Newbies Nest

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Tiredofit;1143271 wrote: OH, I also found that I bought the MWO book a couple years ago. I found it sitting on my book shelf.

IT"S A SIGN!!!
How kewl is that?!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

life..... developing a sense of gratitude did wonders for me too

Has anyone ever heard of The ToDo Institute: Mindfulness, Procrastination, and Gratitude using Morita and Naikan Therapies
I've been a member there for quite a few years but you can do some great reading free.

CONGRATS ON 6 AF MONTHS BYRDIE!!!!

I'm very happy for you :wd::yay:
Keep up the great work, it keeps getting better!

JimG & Greg - hope you are both doing well

Finishing up another hot & humid day here in my part of the Nest. It's been a pretty hot summer so far!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest.

Lav

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

What a day!

Evening fellow nesters!

What a day for me. The plan was to work 6 AM to 3 PM, hit the gym (for a change) and head home to make stir fry. BUT, work turned into an 11 hour and 45 minute non-stop zoo - didn't even get a lunch!
Last week, that would have been more than ample justification for 2 Four Locos. And then some beer or wine with dinner, and after dinner, and then staggering into bed...
Lucky for me, I gotta nest to come home to!
Had the stir fry and am going to just watch a little tube, read a little book and hope for a better nite's sleep (haven't really had one yet!).

Jim: Good to see you here - well done on ordering the pack and making a plan!

Clover - Keep it going now....one more day and you'll be caught up with me!

Take2 - You rock...almost to the BIG 30. Great thought about gratitude.

I recently read that feelings of gratitude bring us more of the things we're grateful for. So, today I am truly thankful to be sober.

Good nite my fine feathered friends!

[Clover]

Newbies Nest

Another night and I made it past the witching hour ... but just barely! After work I wanted some vino pretty badly. My daughter called from out of town and she is sick. Then I had to pick up my son at the doc's office; he might have a small stress fracture on his foot, we'll find out after x-rays tomorrow. But when I picked him up, he asked me if we could go have a bite to eat, and thank God, that is what we did. It really and truly is a great idea to eat when you feel like drinking, isn't it? So, the rest of the evening will be spent relaxing .... seems like that's all I do lately. I'm looking forward to Friday, but nervous about it, too. Good night everyone!

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Just wanted to say....

YOU ONLY FAIL WHEN YOU GIVE UP GIVING UP.

What I am saying is doesnt matter how many Day 1's you have as long as you keep trying.

Morning everyone.

Mylife - I love your comparasons (? spelling?) of alcohol and other medical issues. It's so true and harder to treat because when it comes down to it, WE are the ones that have to treat ourselves. Other people can help - doctors, psychologists, etc but we are the ones that have to put in the hard work. And for most alcoholics - when the going gets tough, we resort to numbing ourselves rather than treating ourselves. I am learning things now at 47 that I should have learnt at 14 when I needed to rather than use AL to "solve" my problems.

JimG - welcome back. You sound like you have a great plan in place which is so important for success. Friends are a hard one to sort out as I think when we stop it is kind of threatening for them. It highlights their issues with AL. One of my besties didnt want to go to the pub with me for a drink because I would only have soda inmy glass not AL. What the? I was OK being in that environment but simply because I didnt have alcohol in my glass she felt it wasnt worth it. The fact that we were laughing and having fun didnt matter! (I note you are from Melbourne - we are in the process of deciding whether to move over from Perth as my husband has a great work opportunity in Melbourne).

Clover - you are so right that problems are easier to solve sober. The problems are still there and are very confronting when sober but so much easier to deal with. When I was drinking I dont really know if I ever did solve anything, I just avoided it.

Hi Bydy - The peace you spoke of when you realised you hadnt thought of AL all day is just such a wonderful feeling isnt it. When I first started on my AF journey, all I could think about was AL and how I would never be able to drink again. But now, it is only a passing thought and sometimes doesnt even cross my mind.

My husband has been away for work alot over the last month and the nature of his job includes alot of socialising. He doesnt eat well when away and drinks alot of AL and NO water at all. So when he came home from New Zealand this week, he had an extremely severe case of gout. He ended up going to the ED at the hospital as it was so painful and he couldnt walk. His middle toe was twice the size of his big toe and his whole foot was swollen. I think it has been a bit of a wake up call for him on how what he puts in his mouth affects his whole body. Drinking too much, eating the wrong food and not drinking water to help flush his system has finally taken its toll on him and thankfully he realises that.

Anyway gotta stop talking and get ready for work. Not dressed or anything yet and got to be at work in 25 minutes. Yikes!

Take care and have a great sober day

Hippy

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Gregorino - I'm right there with you - I went to work thinking I had a pretty easy day ahead of me, and 11 hours later - with no lunch break - I managed to escape! I then stopped by the library, made something nice to eat and am now posting while I sip my grapefruit and sparkling water. So much better to deal with stress sober!

Hippy - I hope your husband does take that as a wake up call! That sounds very scary!

Byrd - Congratulations on 6 months!! I would love to see the day that AL is hardly a passing thought in my life. I hope it comes soon.
Life take 2 - Love that name! And great images too!

Clover - congratulations on another successful day! We can do this!

Lav, Place, JimG and the many others I'm sure I've missed I hope you're all having a fantastic AF evening in the Nest!

[JimG]

Newbies Nest

Hi Hippy Chick, Yep, from Melb. Very very cold here for the last week so bring a few jackets

I have been to Perth and loved it. Have friends there as well. Melbourne's a massive expanse and has all sorts of cultural identities.

I love it though but still love exploring Aust. Heading up to Brisbane on the bike later this year which will be interesting AF!! Imagine heading off in the morning with a clear head!!!

est of luck if you're able to make it over

[mimi911]

Newbies Nest

I can't believe it's been 10 days since I have been on MWO. I am so far behind on all of your posts.
i am at the end of day 39 af and will welcome day 40.....

I will try and get caught up on how everyone is doing and also get to know all the new people.

Goodnight for now

[red mist]

Newbies Nest

Hi all

Friday evening here and I managed to politely refuse the offer of Al after work, told myself I am working tomorrow so there should be no change in my resolve just because it is the weekend. I am trying to recognise and deal with those "triggers".

Just picking up on something JimG said "no dry retching when I brushed my teeth" in the morning. I can sure relate to that - it was one of the reasons that made me stop.

Reading the posts on here sure keeps me occupied and focused during the witching hours. Thank you to all.

mist

[PlaceSeeker]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Everyone, (had to come back to say get a sandwich, because this turned out to be a long one once I went back and wrote instructions)

OK, I really like this LT2 quote:

A mental image of me enjoying a strong cup of java and welcoming the morning with a clear head before some exercise is STRONGER and more attractive than the false image of me at a table enjoying a glass of wine. And I say "false" because I know I can't stop at 1!

I keep looking for things to remember and images to hold onto so I won't weaken when I'm in those situations that would make me want to drink. This is a great one I'll try to hold in my brain! Also LT2, I think the false image with the glass of wine is always romanticized for being better than it is in this sense: so many of those "good" times are very short-lived and the comaraderie we imagine can be pretty false too. How often do we say to ourselves the next day, "I don't know why I said/did that...I would not have said or done it if I had been sober...." For me, when I'm in that gregarious mode I make plans to do things with people and then regret it later! I'm trying to get past the nostalgic thinking that tells me I'm missing out on something without alcohol! I really believe it on one level but as LT2 says, we get these false signals from another part of our brains............THAT's what I'm trying to change and I'm going to try to use these images as reminders..........

Gregorino, to do a quote, you click and highlight the text, then go to the place you want to insert it, right click, and paste. Next, you highlight the text again and then click the box up top that looks like a quote box (on my screen it's the image on the farthest right (up by the Bold, Italic, Underline, Font, etc. menus). Hope that makes sense.

WOULD YOU BELIEVE I JUST WENT BACK TO RE-READ AND I SEE THAT GREG WAS ASKING ABOUT INSERTING A LINK......So, instead of erasing how to highlight, I'll just add how to do the link here (thinking some people will want to know both). Different computers might require other ways, but here is what I do to insert a link. I open another window and log into MWO again, then I go to the place I want to send someone else to (like the tool box). Once that's open, I copy the address from the browser, then go to the spot I want to insert it, right click, and put it there. The address will show up as the words "Tool Box" after you click submit.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...-17-27556.html

Jim, your description of x = drinking (insert fun activity.....) is the toughest for me........especially nice dinner out = nice bottle of wine or other drink..............good food with tea is my new mantra!

TOI, Clover (eating helps me not drink in a BIG way....I just have to eat the right stuff not junk), ML, Lav (thanks for the website I'll check it out), HC (wow, that's scary about your hubs' gout.......just think of what al might be doing that we can't see), Red, Mimi (hope I didn't miss anyone) and all to come along today, I hope you maintain your resolve - we can do this and it WILL be worth it, I really believe that...........

Byrdlady - you made me laugh out loud describing how you'll say things in the nest you would never say elsewhere.......isn't it great to be able to be open and honest about drinking?! I feel the same way!..............You're funny...........hope you'll keep entertaining us - laughter is great medicine as they say....

Have a great AF day everyone. Sorry this turned out to be so long...............yikes!

PS

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Evening all.

I'd like your opinion on something.

I am having a dinner party tomorrow night - my first sober and amongst the people I have invited, I have invited my friend who I have spoken about. She is the one who has a problem with me not having AL in my glass. She doesnt want to go out with me because I am drinking soft drinks and she has AL. I know she feels this way because she thinks she might have a problem with the amount she consumes (although she would NEVER admit it) and with me not drinking makes her feel guilty.
So tonight when I was shopping for menu items, I bought some sparkling grape drink which is in a nicely shaped wine bottle but with definitly no AL in it. My question is what do you think about me getting this wine substitute just to please my friend? Am I not being true to myself? Am I putting my friends feelings before mine? Does it really matter if she gets upset because I am not drinking? I just want to make it a nice evening.
I think I probably know the answers to these but would just like to hear others opinions.

Someone commented on something I said during the week (sorry cant remember who it was) about us moving over east and being able to have a new start, re-inventing myself as a nondrinker. Today at work, I was talking to a collegue who only started a couple of months ago and I havent really got to know her yet. She came into my office and commented on a smell - I have a cold and was using a sanitising hand wash so I dont contaminate everyone else. She said it smelt like I had been drinking alcohol and I said straight away "I dont drink". It felt so empowering to say that because she doesnt know otherwise, I have been sober since she started. It really gave me a boost to be able to say that to someone and not have them say something like "you always change your mind". She didnt ask me why and I didnt offer an explanation.

Thanks for posting how to insert links and quotes PS. I have been using this site for 18 months and didnt know that!

Hope everyone has a sober and stress free Friday night. See you tomorrow.
Hippy

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Friday morning Nesters!

JimG, enjoy your cool weather, it's been very hot & humid over here all week! Enjoy the clear head as well

Mimi, so glad to see you & congrat on your 40 AF days! Great job!!

red mist, good job on deflecting the after work drink offer ~ changing our habits & thinking helps us reach our goals

PS, keep picturing that clear future

Hippy, honestly, it's a shame your friend has such an issue with what's in your glass!
I just won't let anyone question me about why I'm not having wine. Many times I've said - 'I gave that up because of health issues', then change the subject!!! It's no one's damn business - is it??? Having your sparkling grape juice is a nice gesture I think & I hope your friend can appreciate that

Got to get my day going.
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday!
Lav

[Barbara1234]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning,

Hi HC, I have a comment about your friend and you purchasing the sparkling grape drink. I have friends that drink and they are still uncomfortable about my not drinking. I figure they will just have to get over it.
I agree that you are not being true to yourself and that it is a very nice gesture to purchase that bottle of wine substitute. I wonder if that will be enough for your friend or if you just wasted $$ on expensive grape juice?
I think the next time someone asks me why I'm not drinking, I will ask them "why are you drinking"? Just a thought, I'm really curious as to what reasons people will come up with if you turn the tables.
I'm also going to try this one "I don't need a reason", or "I don't like alcohol".
I'm getting more comfortable with the truth. 48 days AF!!! :h

[PlaceSeeker]

Newbies Nest

Hip - well, you know, opinions are like assholes (pardon my French), everyone has one of them. So, you'll have to take our opinions with a grain of salt.

My question is what do you think about me getting this wine substitute just to please my friend? Am I not being true to myself? Am I putting my friends feelings before mine? Does it really matter if she gets upset because I am not drinking?

How is the wine substitute going to please your friend? Are you going to let her think you're actually drinking alcohol? I think honesty is always the best as long as it doesn't hurt someone. To me, if she's your friend, she'll want what's best for you and learn to enjoy your company even if you're not drinking.

Having said that, though, I can remember feeling exactly like your friend. I had absolutely no interest in "partying" with someone who didn't drink. Now, I would love to have a really good non-drinking friend........ guess it's the "birds of a feather flock together" phenomenon.

Bottom line for me in your situation is that your friend should want what's right for you! Maybe you could actually discuss how you feel with her?

Anyway, good luck - hope it's a fun night. You'll have to let us know how it went!

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Thanks PlaceSeeker for suggesting the 'Nest' to me. In all the time I have come to this board this is my first visit here and I can't believe what I have been missing. One of my physical problems that I have developed lately is grinding my teeth at night. Causing me serious pain in some of my teeth. I did a search to see about it, here's part of it

What Can I Do to Stop Grinding My Teeth?

Your dentist can fit you with a mouth guard to protect your teeth from grinding during sleep.
If stress is causing you to grind your teeth, ask your doctor or dentist about options to reduce your stress. Attending stress counseling, starting an exercise program, seeing a physical therapist or obtaining a prescription for muscle relaxants are among some of the options that may be offered.

Other tips to help you stop teeth grinding include:
Avoid or cut back on foods and drinks that contain caffeine, such as colas, chocolate, and coffee.

Avoid alcohol. Grinding tends to intensify after alcohol consumption.

Teeth Grinding (Bruxism) Symptoms, Causes and Treatment in Children and Adults on MedicineNet.com
One more reason to quit the caffeine and alcohol.