well, last night was the closest I have come to giving in.HUGELY tempted. Got a wee thread going on here to distract myself and it worked, and today I am so thankful.

Welcome georgie, you have found really good place here, stick around :welcome:

IC, I was afraid to stop too, I think we all are because we see AL as some kind of crutch or support. Have you read Allen Carr? That book kind of changes the way you look at AL. I know it helped to give me perspective.

Hippy, congrats on getting through the party, not just getting through it but enjoying it without AL!

Lav, DSLR, Kelli, dancing, mema, my life,l it's so good to have you all here.

Have a sunny Sunday afternoon on my hands, going to do some gardening with a clear head, I am so thankful today. Have a super sober Sunday everyone!