Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Counting days is all we have to measure....you can't manage what you can't measure. Great job on keeping yourself out of trouble. Don't tempt yourself right now. Be good to you. Keep strong, my friend...we are right here with you. Byrdie

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Good Job ClockWatcher!
I pretty much have to drive past the store where I would always stop and grab a tall one to drink in a back lot before I drove home. Or actually, to the grocery store where I would buy a six to have while making dinner.
I had "the thought" tonight, but just kept driving. I am still feeling really sluggish every afternoon as I adjust to not pouring 3/4 gallon of poison down the gullet on a daily basis. But, I just started over after a 10 day slip and don't want to have to go through this again.
Ms. Byrd says Day 13 is magical (I think thats the word), so I wanna see how that is. Did you start feeling better after 10 days?
Fading fast at 10 PM...looking forward to getting into the CD's tomorrow.
G'night Good Nest!

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Clockwatcher;1153688 wrote: Hello all, hope everyone is having a sober night, today was ok, had tremendous desire to drink a longneck beer at a local bar that has outside deck, bar is beside roadway at a light and I was thinking stupid thoughts while waiting for light to change; thoughts were so strong that one night wouldn't kill me that I drove home a different route out of fear of what I would do....day 17 and I take a probably disproportionate enjoyment/satisfaction in tracking my days without booze right now, it is comforting and makes me drive away from trouble let alone recognize trouble...thank God for numbers....

Way to go Clock! Do whatever you have to do to avoid the booze. :goodjob:

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

gregorino;1153699 wrote: Good Job ClockWatcher!
I pretty much have to drive past the store where I would always stop and grab a tall one to drink in a back lot before I drove home. Or actually, to the grocery store where I would buy a six to have while making dinner.
I had "the thought" tonight, but just kept driving. I am still feeling really sluggish every afternoon as I adjust to not pouring 3/4 gallon of poison down the gullet on a daily basis. But, I just started over after a 10 day slip and don't want to have to go through this again.
Ms. Byrd says Day 13 is magical (I think thats the word), so I wanna see how that is. Did you start feeling better after 10 days?
Fading fast at 10 PM...looking forward to getting into the CD's tomorrow.
G'night Good Nest!

Greg--I get the thought too sometimes driving home after work. So far I just keep on driving. Good night to you.

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Lavande and Byrdie--You two are so sweet for checking in on us newbies! I love hearing from you and hearing your advice. Just nice to know someone is looking out for us.

[Clockwatcher]

Newbies Nest

I agree with FlyAway, thank you....Greg I also started feeling better after 10 days or so with a lot of it being relief from physical symptoms,, it does get better everyday and the ability to handle being sober seems to get better as well....my big however is the voice in the back of my head which tells me since I have been able to handle it these many days I can now handle it so why not have one......that voice is evil and should not be listened to, thats part of my daily fight these days...

[life...take2]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Very early here in the usa - having my steaming hot coffee, listening to music that lifts my soul and helps me set the right tone for the day. Getting ready to go exercise even though the heat index in off the charts....

So sorry that I can't remember everyone by name when I post but I do read all your inspiring posts.

Clover, it seems like you joined just yesterday and now you are well on your way - CONGRATS with the 2 week milestone!

Clock and Gregorino...you are so right about the voice that just stays there amd waits to attack us when we let our guard down. I am on day 46 and yesterday was tough. Thoughts went through my head like, "See, you can manage your drinking so go ahead and treat yourself!" And then I have to take some time and remember how poison slowly entered my life and tried to destroy everything: health, career, family, friends.

The other powerful lie is this idea that I deserve a drink after a hard day of work or having dealt with stress. It is such a powerful lie because it is so crazy: "I deserve to abuse myself, punish my body/mind, because of stress...I deserve to deal with stress by injecting poison into my system." And so I come here for inspiration, I re-read posts and my reflections on what I REALLY want/desire for the long term - not the short fixx, and keep moving forward...I'm learning to be so humble in front of the power of this disease. What do they say in AA? You are as sick as you are secretive...

For me, short term pain is worth it if it translates into long term health and happiness/peace of mind.

ok, time to dive into a new day!
be well nesters....see you tonight!

[Clover]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Everyone! I'm scurrying to get ready for work this morning, but wanted to say "hey" at least. It's Day 19 for me, and I still get to feeling sluggish in the afternoon, too. Still de-toxing, stress, heat? It could be a combination of all. Now I am taking a supplement that contains GABA which is supposed to calm you down, so maybe that's it. At any rate, in comparision to how I felt when I drank, this is bliss! It is wonderful to see so many of us hanging in there and also to have people with some sobriety under their belts here to support and advise us. I thank God that MWO is here for us! See you all later!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Happy to read so many positive posts this morning

Just keep turning down the volume on the 'mind chatter' & you'll all be OK, I promise

Wishing everyone a happy hump day!

Lav

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Clock--Yep, that voice usually checks in with me as the night progresses. So annoying! It's not telling us the truth, it's saying whatever it needs to say to get us to drink. Whatever the event, however our day was, the voice's answer is for us to drink. Drink because you had a stressful day, that'll make it better! Drink because there was a death in the family, that'll make it better. Drink to celebrate a great day, that'll make it better! No, no, no. That'll make everything worse.

Life--What I wrote above really applies to what you said! That damn voice is lying in wait for us to let our defenses down. Forty-six days in? Hell, I've got this under control, I should have a drink to celebrate! Ugh! I wonder if it ever leaves?

Clover and Lavande--Hope you two have a fabulous day!

I'm doing great. Just sipping some coffee before getting ready for work. I've got 2 events to attend this weekend where of course the booze will be flowing. On Saturday I expect to be questioned about why I'm not drinking. But I'll be fine.

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Day Off

Fly is right - Lav and Byrdie are Sweetie Pies!! Thanks so much for taking the time to be here every day - You don't know how much your words mean...Here's a big virtual HUG

Take2 - Great ideas...Thanks!

Clover - Good points...The aches and pains of detox are simply flesh wounds...The physical and psychological effects of boozing REALLY hurt!

No work today, got up and at 'em early, hit the gym, hit the grocery, got my pasta sauce on the simmer. Listened to 1st 2 Hypnotherapy CD's...after my arms got heavy, I think I just slept for most of the two hours! I'm sure I needed it...gotta a mighty swelled up liver to clean up!
Heading out for a haircut and a trip to Best Buy for an iPod boombox so I can play my sleep CD continuously.
Check back in this evening.

[Enough!]

Newbies Nest

18 days and counting!

Hello all!
Just wandering around and thought I would see how you all were doing. Looks like lots are adding lots of days... Awesome job. I posted on conquering 1 earlier what a rough night I had beating that voice down and the strange vivid dream that followed that left me thinking I cheated last night because I still tasted the wine from by imaginary subconscious party. Weird stuff! Keep your thoughts wtb me ( as mine are with you ) for sober days to follow. I have a huge challanve coming on a upcoming 2 week cottage vacation beginning tomorrow. Where the beers are out at noon, sangria ready for lunch and cases of good wine flowing from then on. Not the "free wine sucks" stuff

Talk soon,
Enough!
:teeter::teeter:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

FlyAway, sometimes, just sometimes when people question me about not drinking I just want to say - 'none of your damn business' but so far I haven't :H
I just say 'no thanks' then change the subject or walk away. It's doable

Gregorino, don't underestimate to power of those CDs. The information sinks in even if you do fall asleep (which I ususally did) Enjoy your day off!!!!

Hi Enough, glad you dropped in the Nest!
The drinking dreams happen to all of us at some point I think. They are truly weird but help reinforce your commitment. What is your plan to stay AF for vacation? I hope you have lots of activities planned, books to read, knitting or whatever to take along. Be sure to load up on your fav non-AL drinks ~ be prepared & have a great time

Enjoying a 2 day break in the heatwave - it's coming back tomorrow

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Such a positive place to come. A welcome respite from the daily negativity so many people walk around with. ~~ Today I went for a luncheon with several old friends and previous co-workers. I realize how little I go out to dine for lunch or dinner. Think it was mostly a covert distraction to drink. In any case I did not drink and paid attention to those who still do. I do not judge but am glad I'm AF. I can see where I am between two worlds right now. Clearly AF is where I want to be. I am on day 25 today and looking forward to life w/o the stone around my neck. Strength to all in our quest for a better life.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Clock, well you've hit the nail on the head...those voices after a period of 'doing it' and the following 'why not?' There is the rub!! All I can say is, I gave in to those dam voices for over a year. I got 12 days sober 3 times. When I fell off, I fell back harder and worse than before!!!! It was awful! What a terrible cycle. I cannot moderate without drinking the whole dam thing! And you know what? It is much more peaceful in my head these days. Life is simpler. It just is...I don't have to worry about protecting my supply and sneaking it without anyone noticing...or topping off..those dam compulsions! I just got sick and tired of trying to bargain with myself.... because on this subject I suck! I just can't imagine going back to day one again after all the crap I put myself thru, it's just not worth it...the price is too high. When you have a couple of drinking dreams where you think you've blown it and you wake up and realize it was a dream...you'll see what I mean! You all are doing great!!! You hang in there no matter what it takes!!! Byrdie