Newbies Nest

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone

Had a really busy day! Went shopping, visited my Mum, and got a whole load of spring cleaning done!

Now, normally (or abnormally depending on how you look at it lol)spring cleaning would involve a 'reward' ...nice hot bath, glass of wine (followed by the rest of the bottle and probably opening another!)

My reward tonight is being sober, sharing a nice meal with my lovely husband and being compus mentus enough to actually carry out an adult conversation. :H

I hope all of my fellow nesters are enjoying their weekend. I know the weekends can be tricky guys and I am thinking about all of you. Off to eat my dinner, have a great night! :l

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

wish me luck guys, first night out with the girls and i'm determined to come home sober, took plenty of l glut, got enough fizzy juice with me to last about a month and i'm ignoring the rose i bought for the girls, actually it has been sat on the unit for about 3 weeks and hasn't bothered me, so why should it tonight right?
I'll report in later lovely and sober

Hope you all have a good evening day wherever you are.

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

You can do this leave, let us know how you get on :l

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

Congrats to Jolie and DSLR on your success, and good luck Leave! Huge thanks to everyone for being so nice and supportive to me the last couple of days

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Happy Sa!urday Nest!

I'm on Day 16 now. I feel very determined. My husband and I are going to a comedy show later and I've already told him I plan to have a virgin colada (it will be like dessert). We are enjoying a lovely day together.

Congratulations Jolie and DSLR on your days adding up!! Vintage, you described what a Saturday would have been for me in the past! And you're right no conversation would have made sense or been remembered by me! :H

Lav, hope you survive the storms. You will have beautiful May flower soon!

Leave, good luck on your night out - you can do this!

Hope you all enjoy your AF Saturday evenings/Sunday mornings wherever you are! :l

[coalfire]

Newbies Nest

I found this in the longterm mods section and thought it would be a good one for the newbies who are wrestling with the moderate/dont moderate issue.


Here is an extract from the Responsible Drinking book by Frederick Rotgers:

Most People with Alcohol Problems Are Not Alcoholics
Due to questions about the adequacy of the nation’s systems for dealing with alcohol problems, the NIAAA (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism) called upon the prestigious Institute of medicine (IOM) of the National Academy of Sciences to study and report on this area.

In its 1990 report, IOM found that for every one alcoholic, there are approximately three problem drinkers who are at risk for serious health problems as a result of their drinking, but who do not meet the criteria for the clinical diagnosis of alcoholism, which is called alcohol dependence…..

..These problem drinkers have some problems related to their control over their drinking, and they may drink often and excessively, and may even take dangerous risks like drinking and driving. But they have not developed the near total and consistent loss of control over drinking, and the series of repeated negative consequences related to it, that marks alcoholism. A classic problem drinker is the college student who engages in binge drinking or the housewife whose nightly glass of wine turns into a nightly bottle. These problem drinkers can usually stop or moderate when they wish to.

This sentence applied to me

"the near total and consistent loss of control over drinking, and the series of repeated negative consequences related to it, that marks alcoholism"

...so moderation is out for me. My off switch is broken. I did not drink that often but when I did,I couldn't stop. I believe that its not about how often you drink or about how much you drink. Instead it is about WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DRINK.
Anyway I just thought I would share it with you.
_____________

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

i feel better for that, marks me as a non-alcoholic I'd reckon, life is good

[coalfire]

Newbies Nest

Im glad you are not an alcohoiic. I wouldnt wish it on anyone. I hope Im not encouraging people to throw caution to the wind and hit the bar. I posted it because I was in knots over this. I kept getting confused because some people could moderate and some couldnt and I had friends who got drunk at weekends but they were not alcoholics so was I? etc etc etc. I think that this article at least helps people to look at what matters. If I had got this LOSS OF CONTROL idea a lot earlier I could have saved myself a lot of sleepless nights. It can be really really hard for the high functioning binge drinking alcoholics like me(2 nights per week max 3) to know whether or not they ARE alcoholics(and whether then moderation is safe)

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

I can't drink 2 or 3 nights a week, I can limit how much but not how many days, if i'm drinking its a lifestyle, every day, and thats all there is to it. But is that out of control? If i can day I will have however much to dirnk tonight, and the same tomorrow n so on?

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

Coalfire, Thank you for posting the article. I would say that I still don't know where I fall. I think because I was hiding it from my husband because he has such a disapproval of alcohol I was going into a very dangerous territory where you do not even measure what you're drinking. Even though I would only do it once/twice a week every 2 weeks. It's scary. I used to not hide it and drink more often, but I realized it was very unhealthy. There are times I have gone to dinner and had only one drink and can leave it at that. Though I prefer to have more, I do not intake more. All I know is I'm not going to lose any sleep about it. I don't want to try and see if I can mod at this time in my life. I want to quit for good. I don't want to tell myself awe you can have one. I want none. I am 15 days and counting. I can have other "rewards "for good behavior. Which I am throughly enjoying rewarding myself with other things.

In Chains, I wish you all the best. You set your own goals and what is right for you. I'm cheering you on for whatever they are.

VG, enjoy your dinner with hubby.

4myhealth, Have a lovely girls night. It feels SO Good leaving sober, and waking up the next day knowing you don't feel the negative affects. Good luck!

To everyone else, have a lovely Sunday/Saturday night. I am going to go try a new Mexican restaurant. I can tell you Mexican food in Australia is pretty bad, so we usually make our own. But eh, we'll give it a go. :whee:

[DSLR]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. Thanks for the post coalfire, very interesting.

Off to a vide grenier this morning with friends, which literally means 'empty your attic' (like a boot fair inthe UK but better!) so might bag myself a bargain!

Like so many of you have said before, waking up on any morning, but particularly a Sunday with a clear head, happy heart, and a whole day to do 'stuff' is amazing!

Wishing everyone a beautiful AF Sunday/Sunday evening.

[coalfire]

Newbies Nest

Hi In chains. I havent been involved in this thread much so you have probably already discussed this. Have you tried a complete AF run eg 60-90 days? Im trying to honestly think what I would do in your situation. Its tough because our drinking is very different.
I think I might do as long of an AF run as possible just to break every last iota of the HABIT part of my drinking and change my lifestyle as much as possible just to make sure that I was eliminating any possible "in a rut" element to my drinking.Then I might be tempted to try and reintroduce it but with some strict rules in place eg only drinking on a legitimate social occasion and with all "comfort drinking" banned. If it didnt work then I would consider knocking it on the head alcoholic or not .

I tried this(multiple times:hitme but because I had the loss of control element ie the broken off switch that defines alcoholism it was never going to work and believe me I tried! I dont think I ever tried as hard at anything in my life because I desperately wanted to be a moderator. Once that off switch breaks in you THERE IS NO GOING BACK IM AFRAID and like the article says my attempts brought repeated negative consequences.(everything from drunk dialling to arguments to the typical alcoholic blackouts) I also started to experience the typical "panic at the end of the bottle" that AA talk about. The call for last orders at the bar generated panic and extreme feelings of distress in me. I had to ensure that I had a supply at home to return to at the end of the night before I went out. I simply could not stop once I started...for anybody or anything.Again it was the loss of control element that they talk about but I went into denial and decided that loss of control only means drinking at breakfast etc. It doesnt.

Eventually I had to surrender before something happened that I wouldnt be able to put right.AA says that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different outcome and that was me to a tee.

AA also say that you cant turn a pickle back into a cucumber and despite my determined efforts to be the first person in the world to do so I eventually had to acknowledge that they are right. Once alcoholism has ignited in your brain..thats it... its game over.(I don't attend AA but I like to read all their stuff. They have this annoying habit of being right.:H)

I think even non alcoholic problem drinkers have to keep in mind all the health risks of alcohol consumption. Every day I read the papers I see it seems to be linked to yet another cancer(yikes!)
As I said you may have listed your goals somewhere else and I might have missed them. Apologies if that is the case.

[coalfire]

Newbies Nest

sunshinetoday;1099775 wrote: There are times I have gone to dinner and had only one drink and can leave it at that. Though I prefer to have more, I do not intake more..... .... I don't want to try and see if I can mod at this time in my life. I want to quit for good. I don't want to tell myself awe you can have one. I want none. I am 15 days and counting. I can have other "rewards "for good behavior. Which I am throughly enjoying rewarding myself with other things.


:

Good for you Sunshine! You are right of course. There are a million rewards out there so much nicer than ethanol which is basically poison of course. Its a strange reward isnt it?:H I hope you are giving yourself lots of nice treats. My treats at the moment are lots of events eg concerts ,shows,plays etc. You come home on a high from most of them and the best part is that it is a high with no hangover.

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

HI Coalfire,

I have to say upon reading the name Professor David Nutt, I had to have a giggle. :whee::H
Maybe the name says more than he would like. Sorry I can't control myself, his name is giving me some laughs. I too have been rewarding myself with a future concert, it will be around 45 days AF for me. Some divine sweets I would never normally even buy. Supplements instead of alcohol. My husband said they were a bit pricey, I said hey, I can go buy some AL instead, he was fine with supplements after that. I can't wait until he quits smoking, we will save $5720 a year. More treats for both of us. I'm even surprising him with treats more often now that I'm not drinking! Anyways, hope you are having a lovely Sunday! Thanks for the interaction on here. I like reading your info. I think your right about AA being right about things, although I don't attend, not for me.
:thanks:

[coalfire]

Newbies Nest

Yes its very unfortunate. He is very well known over here and the press have had a lot of fun with his name.Its great when you book a concert and you have it to look forward to. I have a hit comedy show booked for Thursday and I cant wait. I plan to have a good day today. My OH and I are driving up to a local scenic area to go for a walk and have our lunch out somewhere. Its a fairly nice day here in Ireland and I have a lot of mental cobwebs that I want to shake off before I go back to work. I hope you enjoy your Sunday too.