Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

You know, I think the goofy dreams are a sort of a blessing. After 30 days or so, if you are wondering how it'd feel to test the waters...and then you have a dream like that, you wake up so thankful that your days are still in tact. Least it was that way for me. Dreams are reminders to never take your quit for granted.
I am so proud of the not-so-new nesters taking the lead on how it is in the beginning. It's a tough decision to make and hold on to. As you can easily see, every post counts. If you are having a hellova day 6 ...tell us. Then you'll see day 7 isn't bad at all. These are the milestones I was looking for when I flew in. Mostly, when do these freaking cravings stop??? I've just thought of something....I will pose this question to the nest? When DO the cravings become bearable and manageable?
I will say day 13 was a milepost...cravings eased. Day 30, I think was it...I wasn't craving so bad...and when they occurred, I was able to whack them down. At 7 months tomorrow (insert nest cheers here!!!) I have no cravings at all...and being sober is as normal to me now as being drunk was 7 months ago. It is a great place to be. I will just say...every day you go without AL is an easier day than the day before.
Hubs is deciding to do the radioactive seeds for his prostate cancer. We go on Aug 31 for a volume study, to see how many seeds and such he will need. We are very optimistic for a good outcome and minimal side effects (I guess everyone is before a procedure).
Welcome new folks!!! We are NOT a judgmental bunch here...our aim is to help each other...people pull us in...and it's our jobs to pull others in who seek help. Support is what it's all about, knowing you arne't alone in this fight...it sure feels lonely sometimes, until I log into this place. Thank you all for helping me do what I could never do before on my own! XO, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie,
That's a relatively new treatment for prostate CA. Do you have to travel far to find a radiation Oncologist? Hopefully you don't live in cow country like I do :H

I have to repeat again.......
I joined MWO hoping I could learn to moderate after 30 AF days BUT by the time I reached 30 days my thinking had seriously shifted. I am grateful to the Hypno CDs for that And grateful to myself for finally finding the fortitude to stop BS-ing myself

[Sunsign]

Newbies Nest

Win-Win Situation

Morning, Nesters! Great day to be safe in the Nest! I am hoping that some of our nestmates that we don't hear from any more are still here reading even if they aren't posting. I miss them and hope they're okay.

4Me: Hope you?re enjoying your Texas Vacay! Besides my home state of SC, it?s one of my favorite places?so welcoming and hospitable and I love the food!
LIS: I need to find a Zumba class! I went to one when I was visiting my sis and loved it?so much fun and didn?t even feel like exercise! I hope you?re feeling better and things go well with your Doc visit.
Litre: Congrats on making a big first step?the first step on your way out of this! You can do it! (Insert Byrdie profile pic here)!
Abielle: Day 29?Whoo hoo! That?s something to be proud of! Congrats!
ITD: Very worried about you. I hope you?re taking care of yourself. Glad you?re hanging in there AF. If you're struggling, you might wanna check out the chat room--it's a great way to have IMMEDIATE support! Saved my hiney a few nights!
Anima: Day 4?Yayayayayay! Nice to meecha!
Greg: You are a brave dude?quitting smoking and drinking at the same time!!! And, thanks for the ?way of dealing with things was killing me comment.? I?ve been stressed and that leaves a little opening for the Voice: ?You?ve proven you can do it. Obviously, you don?t have a problem?it?s been almost three weeks. You even went to a concert and fetched drinks for people and were fine. Go ahead, have a glass of wine. You?ve earned it.? You?ve reminded me that I?ve earned is a poison that will kill me. Again, thanks. Hope things are getting better for you with the kids, too!
Byrd: I?m not sure with only three weeks in, I?m qualified to answer your, ?When do cravings stop/subside question,? but I?ll give it a stab. For me, it?s situational and stopping the cravings requires stopping the situations that are triggers for me or relearning new behaviors in my old situations. Concert was a clear example?decided to DD to relearn my concert behavior. I used to drink wine while I watched tv at night or when I was in my hotel room alone. Now I can?t watch tv at night?there?s AL everywhere on tv as a reminder. I clean or do laundry or exercise. Even read. But those are much better uses of my time anyway and they tucker me out which helps me sleep better, too?win-win! Also, thinking of you and your hubby and wishing ya?ll well as you move into treatments.
Lav: Feel free to share more of your MetaPhysical wisdom with us! I love it!

[crimsons]

Newbies Nest

@intheditch, is is possible that it's Matrix instead of Nexus? If so, it's an outpatient group therapy that also includes 12-step meetings. It was developed at Hazelden and here's some info:
The Matrix Model - Intensive Outpatient Addiction Treatmetn Program -- Hazelden
Here in LA, there are four treatment centers, all administered through the University of California medical school. I've met two people who've been through it and liked it better than the idea of rehab.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lav...yes we are lucky enough to have an accredited facility here that does the radiation. From what we've gleaned ...they are as good outcome-wise as Duke or UNC Chapel Hill. My step daughter is a nurse and my walkiing partner is a former nurse. They have really taken the reigns on this thing as far as leg work and long term side effects. We are very grateful...as we knew nothing....Thank you all for your thoughts. It is comforting to know I'm not in THAT boat alone either!! (too many boats I'm in!! Somebody stop me!!!) Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Hope everyone is chillin by now

Sunsign, nothing relevant coming from me tonight.....I've been killing brain cells with paint fumes :H I realized today that my powder room needed sprucing up & there is no magic fairy waiting to do it for me so I'm elected :H Just did my bedroom a few weeks ago so I should just keep painting until the entire house is done!!!

crimsons, how are you doing today?

Byrdie, I am situated about halfway between Baltimore & Philadelphia so there are plenty of good hospitals ~ if you feel like a trip
Ret. nurse Lav is kind of picky herself

Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!

Lav

[Today]

Newbies Nest

Wishing everyone in the Nest a good night, and welcome to Crimsons, Litre and Anima. This is a wonderful, informative and comforting place.

I had a quiet evening at home reading a great book (Jim Butcher's Ghost Story). I used to love reading and drinking and now I've realized that it is much better to read AF! Somehow, when I had a drink it made it more of an exciting night, like then it was okay to stay in reading. But, it is nice AF and better because I remember what I read!

I am happy knowing I will wake up tomorrow hangover-free, guilt-free and without buying a bottle, I've "freed" up some $$ for the weekend too!

I am 13 days! Whooohoo!

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Super Saturday

Good Day Nestorians Everywhere!

Got some more lousy news yesterday evening....Financing for our "new to us" sailboat fell through. Weird, because we had been completely "assured" and have been waiting backstage while the seller scuttled another offer to work with us. Oy! It's a good thing I don't get drunk every time life throws me a curve ball! Just trying my darnest to stay positive, keep the faith and trust the outcome to the Higher Power...

Hello Byrdie - Sounds like you did your homework - I think that will be an excellent option for hubs....That and the nest-full of positive vibes coming your way!
As to the physical cravings, I would say that was about 10 days to two weeks...for me, the physical cravings gave way to the insidious voice trying to convince me one way or another to have a drink or two. Fortunately, I already have an adolescent, so I was practiced in the art of dismissing childish reasoning... AND, I can quickly remind myself that one or two drinks has NEVER been on my menu,,,, it's always been drink to the brink.

Hello SunSign! Hello Crimson!

Congrats Today...Two Weeks AF...Nicely done,,,Now go and git you a month! :goodjob:

Hope Litre and Anima had an AF night and will post again today.

Thinking good thoughts for 4Me and Ditcher...

Well, me Nesties, it's off to the gym for this fledgling...Then work straight 7 AM to 4 PM...Will try and sneak back by the Nest a little later!

Have a safe and sober Saturday!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

90% humidity & fog in my portion of the Nest this morning. What's up with this weather anyway?

Greg, have a great day! I worked every other weekend all of my life & can honestly tell you that I don't miss it :H Sorry to hear about your boat......hope something works out for you.

Today, great on your 13 AF days! Sober reading just makes sense, doesn't it?

I have all sorts of things to do to keep me busy & out of trouble today. No room for AL in my life
Wishing everyone a great AF Saturday!

Lav

[tonstantweader]

Newbies Nest

I used to try to read while drinking, but pretty soon the words all mushed together, I couldn't remember what I had just read, I'd spill wine on the book and it all seemed like so much trouble!
Lavande, Between Baltimore and Philadelphia, eh? That used to be my stomping ground. Can't tell you how often I used to drive from south of Baltimore, up I-95, off at Perryville, over to Route 1, and on to places northward. Seems like a lifetime ago.
Good vibes to everyone today. This is my third sober Saturday. Feels so good to greet it with a clear head!

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Hello everybody. I haven't been around much lately but have remained AF and today marks 7 weeks. D-Day is coming though as I leave the country for vacation in a week and the internal battle rages. This will be a real challenge but I am wondering if I am setting myself up to drink by my attitude. I know when I start joking about drinking this is always a setup. I have been joking about AL lately and it's got me nervous. I know the consequences and yet seem ambivalent. Returning after vacay and having to start over will be hard once again having to go through all those early days. ~~ I have a week to set up a plan which I fully intend to follow through with. Just anxious about the whole thing. Time will tell but I think this pivots around having a great plan in place. I have formulated the plan in my head but know I must have it in writing with cue cards to refer to when my weak moments pop up. Thanks for listening & strength to all remaining AF.

p.s.~ I am open to suggestions that may help w/ an AF vacation.

[life...take2]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

I've been out of the nest for a while, but not off the wagon! Been so busy trying to clear my desk and mind before I leave for vacation today. A "buddies" vacation....just the guys... have my plan although I have no desire to drink. In fact, I am going to shop for wine this morning with a friend who is a "connoisseur" -- he's got his list of summer wines --- me, I'm picking up my bagged Lipton and lemons for sun/iced tea! My indifference still surprsies me. A year ago, I would have been in charge of buying the booze, buying 1 bottle for me, 1 bottle for everyone else...doing everything to make sure I had 1-2 bottles a night. Now, buying liquor is like buying Pepsi. I don't want to drink it but it doesn't bother me to pick it up for others who do....and that fills me with so much gratitude. Sobriety is a BLESSING. I can't wait to walk the beach with my coffee, to see the sun rise and set over the water with my iced tea....to savor the smell and taste of grilled fish...to live in the present moment. To be off that crazy merry-go-round!

I've scrolled through 3-4 pages of the thread: I can't believe how many newbies have come to the nest. I'm convinced that alcoholism is a physical and spirtual disease [spiritual broadly defined]. Solitude and lonliness - fear of connecting with others - make the bottle attractive, but there really isn't a cure until we connect with others to share our stories, stretch out an arm, and pull each other up and out of isolation. I don't think I could have maintained sobriety without this site. Lonliness and alienation from others is part of the disease and communion and solidarity with others is part of the cure. What amazes me is how many of us share so much here -- more than we share with our kids, spouses, family and friends. Another blessing.

Well, too much exercise and now I must slow down because of a pulled muscle. But I'm not upset....I'm learning to live hour by hour in all aspects of my life...more is accomplished when I do a little at a time. Like sobriety, 1 hr will become 5, 5 hours become 24, a day turns into a week.

I'll bring the puter so I can follow everyone's progress as I have my morning coffee. Today is 10 weeks for me [70 days - yikes!] AF. THANK YOU all for pulling me up and out!:thanks:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Get off Rte 1 in Oxford & you'll find me tonstant Small world!!

Looks like we need a little party here today......

:wave:

CONGRATS Hypernova on your 7 AF weeks!
CONGRATSs life on your 10 AF weeks!
Excellent work you guys, keep going, you'll never be sorry

A little history......
I quit drinking in March 09, quit smoking in May 09 & went away on vacation the first week of June. I was scared s***less BUT i was also determined to keep my quits! I had had enough of disappointing myself over the years, that's easy to do. So I just challenged myself to an AF & NF vacation & I did it - no problem. Had a great time too exploring beautiful Old City Quebec

Just keep making yourself a firm commitment each & everyday to remain AF & not disappoint yourself & you'll be OK!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Today!!! Day 13...can you tell any difference in your thinking? Like, maybe this IS something you can do? That's when it clicked for me. I hope you are finding that too. It helps so much to realize this is not the impossible dream (with apologies to Don Quixote).
Ah...vacation! Remember Lav's wise words....it's just another day. Don't let yourself entertain those thoughts of maybe I can. Listen to me...YOU CAN NOT. We can't drink a little and then go back. Keep your quit at all costs...AT ALL COSTS! Say NO, before you even think about it. Last week, I was out with a cliet, his wife and my boss. The waitress came and asked for our drink orders...starting with me (wouldn't you know) I said water with lime...my customer said, WATER! Since when??? I said, wine aggravates something else I've got going (old nesters...insert 'my marriage and my liver' here). He said, ONE glass isn't going to hurt you.....I looked over my reading glasses raised an eyebrow and said, it isnt' YOUR colon! and he shut right up! One glass IS going to hurt you, it's gonna set you back light years...you just go back and look at the old messages on this site....mine included. One drink is too many, and 1000 aren't enough. ONE glass ....is not going to do any of us any good.....
So...Here's to the many great successes in this nest!!! I wish us strength today, and peace. Kick The Voice's ass today!!! Love you all, Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

And another thing!!
Greg...30 days??? Look at you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was totally remiss in giving you big props for this long stretch!! Sorry to hear about all the crap coming your way. You know, these things come in 'spells' as we say in the South. Everyone has them and it's YOUR turn. Things will turn around soon, and you will be on the business end of good things...
LifeX2...what a beutifully written piece, your last post. Isolation and the sense we get here from knowing others are fighting the very same demons. My hubs has no idea of the internal struggles...he thinks it has been easy. And that's just fine....you all know what each day that passes means...it's one leg up out of the 'ditch'!
Thanks to all! Byrdie (x2!)