Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Friday morning Nesters!

Cloudy, no sun just as predicted - boo, hiss

sunshine, to answer your question.......I haven't quite figured out how to spoil myself these days! I love to travel, see new things, people & places but since my confused spouse ran off 13 months ago I'm kind of stuck. I can't imagine enjoying a trip alone so I'm staying put for now. I'll figure it out one of these days

joebloggs, keep expanding on that thinking ~ you won't be sorry! I'm here to tell you there is absolutely nothing to fear - sober is good!

Mimi, I hope you stayed on board with us last night :l

I had no idea today was Friday the 13th until I saw it on my computer - Duh.
Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Friday

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ahhh, the Voices!!!

Yes, those Voices in your head....Here's what you have to do: Tell them to shut the &*(# up!!! These are the times that separate the men from the boys...giving in is easy. But then again, that's exactly why we are here, we have always given in...because not doing so is just too hard (to be whined)...If you've got at least one day that you've gone without AL, then YOU KNOW you can do it. All you have to do is do it again. You can take my word on this, once you have fought a BAD urge and won....there's nothing you can't do. I wouldn't take my 115 AF days for the finest bottle of anything out there!! I am guarding them with my life. Literally. Fight those voices with all you've got!!! Nobody can force you to drink!!! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

New Nesters!!! Please don't look too far down the road...stay in the now. Focus on today...You are not losing a friend here, you are cutting out a cancer (disguised as a friend). Take it one hurdle at a time.....this CAN be done and is BEING done by us all!!! Byrdie

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Hi all - sorry to see so many struggling - I too have been AWOL, but have taken some pride in the fact that I have not been drinking as much, and feel better for that. On my last post I wondered if I could drive home from work without stopping at the store - well, stopped i did!!
My golas had been a whole month, and then adjusted to beating my April record - now I am taking wise advice from nest friends and am going to try the ODAT approach and celebrate victories rather than guilt for failing.
I am proud of what I am achieving and need to keep that focus.
I lurk daily and see you all - and so glad to have the support and friends.
it is the start of Fri 13th - off to see realtor and see if i have to short sell or need to go foreclosure route on my old house - oh well...
will check in later - be good, be safe, be proud of what you have all achieved!

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nest,
QUickie is I am orf to work!
I started this journey 6 weeks ago today, and I tell ya, one day at a time is the only way for me to go. As some of you know, in that time I have decided I will drink in a certain situation, then when I was in that situation I thought out the pros and cons, which is mostly cons, and did not drink. In some ways I still romanticize AL, have a love for it, but I know it is an illusion I create. Over the time I have been away from AL, I have thought about times when I was perceived as a "normal" drinker, and realize I was already on the ship to overboard. The longer you go AF, the more reflection you will have about this. There is no quick fix in AL, there are no problems solved with AL, just more created. I have watched those close to me drink to much at times and be hurtful or thoughtless due to AL, my best friend on my wedding night, mom on past birthdays, etc. I can only imagine how many times I was hurting someone. I realize that is not the person I want to be, not how I want others to remember me as it is not who I am. I have also seen some posts on this site by someone drinking, and the words typed were not recognizable as the same sober person. They were cruel and spiteful and uncalled for. We have to be responsible for ourselves, we have to take care of ourselves because no one will like we will. I am glad you are all here trying. This is a journey of self discovery. Sometimes I think I am "bored"or that I may mod in the future, and then I start remembering things that happened due to drink and I think perhaps never again. I hope everyone has a wonderful day. Just putting some of myself out there. One day at a time. My next addiction to tackle is going to be sugar I think. XO everyone:h:h:h

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

Byrd, You are right about the voices! Glad to see you here!
Lav, Oz is a great place to visit. We have two spare rooms and are 5 minutes from the beach!
SL, One day at a time. Glad you're still hanging out in the nest.
DSLR, Are you still around?
Have a good one. Late again I am.

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters!

Andrew, be glad to be your surrogate mammy son, just holler when you need me! Don't feel too bad about the past, it's the present that matters. Andrew, what you do now is going to shape the rest of your life, isn't that awesome?

joebloggs, you are taking baby steps, thats good. What is your plan? We wil be with you, every step. Have a great weekend with your kids. A great opportunity for you to really see how good life can be AL free, if you think you can. Why not try for just one day. Cheating AL out of all that attention and focus and directing it to your kids? Don't waste your energy grieving for AL, AL is not your friend, and he sure as hell doesn't love you like your kids do. Let us know how you get on :l

byrd, so good to see you posting, always common sense but always brings a smile to my face!

scottish, good to see you climb back on board! ODAT is definitely the way to go! (even down to minutes!) Urges pass, eventually. Distract yourself. Read the toolkit, knit a scarf, make a pot of tea, anything! Good for you in celebrating your successes as well, very important.

sunshine, I loved your post so much I am going to repost it!

I started this journey 6 weeks ago today, and I tell ya, one day at a time is the only way for me to go. As some of you know, in that time I have decided I will drink in a certain situation, then when I was in that situation I thought out the pros and cons, which is mostly cons, and did not drink. In some ways I still romanticize AL, have a love for it, but I know it is an illusion I create. Over the time I have been away from AL, I have thought about times when I was perceived as a "normal" drinker, and realize I was already on the ship to overboard. The longer you go AF, the more reflection you will have about this. There is no quick fix in AL, there are no problems solved with AL, just more created. I have watched those close to me drink to much at times and be hurtful or thoughtless due to AL, my best friend on my wedding night, mom on past birthdays, etc. I can only imagine how many times I was hurting someone. I realize that is not the person I want to be, not how I want others to remember me as it is not who I am. I have also seen some posts on this site by someone drinking, and the words typed were not recognizable as the same sober person. They were cruel and spiteful and uncalled for. We have to be responsible for ourselves, we have to take care of ourselves because no one will like we will. I am glad you are all here trying. This is a journey of self discovery. Sometimes I think I am "bored"or that I may mod in the future, and then I start remembering things that happened due to drink and I think perhaps never again. I hope everyone has a wonderful day. Just putting some of myself out there. One day at a time. My next addiction to tackle is going to be sugar I think. XO everyone

Sunshine, you tell it like it really is. I have been guilty of kind of masking all the hard stuff; but you are right to put it out there. It isn't easy. It's really hard at times. Life is hard. But AL doesn't make it easier, AL magnifies the bad stuff and even hides the good stuff. I am so glad you posted this!

Lav, I know it has been said before, but you are an absolute life-saver. Stick with us, please.

Was also thinking about DSLR and Jolie and a few others, pop in and say hi?

To anyone I missed, hope you are winning. Goodnight nest.

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Vintage Girl, 'preciate it!
Day 4 AF done and dusted for me anyway. I had an awful evening contemplating going drinking because I kinda finished my college course today and it was Friday evening in the summer and I was feeling good....but then I pretty much realised WHY I was feeling good and I settled down with a movie (Greenberg; not bad and quite apt) and it passed. Now I'm going to bed full of ideas and ambitions and grooving on a Steve Miller track that was on the soundtrack that I have on Youtube on repeat :H
(That's one of the things I hated about being hungover actually, I have no desire for music, or food, or anything really. AL just sucks the life out of me, save for the few hours when I'm drunk. And it's not worth it.)

By the way, Byrdlady, if I could, I'd print out your voices post and stick it on my wall for motivation!

Goodnight to all and take care

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening all!

What a busy Friday i had but it was all good

Byrdie, I elect you to fill in my Nest Mum spot when I finally do get around to taking a vacation
You have my Lavan-itude attitude :H

scottish lass, I know you have a lot going on in your life but I do hope you can remain on board with us. You really don't need AL complicating your life right now.

sunshine - you live 5 minutes from the beach - nice!
I'll keep a visit to you on my wish list
CONGRATS on your 6 AF Weeks!!!!!

VG, you sound great! I nominate you to be assistant Nest Mum!!

Andrew, 4 AF days make a huge difference - congrats! Stay on track now, it keeps getting better!

Calling it a day & wishing everyone a good night!
Lav

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

I am so sorry to disappoint all of you but yes I drank last night. I hope that is the last time I have to admit it to you.

I bought a copy of the MWO book today so feel hopefull that it will help. Your post also helped but I read them after the fact.

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

I am sorry to say I drank last night so am back to day 1 hopefully for the last time.

I bought a copy of the MWO book today so feel encouraged.

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Lav and Bryd - you guys rock! I know I need my nest mothers - thank you so much!
Friday night - recieved a foreclosure notice in the mail- also a tax demand for $21,000 - god knows where they got that amount from! for 2008 - it was Friday 13th! in spite of all that - I did not finish the bottle of wine - I believe there is a good glass left in - and for that I am proud, and off to bed before i finish it and start the next one.
The nest is supporting me - I look forward to the day when I will be able to support the nest!!
i also miss DSLR and a couple of others, hope they are ok...

[vintage girl]

Newbies Nest

Am away for a couple of days, be well everyone! :l

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Saturday morning Nesters!

Not a drop of sunlight to be found in Lav-land today - oh well!

Mimi, I'm sorry you made the decision to drink!
Read the MWO book & I hope you can form a good sense of resolve to take the necessary steps to improve you life.

scottish lass, I hope you have the help of a lawyer and/or good accountant to help you maneuver through your financial woes - goodness! Where is your husband in all this? He is responsible every bit as much as you :l

VG, hope you are away for a few days of sun & fun! Enjoy!

Don't know yet how my weekend will be spent but it will be indoors due to weather. I have plenty of things that need attention so I should just get them done

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!
Lav

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

Heading to bed. I will check in tomorrow after I take my lovely pups to the RSPCA walk. Take Care everyone!
Thank you VG, and have a great trip. Lav, stay dry!