Newbies Nest

[gertrude mcfuzz]

Newbies Nest

Hi newbies
I came to this forum just over a year ago. With an amazing amount of strength that I gained from the incredible people on this forum I strung many weeks together AF. I found the members on this forum so accepting and encouraging and I couldn't have done it on my own. Although I wasn't completely AF long term I gave up getting drunk for months. This year has been a steady decline unfortunately.

I need to find that strength again. I am not in a good place at the moment. I have read wise words on this forum about gaining acceptance of myself and that is what I need to do. Tomorrow will have to be day 1 for me because I stopped drinking at 4am this morning. (its afternoon now)

I am soon to be 40 with 3 amazing children aged 4,6, and 8. I am living with hangups from my childhood. I have so much hate inside of me, and anxiety about gaining approval from others. Sometimes I think my brain is going to explode.

Already after writing these words I am gaining the beginnings of the strength I need. I will get a journal and start putting thoughts down. Thanks for listening.

I am so grateful for this forum.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Welcome back Gert!
I'm glad you posted, that's a hard first step. Childhood hangups are a common theme, you are not alone Someone here introduced mea few years ago to 'Radical Forgiveness' by Colin Tipping. The book, the website, his recordings have all helped me immensely.
Don't forget to look in the Tool box for great ideas to help you make your plan. I wish you the best & be sure to let us know how you are doing

I'm heading out for the day. Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[Natilie]

Newbies Nest

Happy Saturday Nesters! Nats here reporting 12 days AF!! Thinking about writing a song "The 12 days of Sobriety"...:H. Working on lucky 13 today.
Welcome back Gert!! I agree with you that this is an amazing supportive forum. I could not have made it without the nesters. I too am very grateful. We are all here for you and so just keep posting how you feel and what's on your mind. And you are such a busy mom with 3 little ones!
Have a fun, busy weekend everyone . And those of you working this weekend, hope it is going well. I got a new book in the mail that I ordered so looking forward to some down time with that.
Sending good thoughts and blessings to all,
Natilie
"No alcohol today I'm living in excellence". :h

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Hello, just to say my very dear friend was found dead on thurday. I am heartbroken.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Natilie, congrats to you
I hope you do write that song

Wanted to say good night - where are all the Nesters??
Hope everyone is tucked in safe for the night!

Lav

[Natilie]

Newbies Nest

So sorry, Daisy. You are in my prayers.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Daisy - I didn't see you post, we cross posted.
I am very sorry for your loss & will keep you in my thoughts & prayers as well.
Please stay in touch with us, hope we can help in some way :l

[BlueFlower]

Newbies Nest

I just wanted to say "hi."
This is my first post. I am glad to find this forum.
I have been reading quite a few posts.
I saw someone suggest that it might be too hard to go from drinking a lot to moderation and that it might be good to be alcohol free for 30 days and then try moderating. I guess that is my goal, but it sounds overly ambitious. I am going to try this on a day by day basis and see if I can make it to 10 days. There are several "events" that would usually include drinking coming up this week.
Today was an alcohol free day. That is good.
I was glad to see someone else on here doing weight watchers. I am trying to lose weight at WW. Cutting out alcohol will cut out a lot of empty calories, so it might help me lose weight. It will certainly make me feel healthier and happier. I was thinking it is going to be hard to watch my drinking and watch my eating both but I am trying to think of them together as something to make me healthier - eat healthy food, avoid alcohol, and exercise.
Daisy, I am sorry to hear that your friend died. My condolences to you.

[gertrude mcfuzz]

Newbies Nest

Daisy, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend, Hugs(()). Wishing you strength in this difficult time.

Welcome BlueFlower:welcome: Good on you for doing weight watchers too. It is a great program and looking after yourself will help keep you strong to stay AF too. Yes it all ties in together doesn't it? I am working on self acceptance to help me make the right choices at the moment. (I am only day 1AF today, but it is a start)

Lavande- thanks for your kind words. Even though I know I'm not alone with the childhood hangups it is always reassuring to hear that. Others have and are working through their issues and I can too. I had a look at the "Radical Forgiveness" website, what a mountain of information there. Great suggestion, I will keep coming back to it and will probably order the book too. His words really resonate with me in his welcome message, including when he says trying to work out what it is that is stopping me from moving ahead.

Well I made a brave step earlier today and made a phone call to a friend about something that has been eating at me. I was going to let it go, but I am working on self acceptance, so forced myself to ring her. Well it all turned out great! Basically she had asked me to do something I was really uncomfortable about doing, so I told her I was concerned about it and she was absolutely fine... Typically I would have stewed about, had a few drinks to relieve my anxiety and just gone along and done what she wanted me too. But not this time And she didn't mind at all...Aaaah. Sigh of relief there.

Natilie - well done on Day 12! Thanks for the welcome and I hope you are enjoying your new book.

Yes hope everyone is having a happy and safe weekend.

[hillsidetime]

Newbies Nest

Goodmorning, I just wanted to pop into the nest and say hello, and happy fathers day, to all those Dad's out there. It is great to read up on how hard you are all working.

Hi Lav, I hope you are well.
Hill

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

So many dear ones to respond to, so I'll say hello to everyone, plus:

Daisy, I am so sorry about the loss of your friend. I wish I could mend your heart. Time will, I hope.

Gert, Do you mind if I call you that? It's easier to type. I understand your rage, resentment and anxiety about your past. Anxiety is the worst, I think. I've finally come to a place where I am able, for the most part, to let go of the resentment and anger. Sometimes it flairs up, but only after I've been ruminating. As someone here said, "Thoughts become things, so think good ones." I don't always think good thoughts, but when the bad ones start, I tell my self, "Don't start, don't start, don't start," very quickly in succession so they don't stick in my brain. Don't know if that will work for you, but it's worth a try. Someone else said, "Judging others creates resentment." That's really stuck with me. Once I judge, the resentment and anger builds. Good luck.

[BlueFlower]

Newbies Nest

I am about to start Day 2 AF and I am ready. I feel energized. I like the way Gertrude McFuzz did it. I am going to add a signature file to my profile.

[BlueFlower]

Newbies Nest

I am about to start Day 2 AF and I am ready. I feel energized. I like the way Gertrude McFuzz put her goal on the bottom of her post. I am going to add a signature file to my profile.
I learned something last night that should have been obvious - I can NOT substitute caffeinated drinks for glasses of wine. I need to stock up on some nice no-alcohol, no caffeine beverages!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Wonderful to see so many here

Hello & welcome BlueFlower! Glad you dropped into the nest, make yourself comfortable.
The MWO book explains everything about the recommendation to go 30 days AF before attempting to drink moderately. You can download the book right here from the Health store.
Everyone is different of course but as I approached my 30 days my thinking radically changed. I asked myself honestly if I was ready for just one glass of wine. The answer was a resounding NO so I decided to remain AF & I have never regretted that decision

Gert, the Radical Forgiveness book is great. Using the work sheet to help work through a problem or resentment when one pops up is a great tool

Juja, redirecting your 'sef-talk' works wonders. I kick any negative thoughts out the moment they arise

Hi Hill, good to see you as well!

Wishing everyone a good AF Sunday & Father's Day if celebrating!

Lav

[Nelz]

Newbies Nest

BlueFlower;1133159 wrote: I just wanted to say "hi."
This is my first post. I am glad to find this forum.
I have been reading quite a few posts.
I saw someone suggest that it might be too hard to go from drinking a lot to moderation and that it might be good to be alcohol free for 30 days and then try moderating. I guess that is my goal, but it sounds overly ambitious. I am going to try this on a day by day basis and see if I can make it to 10 days. There are several "events" that would usually include drinking coming up this week.
Today was an alcohol free day. That is good.
I was glad to see someone else on here doing weight watchers. I am trying to lose weight at WW. Cutting out alcohol will cut out a lot of empty calories, so it might help me lose weight. It will certainly make me feel healthier and happier. I was thinking it is going to be hard to watch my drinking and watch my eating both but I am trying to think of them together as something to make me healthier - eat healthy food, avoid alcohol, and exercise.
Daisy, I am sorry to hear that your friend died. My condolences to you.

One of the best benefits to cutting AL out of our diets......Ive noticed a pretty big difference...good luck to you