Newbies Nest

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Evening nesters.

Sunshine, I feel for you. I can understand his thinking however if you know that you havent had a drink then that is all that matters. Please dont let this bring doubts or cloud your desire for sobriety. You said so yourself that you have promised before not to drink and did, that you hid AL. You know how serious you are, how committed you are, he can only go by what he knows of the past and what he sees now or thinks he sees. Maybe he should drink it to confirm that it wasnt AL if he didnt believe you. You are both still learning and as time goes on he will realise how wrong he was, how commited you are.

Chin up girl. We know you are trying and committed.

Take care and PM if you need.

Hippy

Hi to everyone else. Hope you are all staying strong!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Happy Hump Day!

4MyHealth - good job! Creating new memories without AL is such a pleasure, keep going!

Mazzie, good to see you & to hear you have 3 months AF - GREAT!!!
The peaceful feeling of calmness is really worth the effort - isn't it?

Sunshine, I am sorry you are dealing with such a bitter spouse because I have the same problem. I've narrowed it down to some people have a complete inability to forgive. While my spouse expected & received forgivemness for his many 'sins' he has been coimpletely unable to forgive my 'sin'. After a lot of soul searching & effort I've decided that it is his problem & I can't change that. Preserving his wounded ego is more important to him than acknowledging that I made a huge effort to correct my problems. Change what you can change sunshine ~ yourself :l

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday!
Lav

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Sunshine :l

You are not being selfish! This is a BIG thing and you are so right to post here about it as it could end up being a trigger for you if you let it fester.

You are doing great for yourself and for your husband. If he can't quite see it yet then maybe he is letting his memories of what has happened in the past influence his judgement.

The important thing here is that you don't let that detract from what you are doing. You are doing so well and I know from your posts that it hasn't been easy for you, yet look what you have overcome!

You can overcome this too, you have already shown your determination!

The only way you can regain his complete trust is to keep right on with what you are doing. Soon enough he's realise that he can't smell AL, that you aren't slurring your words, that you look and feel better and that trust will grow again.

I hope things work out and that you feel better soon xx

A quick salute to everyone else, hope you are all having a fab day, hump day already, doesn't time fly?

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

:groupluv:Thank You Lav, VG, and Hippy Chick,

I really appreciate the positive words of wisdom. Been a rough night, but I just had some chocolate and am getting ready to head to bed. Tomorrow will be a new day and I look forward to it. I guess you have to have a few bumps in the road to enjoy it when it's smooth! Have a great day everyone!

[startafresh]

Newbies Nest

Hello there everyone. I made it to the nutritionist today, she was good I thought, but I'm very tired which is probably due to coming off AL and it is only DAY 2. But Day 2 and no AL, so working on it.
best
starta

[joebloggs]

Newbies Nest

Hello

Hi all, anyone.

Never done anything like this at all. Time to make a change so hope this is the right place. x

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

It most certainly is Joe, welcome to the nest :welcome:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Sunshine....Lav, Hippy and VG took the words right out of my beak!! Hell, we lied so much why should they believe us now?? I had a hairspray bottle that I washed out really well and hid Vodka in it when we went out. (see, I told you we had stories!!) I put it away and when I quit, don't ask me how because I knew where every drop of AL was in this house..I forgot about it. It was hidden in my filing cabinet. The other day I was out of town and needed some information, so I asked him to go into the cabinet and read something to me from a file. He didn't mention it then, but he found the hairspray bottle and smelled it. When I got home he was major mad. I told him that is was from 'the bad days' and that I honestly hadn't drank in 3 months!!! I said, you told me that you could always tell when I was drinking...have I had THAT look in the last 3 months? We have betrayed their trust mighty bad, and if the shoe were on the other foot, I would raise the very same questions. It passed. My calender is marked with my number of days and that's what matters. It will pass. We all have some trust to earn back, at least, I do. Byrdie

[joebloggs]

Newbies Nest

Andrew from Ireland;1112976 wrote: It most certainly is Joe, welcome to the nest :welcome:

Thank you. Is MWO helping you?

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Joe, don't know where you are in your journey, but if you have landed in our nest, I have a pretty good idea. Lavande will give you the very first action items that will help you tremendously. I don't know how to post a link (lame, I know). But I landed in this nest sick to death of the lies I was telling, the comments being made around me, and the unrelenting chokehold that AL (alcohol) was having on me. I honestly had never heard of anyone quitting without professional help, so I came here in fear and in desperation. Having read many, many stories, they all had a common thread...we have lost control of the ability to control AL and it had begun controlling us. Protecting our supply, discarding the empties...sneaking it thinking no one would know. Setting rules for ourselves about how much and when we could have it, and then breaking them. When I came here, I was scared....that I was losing everything...my marriage, my friends, my health. I didn't want to lose AL too. But as afraid as I was, there was always someone on here that was worse than I was, but had managed to string some AF (alcohol free) days together. I was jealous of those people...why couldn't I do it??? I went from vodka to wine, thinking it'd be better for me. It wasn't long before that too got out of control I was able to stop for 12 days on 3 different occasions. Thought I'd try to limit myself after that to just 2 glasses of wine per night. Then the days became druggingly long waiting for that hour that I allowed it to be ok. But each time I quit and then started back, it progressively got worse! My husband packed up his clothes and told me that he was leaving, he couldn't live with the lies any more. He left. It was that night I found this place...and my thick head fought it for a year.(trying to moderate) But I am 113 days AF today, and I am here to tell you, life has never been better, or simpler. When I read back some time ago, a quote stuck out in my head...'One drink is too many, and 1000 aren't enough'. Sad, true. Looking back now, I wonder what I was afraid of....the world didn't come to an end.. People didn't stop talking to me. My husband gave me another chance and I am not going to blow it. Take us by the hand and walk with us for a while. You will learn that the only thing there is to fear is continuing down the path you are on. Will you fall? Maybe. But we will be here. You have to try in order to know. It's time for a change...it's step by step, hour by hour, and one day at a time. Don't scare yourself by looking too far down that road...think about what you are doing right now, not 10 years in the future. It's just like eating an elephant....you eat it one bite at a time. Is this a good place for you to be? You betcha. Has it helped? It has changed the world for me. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Busy Nest today - Love it

Hello & welcome starta & joe!
So glad you found us, this is a good place so make yourselves comfortable for a while. My welcome speech includes a few things to help you get started on the right foot
1. If you haven't already go to the Health store here on the site & download the MWO book. It's full of good info for you detailing the differents components of the program.
2. You need to make yourselves a good plan ~ something that works for you. Look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for lots of great ideas.

The MWO program does work as evidenced by the success of so many people here but you need to make the commitment & do the work yourselves. Changing your thinking is a huge part of the process & the MWO Hypno CDs are very helpful - I used them for a long time with great results!

Bydie - vodka in a hair spray bottle??? Really??? That has to be the most original hiding place I've ever heard of - OMG :H:H Aren't you so happy that part of your life is long over?

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

TRUST- Once it is gone it is so it is so hard to get it back. I know because I am the one who finds it hard to trust my hubby. He had an affair 6 years ago and just when I think I trust him we go a few weeks without sex and I start questioning why.

So Sunshine, I am sorry your husband is being difficult and you don't deserve it. I'm sure my husband deserves my trust at this point but being on this end of the issue it is so hard. Hang in there and keep up with those af days adding up.


Those of us on this site trust you since this is a safe place to come to tell both our victories and our failures. You are an inspiration to me and especially if you make it thru this difficult time. So again Sunshine, hang in there.

This is what's happening with me today. It looks like my hubby will be gone the next two nights. That will cause a lot of temptation. Today is day 6 and I would like to make it to day 7, 8, 9, etc.......

For some reason I woke up feeling guilty this morning. I hate that feeling and it seems like I have to take inventory first thing in the morning and then decide if I have earned the "guilt". Today I feel like a cloud is hanging over me. Maybe because the sunshine went a way and there truly is a cloud hanging over me but who knows.

I will check in since I will need all the encouragement I can get. Right now I am not craving but it's only noon............

Take care all

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest!

Just popping in to say Hello and Welcome!

I'm headed on a 5-day mini-vacation with my husband tomorrow for some R & R. I can't wait and I plan to be healthy and AF.

Have a wonderful AF day all!

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesties:l

Welcome Joe and Starta, you are in the right place surrounded by people who know exactly what you are going through and ready to jump in and help when you shout.

Sunshine and Byrdie I'm sure once your h/bs stop and think about it they'll realise it''s been a misuderstanding, don't use it as an reason, I know for myself last time I'd have said to myself "Right if you think I'm drinking I'm going to bloody drink" When they think about it they'll realise it would be obvious if you we're drinking again, like the other have said, you know you've been sober you can be proud of yourselves for what you've achieved:l

Mimi hope your cloud is diminishing now.

Urghh I'm so so tired today, snappy, bitchy, hating the world and envy filled, I hate feeling like this, hopefully tomorrows blood tests will show something for the exhaustion and the light headness I'm experiencing too now, although having to fast until 2pm tomorrow isn't going to help with how I feel both physically and mentally.

Anyway have a good AF today/tomorrow all and stay strong to yourselves

Leexx

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

hey guys, seeing stuff about hiding alcohol, well i remembered something kind fo sad. year 9, secondary school, which would make me... 14. It was coming up to christmas so I guess I was closer to 15. I discovered the plastic on lucozade bottleas made their contents completely invisible, I would sneak an extra can of beer or cider from the cupboard and pour the contents into my lucozade bottle and take it to school. I would sit in class, 14 years old, getting slowly drunk. I have no clue why.

anyway, day 17 here, not even half way...

xIC