Newbies Nest

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Almost 1 day AF completed. Just been for a run, which was very hard with the anxiety and panic attacks but I do feel slightly better now.
Anxiety is the worst for me. I was so happy, calm and relaxed when I was AF for 42 days I don't know how I decided to jeopardise it. :-(

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Andrew - be sure you do sit down & figure out what made you decide to drink..........
It will help prevent you from making the same mistake again Congrats of your AF day & rest knowing the anxiety will decrease pretty quickly now.

Hello to so many who dropped in the nest today

Welcome avag & Nels, the Nest is a great place to get yourselves started. Please make yourselves comfortable & ask if you have any questions!

Mimi, you've made it to a week AF :l

Daisy, sounding pretty good yourself. That book sound great, what a powerful message on the first page!

Byrdie, I have to agree with you - every post helps every one of us. We all have much to learn & share!

Congrats to everyone taking steps to move forward in your lives. You'll never be sorry, I promise

Lav

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

Good evening everyone,

I made it through day 4. My teeth are just beginning to feel normal so i'm not panicing that I cracked a filling. I think it was just the sugar in the wine that finally took hold. In fact, where I am working part-time they have endless supplies of m&m's and peanut m&m's and just looking at them made my fillings ache. But once I starting drinking I didn't feel any aching or pain. Because they were numb. I sure must have been throwing it down, because I have never had this when i quit before. And without dental insurance I was and still am afraid I might have done some damage. It's taken 4 days for just the pain to go away.

I have been able to eat a little more, had a salad today. But I'm being very careful of my choices. Last time I quit, I started in on the ice cream, I have a slice of frozen cheese cake i never did get too, I was letting myself eat anything, especially the sweets. I remember going out for a small container of ice cream like I used to go out for a bottle of wine after dark. I am not doing that this time. I boiled a dozen eggs last night. If I get hungry I'll eat an egg, or a yogurt, or a small piece of cheese. I don't drink coffee so that isn't a problem. I do drink cold tea, unsweetened, so not sure if that is a problem. I don't drink soda, except for diet ginger ale. And I'm drinking a lot of water.

So good night to everyone as I am off to wake up to day 5. And thank you all so much for your help.

Piper

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

hmmm so all my posts don't show on my phone, thats weird oh well

quick check in to wish everyone well just made an appointment with my gp for this am, i have a few concerns about things that i kept putting off addressing whilst i was drinking sure that they would say it was al, they are still there and getting a little worse so we'll see what happens

have a good day all

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Friday morning Nesters!

Chilly around here this week for some reason but I'm sure it will be warm enough soon

piper, glad you are feeling a bit more comfortable now. Keep taking good care of yourself.

LIS, hope everything is OK with you! Try to not worry ahead of time about things ~ I know we tend to blame every ache & pain on AL - at least I know I did. Turns out some things are just age related, genetics, etc

Looking forward to having my daughter, DIL & all 3 grandkids here for dinner tonight. Hope the weather holds up because I want to put burgers on the grill

Wishing everyone a good & AF Friday!
Lav

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all,
I was just wondering on getting some opinion and telling family members. It's quite obvious I have been drinking too much again this week but I managed to hide it yesterday from my grandmother who I live with (I think she's too old to deserve to be told). It's also obvious I'm capable of stopping on my own, as my recent 6 weeks AF shows. But I'm thinking if my parents knew it could be easier to stay AF. Like, even just a nightly phone call to make sure I am sober. If I'd had someone pleading we me to stop last Friday when I began drinking again maybe it would have made a difference and I would've gone home and sobered up (never too bad the first day in comparison to trying to stop after the 7th day!).

Anyway, got through last night with the benefit of some Zopiclone. Although I was reluctant to take them they calmed me down a lot and I even drifted off for about 2 hours. And that was only after dole the recommended dose.

Anyway, best of luck to everyone today!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Andrew, my thoughts on sharing with others my be quite different from the other nesters. I don't see it as anyone else's business, my personal struggles. My hubs doesn't know the half of how hard this has been, but he does see the results, and that's all that really matters. You'd never know it by my numerous posts here, but I am intensely private... this is a battle that no one around me can help me win, it's a battle within myself. Like those 2 wolves. If you choose to drink, I don't think anyone else's pleas could make you not do it, and would only cause them to feel helpless, and worst case, start nagging you. Who needs that drama? So I am waging it alone, but with the help of a powerful group of friends....you all! Why give anyone something else to talk about? Benjamin Franklin said so wisely, two people can keep a secret, if one of them is dead. Amen, Ben. Byrdie

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

hey guys, quick check in from me on day 12, back again later to catch up witht he last couple of days happenings. been a difficult couple of days, but i feel I'm through the worst now

xIC

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

In Chains....you ARE thru the worst part! Something just clicked for me on day 13! I'd made it to 12 days several times...just getting over that dang hump! I am so PROUD of you!! Go Chains, Go Chains, Ga ga ga...Go Chains! (to be chanted!)

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1110626 wrote: Andrew, my thoughts on sharing with others my be quite different from the other nesters. I don't see it as anyone else's business, my personal struggles. My hubs doesn't know the half of how hard this has been, but he does see the results, and that's all that really matters. You'd never know it by my numerous posts here, but I am intensely private... this is a battle that no one around me can help me win, it's a battle within myself. Like those 2 wolves. If you choose to drink, I don't think anyone else's pleas could make you not do it, and would only cause them to feel helpless, and worst case, start nagging you. Who needs that drama? So I am waging it alone, but with the help of a powerful group of friends....you all! Why give anyone something else to talk about? Benjamin Franklin said so wisely, two people can keep a secret, if one of them is dead. Amen, Ben. Byrdie

It's an interesting case you make, byrdlady. And I do think my parents would just be worried all the time and constantly checking up on me, when they deserve to be relaxed and enjoying life at this stage. I do think though that hearing a human voice telling me not to drink could outweigh the voice in my head telling me it's ok. BUT anyway, after lapsing once I hope not to again, because now I KNOW I'm not a normal drinking. I was even thinking of some tattoo or something to remind myself forever.
Also, I see a link between neglecting MYO and lapsing. I thought to myself, right 42 days done, I must be cured, it's ok to drink. I was home that night at 5am after beginning drinking at lunchtime with family.

(Sorry, if the above is a little disjointed, I'm about 36 hours AF and still feeling jittery!)

[madmans]

Newbies Nest

Hi Andrew , it up to you who you want to tell, it might make you more accountable but remember you have to stop drinking for yourself . Would it be a case were in the future you end up resenting your parents because they are all ringing to see are you drunk ?. Well done on your 42 days , that voice in your head will lessen the more time you can spend AF

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

madmans;1110647 wrote: Hi Andrew , it up to you who you want to tell, it might make you more accountable but remember you have to stop drinking for yourself . Would it be a case were in the future you end up resenting your parents because they are all ringing to see are you drunk ?. Well done on your 42 days , that voice in your head will lessen the more time you can spend AF

Perhaps. But it's more that they need not know about all this because I know I can still fix it alone, if needs be. Last time I went to their place after an 8-day bender and they were good enough to just leave me alone for a couple of days to straighten out before they asked me was I ok. I said I had just been stressed and drinking a little too much. I know they were worried but after going 42 days AF, I'd say their minds are at ease now. I do think I'll tell them I've decided to quit completely though. But I won't say it's because I have a serious problem.
In Ireland admitting you have a drink problem to the world seems to mean being saddled with that tag for life, as far as I can see. Maybe I'm stupid to care what people think of me but I'd hate to think people were gossiping that I had a drink problem. Like, that's all that defines a person? For example, my brother moved to a new house-share. A guy there used to be an alcoholic. And we all knew about it like a day after my brother moved in! I don't know a single other thing about the guy but that! I just don't want to be that guy.
I'm rambling here, I know!

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Andrew,

Sounds like you are weighing all the options. I've never spoken the words aloud to anyone and while that may be a totally liberating feeling, it's just not an option as I'm sure there reaction would have been total shock. (I'm a total closet drinker). I also believe that this slip will make you stronger - especially if you really felt like crap the next day. Hang in there - you really can do this (coming from one who never thought it was possible).

Birdy - you seriously crack me up. You are such a darn inspiration to everyone here!

Hope everyone who flies into the nest today makes it a great AF day!

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Hi to all nesters ? what a busy site ? my life has been so busy this week, I have read all posts every morning ? new routine for me before even getting out of bed! ? but have not had time to post.
To all those discussing who to tell ? I am not able to tell anyone, this is why this blog is such a need for me ? you guys know the secrets I cannot share with my family or friends ? without the support of the nesters and some other blogs, I would not be on this road, I know that for a fact. Lav, Byrd, inchains, witchy, DSLR, sunshine ? and everyone are my new friends and those that I am ?safe? to share my fears, concerns, past etc with ? and they help me daily. I do not believe I will ever let those that I speak to or see face to face ? those whose names I truly know, will ever jknow the me that all you guys know.
Day 6 is here this time around and am loving it most of the time!
Good work everyone, we are all successes, even when we fall!
?The 3 C's of life: Choices, Chances and Changes ~ You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.?

[madmans]

Newbies Nest

Andrew some people will have a fair idea you have a drink problem long before you know you have. some of them people will have been former drinkers . yes here in Ireland we do tag alkies, is that because it made us happier when we were drinking too much. It's very hard to accept that we are an alcoholic , even know deep down we know it is still very hard to accept so its easier to tag some one an alkie and laugh at them and keep drinking. The longer you go AF the less you will care what other people thinks or says about you , it will get to a stage were you are looking at them drinking way to much and think thank God i am not doing that