Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

mylife, I hope you can post a picture or two - I've never been to Alaska & pretty sure I won't go on my own. Enjoy the rest of your stay.

Barbara, a close call serves as reinforcement.......you did well

scottish lass, day 2 almost over for you.......keep going, you can do it

Mimi, sorry to hear you are having problems on the Topamax but a big congrats to you on your 22 AF days! Great work! Nice to see you today.

My garden is running over with zucchini if anyone wants any :H

[ThreeDogNight]

Newbies Nest

Congrats, Barbara!

Hi, Barbara.

You remain an inspiration!! Don't beat yourself up--look what you did! You didn't give in no matter how bad the cravings were. And you have yet another day under your belt. That is so admirable.

I am going to listen to the CDs now. They seem to be helping.

The place I visited today was not right for me for recovery, so am hoping to hear from another place tomorrow that has a two week intensive program. Looks like no place will take my insurance, so private pay, but I so hope I can get into this at the end of next week.

Stay strong!!

:goodjob:TDN

[BlueFlower]

Newbies Nest

3 days. It seems early in the evening to say it though. Dang!
Thanks so much for the support! I really appreciate it.
I think I am going to go brush my teeth so my mouth feels very minty.
That works well for not eating anything else today,too, which is probably good for WW.
Wait. One one-point sugar free fudgsicle and then I will brush my teeth.

[Adeey]

Newbies Nest

:new:

Morning Nesties

Day 21 AF for me. I have been lurking a long time and have spent many (sober!) hours reading through the posts here. Some info. about me ? I'm female, 47, and have been binge drinking since my late teens ? 'only' once a week or so, so I thought that was ok. A couple of years ago I started drinking most nights and was hooked. I went downhill from there, until a few months ago I was drinking 24/7 and chucked in my job because it was interfering with my drinking. I have a very supportive family but it was wearing everyone down, and I was pretty down on myself, waking up every morning with a hangover, saying 'today's the day I stop' and of course not being able to, so I would reach for the booze to combat the hangover.

I ended up in a 28 day rehab. which was brilliant in many ways, but (there's always a but, isn't there!) it was 12 step based which didn't suit me. I tried really hard, went to over 30 AA meetings but simply couldn't 'do it'. I came out of there about 8 weeks ago having been 28 days AF, armed with a lot of information and insight, but started to drink again and saw myself slipping into old habits. In the meantime I've been seeing a very understanding drug and alcohol specialist who prescribed me naltrexone. I'd had it before and it didn't seem to do much for me, and it didn't again so I continued to drink (maybe it helped but the AV and the habit aspect of the addiction was just too strong for me?). 21 days ago he prescribed me Antabuse, 200mg tablets once a day.

I've read extensively about it, including all the discussion in MWO and I've very aware of how potentially dangerous it is. But I tell you what, it's the ONLY thing that is stopping me from drinking. It's simply not an option. There is no choice. The fact is that if I don't take it today I still can't drink tomorrow even, because it takes ages to leave your system. So I take it. But I have made my husband swear that he will give it to me every night and make sure I take it. Why? Because the AV is whispering to me ? 'don't take it for a couple of weeks and have JUST ONE MORE SESSION' ? but the voice is getting weaker.

I know Antabuse is not the answer in the long term, it's a crutch, and I need to work on WHY I'm drinking, with the help of counselling, but in the meantime it's keeping me sober so I can do that, and also get out of the HABIT of drinking. I'm doing that, I'm thinking about booze less as the weeks go on, and I'm getting less resentful at the thought of ? GASP ? never drinking again. But I try not to think of that too much. When I do, I try to think that many people have great lives without booze, so I can too.

Unfortunately I live in Adelaide, an hour from the Barossa Valley and the wine culture is big here. Thankfully I have wonderful and understanding friends who are, without having been asked, socialising with hubby and I in a non-alcohol environment ? e.g. going to the movies and coffee and cake afterwards instead of a boozy dinner. I'm working towards being able to socialise around people drinking, but baby steps at the moment.

I initially lost some weight, but am now picking at food all day ? better than drinking, I suppose! Chippies, lollies and boy have I been craving fruit ? it used to be that the only fruit I ate was in cocktails lol

Looking forward to being part of the gang here! :yougo:

[Barbara1234]

Newbies Nest

scottish lass;1133951 wrote: as always - thanks for everyones support as I start all over again. I am starting to identify triggers etc. Funnily enough my horoscope during this periond said "Catch yourself before you set off headlong as you might find you're acting out a pattern from early life. You could be masking pain by indulging, or you could be using words or action to mask an inner hurt. You could be running after one thing when you really need another. Slow down. Observe your behavior. You'll come to a realization that can uplift and change things for you." - maybe I should be better about reading my horoscope.
As I read my posts, I find them all about me and begging for supprt/help - I so look forward to the time when I am getting this behind me and i can not be so needy!!!
Day two and a lovely not hungover Monday

Hi Lass,

Good to see you here again. I would use that horoscope for whenever you feel like you want to drink. I would tape it up somewhere, and keep a copy in your wallet when you are out. That's really a good one. You're ok, you jumped right back on! That's great.
I know for me that being away from home is harder for me too. Keep up the good work!

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Morning all.

Just wanted to pop in and say hi. I havent been around alot lately but have been thinking of you all and hoping your are reaching your goals no matter how small they are. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and it will get easier.

I will celebrate 100 days AF next week which I find amazing. It has gone so quick. I feel strong and confident.

Trying to live in the moment which is soooo hard for me. Always thinking about the past and wondering about the future!

Stay strong my friends.

Hippy

[Habsfan]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Adeey to the Nest!

:welcome: Adeey!
Glad you've joined the nesters. You'll find many friends here who have gone through / are going through the same journey, many one day at a time.

Congrats on day 21 AF! Well done. :goodjob:

I was going to submit a post, today is day 17 AF for me. I was going to say that I've found 4 hours a day of quality time with the people who mean the most to me. That time used to be taken by AL. I've lost a few pounds, saved a few hundred dollars and am enjoying this new outlook on life. I really don't miss hangovers either! Bottom line is that there is no downside. And this is my motivation, each and every day.

I have a son living in Surfer's Paradise. When we visited a few years ago he was living on Mt. Tambourin and I remember visiting 6 of the 7 wineries on the mountain. Oh yeah, the distillery too. So I know what you mean about the wine and AL culture of your beautiful country.

I have no experience with any of the recommended medications mentioned here but lots of others do. I know they'll be able and willing to offer suggestions and guidance. As I said earlier, you made a wise choice coming to the Nest.

To have a supportive husband and friends is a bonus!

Stay determined Adeey, you can beat this and be AF.

Russ in Canada

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hello again,

TDN, I hope you find what you are looking for soon!
Glad to hear you are using the CDs - I really liked them

BlueFlower, congrats to you on your 3 AF days - very nice! Keep moving forward now, you'll love the results.

Hello & welcome Adeey!
Congrats to you as well - 21 days is awesome. Glad you dropped in - make yourself comfy for a while. Sounds like you have a good plan in place. I hope you make the best of your med & counseling & keep your success going!

Hippy, where have you been? Nearing your 100 AF days - Wow! I am very happy for you

Russ, congrats to you on your 17 AF days! Glad you dropped in tonight. Stick around for a while!

Wishing everyone a good & safe night in the Nest!
Lav

[Nelz]

Newbies Nest

Hippy Chick;1134133 wrote: Morning all.

Just wanted to pop in and say hi. I havent been around alot lately but have been thinking of you all and hoping your are reaching your goals no matter how small they are. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and it will get easier.

I will celebrate 100 days AF next week which I find amazing. It has gone so quick. I feel strong and confident.

Trying to live in the moment which is soooo hard for me. Always thinking about the past and wondering about the future!

Stay strong my friends.

Hippy

Pure Awesomeness, cant wait to say that myself

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

The side effects I have had on topomax:
right leg and foot is numb. severe tiredness, numbing in both hands and dizzyness. These are the ones off the top of my head right now but I may add more later.

[Natilie]

Newbies Nest

So many posts to read! So inspirational! And I have made it through my 15th day AF!! YAY!!!!
Really wanted wine tonight after work. Realized that I was bored and that was my trigger. So just got really busy cleaning and organizing the mail. Had really let it pile up--what a mess! :H. Amazing how I keep discovering all these things I just let slide before.
So grateful for the posts about triggers. I am stopping and thinking about that every time I crave AL. Seems to be helping me a lot to think about my triggers.
My goal now is 15 more days AF. I have a social event coming up in July. With 30 days AF it should help me stay strong. And I'll just say I'm on a medication that I can't drink with--(little fib) . Can't imagine anyone asking me WHAT I am taking, for heavens sake!

Have a blessed and peaceful night nesters! Looking forward to reading posts from all of you tomorrow. :h
Natilie

[InChains]

Newbies Nest

Hey all, great to see everybodys achievements on here this morning

I drank again this morning. Thats twice in one week, I don't know why. I've only been dirnking again a short time, not nearly long enough to build up that kind of steam... heads all over the place now

xIC

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Tuesday morning Nesters!

Hi Nelz! Keep going, you'll get to that 100 day mark pretty quickly!

Mimi, honestly, are you sure the Topa side effects are worth it? I'm just speaking for myself but I would discontinue the medication & search for a healthier way to get past the cravings. Have you tried the MWO CDs? They helped me change my thinking about AL & the cravings became thoughts that I was able to dismiss easily.

Natilie, taking care of our needs first really works. Hungry, Angry, Lonely. Tired (HALT).
Congrats to you for recognizing a trigger.

IC, are you drinking because you are bored or lonely perhaps??

Wishing everyone a good AF Tuesday. Not sure yet what I'm doing today but I know it won't involve AL

Lav

[Barbara1234]

Newbies Nest

ThreeDogNight;1134098 wrote: Hi, Barbara.

I am going to listen to the CDs now. They seem to be helping.

The place I visited today was not right for me for recovery, so am hoping to hear from another place tomorrow that has a two week intensive program. Looks like no place will take my insurance, so private pay, but I so hope I can get into this at the end of next week.

Stay strong!!

:goodjob:TDN

Hey TGN,

How are you doing? I know you will find the right place for your recovery because you are ready. I remember once someone told me "when the student is ready, the teacher will be there". Our entire lives are learning experiences and we meet our "teachers" in so many different places. I will be praying for you. The subliminal CD's are great. They help to reprogram your brain, while you sleep. I do them every night. Keep doing them, they will help you.
Mimi, those SE sound very uncomfortable, can you try something else???? What does the doc say?
Natalie, day 15 is HUGE!! I had to lie at a social function about having a sinus infection and taking antibiotics. Even with that, my friends tried to shove AL down my throat. I finally told them that the medication was very expensive and that AL cancels out the effectiveness, and I am in real pain. Why would I want to drink??? People are stupid.
Hi Nelz, Hippie, Lav and all new nesters. I hope you guys have a great day. Happy Summer everone!! Today is the first day of summer. Be happy you don't live where I do, it gets to 125 here. But we do have the fabulous Colorado River, and that makes up for it.......

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

B1234, people ARE stupid!!
I went out of town to a wedding this weekend, and believe me, the AL was flowing like water. In fact, it was hard to find water!!! People kept coming up to me and asking why I wasn't drinking....Now WHY would a person do this? What business is it of anyone else's what I choose to drink? Well, I think I know the answer...when people drink too much, they don't want to be the only ones...they want to justify in their minds that that's just the way it was...everybody got smashed! This is true of the hardcore drinkers...I noticed that the 18-20 year olds for the most part drank responsibly. It was people my age that poured it down. When I first got there, I'd have given anything for a drink to 'loosen up'. But after an hour or so, when the neck ties were being loosened and the lady's shoes tossed off, I felt better for being sober. I wasn't the one out on the dance floor making an ass of myself!!! The next morning, when we were getting ready to leave, no one was down in the lobby having breakfast except us. I guess the rest were passed out. A year ago, that would have been me. It's only uncomfortable for the first little bit when you go to a party...when asked, I just told them drinking aggravates a couple other things I have going on, and left it at that. The other things being my liver and my marriage.... Made it thru a big test....Day 153 Nesters!!!!!!! And COUNTING!! IF I CAN DO IT YOU CAN DO IT!!!!