Newbies Nest

[Turnagain]

Newbies Nest

My new favorite sweet treat is plain yogurt with frozen blueberries. I'm darn curious about Otter Paws, though. The only thing I've seen in an otter's paw is a clam. THAT would not be a likely ice cream flavor!

Scottish Lass, I'm a vanilla girl all the way like you...used to love the stuff with chopped peanuts on top.

I'm allergic to peanuts now - no thanks to AL for giving me a leaky gut. I look forward to the day when all is finally healed.

[gizzy]

Newbies Nest

good company!

Wow, I am surprised at how comforting it is to hear other people's stories! I never imagined that other people were doing similar things to me

I always put some bottles in the recycling, but then the rest went in with the rubbish - just to pretend there aren't that many! When I was visiting my family over the holidays, I became adept at hiding the empty wine bottle and smuggling it out the next day to dispose of....I just had to be careful to get up early and wash the wine glass, otherwise my dad would notice that there was one missing.

So, moving on to my new approach, I have had two good days, with only a little wine, and today is a truly AF day I did struggle on the way home from the movies, as I really wanted to stop and buy some wine, but I did not - phew it was hard not to.

I am curoious about how I will sleep tonite.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Sunday morning Nesters!

Very humid, damp in my portion of the Nest - not shaping up to be a pleasant day but oh well! I have plenty of things to do inside in the AC

gizzy, wishing you the best on your day1. Now keep resisting that urge to buy a bottle - you can do it

have a good AF Sunday one & all!

Lav

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters! I took a bit of a break from posting here so much for a day or so, but was thinking of you all. Today is Day 27 for me and tomorrow will be 4 weeks since my last "drunk." Go me! I've been having cravings the last week or so, not overwhelming but enough to really make me think about it. I'm thinking about picking up some l-glutamine for myself when I'm out today. I'm sure I could battle through the cravings on my own, but why should I?

I'll be back later to do personal shout outs to you all. Have a wonderful and sober day!

[Clover]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Everyone! Thank you all for your input and advice regarding my son. I think ignoring his birthday would make me way too depressed. However, I will continue to stay away from him after that until he starts to grow up and pull himself together. Lavande, Greg, 4me ... several things you said really hit home and made so much sense! Dang, you are some very wise people!

The important thing for me right now is to stay sober .... and as sane as I can manage! My friends, today is Day 30 for me! I've been posting a lot on the "All I want is 30 days AF" thread. And now that I'm finally here, guess what? I want WAY more than 30!! I'm not even going to try the mod route. One or 2 glasses of wine does not even appeal to me. If I drink again, I will get stinking drunk ... every single time. So .... I thank all of you for being here, I feel blessed to have found this safe, wonderful place! I hope all of you have a lovely, sober Sunday!

[Today]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! Its 8am here and I've been on here reading for the past 2 hours. Boy, I needed this and am really grateful for all those shared stories. I'm on day 2 and although yesterday was hard, I feel bit stronger today (although tired). I am anxious about how to fill my day... do I go out where I might go to liquor store, or should I hide in the house? I think I will at least go for a walk today though, sounds like exercise is very important to this recovery!

From some of the past stories I've read, the thing that really hit me this morning was the relationships I've ruined (contributing anyway) due to AL. I can think of 3 in the past 10 years and I don't even remember the last break up and we lived together! He had an alcohol prob too and crashed his car the night before and i wake up with him on the couch telling me we broke up the night before and I was acting crazy. So we take him to clinic for bruised ribs (and go to liquor store) and then try to talk about what we were going to do about the relationship but I don't remember much of us trying. More watching tv while he drank beer with his painkillers and I drank BIG glasses of vodka. I woke up again the next day and he wasn't there. I called and he was at his parents house and was going to move out. Again, I don't remember anything. We had been together a year but I had been drinking for the past 10, heavily at certain points. So he was comfortable for me, allowed me to drink more and more and if he critisized it I let it go, and had another drink.

This all happened 4 months ago and at first I thought I would stop drinking everyday and cut back to few times a week. Then tried wine but those bottles go fast! I've realized I can't drink and would like to think I could enjoy a social beer once in while in year or so but don't really believe it. I've made many promises like that to myself.

So here I go! I'm tired and bit sore from some withdrawal but bought some of the suggested supps and hope they kick in. I am not going to have a drink today!
:new:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

FlyAway - don't fly away - we like it when you're here! Congrats on 27 AF days

Clover, your sanity & mine are of the utmost importance to me :H
Do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself
30 days AF - terrific!!!!

Today, hello & welcome to MWO!
This is a good place - has saved many of us!
AL sure will wreck relationships, your physical & mental health too. Why do we do it?
Here's a link to the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for some great ideas to make your plan. If you haven't already download the MWO book too - it's a good place to get started. Take care of yourself, drink lots of water the next few days to flush out the toxins. You will feel much better soon

[4me]

Newbies Nest

Flyaway, day 27! You Rock! I am starting on the supplements today as well.

Clover, Day 30! Yahooo!

Lav, thanks for the good advice.

Greg, I will work on dealing with the voice.

Today, the nest is a great place for you. Lots of encouragement and great advice from those who have been there.

Scottish, you are doing so great!

Gizzy, I am having the same problem. I am starting to wish I never have to go to the store again. LOL

Turnagain, I love plain greek yogurt with blueberries and a little truvia. Try it, yum!

I was looking at the avatars last night, there is some pretty scary stuff to chose from. I got a kick out of looking at the characters!

I wish you all a fantastic Sunday

[bottlestopper]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys, seeing as Clover has brought up her problems with her family (heart goes out to you here) and others have commmented too. I thought I would ask your advice here with a problem I have with my daughter.

She has just recently got married. She lives in a different country to me (where I used to live, but now I am back in the Uk and go there for holidays as I still have my house there). She has a little girl and seems very happy indeed.

However, her attitude to her father and I has completely changed. She used to be a really loving, kind, girl, who was a real family person. Always on the phone, always made a bit deal of birthdays, mothers day etc. We were so very close.


Since she met her current husband, she has completely changed. She has embraced his family completely, so much so that at the recent wedding they had all of their traiditions upheld and we had none of ours. They have at times, been quite rude to us, but she cannot and will not admit that they might be wrong. She cant do enough for them is always visiting them etc.

Whereas with us we hardly ever see or hear from her. When we are in the UK, she never rings us at all, if we speak it is always us that has to contact her. this is very costly because she doesnt have a house phone, so mobile calling another country is very expensive. She has a computer with skype but says she doesn thave time to go and get a headset (even though she works next door to a shop that sells them). In the last 12 weeks she has not rung us once, even though she has been organising the wedding (which we paid the lions share of), I ddnt get a telephone call on mothers day or my birthday even. Just a quick text, no card nothing. In past years I would have had a big fuss.

I know she has her own family now and wants to be accepted by her husbands family (this is always hard in a small community such as this) but I feel really let down about her lack of contact and thought for our feelings (there were so many times in the plans for the wedding that we felt upset due to the fact that she had chosen to do everything the way his family wanted it to be and didnt seem to care what we thought).

The question is, do I tell her how I feel and risk perhaps pushing her away even more, or do I just stay quiet and hope that it naturally resolves itself. Worried that a lot of this is my paranoid alcohol soaked brain over thinking and worrying about things.

I know it seems like nothing, but to me it is a big deal.

[4me]

Newbies Nest

Bottlestopper, your relationship with your daughter can't change if she has no idea how you feel. Is she your only child? You said she is organizing a wedding, that can totally consume anyone. When my daughter got married my husband and I didn't realize our 34th wedding anniversary had came and went just a few days before the wedding. You can call her and tell her how important it is to you to stay in touch and you miss her and love her. Put a positive spin on the situation, negativity is not a good motivator. I am sure she will be happy to know how much she means to you! Send her the headset as a keeping in touch gift. Maybe even come up with a schedule for communication.

[SarahJane]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
Having a great Sunday here, just about to take the kids to the beach for a surf before dinner. Had a great night out last night at my Book Club, enjoyed it more than when I was drinking! Stayed until 2am, drove home & leftthem to finish off their wine. They are lovely people who don't drink often, but were very interested in me not drinking. I told them I hated having hangovers, that when I had any wine I didn't sllep well & always felt the effect of it the next day. I told them that I was actually having a great time not drinking & that I didn't plan to drink anymore. I also said I wanted to be a good example to my kids & they all agreed that they were very conscious of AL around kids.
Very interseting evening. Day 16 & doing great.

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

scottish lass;1159504 wrote: hey Greg - going looking for Tiramasu ice cream soon - I am not in Florida, so hopefully California is as advanced - what is otter paw?? ps - i am an ice cream addict too...but still hooked on vanilla, any way i can get it - last night was with farm fresh strwberries, alsl love a really great hot choc sauce...
waiting with anticipation for the mushie recipe!!!

Otter Paws is a vanilla ice cream with caramel, almonds and chunks of chocolate swirled in! Way Tasty!!

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Gizzy - The first few days are always the most challenging - The Voice will not be happy you have cut off the poison. Be strong, hit the gym, take the supps and get the CD's going...The Voice will become easier to deal with after a few more days. Keep it going, we know you can do it!

Lav - It's like 95 in the shade here with 85% humidity. We were out running errands for a few hours today and were just exhausted when we got in...had to take a little nap! Hey, that's what Sundays are for, right?

FlyAway - You'll have that first month done before you know it - You are doing great!

Clover - Awesome on the 30 days! Your priorities are in order!

Today - Welcome aboard! You have found the right spot and you're off to a good start..order the CD's as well - the Hypnotherapy really helps to get your thinking right so you can handle The Voice when it makes a run at you.

4Me - One day at a time; don't be overwhelmed by thinking off into the future. Just stay sober today, and then come tomorrow, just stay sober today. Keep posting...most of us were where you are just a week or two or three ago...we will help you!

Hi TurnAgain - Hope all is well for you!

BottleStopper - That's a rough situation and we all feel for you. I know for me that I have to be really careful about resentments. If I dwell on a resentment too long, it just seems to empower The Voice. Y'know- "Look how those people are doing you, that aint right, you deserve to just forget about all that crap and have a few drinks"
So, I do try and catch resentment quickly and just work on letting them go. Nothing anyone else does is because of me anyway. There's my work,your work, and God's work. I can only do my work. And right now, my job is to be sober!

SarahJane- Nice work at the book club! You are staying strong...Nice Job!

I forgot to get the cookies for mushie night, so I'm going to trot back down to the store.

Be back in a bit!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Well, I've just about had it with all the talk of vanilla ice cream...I'm throwning down my spoon! When I was a kid, my Aunt Bert made this homemade vanilla ice cream and everyone made a huge deal out of it. What an ordeal, the ice...the salt...but on a hot NC afternoon, this is what they did. My Aunt Bert was a wonderful lady...but a lousy cook. She made this ice cream so strong with vanilla...I couldn't stand it. I was ridiculed. So after the ice cream hardened and everyone else was sitting there with their huge bowls of sickening sweatness...I got to crank the dang ice cream thing. It was awful. "You don't know what you're missing!" they'd shout over...yeah, an insulin shot, I'd mumble under my breath! Humph! So I cannot lean into the idea of eating it to this very day. Now you know, another hang up.
I am so behind, but would like to say this about that wonderful quotation that Lav took a second look at (and so did I) the one line about recovery not being a process. The hairs on the back of my neck bristled too. As I see it...a SERIES of 'now' events constitutes a process. I was going to elaborate on that, but the more I did the worse it got so I will leave it at that.
Bottle...you can drive youself insane trying to make someone do what you want them to. Maybe you can find a little peace in this...I know I did...the only relationship that you can control is the one you have with her. You can't control the one she has with the other in laws...you can't control the one she has with her hubs. So all you can do is try to make the relationship that you have with her as successful as you can. That's ALL you can do.
I was getting ready this morning, and noticed the curtains in my bathroom were dusty...so I grabbed the hand vac and went at them...dust started flying all over I was appalled! So I took them all down and was further appalled at all the dust behind them! Combine that with goo that must be of hairspray origin it was a mess. The upper half of my bathroom is black...so I wiped a rag across it, and thought, this is out of control! Now I couldn't stop you could see the place I wiped! To make a long story longer...I ended up throwing out all the fake flowers, washed all the walls, and totally cleaning the place. Even the dog was dusty...
I am so happy to see the success that's going on here...and the folks, once new, now offering valuable advice..and coping skills.. I tell you, in those first days, IT MATTERS! Great job to all!!! Byrdie

[WineSucks]

Newbies Nest

Good Evening Nesters! It's been a relaxing Sunday for me and I'm getting ready for a stressful week but at least I won't be hungover. Barb...I really liked your post yesterday regarding the AL voice. I actually used it yesterday and it worked!

Clover - 30 Days is awesome!!!!! I'm on Day 20 so I have 10 more to go but I suspect, like you, I will want more than 30 days. Also, I understand the pain you are having with your Son. I went through some similar issues with my youngest. I ended up sending her to live with her Dad for awhile and it really helped in our situation. Sometimes we have to detach ourselves from our problems. Sheri has a great thread about detachment in the "what we believe" thread.

Hope everyone has a great sober Sunday evening and a great day tomorrow.

WS