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    Newbies Nest

    Good morning! Feeling fine this morning....even though, like you Lav - this weather sucks. The long range forecast shows nothing but rain until at least NEXT Wednesday...Let's hope they're wrong.

    I have the cutest little hummingbird that likes my yellow hanging baskets out front. I just put up blinds rather than lace curtains, so I can see him really well sitting here!

    The weather and my determination to not drink by keeping busy - has led me to have about a million half started projects around the house...I finally got the wood blinds installed on the whole house - have to finish painting my kitchen cabs - painted my bedroom a year ago and don't like it so I'm contemplating a different wall color - and yesterday I started painting the knotty pine in my laundry room that I've been wanting to do for years. And I have a boatload of flowers on the back deck to put into pots as soon as I dare go outside....

    Is this typical???? I hope I don't crash and burn.

    "I think one of the dozens of reasons I drank was to drown out the mind chatter...it just numbed me over and all I had to worry about was getting the next drink. Now, I have to deal with the things that are going on up there and sort them out...that's the big difference, I think. Not sure I'm saying that the right way, but maybe the nest will know what I mean." Byrdie, I DO know exactly what you mean. Maybe that's why all the projects...I don't know how to sort out those thoughts and some are leading to actions. My hubby must think I'm crazy!:H

    It's funny, yesterday, working on my laundry room project, I really craved a drink. I really thought about it and almost decided that "projects" might not be the best thing for me to do - as I would typically drink while doing a project....but then I realized that I would typically drink while doing anything - :H seriously. Read a book with a nice glass of wine, take a bath with a glass of wine, cook dinner with a glass of wine, paint my bedroom with a big glass of "water" which was 1/3 vodka...plant flowers with the glass of "water" - sit at the computer with my glass of "water" - ...so I guess at this point there isn't much I CAN do that won't initiate cravings - so I will continue to drink selzer and pom juice and try to surf those urges...I did it yesterday and all I can do is keep trying.
    ~

    Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

    Sobriety date: Sept 26, 2011

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      Newbies Nest

      Starting again - another Monday feeling horrible - wish there was an easy way to achieve this. Day 1 - hope to God that I can make this work...
      Thanks for all the posts from those who have been successful talking about all the starts and stops that they endured before achieving what we are all hunting for here.....
      “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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        Newbies Nest

        Evening all! I've been away for a couple of days, looks like there has been a lot going on in the nest in my absence, I've got a lot of reading and catching up to do!

        Was away with my husband, sister and brother in law. My sister had a lot to drink over the weekend, we used to drink together but i haven't had the chance to spend much time with her since I stopped. I told her I am on a health kick and that I wouldn't be drinking...initially she wasn't pleased but it didn't stop her!

        My husband hasn't said much to me over these last few months about not drinking, he is not a big drinker and he doesn't make a big deal out of it (probably scared to jinx me!)

        He did have a beer or two though and at one point he took my hand and told me that he is and always has been very proud of me. I really appreciate his support although he isn't shouty about it, I just always know it's there.

        I am getting quite used to the social aspect of not drinking. Here in the West of Scotland it can feel very much like being the 'elephant in the room' sometimes, but I don't mind. I'd rather be the elephant in the room than the hungover mess my sister was this morning! (I love her dearly, she has been a rock to me and I hope she maybe sees how great I feel and cuts back a bit.)

        Scottish, don't beat yourself up. You too Mimi, you are both trying so hard and have achieved AL free time against the odds. It CAN be done and you both can do it by learning from your own mistakes.

        Lolab, it's good to keep busy, and AL robs of us so much energy that I think when he finally leaves our systems we go into overdrive! Not a bad thing, getting things done!

        Lav, the weather here is atrocious today, just llike winter! (great excuse for hubs and I to cosy up today, we so rarely get time off at the same time!)

        Sunshine, byrd, dancing, Inchy, Andrew and anyone else who stops by, have a great Monday!

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          Newbies Nest

          Lolab, yes, my mind is going in different directions, but it seems to manifest in getting my house in order...litterally. At first, I went thru my closets, then the attic, just getting rid of things, the clutter....trying to make everything manageable. Trying to clear out the stuff that was getting in the way, while at the same time doing just that in my head. There were/are things up there that need to be sorted out and put away...I can't seem to explain it the way I want to...but decluttering my mind and my home seem to be going hand in hand.
          Lav, thanks for the wake up to reality, while my Dad is on my list, I don't think I'm on his....Byrdie
          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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            Newbies Nest

            FUSK...
            BIG LONG POST AND I LOST IT. FUSK FUSKFUSK. HAve to run to work. WIll type back later.
            Hi LOLAB, BYRD, LAV, and VG!

            Ive learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. -Martha Washington

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              Newbies Nest

              Hi again Nesters!

              lolab, despite this crappy weather I saw the first hummingbird of the season this morning too
              I have the feeder near my kitchen window ~ love seeing them! Don't worry about the projects, they'll get done. Just be grateful that your brain is allowing you to think about making your surroundings nice. When I was depressed & drinking I really didn't give a damn about stuff.

              scottish lass, there is no easy way to do this - you have to just bite the bullet & do it!
              If it was easy to quit & change your life we wouldn't all be here, right? It helped me to know that there were so many others before me who successfully quit & improved their lives. They did it si I could do it - you can too. You need to want to quit more than you want to continue to drink.......think about it.

              VG, sorry to hear about your sister. Maybe she will follow your lead, you never know.
              Byrdie, I had to learn the hard way of course that we don't need anyone's permission or approval to take the necessary steps to improve our lives. What we need is attitude (Lavan-itude) to just start on our own journey - do whatever we have to do & don't worry about anything/anyone else

              I tell myself every day how fortunate I am to have found MWO & the collective strength & wisdom to help me on my journey
              AF since 03/26/09
              NF since 05/19/09
              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                Newbies Nest

                hey everyone, day 22. had the worst night since I went AF last night - trouble sleepign then woke up multiple times to a feeling of crushing dispair which was just oh so fun. Spent half the night asleep, half staring up at my ceiling just letting the waves of dispair crash over me. i'm hardly able to work now, I just can't focus, can't make myself care. God I don't know how you guys did it, I sure as hell don't see myself lasting like this haha

                xIC
                I have faced it, a life wasted, and I am never going back there again

                To ya'll my name is inchy. I am an alcoholic - and priority number one is making it to the end of this day AF. No excuses.

                18.08.13

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Hi all...actually suiting outside the wine shop... Feel like whining...I want it but I don't....I get it Lav, I have to bite the bullet, but it is so hard!

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                    Newbies Nest

                    IC, please go talk to someone about your emotional changes. This has nothing to do with having no alcohol in your system. Your subconscious is trying to convince you of that but it's not true.
                    Obviously there are other issues at hand. Please go talk to someone about this :l

                    4MyHealth - I may or may not have mentioned here that the wine shop is directly next to the supermarket. There is no wine or beer sold in supermarkets here (and I'm grateful for that). So for the past 2 years & nearly 2 months I park in the same parking lot but NEVER have stepped foot in that shop. I vowed I wouldn't do it & I meant business. You can do it too
                    AF since 03/26/09
                    NF since 05/19/09
                    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Good Tuesday morning Nesters!

                      Where is everyone????
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Morning Nesters! Starting over again - was'nt going to post as so embarrassed but see that Mimi and Scottish Lass have been brave enough so I am jumping on board!
                        Was doing ok last week, offering to do driver for family and friends on their nights out - turned out to be my downfall! One of my passengers was so grateful she bought me 3 bottles of wine!!!!!!! Yes, I could have got rid of them but.........
                        This is something I don't expect to happen again and I am not ready to go public and tell anyone. Just have to suck it up and move on........
                        Keeping in touch and reading your posts has given me the courage to keep on trying where I would normally keep on drinking, so thank you all. I hope at some stage to contribute more......roll on AF days!
                        IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                        Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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                          Newbies Nest

                          HIya Lav, I am here. I have just spent most of my night wondering old threads. I like to read some of them from start to finish. I just finished you know your an alcoholic when....and added my own. I am getting ready to head off to bed though as it is 11:30 on Tuesday night. I am hoping I don't hit my snooze tomorrow so that I can cruise the sight before I go to work. We'll see. Anyways, good morning to you :l.
                          Hi IC, I think Lav is right, it sounds like it maybe something else going on with you. Best to get it checked it out. Good luck.
                          4my, Scottish, and Mimi, hang in there. Maybe not everyday will be a victory, but at least you're giving it a fighting chance. :h:h:h
                          VG, I hope you enjoyed yourself. That is lovely that your husband shared his support for you.
                          Lolab, I think projects are good if that's your thing. My husband loves projects. I no longer help with many after a big fight over my brush stroke being wrong for painting a white wall. I think also it is good to get used to doing things we used to while drinking, without the AL. Anyways, BRAVO!
                          Bird, Hello friend. See you all in the am! HAve a good one!

                          Ive learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. -Martha Washington

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Hi Daisy, glad you posted. Don't ever be worried that just because you drank that you shouldn't post. Even if it's not AF days all strung together, at least you can add up the days you do have under your belt. Keep plugging away, just take each minute as it comes. Hope you have a good day!:l

                            Ive learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. -Martha Washington

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Thanks so much Sunshine, means a lot! Going for a nice bath now to help me feel like the NEW ME!:thanks:
                              IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                              Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Here in North Carolina, we have an evangelist named Billy Graham. Unlike many of the so called Bible thumpers, he always has seemed to be the genuine article, at least to me. I read an article on him some time ago and someone had asked him a rather personal question. "How is it that you have remained faithful to your wife for all this time?" He replied, "I am never alone with a woman who isn't my wife." If we take that into the task that we are all working on here, it means, don't put yourself in a situation that might cause you to fail....ESPECIALLY at first. Don't sit in front of the wine store! Don't go down the wine aisle! Set yourself up to succeed! Because the more you THINK about it the more you can justify it and that is our undoing!! DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!! Go look at fungal cremes or the poor souls with aching hemmoroids....anything else to get your mind out of that downward spiral that happens when we think too much!
                                I was having a bit of a pitty party myself yesterday, so i went to the link that SL suggested, You might be an alcoholic if...... Ouch. That shook me back to reality. I'd rather be the white elephant in the room for not drinking, than to be one because I am. Put on your armour, and let's get out there and fight this beast who lies to us!!!!
                                All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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