Newbies Nest

[crazy cat lady]

Newbies Nest

Hi Clover,

I know what you mean about rationalizing heading into the wine zone as a reward. It gives you an escape from the hard realities, it allows you to ignore your problems, makes you blind to the harsh realities staring you in the face, the wine is your friend when you feel all alone.

What you have to keep in mind is that your problems won't go away until you do something about them. The wine is the friend who always leads you into trouble not the one who will help you get out. It's not a reward but a punishment.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

AL is that toxic relationship that we've all had. That guy/lady who we so love to be with, but it always ends up biting us in the ass. We always hate ourselves and pound our fists for being so stupid. When we break it off, it calls back to us (texting us, so to speak) come on....give me one more chance...we can make it together! I won't ever do that to you again...I promise!....and we give it another try....and what happens? It's a hard lover to turn away...but sometimes you just gotta do what's best for you and to hell with the toxic sweet words of AL. Byrdie

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest!

I was out of commission for a day as I switched to ATT Uverse and had to re-learn everything. Anyway, I think everything's hooked up and functional now!

Byrd - very good comparison! And so true. I think that's why so many of us insisted we could Mod at the beginning - that seductive relationship kept calling us back!

Lav - I agree that I'm noticing more and more people don't drink as much as they used to as I'm getting older - which definitely makes it easier to just say "no thanks" these days and get away with it.

Place - sorry for the delay in answering - yes I did work on Modding - several times! Like 99% of everyone else (big surprise) it just doesn't work for me!

Hope everyone has a fantastic AF Sunday in the Nest!


Hope you're all having a fantastic day in the Nest.

[Clover]

Newbies Nest

I think my idea of "modding" is to white-knuckle it through the week and then get blotto on Friday night. So, no .... it will definitely not work for me. Abstinence is clearly the only path and it is what I truly want. Modding doesn't actually appeal to me that much because I just can't imagine enjoying 1 or 2 glasses of wine. I know my goal and see it in reach. It's time to give it all I've got!

[Clockwatcher]

Newbies Nest

Back at day 1 again, been hitting it heavy for too long and it's all or nothing for me, trouble is my rationalization kicks ib right when my body stops hurting....I am fooling no one except myself

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hello Sarah Jane, Clover, crazy cat lady & Clockwatcher!
Glad to see you all having some success - one day at a time, right??? Those AF days build on one another & the feeling of freedom is fabulous.

Hello to you Byrdie & mylife as well
I know some folks have had success in modding after an AF period of time but I think they are 'the lucky few'. 99% of us just cannot drink safely & that's just my opinion
But, having said that I think it's perfectly OK to be a non-drinker too. It works for me

[JimG]

Newbies Nest

Brilliant analogy Byrdlady. Just like a toxic relationship, you cast it away for good til it woos you back and you feel a right fool afterward. I think I'll use that and compare to actual toxic relationships I've had in weak moments.

JG

[Clockwatcher]

Newbies Nest

1005 pm and made it without beers all day....first day in a while that I can say that, thanks for all the posts as they helped me avoid playing with the cooler today, physically not feeling so great but mentally happy I am not bombed right now....praying and reading and not drunk....not so bad at all

[JimG]

Newbies Nest

great work Clockwatcher. Tomorrow you'll be glad you had no al and you'll have sense of achievement. Well done.

[autumn]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Well done ClockWatcher, I hope you wake up today with a clearer head and a sense of wow, I did it

Woke up feeling really odd today, day 6, and looking forward to 1 week tomorrow. It feels really weird being right back to the beginning. It's brought back up a lot of issues again. But I geuss thats really good as I obviously hadn't dealt with them or I would not of fallen back into the vodka bottle!

Had freinds for Sunday lunch again, and they now just turn up with a bottle of pop instead of wine which is lovely. I can honestly say, I much, much prefer an AF Sunday, and a fresh head on a Monday morning. Still couldn't sleep, but it'll reset itself.

So Happy Monday greetings, now if we could please have some sunshine...............

[red mist]

Newbies Nest

Hi all

Coming to the end of day 8 AF, I do feel like I have achieved something good (so far!). Have had lots of tea, coffee, biscuits and also ginger beer to keep me going. Reading the posts on this forum has been a great help too.

Hope everyone else is doing good.

mr mist

[Hippy Chick]

Newbies Nest

Evening all.

Welcome Kenvinlee. Always room for new nesters. Tell us abit about yourself.

Hey Redmist - well done on 8 days. Dont you feel proud of yourself.

Had a good session with my therapist today. He suggested that alcoholism was a behaviour and that rather than label myself an alcoholic I should admit that I have a behavioural problem with alcohol. This is because behaviours can be controlled and changed. I can see what he is saying but have to think abit more about it first. I actually like a label because then it is saying that something other than me is the problem.

The conclusion to my dinner party story..... I opened my bottle of "sparkling grape juice" or should I say flavoured sugar, and popped the cork and poured it into a nice glass.... then told everyone it wasnt alcohol and I wasnt drinking and didnt plan to either. It turned out a good night because my husband only had one glass of red and two of my other friends werent drinking too much either. Makes it so much easier when others arnt guzzling it down - like I used to!!

So, got lots of things to think about and its so great to be able to do it with a drug free mind.

Take care my friends
HC

[New shoes]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, new here. Reading your posts definitely give hope! Just trying for day 1 today. Have had a few attempts before that have lasted a week or so. But this time I just can't seem to even get past day one.

My story? Well I've been at it for about 3 years. Bottle of wine each night. Starts around 7 when putting the kids to bed. Then just keep at it until I fall asleep. Husband drinks each night, but he can have 1 drink and be done. I used to be able to have just one too. Not sure why it changed for me. At first I wanted to just cut back. But now I just want to be free of it. How do I kill the urge tonight at 7?? It seems so easy during the day, why are the nights so hard!

New shoes

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Congrats to everyone finding success this weekend

Hello & welcome to Kenvinlee & New shoes!
Make yourselves comfy in the nest for a while, this is a safe place.
Be sure you read the MWO book, it's a good place to get started. Also take a look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for great ideas to help you make your plan. Changing habits & attitudes is a big part of the process. Learning to surf the urges by redirecting your thinking, planning activities that do not involve AL works!

Hippy, glad your dinner party went well ~ knew you could do it!!!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Monday!

Lav

[kukani39]

Newbies Nest

This is my first visit here. I read the MWO book this morning and starting spring cleaning my life. I am tired of every day being one of regret and live with the fear that I am going to die early if I don't beat this and leave my little boy without his mummy. This is my first day going af. I am striving for moderation and having control rather than feeling that I am controlled. Today and tomorrow I am not drinking is my goal for this week x