Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

LifeX2! What a beautifully written post. We have the opportunity to cure ourselves and it's really with minimal side effects....if you compare it, as you did, to other life threatening diseases.
New nesters will find their voice (no, not THAT voice). Byrdie

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Life..take2--Brilliant post!

Remorse--I miss the buzz too and it's hard to think about never drinking again, but would we be having this conversation if we were talking about using crack or meth? The only difference I can see is that one is legal and the other isn't. But they're both a drug and they both make people addicted. Would it be sane to expect to moderate crack or meth? That's crazy! If you're still longing for it then I doubt that you have the addiction under any kind of control and I think that by having one or two you'd quickly be back to where you started. It stinks! And I'm right there with you. :l

Sunsign--I think you're very smart to not think about moderation at this time. Lavande mentioned a website The ToDo Institute: Mindfulness, Procrastination, and Gratitude using Morita and Naikan Therapies that I think is absolutely fantastic when it comes to gratitude. I bought a book on Naikan there that I think will make a huge difference in my life and my attitude. In Naikan you do a self-reflection each day where you ask yourself what you received that day from your spouse, children, pets, the Universe, whatever, what you gave, and what trouble you caused. When I thought about all that I received from my husband each day I was really struck by how kind he is and how much I take for granted. When I thought about what I did for him that day I realized that he gave me much more than I gave him. It's humbling and makes you change your focus from what's wrong in your life and how you're being wronged or deprived to being grateful for all that you have and take for granted. Like air conditioning, my car, my job, clothing, a house, food, my cats, my health, etc.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

life...take2, good post, thank you!
AL abusers can become very self-centered, selfish. Comparing ourselves to others suffering so much more is the way to go

RBG - CONGRATS on your 30 AF days :yay:
Be proud of your accomplishment & start to look outside of yourself now. You have the AL demon off your back, you are free to do whatever you want to do. It's a big deal! What would you like to do now? New job, new hobby, relationship??? The worl dis your oyster - go for it

FlyAway - so glad you like my recommended website
The ToDo Institute has something for everyone! Did I mention before that I found that website when looking for 'help' for my great nephew? He came here to stay with me for a year when he was 14. Both of his parents were deployed at the time. The kid had ADHD & had been on huge doses of Ritalin since he was 3 or 4. I thought that was absolutely ridiculous, especially when he fell asleep in the waiting room when I took him to register for high school here. I gave him the option of going off the Ritalin IF he promised he would do some readings with me from the ToDo Institute. It worked out great!!!

Sunsign, I thought I wanted to moderate too after my first 30 AF days. But, it turns out I changed my mind about that before I hit the 30 days. I asked myself honestly if I was ready to have just one glass of wine.....the answer was a resounding no!!!! So I bit the bullet & decided to stay on the AF wagon & I have never regretted that decision. See how you feel in a few weeks, ask yourself the same question.

I wish everyone a safe night in the Nest!

Lav

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Lavande I can't begin to tell you how much I love the Todo Institute! I've bought 4 books from them and I just signed up for a membership. Their Distance Learning classes look fascinating and I want to sign up for at least the next 3! The next one starts in November and is a month of self-reflection. I'm really excited! I can't believe how much the idea of Naikan has changed my way of thinking. I am eternally grateful to you for recommending that site.

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Take2 - Awesome post...Thank You for spelling it out. I think we do need to continually remind ourselves that this is a disease and this is a life or death battle, not just some minor complication we're trying to decide what to do about.

RBG - Snap out of it buddy! You can't get wishy washy now, not after 30 days! What about a little surfin when you start lamenting the lost of your so-called friend?
...Close your eyes and remember all those n-a-s-t-y things dear old AL did to you. Think of the mornings you awoke to the realization that you can't recall a good chunk of yesterday...
Are ya doing the CD"s?? (OK, I know, I'm becoming a CD junkie..) Getting plenty of exercise? Gulping down the L-Glut?
You did 30, so how about 30 more!!

Sunsign - Isn't that Byrdie post the best? I wanna start a Byrdie's Bible thread and that will be a sticky!

Fly - It wasn't easy, especially when I hit the wall at 1 PM with 2 more hours of work to go. But, since I didn't have to go to the gym after work, I came home to a quiet house and listened to the Hypnotic CD with headphones. That got me energized to make dinner and then do some de-cluttering.

Good Night fellow Nesters....See ya tomorrow

[4me]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, wow there is alot of interesting comments going on in the nest. I finished the book last night. I was a little worried when I got to the end and they explain the phases of alcoholism. I found out I was in the early stage. I thought, is that like the early stage of cancer, if you don't treat it in time it will progress and kill you. I am also still torn between abstinance and moderation. I am not making a decision either way at this point. I need to still order the cd's and get the supplements. I walked again for an hour this morning, I actually feel pretty good. Two days AF so far. I think about it after work and then I just have some water and change my thought process and thats it.
:new:

[Clover]

Newbies Nest

Good evening, everyone! I've had a long and tiring day, but I wanted to read up on some of the posts from the last couple of days.

This was Day 24 for me and I am very, very grateful to everyone here! I look forward to reading and posting every night. But, it's been a rough couple of days and I'm pretty down tonight. I understand that part of quitting involves mood swings, strange sleep patterns, etc. But here I am at over 3 weeks, and I still feel kind of sluggish and slightly sick at times. I seem to have some slight muscle aches, too, which I suppose could be attributed to my very modest attempts at working out. Or some of this could just be stress. I just don't feel all that well. Did anyone else who has been sober for a while experience this?
All things considered, I am very, very happy to be sober! I wish you all a good night!

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Day 2 almost done - long long day at work, and a trigger is a long day where I stop on the way home to buy a bottle, and an extra one as I don't want to run out - but today at every turn where I could have stopped, I drove on by! I made a promise last night to a MWO friend that I would not stop and she got me home, and I feel soooooo happy!
Did not sleep well last night, but it will come.
waiting for my CD and supplements - hopefully they will come for the weekend!!!
looking so forward to beating last times record of 22 days - will be 31 this time with all of you supporting me.
interesting reading re moderating - I know in my heart I can't moderate - but, you I think about it daily, hourly even - I love wine, and not just the buzz, and to never have a glass of wine again is very sad - but soem really great analogies in this post.
Take care all - you are special people, and are the reason I keep trying...

[noxy]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone... I have been reading this thread since I found MWO ... been posting on conquering day 1 . I have to say that there are some very interesting and profound posts here ! I am a good reader but not that great a writer ! I have soaked up a lot since just 'flying ' past the nest! How ironic that I have birds building a nest right outside the window !! Think I need to perch here for a while as I have reached day 22 and last night I had my first serious battle with THE VOICE ... I won this round but only because I checked in here to MWO and read and read and read till it went away ... I now know the true value of this site and I am in for the duration ! :thanks: everyone

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I've done the unthinkable.....NO..not THAT! I have actually written down the names of folks I wanted to mention instead of trying to remember them!! Me!! Yee haa! It'sa new day!!!
Scottish...welcome back girl. Who doesn't love the taste of a good wine? Hell, I loved the taste of a BAD wine! I get a little chuckle when I hear how much money everyone is saving..I drank the cheap stuff. Bag in the Box. While I may be an AL'ic, I do understand value. Try not to dwell on these things. Yes, I miss the taste of wine...but I CAN have pretzel M&M's! Get your mind out of the rabbit hole. You can do it. I've seen your work.
Remorse...would you trade your 30 days for what's behind door #1? If you are thinking and wanting AL after this long...I betcha you have your answer. Behind door #1 is trying to have that glass...maybe 2. That turns into 3 and the bottle..and then ANOTHER dang bottle! (in my case, a 1/2 box) I'll make a deal with you!! Give the nest 30 more days of your time, and see how you feel then. I bet you'll guard those 60 days with your life.
SunS/Fly/Lav....I wish I read books. I CAN read...and I SHOULD read. You all are so insightful. Perhaps you were placed in the nest to give us uncultured hacks a fighting chance at insight! I do love reading your posts...and am hoping that some self reflection rubs off on my feathers.
Clover, the unsung hero of the nest....24 big days!!! Do you know I would have given anything to have 24 days a year ago??? You are going to have days when you feel like hell...but I bet today you feel pretty good?!! The first 3 weeks I had to get out of bed in PHASES! You just keep on keeping on...NO AL is going to make you feel better...you are in the race now and the goal is in sight...just keep your eyes on the prize.
Noxy...welcome. I was about 12 days AF and in the nest when I figured out HOW to reply to a message, you are doing so well!
Gregr. Thanks, once again for the kinds words. I don't have the tact that so many do...I just want to get it done and help others to get this monkey off their back too. When I first came in...and spoke of moderating.. someone at that time (no one here now) said, 'do what you think is right' almost patting me lightly on the head....A whole liver later, I am finally doing what I should have done/known then. AL gets the better of me and I know it. I knew it then, I know it now. I just thought I was one of the lucky ones who could manage it. I managed it alright....right up to where I passed out every night from it. I want everyone to know...at 6 months...it does not consume my thoughts or my actions anymore. I am fine with others around me drinking...and I am at peace with it. I am not bitter, but vigilent. I know that this is something that I will have to...not fight...but not yield to again...and that's perfectly ok. It's natural now to be the one not drinking...Byrdie

Hey, I just discovered there's a spell check on here!!!
Title of my third book "The Clampet's get Online"

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Wonderful Wednesday

Good Day Nestillians - It IS a great day to be sober!

4Me - Nice job on getting a couple days under your belt..keep 'er goin!

Clover - I am still having the fuzzy headaches in the afternoon...more annoying than debilitating and my left kidney STILL aches from when I missed the chair and banged it up on my last drunk over 2 weeks ago. I predicted then that it would be a reminder to me for awhile and it has been. I didn't load up my system with poison for a few weeks or months, I did it for years and years, so I think the detox is just going to take a bit. I do think the regular exercise and tons of water is key....we can't flush toxins without plenty of water on board!

Lass - Nice work on first few days and not making the turn towards AL..we are all here for each other, so keep showing up please!

Noxy - Welcome to The Nest - excellent work on the 3+ weeks, and a very good plan on coming to MWO when The Voice started talking. Hope to hear from you lots!

Wed. is an off day from work for me, and I hit the gym for 40 minutes of cardio early. Washed and shined my car, went to the produce stand and the grocery store and am now going to enjoy the solace with the Clearing CD.

Hope all nesters are staying strong! Check back later!

[life...take2]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

THANK YOU for all the positive feedback re my earlier post. And thank you ByrdLady for inspiring me to say it like I see it. You guys and girls are the best.

Got up sooo late -- to much iced tea with dinner last night!

For those who are interested: Flip through a book called, Under the Influence. The authors outline the stages of alcoholism. The last stage is truly heartbreaking - the havoc the disease unleashes on the body is incredible.

Also, they have a good section on cravings - physiological explanation and psychological manifestations. It is an eye-opener: the more we give in to a craving, the more dependent our cells become on alcohol and the more powerful they become over us. That's why some people say that recovery gets harder after repeated attemtps. We all know what hard-core drug users will do to in order to get a fix: they steal, rob, even murder to buy and use. Addicted cells "act" on us in the same way - the psychological manifestations of cravings are mind-games and rationalizations - "let me try to moderate"/"one drink a night won't hurt"/"life can't be fun without booze" - all of that happens so addicted cells get the booze they need to grow, spread and destroy the human organism. I bring this up becasue I think that the moderation question is a ruse in early recovery. It is a way very sick cells are craving to get booze back into the system. And when that happens, moderation never occurs. I thought I saw selections of this book online - will try to cut/paste for here if I find them again.

Nesters, have a great day. I'll pop in later and try to read the newer posts. You all continue to inspire me - thanks!

[Sunsign]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, Fellow Nesters

2 Days AF for me! I'm trying not to pat myself too hard on the back for this one because already twice this year I made it three weeks. Then actually moderated after that for another few weeks, but then it was back to downing half a box (yes, Byrdie, I was a box wine gal, too. I used to joke that I was a quantity over quality girl, as if that's something to be proud of!)

I was grumpy again when I woke up this morning, but I think that's coming from not enough sleep. Wine was my go-to-sleep drug (otherwise known as "pass out" drug of choice), so I'm pretty much staying up until my two Benadryls kick in and I am so exhausted from endless activity that I collapse in the bed. I'm really like an infant who fights going to sleep and fights getting up. Goal for tonight: Put myself to bed at a normal hour.

Life...Take2: Your post really resonated with me. Thank you so much. Trying to conjure the image of alcohol as a poison has helped me in the past, but the images you've created in my mind thinking about the disease as a tumor and the fact I don't want to feed it, is infinitely more powerful. It feels more like treating the disease itself and not the sympton. Again, thank you.

RBG: I, too, am struggling with not feeling the wine buzz again. I like the buzz, my problem is that I like it so much that I think, "If I feel this good after only two glasses of wine, think how great I'll feel after two more!" Then I don't know if I felt good because I don't remember it and the not knowing what I did or said or if I embarrassed myself is an AWFUL feeling! You chose the name RemorseBeGone for a reason--just sayin'!

Lavande: I visited the ToDo Institute site and found some really great stuff there! I've been practicing a kindness/gratitude meditation for a while, but I love the added layers that you mentioned. I'm going to begin incorporating those into my routine--it was getting a little stale . Thank you!

Gregorino: Love, love, love reading your posts! They are so positive. I've spent a lot of energy beating myself up over my drinking and it's refreshing that you embrace each day of your AL free life! Inspiring--thank you!

4Me: I, too, read the book and was in the "early stages" and I love your comparison to early detection. I think we have good chances for success given that we're tackling this problem before it progresses. Again, this is a good metaphor for me to ground my thinking--thanks!

Clover: Yay! Over three weeks sober! In my attempts at sobriety before, I never made it past Day 21. You inspire me!

Noxy: A nest--what a wonderful sign! It's kind of funny--I used to HATE birds because when I woke up with a pounding head the last thing I wanted to hear was those darn birds, but now that I'm getting up and exercising, I'm beginning to enjoy their songs as good background for my walk/swim

And, Byrdie: You have such a strong sense of voice in your posts--I hear them as I read as if you were sitting across from me and we are sharing a chat over morning coffee. Thank you for that! It makes me feel more connected! You mentioned a few things--baking cakes for neighbors--that make you feel good and fill some of your drinking time. Those hints are very helpful. I seem to be doing fine during the daily grind, but I'm nervous about social situations. Some discussions suggest taking a hiatus from drinking friends, but that doesn't seem like the right fit for me. My friends have been an enormous source of strength for me and they seem to manage their drinking just fine (it was always me who was out of control)! I also can't imagine doing certain things without drinking--dancing, for example. In Roberta's book she mentioned cranking the music and dancing alone as good therapy (maybe I'd get more comfortable dancing in public after several solitary living-room dance parties?). Thoughts? Suggestions?

Hope everyone has a great day!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters!

Yes, I have had one busy day alreday but that is good for business, right?
The approaching thunderstorm is causing me a headache, always does. Has something to do with atmospheric pressure changes & the surgery I had on my head nearly 11 years ago

Clover, SL, life...take2 & Greg - all doing awesome

Byrdie - I'm going to start giving reading assignments & a quiz every Friday :H
There is no time to read all the stuff I would like to read so I love to hear a synopsis from whoever is doing the reading

noxy, glad you dropped in the Nest!
Make yourself comfy & let us know how you are doing. CONGRATS on your 22 AF days - terrific!

Sunsign, be as grumpy as you have to be today ~ it's perfectly OK!
You are doing a wonderful thing for yourself right now & remember quitting is not an event but a process! It takes some of longer to feel better than others. I honestly felt pretty crappy for about 3 weeks but then it all changed. I am so grateful that I hung in there & waited it out. Just be sure to take good care of yourself right now - a little self-TLC!

OK, time to get back to work for a bit then run to the supermarket. My 2 1/2 year old grandson is coming for dinner & he just loves meatballs!!!!
Wishing everyone a great AF afternoon!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

SunSign....I couldn't dance then and I can't dance now...I got no rhythm. The difference is now I have the good judgement NOT to get out there!! (OH GOD what I did).
Thank you for the conversational compliment...nobody else on Earth knows about me what this nest knows. Let's hope that what happens in the Nest...STAYS in the nest! Byrdie