Newbies Nest

[hillsidetime]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters, just checking in. Have a great, and sober Sunday,
Hill

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest!

Yes, it is wonderful to wake up with a clear head on Sundays! I went to a comedy show last night and drank sparkling water. The show was great, I remember everything, and I had a great time! There was a very drunk couple a few tables down who were a bit annoying and I felt a little sorry for them, really, and wondered if I ever behaved that way....so happy not to be them last night!

As for professor David Nut, I'm glad he's come up with a definition of Alcoholic. However, I personally feel that whether we have a problem with Al or not lies within our own hearts. I didn't have his definition of "Alcoholic", however I don't think that means I just need to cut back. For me, I know hiding my drinking from my husband and society means there is a problem! And I'm so much happier when I don't drink, why would I do something to hurt myself? That is a problem for me. So I chose not to drink.

Have a wonderful AF day all!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Had severe weather here last nnight, lots of cleanup to do outside today.
Grateful to be unhung & ready to tackle the day!
Will be back later after I tidy up my part of the nest

Lav

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

hey coalfire + nesters

so as alot of you probably guessed I was having me some denial issues last night xD I have done 30 days AF before, and as soon as 30 days was up I was drinking again, I set myself a limit on how much and then i went past that, set myself a limit on the time I could start, I coudln't keep to it, days a week? every day. Fact is I am not in control, I like to imagine I am because I can stop myself drinking in the morning. I cannot however stop myself -thinking- about drinking in the morning. Being able to stop yourself buying a beer before work is not by any means true control - a person who was in control of their drinking would not only stop because they cannot risk losing their job as it is the source of their beer money xD I am an alcoholic (I think that may be the first time I've said that since coming back to MWO incidentally) and I may not have as big a problem because of that as some other people aroudn here, but I sure as hell know what road I'm on, and where that ends.

[Doggygirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters! In Chains, I always know when a post hits really close to home because I find as I read it, that I am not breathing.

Your post about "control" (or lack of) is EXACTLY what it was like for me. In the later years of my drinking, I simply couldn't wait and got in trouble on my job for it, etc. However for many years prior to that, even if I COULD "wait until 5PM" for that first drink, I was THINKING ABOUT IT all day long.

I remember days at the office where in the morning, somebody would say "oh I'm having a bad day......" I would always say "well, let's go out for a drink after work!" If they said "yes" I felt an immediate sense of relief. I see now that the relief came from having an established drinking plan for the day. I would be "jonesing" until the drinking plan was in place.

I too set many rules for myself that I simply could not keep. Among them were things like

* I won't drink until 5PM
* I will only have ___________. (1 or 2 or 3)
* I will not drink this week until Friday/Sat / Sunday
* I will not drink wine, only _______________ (something I didn't "like" as much)
* I will not drink alone at home

I spent years and years wound up in alcoholic ball and chains by denying my addiction. Accepting that I am addicted to alcohol was my first step towards freedom.

The biggest problem with various surveys that try to distinguish the "problem drinker" from the "alcoholic" is that
1) they are often conducted by non-alcoholics who just can't possibly understand
2) we drinkers are liars, and a lot of this stuff in compiled from surveys containing tons of inaccurate information.

I can think back to any number of doctor questionairre forms, etc. I NEVER told the truth about my drinking.

Just some food for thought!

DG

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Went to a neighborhood party Friday night and only drank Diet Coke...not one comment from anyone, and I had a great time. Went out to dinner last night with Hubs and his brother...I was a very cheap date!! $2.95 for a salad and water!!!
I am so proud of myself!! These things have not been done in 25 years!! I am breaking the cycle!
In my humble opinion...when AL starts to dictate what you do, when, and where you go...when you start making rules for yourself as to when it's allowed...then you probably don't need it in your life. Heck, I don't even have a doctorate degree and I can say that!! It's that dam 'OFF SWITCH' that can't be repaired. You can call us Alcoholics or problem drinkers, the bottom line is the same...when it is running your life and you are not, it's time to take the wheel, and get AL out. My 2 cents....Byrdie Day 88!! Wooooohoooo!

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

I can totally relate to inventing social situations in order to drink more, I've arranged to spend tiem with people I don't even really like in the past because i know that in their company my drinking is acceptable.

Also, awesome job byrdlady! and totally agree with what you're saying about whether you run your life or whether its AL, you make a great point

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters

Just dropping in to say hi. Lots of interesting stuff going on in the nest today, will post more later when I can have a proper read at it all.

Byrdlady, LOVE your post!

BBL, hope you are all having a lovely Sunday!

[coalfire]

Newbies Nest

InChains;1100116 wrote: hey coalfire + nesters

so as alot of you probably guessed I was having me some denial issues last night xD I have done 30 days AF before, and as soon as 30 days was up I was drinking again, I set myself a limit on how much and then i went past that, set myself a limit on the time I could start, I coudln't keep to it, days a week? every day. Fact is I am not in control, I like to imagine I am because I can stop myself drinking in the morning. I cannot however stop myself -thinking- about drinking in the morning. Being able to stop yourself buying a beer before work is not by any means true control - a person who was in control of their drinking would not only stop because they cannot risk losing their job as it is the source of their beer money xD I am an alcoholic (I think that may be the first time I've said that since coming back to MWO incidentally) and I may not have as big a problem because of that as some other people aroudn here, but I sure as hell know what road I'm on, and where that ends.

Hi In chains I was the queen of denial for years,you sound a if you are doing a lot better at talking about it or admitting it than I ever was. So you already have a 30 day AF experiment behind you? I had 100 of them. I kept hoping that if I revisted my problem after 30 or 60 days that it would have changed somehow but it hadnt. Its very hard but you seem to have done some serious thinking and decided where you are at. You are right about where the road ends. It alway gets worse,it really does. I wish you luck as you continue on your battle.

Hi my life..some confusion here... David nutt was just the link to the article no safe level of alcohol. He didn't speak about alcoholism. Hope that clears that up!

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone.

Had a good day, thoughtful, thinking about where this journey is taking me.

Coal, I am so sorry, I didn't read the full article you posted. That's just me though. If something isn't bullet-pointed and highlighted I lose interest after the first couple of lines.

As someone else said though, AL users are like any other drug addicts, and tend to lie about their abuse anyway.

I posted a thread in GD about how I am feeling today. I am on the verge of something, a big decision, and I know I can't take it lightly. It is like someone flicked a light switch in my brain. Scary, exciting, butterflies in my tummy, but the fork in the road has been reached, and I have to decide.

It's made me realise that the initial decision to tackle your problem isn't the only hurdle you have to face.

I hope everyone is well and I am sorry for being a pain in the arse, I hate just posting about me, and how I feel.

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

Good Monday Morning Nest,

VG, I think you can always come here to post how you feel. I know I do a lot of times and I feel better about some things. Besides, I love reading posts. I think I can identify with people here more than just on an AL level. Hopefully sometimes I maybe going through something someone else has already gone through. So share away if you feel inclined.

I have had a serious lack of sleep last night after sleeping in, having a afternoon early evening nap, then venturing to bed around 4am to get up at 6:30am. Looking forward to the 5 day weekend next weekend. I have to head off to work. Then looks like another rainy night for my soccer game. Oh well. At least there's exercise happening. Have day a lovely day everyone! BBL!

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

Forgot to add a MASSIVE WELLDONE to Byrd. That is wonderful. Keep on keeping on with your bad self!!!!

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Hello nest

Hope we've all had a good weekend, mine has been busy but productive and I had money to buy plants at the garden centre.

Coalfire interesting article you posted a couple of pages back, i've not read it in detail but scanning through I identified with many points, another thing helping me to accept what I am, I have a friend who cries whenever I refer to mself as an alcoholic, funny how she can't accept it when I'm begining to....

Last night went well, I didn't drink, my friends obviously asked why I wasn't drinking so just told them the partial truth, I'm fed up of hangovers and I don't want to drink now, I couldn't see a point to making up excuses, if they had a problem with me not drinking then they're not true friends, it was so lovely to come home sober, to remember every detail of the evening, to wake up without that awful oh god what did I do thought going through my head...

Anyway hope you all had a wonderful weekend

Believe in yourself...

Lee

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Oh and well done Byrd, I'm becoming a cheap date too nowadays :H:H I kind of like it though

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

I think it's safe to assume we are all cheap dates these days :H

I'm happy using my extra funds to spoil the grandkids these days, honestly

Congrats to everyone for a successful weekend kicking AL in the butt!
When we learn something new about ourselves r/t the destructive effects of drinking - that's a huge step forward too!

Got lots done myself today too

Wishing everyone a comfy night/day in the Nest!
Lav