Newbies Nest

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

hi nesties

where did the sun go its so cold today. Splitting headache and so. tired enough to almost fall asleep in class today but hopefully that is because i couldn't eat because of todays blod tests. i've been checked for thyroid, iron count, diabetes and also had a full blood count so hopefully something will show up

hope evrryone is doing well ill check in later after i've picked up the kids

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Thanks sunshinetoday! I did it! Ok, with the help of a small amount of Xanax, sure, but considering on Monday I was riddled with anxiety and trying to get 6 cans of beer and a 1/2 bottle of vodka into me ASAP, and Today is only Thursday lunchtime....I think the Xanax is ok. And our exam hall is scary, around 1500 people doing exams at the same time in a cavernous hall which often hosts concerts of people like Bon Jovi and Michael Buble etc. Big place, in other words. And the kind of place where I used to be so addled with anxiety about being stuck in for 2 hours that I needed to be drunk. Even if it was a 9am exam.
Anyway, I know the longer I am AF the more my anxiety recedes....
Exam even went pretty well....it's actually easier to study for one and do one when you're sober, I had forgotten that.

Hope you're all having a great day....

[joebloggs]

Newbies Nest

Hey all,

I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be in the nest with you guys. I have learnt so much over the last couple of days by going through the threads on this site. I no longer feel alone and have hope. Sadly a bottle down and it's only 7pm. However, I read the book last night and have ordered the starter pack so hope it will arrive soon.

Well done to all of you who have started and are on the way to freedom, I'm right behind you xxx

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

daisy, what happened? You've got to identify your triggers, the reasons why you decide to drink. Glad you are back with us.

Thanks Lav, this time I know exactly....had really bad PMT. Shocked to find this is the subject some are discussing, but glad. No excuse, but feel better today. When I went AL free last time all symptoms and any other ailments disappeared....onwards and upwards as they say......

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

looks like lots of postive thinking going on here! YEA! Daisy, I am having a brain malfunction - what's PMT?

hi everyone else - sorry so short! It's finally nice here and going back outside to try to catch up on delayed yard work...we had a terrible spring. :-( LIS - let us know what they find out. I have thyroid issues and have some great books to recommend if it is that. I know, just what you need, right?

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

hey nest, jesus I feel selfish but tis about me again. I'm in a bad way, a really bad way. I'm 18 days sober today, I'm not even half way to where I need to be. I think i'm dying. I am so low I think it's actually going to kill me. It hurts. I'm so down its like a phsyical pain inside my head and udner my skin, I want to disappear, want this pain to end so much. I am praying that this is just being AF, that this isn't -me- because if it is... well I could say goodbye today because I can't stay sober if this is what it means for me, if this is me without alcohol all the time not just in early stages... jesus what am I now? who have I become whilst my back was turned?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Friday evening Nesters!

lolab - PMT = PMS UK style

I think it's a good idea to discuss all possible drinking triggers even if they're hormone related. We're all adults here, right??

Anything that causes stress, mental and/or physical needs to be addressed & dealt with in a healthier fashion or we'll just keep screwing up

Andrew, so glad to hear you are moving forward - good for you!

joebloggs, can you stop after the first bottle tonight? Why not start to wean yourself gradually? I did that & am glad I did. It gave me time to push myself mentally into stopping on my chosen quit date.

LIS, I do hope you receive some help soon! You've been feeling poorly for quite a while:l

Well, I have my veggie garden fully planted! I do plan a fall crop of cool weather loving veggies like broccoli & spinach (didn't get started soon enough for a Spring crop this year). Now, if I can just keep the bunny rabbits out

I'd love to hear weekend plans from the newest Newbies. Weekends in & of themselves are triggers for most people. It's a good idea to keep yourself as busy as possible with non-AL activities

Lav

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

This is day 7 for me but it is also thursday. Thursday is the evening that I drink a bottle of wine. It is my home alone and there is nothing I like more than to drink my bottle of wine.

So someone please say something quick to talk me out of it..........HELP

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, nice to see everyone, the nest is so busy! Unfortunately it is nearly midnight here and poor old VG is knackered but I'll do my best!

startafresh, what a great nic, and you have already started afresh! 3 days felt like turning a corner for me, I hope you feel that way too, well done.

sunshine, I know you have had a rough week but you sound a lot more positive and you are doing so well!

Andrew, well done on taking your exam, so proud when reading your post I felt like your mammy lol....keep up the good work!

Leave, I hope they find out what's wrong and fix it PDQ. :l

joebloggs, been there, done it. A bottle down by 7pm and by that time you are not even enjoying it just drinking for the sake of it. You are about to make a huge step, one you won't regret. A big thing for me was proving to myself that I actually COULD get through a day without drinking and then I got less anxious about it as the days went by. So glad you are recognising you need to do something and I am right behind you!

Daisy, PMT is hard enough to deal with, but PMT with a hangover is like death warmed up! Mine has been not even a quarter as bad since I went sober. Good luck

Hi lolab, haven't caught up with the whole thread yet, but it's good to see you!

Inchy, I was going to PM you, but you put it out here, and so will I. You need to give yourself a good kick in the pants girlie. You are NOT dying. Life might not be a bed of roses right now, but you are alive. Up until two years ago i had a sister, she was a hardcore alkie, not like me with my veneer of respectability, if it wasn't for the family she would have been down and out.

To cut a long story short, she was diagnosed with brain cancer and given six months to live. She barely drank during the five months she did have, because she really WAS DYING and wanted to savour every second of what little life she had left.

I am sorry of it sounds harsh, but I always remember PLOM (poor little old me) from my relapses...most of the times I tried and failed it was because i was feeling as you do right now. The choice is yours though. Not meaning to lecture you, or make little of how you are feeling, but you have to be real about it. I just want to help put things into perspective. Maybe the pain is not about being AL free, but coming from somewhere else?

Anyway, sorry for rambling, it's way past my bedtime. Goodnight nesters, sleep tight.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Hello mimi. Know just how you feel. I have been noticing your AL free days and I feel my pattern is almost same as yours, with me on day one today. Again! I'm sure you're as peeved off as me every time you have to admit you're on day one. I have been reading your posts and thinking how persistent you are - you have helped me to continue to try where I would normally have given up!
As much as that bottle is so tempting I'm starting to find that each sip does not have the same good taste when mixed with the disappointment you have in yourself for giving in.
Try to picture yourself getting up tomorrow morning and how good you're gonna feel when you look in the mirror and know you've done yourself proud by hitting Week 2!
You can do it! :goodjob:

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

VG: Thank you for being honest and I am truly sorry to hear about your sister. I guess when I said I was dying I didn't mean people tot ake it literally, i meant almost like part of myself if you see what i mean? It was the only way i could express how I've been feeling - who I am, my values my... well my life as i knew it is ending. I didn't mean to be melodramatic or offend anybody.

xIC

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

vintage girl - :H Well, y'know I'd loved to have been able to call my actual mammy, but it's for the best I didn't, so I guess you can be a surrogate one :H

I ain't too far off 30 though, I'm feeling bad tonight for messing up the other exams (i.e. being in the midst of a bender and missing them), especially as everyone is excitedly asking me about finishing college this week. I have to feign excitement and then I feel like such an idiot knowing I gotta go back and repeat a heap of stuff and spend a fortune doing so. Ugh. Anyway. What's done is done. I can just try and do something positive tomorrow and keep going. Same as everyone, I guess.

Goodnight to all here and best wishes....

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

IC - I missed your earlier post -

VG is right - you need to get a grip & learn to be grateful for the new life you are forging for yourself! You can't change your entire life in just 18 days BUT being 18 days AF is a terrific start!!!! Be proud of your accomplishment, look forward & do not look back. There is absolutely nothing about AL to miss - you know that. Now start developing your plan for an AF life! You're young & have a great future in store - work it out in the best possible way for yourself.

Andrew, no looking back for you either! What's done is truly done & you can't change all that but making better decisions for the future is completely in your control

VG, hope you have a good night's rest!

Mimi, stay on board with us - no use in repeating your same old patterns - that will get you no where!

Wishing all Nesters a good night!
Lav

[joebloggs]

Newbies Nest

Hey,

I feel so lucky to have found such an honest safe support group. I think I'm going to be able to do this. I can feel the gloom clearing.

o.k so I stopped at a bottle and a half, small step but in the right direction. I agree that each sip is starting to be full of guilt and doesn't taste so good.

My hubby is away for the weekend so last night was home alone, I spent the evening preparing myself mentaly for this new me. I feel a little like I'm starting to grieve . I have had these secret addications for so many years it is scary to be stepping in to the unknown, I'm not sure who i'll be. I KNOW it is all for the best and the sooner the better, I just can't help feeling unsure about how I will replace what has been such a huge part of my life.

This weekend alone with the children will be tough but what a seriously good opportunity for me to cut back as I will be the sole carer.

Hope you all have a good, positive and safe weekend. And thank you all x

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

OH Golly Gee, I just love logging in here and seeing all the wonderful posting taking place.
Mimi, I hope you didn't jump ship. Each time you get through a tough trigger time, it makes you that much stronger.
VG, love your post. Love your strength. PLOM, I hope I remember that when my road seems bumpy.
Lav, Any exciting weekend plans for yourself? Do you ever spoil yourself?
JoeB, I've seen a lot of feedback that you should ween off of it. I wish I had that advice ahead of time because it was tough. So good job with decreasing your intake.
LIS, Hope you had something good to eat after your blood tests.
Andrew, at least you will be confident knowing you are doing the right thing by taking care of yourself.
Daisy, IC, and all others, glad you are checking in!
Had a superlong day again, but am feeling good. It is nearing the end of "Friday the 13th"and I am going to maybe watch scary movie. My husband hates them and will be forced to watch:H. Hope you all have a FANTASTIC day!