Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Wow, good morning Nesters!

Lots of activity here - nice

Hi dancingon, how are you? And yes, it does feel normal to not drink AL after a while. Never thought that would happen but it did!

noodle, welcome back! What's your plan? What are you going to do differently this time? Don't forget to use some of the great ideas in the Tool box. Wishing you the best.

mimi, congrats to you for saying no thanks to the wine! That's what we have to keep doing to realize our goals - good for you!

witchwoman, congrats on your 3 AF weeks! Great job!!!
Sorry you are not feelin well, hope you can get some rest.

Corinne, Congrats to you, 108 AF days is awesome

Hippy, your friend does sound like she has a drinking problem but not ready to face it yet. Glad you stuck to your guns too!!!! I wish I could send you some of these raspberries - they are coming out of my ears :H

Wishing everyone a great AF Monday!

Lav

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all!

I'm headed back to reality today - the end of my trip. I'm not looking forward to going back to work and other issues I will be facing at home, but I am looking forward to sticking with my AF routine and choosing a healthier life for myself.

Sunshine, Hippy, Corinne, and Mia congratulations on your AF days building up!! It's inspiring to hear your stories. Dancing and Noodle - great to hear from you too!

Lav, you need to send some veggies through the web to us.

Have a great AF day everyone!

[Barbara1234]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters,

Just checking in. I have been reading all of your posts, but I am still in the middle of moving, and in my own private hell.
Day 37 for me. Stay strong everyone.

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Happy Monday Nesters lovely positive posts going on:goodjob:

Lav those veggies of yours are going great guns, I planted a veg area for the kids this year, it was my project in the early days, unfortiunately I ended up with a lot of leaves and foliage but not a lot of veg:H But we've enjoyed it.

So anyway back on the straight and narrow for me, I went out on my Moms night in and ended up giving in to that damn voice and had two small glasses of wine.

So what did I learn from my excursion back into the world of AL?

Well two tiny glasses is nowhere near enough, funny how some thoughts still haven't gone away. I hadn't intended specifically to drink, had taken my fizzy juice and a bottle for the girls, but found myself checking what wine everyone else had bought.

Then my friend was laughing over the size of the new glasses she'd brought for the evening, they were tiny, well I guess probably a normal size to most people, anyway I'd said to my oter friend on the walk up there that I would probably start with a cold drink as it was so hot and she was going to do the same, anyway distracted by the children another friend handed us drinks without asking what we wanted and I found myself with wine in my hand. I know I could have refused it and asked for something else but I tentatively sipped at it and straight away knew I will never be able to stop at one.

I had two small glasses all evening and that was so incrediably hard not to run screaming ito the kitchen I need more wine, luckily the others weren't in a drinking mood so we only had three bottles between four of us, usually I'd have drunk that amount on my own, I'd like to think if there had been more wine on offer I'd have declined it but I know I wouldn't have had.

So yes it was nice to feel normal for a few minutes with a wine in my hand but I know that would never be possible in reality, but the experience now has given me something to think back at if I feel tempted again the way I was last week. This time though there was none of that feeling yesterday of "Well I drank last night, I may as well drink today too" I was ready to just carry on being AF as is begining to feel the norm.

Anyway that was my Saturday night

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Sunshine, your post was so eloquent. It is a process isn't it? Thinking just changes along the way ...I was making deals with myself...then as time passes it sinks in that AL is not welcome in my life..and that's ok. The people that get bent out of shape because we aren't drinking are JEALOUS. I would have been!!! In my hayday, going out with someone who didn't throw them back like I did would have been a drag. Normal drinkers don't think this way, I don't believe. When you start keeping the AL score, you might be an Alkie...and I kept score!!!
I think it's part of the process of grieving...I forget exactly which order they go in, I know the first is denial (Maybe I don't have that bad a problem), anger (dammit, everyone else drinks, why shouldn't I?) there's a couple others, but the last one is acceptance....and it's a very peaceful place to be. We took a trip last weekend by plane, and it was my first time...I thought how I would drink vodka in the bathrooms...in the terminal and on the plane...gosh, I didn't miss that at all. It's is such freedom to feel cut loose from those dam chains. Byrdie

[BlueFlower]

Newbies Nest

I am really getting a lot out of reading everyone's posts. I had a good Sunday. I had a good Monday. I need to figure out how to have good weekends where I just - plain and simple - do not drink.

I am afraid to try to start a 30 day run.

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Morning all.

Awoke to a wonderful thunder storm this morning. They are such a rarity here that I really do enjoy them when we finally get one (and rain.... oh so lovely... well, it is when you dont get it very often!). Although my scaredy cat has run off and hidden and we cant find her..... she doesnt like the thunder like I do!

My husband is away at a conference in New Zealand and he rang me last night. Usually I dont want to talk to him when he rings at night because inevitably he is pissed and talking rubbish. But he wasnt last night and it was so nice to hear. I can tell by how and what he is saying, how much he has had to drink. So it was a pleasant change to hear about his day and not be annoyed that he rang me drunk. So maybe he is learning too!

Talking about learning.... LIS - you learnt something about your night and it all helps on our journey. I honestly believe that sometimes we have to have those few glasses to prove to ourselves that it isnt as good as we build it up in our head. I know for myself, I had to have a few (at a particular point in my journey last year) just to dispell the myths I thought about AL and drinking. And once I had finally realised that I didnt "need" AL to do whatever it was I thought I had to have it for, I could move on (usually to the next problem but hey, at least i am moving forward!). So dont beat yourself up - dont use it as an excuse to have more, but learn from it and move on.

Well I had better get ready for work so have a good day/night my friends. Fingers crossed this rain sticks around!

Hip C (celebrating ONE HUNDRED DAYS SOBER today.... woo hoo!)

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

mylife, wishing you safe travels!

Hi Barbara - good for you on your 37 AF days - feels good, doesn't it?

LIS, do you plan not to drink with your friends in the future? If so then prepare yourself with a solid excuse or plan to leave early if you're feeling pressured. Sorry your veggie garden didn't work out. I don't know why mine is so crazy but I think it has something to do with the chicken poop recycled from my hens :H Anyway, it's growing better than ever

Hi Byrdie! It's funny but I rarely ever drank while flying. I prefer to be alert & aware of what's going on around me.

Hippy - CONGRATS to you on your 100 AF days!!!!! Terrific work, I'm very happy for you
Enjoy your rare thunder storm. We have them all the time around here & one of my dogs goes nuts - the other one doesn't even notice

Well, I wish everyone a safe & comfy night/day in the Nest!

Lav

[noodle]

Newbies Nest

Hi there everyone,
LIS, well done you. That for me would have been the end of my 'journey' it would have been a few weeks before I'd have stopped again, this is something I'm just beginning to accept, after too many relapses into excessive drinking, modding just isn't working. I was thinking about what I REALLY want. What I really want is to not WANT to drink, it's that WANT that I'm trying to acknowledge and deal with. I suppose they are cravings? Or is it that I just really want to get smashed off my face, all the time? Or is that the same thing? I dunno, identifying emotions are pretty tricky when you don't want to over-analyse yourself, because you don't want to face the truth. I was reading an article a few months ago about a young lady who was a recovering alcoholic, and her experience of her first drink mirrored my own. I was very young (I reckon about 9 or 10) and had the flu. My Mum told me to get a small brandy from the drinks cabinet, for medicinal purposes of course. I felt so grown up, and remember I even got myself a special chrystal glass to pour it in. I felt like it was Christmas, swirling it around, smelling the fumes, then wham, like nectar burning down my throat, and warming my stomach. I instantly poured another, then another, I reckon I must of had a good quarter of the decanter. I could have kept going, I desperately wanted to, but I was too scared I'd be told off. Amazingly I even then had a high tolerance for it, as if I was pre-armed. Alcohol was always around in my young life, it was no issue for me to have wine with dinner, a few shandies (larger and lemonade) at weekends, but that feeling never went away, the feeling of never wanting to stop once I started. My parents are both heavy drinkers, its obvious they both have a problem, but they are very strong willed and luckily I don't spend much time around them, as they just irritate me when they're drunk. Anyway, the point I'm (eventually :H) going to make is that LIS well done for holding that thought of what could have been, had more wine been there, if others were in the mood once you'd started, instead of justifying it as 'see...I can drink sensibly, therefore, I will(not)'. I too am trying to hold onto remembering why we're here in the first place, and what a nightmare that life can be, what a nightmare that life BECOMES.
HippyChick....WOOHOO for you, what an amazing achievement, one day I'd love to see that post under my name. Great advice about learning from it and moving on, I agree, you have to really sit and think carefully about what it is EXACTLY that it is you want from the drink, than things begin to slot into place.
Anyway, enough b******s from me! At least all this rambling keeps me outta trouble.
Lav, working on a 'plan', I'll let you know what that is...maybe in tomorrows essay!
Wishing another strong sober day to all, day 2 again for me and hopefully going to get some sleep tonight xxxxxx

[sunshinetoday]

Newbies Nest

Heading to work but wanted to say...
CONGRATULATIONS HIPPY CHICK for 100 DAYS AF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Way to go!

[witchywoman]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nestlings
Well, hope everyone is doing well.
I have to say :goodjob: HippyChick, I cant wait untill I hit that number.
LIS be proud, you didnt cave & you can look at it as a learning experience.
Again just a quick dip into the nest for me, I was hoping to feel better tonight, but I am so stuffed up, my head feels so heavy it feel like it is going to fall off lol, another early (sober) night for this chick
stay strong
XX

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

There's a big storm cloud hanging over my portion of the Nest today - not much I can do about that

Gosh, I hope you feel better soon Witchy!

Greetings to everyone this morning & sending you wishes for a great AF day.
I'm meeting a few friends for lunch today. None of us drink anymore so nothing to worry about

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hippy, Hippy, HooRay!!! Look at you! 100 days is huge, as you well know. This is about when the 'new' thinking kicks in. And it's a good thing, wouldn't you agree?
Leave, your posts scares me straight...thank you for telling us. I just know if I had those 2 glasses and it wasn't enough I'd have stopped on the way home for more until I was plastered. After all, that's the goal, isn't it? I also try to keep in mind...even before I found this place....literally kneeling down on my bathroom floor, praying to God to help me beat this demon. I'm not an overly religious person, my beliefs are rock solid but I don't go around advertising it, but I think my prayers were answered...pick yourself up and find some help....which I did. I didn't order any of the books/CD's or suppliments because I didn't want hubs to see that on my chargecard and ask about it. He thinks I have just easily stopped drinking. Little does he know of the private hell it has been...the constant thinkiing and the pity parties I've thrown for myself. Without this place I don't know where I'd be today. Thanks one and all! It never ends, I will never 'get over it' and will never be cured. I must always be vigilent. Byrdie

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie I know that feeling well, it's the same for me with my hubs, the last thing I wanted was for him to see charges on my card, normally he never looks but you could guarantee that he would that month, I bought supps from the health food shop and he saw the receipt and asked why I'd spent so much in there. Like you I'm not a religious person, I do believe in God to a certain extent and the night before I quit this time round I asked for help.

I've always known this time around drinking again was not going to be an option but somehow testing the water so to speak has just re confirmed what I know deep down. Luckily going out with the girls and not drinking isn't a problem they are not the type to pressurize me into drinking... and for that I'm grateful:l

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

And congrats to Hippy chick:l



Blue:l That first weekend will always be the worst but you can get through it if you believe in yourself.... keep yourself busy, avoid everything you usually do that triggers you usually drinking, I barely came online other than to come here and IM my best friend as being online always equated to wine time. Long IM conversation with friends were a good distraction, I'd take my laptop to bed get involved and loose track of time and before I knew it I was way past my witching hour and triggers.... just keep at it, waking up Monday without a hangover and knowing you've had an AF weekend is a great thing:l