Newbies Nest

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Spectacular Saturday

Hello Nestafarians!

Barbara - Glad to hear the weight will start to drop....that's been a little frustrating, but I do keep hitting the gym nearly every day...I need the endorphins! Glad to see you hear with 2+ months to the good..It's inspiring!

Clover - You Rock! 4 weeks!

Hi Noxy - Good to see you again; you're off to a great start!

Ms Lav - It's a dog's world right?!

Hey Gizzy - Keep coming to The Nest - you can do this!

WineSucks - Hey, I'm on Day 19 too! We're like practically related! Like, we went to different schools together. Like homies or something! Keep it going!

BottleStopper - Excellent work on 5 days....Good plan for this evening. There is one part on the CD where you can insert your own suggestion, and you can visualize an image for helping you get to the hypnotic state, or just use the escalator or island. Don't worry if you fall asleep (I usually do!), your subconscious hears everything while your conscious mind dozes off, that's why the sleep CD works!

SunSign - Yeah, it's just so worth it to get up Saturdays without a pounding head... Glad to hear your man is on board with your plan - that's a good thing!

OK, gotta get back to work; email is piling up! Sorry if I forgot anyone...Take2 - You rock too! Will check back later!

[4me]

Newbies Nest

Hi all! Happy Saturday!

So many posts and everyone is doing so well!

Greg, Nestafarians, love that.

I didn't make it through day five. I had three glasses of wine last night. I will be going on a business trip with my husband on the 15th, a semi vaction 4 me, no days off work until I go, have had no time for planning or supplements. I am seriously thinking of modding at this point, which was my original thought. Well, have to get ready for work, day 6, yuk!

Have a great day nesters!

[Barbara1234]

Newbies Nest

gregorino;1159231 wrote: Hello Nessa!
Here's a thought to mull over after you re-read your post... Is it YOU, the REAL you, that loves wine, or is it the AL in you that tells you this so you'll have some more? The addiction is very, very sneaky...after awhile we are not sure WHO is really talking. Just last night I was getting the "idea" that some beer would be good...However, the real me knows that this is not MY idea at all....it's The Voice who has been without it's fix for 18 days trying to trick me into enabling it.

Here's an oldie but goodie for you guys from LostInThailand, he really gets the credit, I'm just the messenger......... This was very powerful for me......Barbara :l


Observe your thoughts and feelings, positive and negative, about drinking or using. Thoughts and feelings which support continued use are called the Addictive Voice (AV); those which support abstinence are you. When you recognize and understand your AV, it becomes not-you, but "it," an easily-defeated enemy that has been causing you to drink. All it wants is pleasure. "I want a drink," becomes, "It wants a drink." Think to yourself, "I will never drink again," and listen for its reaction. Your negative thoughts and feelings are your AV talking back to you. Now, think, "I will drink/use whenever I please." Your pleasant feelings are also the AV, which is in control. Recovery is not a process; it is an event. The magic word is "Never," as in, "I will never drink/use again." Recognition defeats short-term desire, and abstinence soon becomes effortless. Complete separation of "you" from "it" leads to complete recovery and hope for a better life. The only time you can drink is now, and the only time you can quit for good is right now. "I will never drink/use again," becomes, "I never drink now." It's not hard; anyone can do it...........exert from....

https://rational.org/

[PR_Kev]

Newbies Nest

Your right Barbara that is very powerful...I'll try & put into practice...I'm always talking to myself anyway...might as well have something positive to say.

Kev

19 days AF

[4me]

Newbies Nest

Good post Barbara, soooo true.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Barbara,
I've read that quote before & do not agree with one sentence - 'Recovery is not a process; it is an event'. That simply is not true, at least not in my experience or that of many of the long term abstainers. Recovery is/will be a lifelong process. New thinking patterns need to be formed & adhered too, new habits, letting go of the old & embracing the new......

4me, you didn't mention why you decided to drink last night. Was it planned, something you had thought about? If you read the MWO book (and I believe you said you did) it is recommended that you go for at least a 30 day AF period of time before you attempt to moderate so you can go into it thinking clearly & with some modicum of control.

Greg - it certainly is a dog's world - at least it is here tonight

Hello & welcome PR_Kev! Congrats to you on your 19 AF days - terrific work, keep going

[Clover]

Newbies Nest

Good Evening, Nesters. I will be heading out to the movies with my daughter soon, but wanted to drop in and say "hey." It's Day 29 for me and I'm so happy about that! It was an off day for me, though, and I was feeling pretty down.

There has been an ongoing situation with my son, who is 20; I've bored people here about it before. This week things went from bad to worse. He's been involved, off and on, with a real psycho girl for some time now. In the past, they spent most of their time smoking dope and drinking. She is controlling and possessive (crazily so) and has sent really vile and disgusting e-mails to several of his female friends ... and me! She moved away for a few months, but came back. My son has been under a doctor's care for an infection and reactive arthritis, which is pretty painful. The doc gave him a prescription for Tramadol, which my dumbass of a son took to her place last Tuesday. When he showed up at his dad's the next day, 18 out of 24 pills were gone! Of course, he lied and said someone stole them. I blew my top and told him I was done and that I could no longer watch him go willingly down the drain with a whackjob. I have not spoken to him since for the sake of my sanity AND sobriety! Well this Tuesday is his 21st birthday. And I am very tempted to completely ignore it. He has allowed this situation to just get worse and worse and has hurt me, his father and his sister deeply.

What is depressing me is that I know Tuesday will be a very rough day, whether I ignore him or not. I love my son, but I no longer even know him. Things with the girl were way beyond what I can elaborate on here, but I nearly called the police on a few occasions. Maybe I should have. What I really want to do is beat the s**t out of her! Maybe I still will! I'm kidding, of course. It would make me very sad to miss his birthday, but I can't take any more of the craziness and drama, especially now when I'm trying so very hard to stay sober.

Well, sorry to rant and ramble on .... but it does feel good to unload.

I hope everyone is having a great, sober Saturday night!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Clover,
Thae hardest part in raising kids (for me) was to learn to assign problems, attach a name to them. The only way our kids grow is when we stand back & let them handle their own crap. They created the problem, they need to correct it ~ especially at the age of 21. I know it's hard to do but as responsible, sane parents we just have to step back. Just be sure you let him know he is responsible for the $$ for refills of Rx drugs. I'm sure I would want to beat the s**t out of that girl too
Please keep yourself sane :l

[4me]

Newbies Nest

Lav, no it wasn't planned. I had an argument with myself at the store and I lost. How do you lose and argument with yourself? I had a break in between clients today I was able to go and get the supplements and order the cd's, a couple hundred bucks later (ouch), I am moving forward. I still need a plan and I think I need some time without a million things coming at me at once to come up with it.

Clover, I feel for you so much with your son. I have four children and my youngest are twin boys, they are 26, and they were more than difficult. It has taken me forever to self protect, even just a little. You don't have to ignore your son on his birthday. You can call him or send him a card and wish him a happy birthday and let him know you love him unconditionally, but you will not be the enabler in his downward spiral by pretending things are OK. If it is any comfort, my boys are finally growing up and things are better. Twenty is still pretty young, hopefully he will mature and be in a better place. Hang in there.

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Back from clothes shopping with a 10yo and a very nearly 13yo girls - and we are all happy!! No tears, no arguments, no trauma - including me!! I think the girls are just as happy as I am - :H.
We are home (6pm) and I feel like rewarding my self with a lovely large cold one - and I would if I knew it would be just one! Oh well, I know what made today a success - NO HANGOVER!!! And I need to put this memory in my arsenal against the voice.
Yet again, another thanks to all of you for giving me a fabulous day with the two best things in my life - would not have done this without your support and guidance.
Would really like the supplements to come - I am hoping the L Glut and CD's work for me as they do for others - really am finding it tiring to fight so hard....:thanks:

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

4Me - Hey, most of us have had a false start or 2 - It's great you came right back and shared - You will find great advice and support here. In my opinion, you did not have an argument with yourself - The REAL you had an argument with AL, a FAKE you who doesn't give a crap about the real you, it just wants you to supply the fix. Very happy to hear you took action on the supps and the CD's...both are essential in quieting The Voice. You will find after 2 or 3 weeks of being AF, that they will have more than paid for with the money you didn't spend on AL.

Barb - Good post, but I too was surprised to read that "recovery is an event, not a process", but I suppose if we look at that in the overall context of the now moment, and yes that is truly the only moment there is, then yes, it is that event that occurs in the moment when the real me tells the alcoholic voice to shove off, and in that moment I have won and AL loses. But there are many of those now moments, AL's not going down without a fight; and so in that respect there is a process. I fully expect that those moments of confrontation will become fewer and farther apart, and I hope that I can stay undefeated!

Hey Kev! Welcome aboard! Is today your 19th day, or are you on 20 now. "cause if it's today, than you, me and WineSucks are triplets! Anyway, tell us how you've done it...we'd love to hear more!

Clover - I am so happy you spilled your guts - And my heart goes out to you - Have an adult stepson who has issues, and a 15 year old daughter who is as surly as they come. I've been trying to let go as much as I can - they have their own paths to go down and it's often painful to see which forks they choose, but it is their path, not mine. Things have a way of working out, hold loving thoughts for your son, see him in a good light, and yes, send the card and make the call - you won't be able to tell that he appreciates it, but he will.
Most of all, keep yourself on track - your path is what's most important now,

Well gang, it's been a long day. Hit the gym at 6 AM, worked 7 to 4 with no break, and came home to a wonderful grilled fish dinner. And tonight's ice cream: Otter Paws! That stuff is ridiculously good! Tomorrow, I might treat myself to a mushie (watch for the recipe!)

Thanks Nesters and have a peaceful night!

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Evening Lass! You snuck in ahead of me! Great to hear about your day. Stay strong all weekend...you can tell the voice what to do with that crap!

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

hey Greg - going looking for Tiramasu ice cream soon - I am not in Florida, so hopefully California is as advanced - what is otter paw?? ps - i am an ice cream addict too...but still hooked on vanilla, any way i can get it - last night was with farm fresh strwberries, alsl love a really great hot choc sauce...
waiting with anticipation for the mushie recipe!!!

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

So now watching "soulsurfer" with my two tan girls who have long blond hair and love water - talk about similarities, and imagine the tears! Over the cold Chardonnay - on to the need for a great Malbec!! Got Ben and Jerry's vanilla and strawberries instead!
And on another note - what a girl, and how many times did she fall off and get on again??? If Bethany can surf again, I can live again!!
Peace out everyone!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

SL - so glad to hear you're enjoying time with your girls! They grow up pretty fast

Greg, hope you enjoyed the Otter Paws (really) :H

4me, like someone mentioned earlier - taking drinking (as an option) off the table made a big difference for me as well. I quit smoking not long after I gave up my wine habit & I knew from previous attempts to quit smoking - having just 'one' does hurt me. Same goes for wine, just one & my resolve goes to hell. Being totally honest with myself for the first time ever was really hard but necessary to meet my goals. I know you will find the supplements & CDs beneficial. You will actually save a lot of $$ down the road by staying out of the wine store - I sure have & I use it to spoil the grandkids

OK, calling it a day & wishing everyone a safe night in th eNest
Lav