Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Jolie, it snowed here until late morning, changed to rain (which melted the snow) & now the sun is out!!!!

Shiner :l

Bluejay, no need to sneak into the nest - good to see you!

Andrew, congrats on your 19 AF days - great job!
About the pub party - IF you really think it's going to threaten your sobriety then just don't go! I stayed glued to my home for nearly three months when I started. Losing my quit was just not an option!!! IF you do choose to go, go with an attitude of gratitude for your hard work & sobriety. Go knowing that you will wake up the next day feeling great

Hello to everyone who has dropped in so far today

[coalfire]

Newbies Nest

Hi Andrew. Im from Ireland too. I m on day 67 and to be honest I have mostly avoided pubs. I find that a quarter of an antabuse helps through high risk situations. I took one for paddys day. Good luck tonight.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Andrew, so proud of you and your string of days! With our time difference, you are probably already over the evening (Southeast US)....but the other night when when I was out with coworkers, I just told people that I'd rather eat my calories than drink them. I'm trying to lose a few (yes the same 10 pounds for almost 40 years now). No one cared altho some asked me what sort of diet I was trying to follow, then they lost interest and moved on....it was no big deal...I hope you find the same.

[jennyneric]

Newbies Nest

I looked and looked and looked for this the other day and I found it today so I'm posting it here because someone may find it helpful to get them through the night. . .as I will.

1. Don’t underestimate your disease. Every single person does at first.
2. Take care of yourself spiritually. Be mindful of your connection to your higher power today.
3. Ignore the dismal relapse rates. You are creating your own success.
4. Make a zero tolerance policy with yourself concerning relapse. Don’t even allow your mind to go there.
5. Avoid fundamentalism, even in recovery. Rigid thinking and dogma can undermine your sobriety.
6. You are creating a life of recovery and you are responsible for ALL OF IT. Yes, others can help you. Their “help” is mere advice. It is up to you to recover.
7. Don’t confuse enthusiasm for action. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober and then do it.
8. Listen to what the relapsing addicts keep preaching. Then do the opposite.
9. Take care of your social network. Reach out to others in a meaningful way.
10. Figure out a way to help other addicts or alcoholics.
11. If you attend 12 step meetings, find one to start chairing. Consider H&I meetings (taking meetings into jails and treatment centers).
12. Use mindfulness and a heightened awareness to overcome ego. Use meditation to overcome self.
13. Practice forgiveness. Forgive all your past transgressors. Forgive yourself. You must do this to get long term relief from resentment.
14. Be aware of diminishing returns, and spread out your recovery efforts (i.e., don’t focus on just “spiritual” growth).
15. Rearrange all the furniture in your house. Anything to get through the night sometimes.
16. Clean your house from top to bottom. Same as above.
17. Go for a long walk.
18. Buy a pet and care for it.
19. Eat a gourmet meal.
20. Cook a gourmet meal.
21. Practice the arts. Paint, draw, sculpt, sing, dance. Etc.
22. See a therapist.
23. Work on a puzzle.
24. Connect with someone else who is hurting.
25. Start a project that is bigger than yourself.
26. Revisit an old hobby.
27. Teach someone something. (Anything!)
28. Learn something new each day. (Anything!)
29. Write in a daily journal.
30. Stretch yourself spiritually by suspending disbelief for a day.
31. Write a letter to your addiction where you say farewell to it.
32. Join a recovery forum online.
33. Start a free blog over at blogger.com and tell the world about your progress in recovery. Figure out your own tips on staying sober.
34. Reconnect with your family and spend time with them.
35. Go back to school.
36. Learn a new skill or trade.
37. Sponsor a newcomer.
38. Make a commitment to chair a meeting each week.
39. Celebrate the recovery of a friend.
40. Spend time with your family.
Photo by rene_ehrhardt
41. Email the spiritual river guy and tell him your problems.
42. Celebrate your clean time with a cake.
43. Write out a gratitude list.
44. Read through your old journal entries and see how much you’ve changed.
45. Try a new form of meditation (or make up your own…there is no “wrong” here). Some of the best tips to stay sober come from within.
46. Write out a to-do list and cross each thing off as you accomplish it.
47. Always have a big goal in the back of your mind that is challenging for you, but would make your day if you met it.
48. Practice balance. Challenge your daily habits.
49. Practice humility. Always be in “learning mode.”
50. Forgive yourself and move on with your life.
51. Sit down and write 2 goals out for yourself: one big one and one little one. Keep the paper in your pocket.
52. Inspire someone else to grow. Challenge them to be a better person in some way. Encourage them through your own success.
53. Learn to relax. Find your quiet place of rejuvenation and return to it often.
54. Elevate your consciousness. Watch your own mind and see how it responds to events. Repeat often. Learn.
55. Find the beauty in life. Appreciate all of it. Be grateful for beauty itself.
56. Ask yourself with each decision: “Is this the healthiest choice for me right now?”
57. Quit smoking cigarettes already.
58. Be grateful for existence.
59. If you go to the same AA meetings all the time, switch it up and go to a completely new meeting.
60. Write a poem about how you are overcoming addiction.
61. Turn off your television and read a book. Better: read recovery literature. Best: write your own recovery literature.
62. Use overwhelming force to conquer a goal.
63. Use the Sedona method to release emotions that are holding you back.
64. Write your bucket list. Then, act.
65. Figure out your life purpose.
66. Write out a fourth step and share it with your sponsor.
67. Take care of yourself physically. Exercise. Take a walk. No excuses.
68. Keep your priorities straight. Physical abstinence is number one. Simple and effective.
69. Keep a high price on your serenity. Don’t sacrifice it for just anyone and their whims.
70. Use a sponsor for stage 2 recovery. Let them guide you through holistic living.
71. Take care of yourself mentally. Go back to school. Get that degree.
72. Find your own path. It is your responsibility to do so.
73. Practice humility and stay teachable. Always be learning.
74. Go to long term treatment and be done with it. Best decision I ever made.
75. Don’t pin your hopes on a short stay in rehab. It takes more than that.
76. Call your sponsor.
77. Get a sponsor.
78. Use a zero tolerance policy when it comes to self-pity. Never allow it for yourself ever again. Ever. It is poison.
79. Read recovery literature.
80. Join a recovery forum.
81. Use outpatient treatment if that works for you. Take it as seriously as possible and connect with the others in your group.
82. Meditate.
83. Pray.
84. Go out for coffee with a friend in recovery.
85. Find your passion.
86. Work out.
87. Join a church.
88. Volunteer.
89. Take care of yourself emotionally. Don’t get knocked too far off your square.
90. Stay vigilant against potential relapse. The disease can find many routes (gambling, prescription drugs, sex, etc.).
91. Go to a meeting.
92. Don’t pin your hopes on long term treatment. It takes a lifetime of learning for alcoholics and recovering drug addicts to recover.
93. Use long term strategic thinking. Care for yourself, network with others, and pursue conscious growth.
94. Don’t ask “why me?” Instead, ask “how can I create the life I really want now?”
95. Call a friend in recovery.
96. Sit down and write out a gratitude list.
97. Don’t live in fear of relapse. I wasted 5 years on this. Embrace the creative life and know you are strong in recovery.
98. Get extreme. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober…then double it and add ten. That’s how hard you have to push yourself.
99. Raise the bar. Stop settling. Use your talents as a gift to the world and make a difference in some way.
100. Live consciously. Set deliberate goals and go after them with overwhelming force.
101. Embrace the creative life in recovery and live holistically.

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

coalfire;1088877 wrote: Hi Andrew. Im from Ireland too. I m on day 67 and to be honest I have mostly avoided pubs. I find that a quarter of an antabuse helps through high risk situations. I took one for paddys day. Good luck tonight.

Yeah, I figure that's what's going to have to happen! Thanks for the support folks, I appreciate it. I have to make an appearance at the party so I'm going to leave it as late as possible. It's just gone 9 and I think it'll be half 10 or 11 by the time I get there. If there's someone sober to chat to, great, I'll stay for a while, otherwise I'll slink off quickly enough and look forward to my favourite moment of the week: waking up fresh and happy on a Saturday morning and having a leisurely breakfast while reading the newspaper. It's the simple things...

[coalfire]

Newbies Nest

I will look out for you in the morning Andrew.I think you are right to cut it short.Remember the old AA adage tonight. THINK THINK THINK! good luck.

[Bluejay]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone,

Does anyone live with someone who drinks? I do. Any suggestions? It will always be in the house.

Thanks,

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

hey all, quick check in as I have company, interview for a new job went well today and I'm busily preparign for my art college interview on Monday, will try and check in between working tomorrow. Hope everybody is doing well and I'll catch up on the latest comigns and goings tomorrow

[coalfire]

Newbies Nest

Bluejay. I live with a fairly big drinker(but non alkie). I dont mind him drinking but I would have no problem asking him to keep it out of the house. He knows me so he wouldnt have it in the house. He does his drinking in bars with his friends and our house is an AF zone. It seems to work.

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello All,

I was out of touch for a day or so, but happy to report I'm AF and enjoying a nice diet Root Beer this evening!

Nice to hear everyone so positive on a Friday night. Andrew I wish you luck at the Pub -- I actually went to a party on day 20 and I drank Sparkling Water and other than one comment no one noticed! I felt really great at the end of the evening and felt even better when I woke up the next morning refreshed. Stick to your goal!

Blue, my husband drinks only occasionally. We do have some AL in the house but it's up in his study out of sight and mind most of the time. If you're having an issue could you possibly ask the person not to keep it in the house - even termporarily?

Jenny, Lav, Hippie, InChains, Coal, Jolie, Vintage, great to hear from you all. Have a great Friday night!

[Bluejay]

Newbies Nest

Hi Coalfire,

Neither of us go to bars or pubs. More like at home wine drinkers. That's great he is supportive of you.

[Bluejay]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Mylife,

I've tried that before - you know - many times. I guess I just have to get over it.

[coalfire]

Newbies Nest

Thats hard bluejay. I couldnt do this with alcohol in the house.Lets see...could you ask him to maybe bring in what he needs only as and when he needs it. It might mean buying a mini single dose bottle of wine on the way home rather than a big bottle that sits in the fridge for days. Is your OH happy to talk about your problem or do you just not go there? We dont talk about my problem. My OH doesnt like to.I dont mind really-he is more the strong silent type so I would get a shock if he started talking at this stage! Have you told your OH the extent of your fears concerning alcohol. He might not realise how big this is and not realise that alcohol in the house is a big danger.Its hard to give you advice when we dont know the status quo in the bluejay house

[Bluejay]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Coal,

My OH knows. This has been going on for a long time for me and I'm open about. I talk about it all the time. I read recovery, mm, harm reduction books openly. I complain about feeling like crap. He puts the responsibility in my lap which is where it should be but.....it's difficult when I hear the wine bottle popping or the drink being mixed. Talk about triggers. This is a health issue for me - at this point. Thanks for your support.

[jennyneric]

Newbies Nest

Blue Jay, my OH drinks but I drink vodka and he drinks beer, I hate beer and he hates hard liquor so there is not prob, except one, when he get drunk (which is nightly by 8 or so) it either triggers me or pisses me off. That is the hard part. Normally it pisses me off. I have had a drinking problem for 2 years or so, he has been drinking for 15 years. I would never ask him to stop, he gets drunk nightly but he does not have a problem with AL the way I do. No hangovers, no embarrassing or shameful behavior. It's just him being him.