Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Very cloudy here today, big rains expected tomorrow (and we sure don't need more rain)!

Hello to everyone, glad to see all of you

Mazzie, just imagine being the healthy, happy mother of the Bride - good for you!!!

IC, congrats on your 3 AF days!!! You're doing it & I'm glad you came here to share with us
Now we will have to twist your arm & get you into a beautiful wedding dress. Is your wedding date set?

VG, Wow on 85 AF days for you, terrific!

Scottish, I'm happy for you as well, keep going!!!

Greetings to HC, DSLR, Mimi, 4MyHealth & anyone I may have missed. Plan on having a wonderful AF Wednesday!!!

Lav

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest,

Getting ready to head to bed so. Just wanted to post before I head off.
Mimi, I know what you mean about wanting to drink if being alone.
DSLR, photography is great area whether to work in or simply enjoy.
Mazzie, Sounds like we live somewhere in the same neck of the woods.
VG, What an awesome job, 84 days is OuTsTaNdInG! :wd:
IC, I have been thinking about you! I am sending you good wishes! You should wear whatever you want for your wedding. As they say it's YOUR day!
HC, Habla espanol bueno.
Lav, Have fun shopping and a lovely lunch.
To everyone else dropping by hello and glad you're here.
:l:happyheart:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hitting the road today for work...2 days overnight. I am not worried about drinking for once!!! I am soooo freaking happy I'm not glued to a bottle anymore!!!! Life is simpler and easier. 98 days today! My thanks to this nest, without whom, I would have never made it. Go us!!!!! Byrdie

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest! Wow, busy today already!

4My, Inchains and Sunshine -- great to hear you're all doing great and perservering in this! It really helps that we're all gong through it together, so many great ideas out there!

Mazzie, have a great few days with your daughters. That's so great, and nice they are "normies". I can remember when I nursed one glass of wine or a beer (most of my 20's and early 30's) and tipped the rest out. I can almost pinpoint when that changed, but it's no use looking back now! However, I do remember not caring about AL and rarely ordered a drink if out to dinner, so I would like to get back to that feeling normal. I know it did once, so it can again!

Mimi, you are doing great. Just keep adding up the days one by one! DSLR, great to hear from you as always!

VG and Byrd -- you two are really up there on the days!! Congratulations and thanks for the inspiration!

Of course Lav, great to hear from you as always -- you have become the voice of calm and reasonableness to me!

[4MyHealth]

Newbies Nest

Lavande, Mazzie, Mimi, DSLR, VG, InChains (day 3 for us! Sending you extra AF vibes; hope they bounce back to me.), mylife thanks for checking in on me. I made it! Had my fizzy water and then some hot tea and went to bed. It got easier as the night went on.
Lav - I think you mentioned changing your thoughts & the MWO cd's. I've been listening to them daily and I do feel they are helping. Thanks for bringing those up!
Mazzie, Have fun shopping with your girls! So glad to hear they are "normies". I hope the same for my boys -- their Dad is a normie, so that should help the odds.
Mimi - glad that you did stay AF; I had the habit of making nights alone an excuse to cozy up to my bottle of wine. I know what you mean.
DSLR - exciting about your photography business! That is something I've considered too -- being a midwife would not be something I could handle.
vg good work on 85/86 and taking on the day! Enjoy the sunshine!
Sunshine - hope you slept well and have a good day ahead of you!
Byrdlady - how nice to go on this trip and not obsess about alcohol! Hope you have a great trip.
Have a great day, nesters.

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

To all of you who are AF today, no matter what day it is-Congratulations:good job:
day 12 for me, yay. I know I won't be drinking tonight.

Have a great day and I may check in later

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

Lav: the date was set then the dear old government decided to make a mess of student finance so now me and my fiancee are just having to wait unfortunately, it was supposed to be april 7th next year, the anniversary of when we met.

4MH: sending some of my AF vibes right back at you, finished my day 3 and hope we'll be keeping together on day 4 tomorrow PM me anytime if you want to talk

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Morning.

Sunshine - gracias pero realmente no hablo a espanol. Me googled! Solo queria que se sienta como en casa..... :H
And for those who want to know, google spanish to english translator!

Mimi - well done on 12 days. That is almost two weeks. Yay. Keep it up.

I was a problem drinker from the first time I drank - at 14! And I have always looked at people who can nurse one glass all night and wonder how they do it. I wonder if we are actually born problem drinkers or if some thing/situation/event can "turn" us into alkies. I think my son (15yo) is going to follow in my footsteps and over enjoy a drink or three but I would be surprised if my daughter does as she is a very sensitive soul and watches people when they are drinking and usually doesnt like what she sees. She gets very upset when my husband gets drunk. The other day she was at her friends house and the friends mum was drunk. My daughter kept texting me as she was really quite distressed. Which makes me very surprised that she claims she has only seen my drunk twice!! Add a few zeros and maybe that might be closer to the amount of times....:upset:

Anyway another busy day with me having to get my daughter and son to footy and soccer training within half an hour of me leaving work - and of course they are in different directions. But I will concentrate on the stress levels as stress is a very big trigger for me.

So will pop in later tonight and have a great AF day.

Hipster

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

Triggers- My husband.
He is a great provider, generous with money but I feel that I am not worth the time of day. We own a business. I know all the employees but he doesn't bother to let me know when he hires or fires people as a matter a fact he doesn't tell me anything at all. Our nightly conversation is "what's for dinner". I have read all the books, tried all the suggestions and nothing has helped. He doesn't believe in counceling. This makes me doubt myself, why I'm not worth talking to. Even just everyday conversations would be nice. It doesn't have to be deep conversations.

Earlier I had no desire to drink, now i want to lash out with a glass of wine. Wish I had some but glad I don't.

I needed to spout off, thanks for listening

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

So nice to see so many Nesters here today!
Had a long, busy but nice day myself & accomplished everything on my list

Mimi, please don't feel bad about yourself! You certainly are worth talking to & we're glad you're here with us :l
I understand your concerns, my husband grew to be the same way. I'm sure now that it is his deficiencies & not mine. He's been in therapy for well over a year & nothing has changed for him......he doesn't want to change. Sometimes people are more concerned about preserving their egos than making things right in their relationships. I quit drinking two years ago & I'm not going to let his behavior push me back. I hope you stay strong & keep your eye on your goal. Drinking over his behavior won't change his behavior......I know that now

I hope everyone has a comfy AF night or good AF day in store!
Lav

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Hi all nesters. I so respect those of you who mange to mention each of the nesters and make personal comments ? you have such an influence on our progression ? thank you so much for taking the time ? esp Lav, DSLR, mylife, sunshine, hippychic, bryd, in chains?..oooh all of you! I am worried about doing the personal messages as each one has something special to add, and I don?t want to miss anyone.
Well after a week off ? Monday was a 10hr day, Tuesday was 17hrs, today is over at 7pm, now it is 8pm and I am ready for bed ? so a quick check in to the nest.
My reflection for the day?..i have a new group of friends, really incredible friends - who know bits about me that my family and ?other? friends do not know. I have secrets from my family and friends. You guys are learning my secrets, my fears and my failures ? and I will probably never know who you all are, only know that in your anon-ominity, you are some of the most special people, and the most important people in my life just know ? pretty weird???? Thank you to all the posters on the newbie nest ? you are all life savers!!!

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

Pitty party over. Lavande thank you for listening. I don't have marriage meltdowns often but sometimes I just can't take it.....

i was a teen bride, been married 27 years and know for us it was the right decision but sometimes he needs to be knocked on the side of the head. lol MEN

All is well for one more day.
goodnight All

[4MyHealth]

Newbies Nest

Mimi - good for you for trudging through your feelings and not going out to get wine!
InChains - thanks for the vibes. Today was easier for me. I hope day 4 is easy for you and me (and day whatever everyone else is on is an easy one too!)!
Hippy - I wonder 2 about born drinkers or born normies. My 1st was probably at 15 and I'm sure I was drunk. Personally (this is sad), being always concerned about my weight, I never understood why anyone would drink without wanting to drink enough to get the buzz. If I didn't want the buzz (which I did whenever I drank) I wouldn't waste the calories. That may be a red flag to me that I can't moderate...
Lav - glad you accomplished everything on your list!
SL - I feel the same way about the nest. The posts and replies here give me the strength to continue!
Good night all nesters. Happy AF day tomorrow!

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nest,

Scottish Lass, I know what you're saying about the nest. I was at work today thinking about everyone in the nest and how close I feel to everyone, even though I don't know anyone on a face to face basis! Thanks for touching on how important it is, I feel the same!
Mimi, Glad you're here. I don't know what it would feel like if that was the situation with my husband, but I get frustrated with my husband a lot.
Lav, I always have a laugh that you're going to sleep shortly after I am getting up, and getting up when I am heading for bed!
4myhealth, way to plug along, every day makes a difference.
Hippy, You are to funny! You are one smart cookie!

I got a package from my mom today of some american goodies. Starbucks VIA, See's candy, green taco sauce. She put a note in it saying that she was proud of me for the effort I was making. She also said that she poured half a bottle of Makers Mark down the sink. I was surprised. I have seen my mom try really hard to drink less, and she has done a good job. I also have seen her very drunk on many occasions. It goes both ways I guess. I am proud of her too though.

I also had another situation. My husband was supposed to go out of town for a guys night this weekend. So my head started the whole devil vs. angel about whether I should drink while he was gone for the night. I was still unsure. Also unsure of why I would give in at 27 days AF. Then he told me he doesn't think it's happening. So immediately my mind thought "that's settled." I won't drink if he's around. It is obviously a trigger for me if he's not around for a few days. Although I am not sure why.

Anyways, I hope you have a lovely sleep and a bright bright day! Byrd, IC, Jolie, VG, MAzzie, lolab, mylife, DSLR, and anyone else, Hello!!!!:hallo:roud:

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest!
I had a hard time sleeping last night. So I finally just got up early and decided to come on here and post! So I guess even without AL I will have the occasional sleepless night...but at least I'm not hungover!!
Scottish - you posted my thoughts exactly about this place. Thanks for putting it so eloquently! It really is great to have this great group of people to share this experience with!
Hippy - I thought about your post being a problem drinker at 14. I think for me, I never had a problem until my mid 30's. Before that I really didn't want to waste the calories on AL, and I didn't like the feeling, so I would nurse a light beer all night at a party or something. I think it was some specific things that happened to me in my late 20's and early 30's and dealing with some depression issues that led to my problem.
Mimi - glad you're feeling better! My husband is a huge trigger as well, but Lav is so right - our drinking doesn't change their behavior! We can only change our own behavior.
Sunshine - so glad you decided not to drink! On day 27 you should be so proud of yourself! I am right there with you on day 28 today. I'm staying very aware of my triggers as well.
4My Great to hear you're doing so well - and InChains - great job on another successful AF day!!

Have a fantastic AF Thursday everyone! :l