Newbies Nest

[cailin]

Newbies Nest

Ya it makes sense and I will try it. I'm so angry with myself and screaming inside and if I'm not drinking I don't feel like doing anything and oh I don't know - just going on a rant now and cursing and crying and getting agitated with myself.

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

Its normal to feel like that and it will pass, the first few days I go AF I lie on the sofa unable to get myself together I'm highly emotional and irrational about the stupidist things.

I find I sleep a lot more than usual too, needing to nap in the day, on an evening then sleep well at night, which my GP has now put down to being Stressed and depressed, funnily it get works when I'm stressed over not drinking..

Take it easy, be kind to yourself, juices, fresh fruit, a pick me up treat at the end of your first goal:l

Writing down how you feel helps too, I write down my feelings both mentally and physically, that way i have something to look at when I feel that urge to drink... do I really want to be that physcially sick again? Can I handle a hangover that lasts two days, do i want to blackout and worry about what I did, said etc?

Take care:l

[cailin]

Newbies Nest

Thanks a mill. Heading to bed now. Tomorrow is another day and I'll get through it hopefully AF. Chat tomorrow - good or bad.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Well, I felt the earth move underneath my portion of the Nest this afternoon!
There was an 5.9 earthquake centered in Virgina & it rumbled right up the east coast :wow: No damage around these parts as far as I know!

Cailin, glad you came to the Nest!
The best place for you to get started is downloading & reading the MWO book. You can get it right from the Health store here on the website. It has lots of good info for you. And don't just try to wing it - you need to make a good plan for yourself. Use the tools in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html. There are tons of good ideas in their. Stick close to MWO, check in frequently ~ it really helps!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest

Lav

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Good Evening Nestorainians!!

Holy Scmoley...The Nest has been busy...so much to comment on, just don't know where to start....
OK...Welcome Cailin! YES, you are in the right place, and NO, we are not all of the womanly persuasion (although I am regularly in touch with my feminine side )
Don't beat yourself up...that's not going to do much for you - pat yourself on the back for finding The Nest and give yourself credit for realizing that it's time for a change. And don't get overwhelmed...just worry about staying AF today....drink LOADS of water...read lots of posts.

Leave - I am so there with resentments...i KNOW this is a big issue I will always have to be vigilant with...I have had them all my life, and you know what I have to show for them? Nothing....they're just a big waste of energy..I thank you for bringing up the topic, because I've been having my fair share lately....just seems like it's been one dang thing after another... Just a damn good thing I have not been self-medicating!

RBG - 51 days...You GO! And no cafe....YIKES! I had to get a month sober under my belt before i felt brave enough to quit smoking (9 days without lighting up - but I have been chewing the gum, so not really nicotine free yet...but I am working on it!)

Lav -Wish I could wake up with temps in the 60's....maybe Halloween!! Can't even get outta the 80's overnight!

SunSign... Thanks for reminding me "this or something better". I needed that. Sometimes when it's just one thing after another it gets challenging to stay positive and upbeat - But, we get what we focus on, so I gotta stay focused on GOOD!

Today! Up to 18 days already? Wow! Nicely Done and keep it going!

Mema...Welcome...Should be Day 3 now? Stay close to the Nest, we've all been there, and we are all here to cheer you on...just keep showing up!

Turn - Holey Schmoley!! A month already! WOOOHOOO! And a fellow seafarer! Aye, Matey! How was the fishin?

Byrdie - You have the BEST lines! Hands Down... It's not YOUR colon! Priceless!!

I just told by bestest bud I can't go on a man-date to smoke cigars and drink beers...he doesn't quite get it, but we are different. He can have 2 beers and call it a day. Gregorino has NEVER had that ability. It'll be OK....we have plenty of other shared interests...

Take2 - Your posts are so well done....I'd like to express myself half that well at 10 weeks. Thanks for sharing in The Nest!

Hyper - You sound like you know yourself pretty well - don't interpret that understanding as a "permission", take it for what it is - a good understanding of where you have been, where you are now, and how well you're going to do on vacation. I like the sceenplay idea... Write out a few scenes of you on vacation,,, a clear head, a relaxing change of pace, a good book, exploring new places..... Getting all stupid won't make your trip any more enjoyable!

Weader... 3 weeks plus...Excellent Work!

Sorry if i missed anyone....Where's our new Nesters from last week? Keep coming back...if you fell out of the Nest, then get your butts back in!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Cailin, you have many similaraties to my situation. Right down to the anti depressants...please read my posts since 11-17- 2010. this is when I stopped taking Cymbalta...cold turkey, nearly died....so it's been a long journey. Read and learn what people do to cope and get our way out of this abyss. You can do it! Knowledge is power you can't approach it using hope as your plan...you must have a gameplan to defeat these darn demons that tell us the wrong things. I'm about to fall asleep in my chair....so keep checking in...someone will be here for you. Hang on with us. We are the way out. Not the old way. Come in and sit a while. Byrdie

[4me]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters! So much going on in the nest I am not even going to try and catch up. I missed everone! :h

Cailin, welcome! You are in a great place with people who have been, and are in your shoes. We are all here for each other.

I am back on AF Sun. through Fri. until after my next vacation in a few weeks. A few drinks on vacation, but not completely AF. I am gearing up for the big 30 days AF. Why is that scary 4 me? I do so good during the week, I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like a coward, however have decided not to try the 30 days until I get back from MT. I finally got the CD's, actually 2 sets. I was so worried when they didn't arrive and went back to the order page and it said no order found, long story short, I now have 2 sets. Yikes, I need to find a phone number and send one back. I will be giving them a try this evening and looking forward to it.

Everyone is doing so good!

[Turnagain]

Newbies Nest

G'night Nestmates...

It's been another busy day here...happy to see new 'uns coming in and some of us older ones doing good.

I'm uploading a few pics to share what I've been doing with all the dough I've saved by not drinkin' and smokin' and mainlining lattes.

Last weekend, I took my 83 year old Dad out fishing...we didn't exactly reel in a ton-o-fish..but got a few good ones AND the joy of a beautiful non-rainy day out on Resurrection Bay in the southcentral part of AK.


Grego...I snapped the sailboats for you. You can get some real deals on boats here...problem is...you'd have to get them to thar!



Finally...meet my new puppy love. Isn't he just precious?



Wednesday...I'm taking grandpa and grandma on a mini roadtrip to see granddaughter. There will be lotsa family fun in another beautiful place...AL isn't invited. Suck on that, Mr. Beer Belly and Mrs. Whine-o.

May or may not have access to the tubes. I will be thinking about all of you whether I can post or not. Will look forward to reading your SUCCESS stories as you conquer another weekend and vanquish the demons. It's a great feeling to feel great again.

[cailin]

Newbies Nest

Morning from the Emerald Isle everyone, Turnagain, photos are fab, not a fan of fishing or the water but the scenery if lovely and as for the puppy he is a dote, a big doggy fan, I have a few! This is my 2nd day starting, feel ok but tired and the morn aint my trigger, its night time. Have arranged to go for a walk later and a big clean up here in my house that looks like a squat - or a badly laid out charity shop. Thanks 'oldie nesters' for you inspiration and personal welcomes. Onwards and upwards. Have a good day.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Great to see you back today cailin! Get through today AF & you are on your way. Housework is a perfect distraction

Turnagain, gorgeous pics!!!!!
So strange for me to see snow capped mountains in August as it's been horrendously hot here all summer. Glad you are enjoying your freedom from the chains of AL

4me, good to see you as well! Sounds like you are managing as well.
I hope the CDs help change your perspective like they did for me When do you leave for MT?

Well, I hots lots going on so I'll wish everyone a happy AF Wednesday in the Nest!

Lav

[cailin]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lavande, I'm good so far. I have to say I had a snooze but I'm glad I did as Id be really agitated if I didn't. You think its funny to see snow capped mountains and I do also but I also am green with envy with your weather and the heat. Jeez we here are still waiting for a summer, it was crap as usual, peeing here again today.

[Sunsign]

Newbies Nest

Embrace this AF life!

Cailin: Yes, yes, yes! You are in the right place! So glad you joined us! I think my drinking stems from boredom/loneliness so in the beginning I stayed very busy! Like Lav said, cleaning is therapeutic! I thought I was gonna scrub the paint off the walls at one point. I also had trouble sleeping initially but all the activity tuckered me out at night. I agree with everyone on having a plan. And, Greg has suggested writing it down--it makes you so much more accountable to have written down what you will do to stay AF. I also found the chat on the site helpful on nights when I was struggling or lonely. Everyone I?ve encountered on the site is really welcoming and supportive! And, finally, I watch ?Intervention? or youtube.com?s ?Rain In My Heart? if I?m really struggling. Seeing the long-term social, emotional, mental, and physical affects of AL abuse is a good reminder for keeping me on the straight and narrow. :welcome:
Lav: I am so technologically illiterate that I don?t really know what Pandora is!?! Maybe you can fill me in a little more? I just got an iPod last summer and I?m still discovering its capabilities. It makes me feel old to be this resistant to technology. PS: So glad you are safe and sound after the quake!
LIS & Greg: Yes, what is that resentful feeling and where does it come from? I?ve experienced this, too, and feel like a temper-tantruming toddler. I feel this urge to stomp my foot sometimes, but for me also, it doesn?t seem to be related to not drinking?hmmm. I feel short-tempered and my emotions are all over the place. I?m guessing that means I?m still not balanced out after going AF. Anyone else have any thoughts on this?
Byrd: I always appreciate your posts! I?m learning to do things that always required me to be drunk before and it feels akin to public speaking?so scary when you first try it but feels like I?ve accomplished something afterward. The feeling of?I guess I do have something to say!?! Thank you for encouraging us.
4Me: Why are you beating yourself up? Just by cutting back, you?re doing SO MUCH GOOD for your body and your relationships. You have to do what feels good and right for you.
Turn: Wowowowow! What a beautiful place and love, love, love your new four-legged friend?it?s got me itching for a puppy! Thank you for always being so positive and reminding us to EMBRACE this AF life! :thanks:

[Hypernova]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Gregorino for remembering me. Haven't been around so much lately reading or posting. Think it is the anxiety of the vacation thing hanging over me and procrastination being my foe. But if I don't write down ~~ on paper~~ my plan(s) or develop a screenplay or game plan I will be in precarious place when it comes to being out of my element for so long. I remember ByrdLady's words of don't even think about drinking. I took them seriously and meditated on it. I was resolved but people at work have been goading me saying it's vacation and you deserve it relax and enjoy. Then my mind starts talking and I will admit there is a big part of me that says O.K. drink on vacation if you must or will but then have the plan in place to stop immediately upon arriving home. I don't know how I feel but do know I would rather lead my life for the most part AF. I feel like I am in in a washing machine on soak right now about to go in to the wash cycle and then hit the spin cycle. My brother does not drink at all ever (has had too many problems caused by AL) but when he goes on vacation he does drink and then comes home and doesn't. So much churning in my brain right now, hope this does not sound trivial b/c it is a big deal. I don't like to fail but then again I don't need to beat me self up over a holiday. Enough for now I am aggravated and wish I was staying home in my own nest with access to this nest. Maybe the solution is to not go away for such a long time out of my element before I have more AF time. Trouble is I booked the expensive flight long before I went AF. Oh well I have two days to put down on paper my plans. Which will include a contingency plan for quitting once I get back. Wow, I have been having such an easy time of it wracking up the days lately. Sorry if the post is long winded but I feel the need to let it out. Thanks for the support and I will be back before I leave .

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Lunchtime

cailin, I visited Ireland 8 summers ago & just loved it! I was there the first week of June, the weather was perfect. Guess I lucked out
Take a nap, take a walk, do whatever you need to do to keep yourself feeling well cared for this week :l

Sunsign - luckily my kids have helped me stay tuned into things. If left on my own I don't know where I would be in the technology world
Just go to Pandora Radio - Listen to Free Internet Radio, Find New Music & you can listen to any music you like for free! I have a subscription because I use it daily for many hours at a time.
The Rain in my Heart documentary says it all, doesn't it??

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hypernova,
A question for you ........
Do you want to drink while you are on vacation or do you think you have to drink while away??

If you are worried about not having a 'good time AF' - stop torturing yourself!
I can honestly tell you, without a doubt that you can still enjoy yourself AF, have done it & will continue to do it
Don't allow yourself to feel pressured by anyone! We are adults afterall & if we say no thanks, we mean NO THANKS!

Remove the importance of AL on your vacation & just focus on the wonderful food, scenery, phot ops & remembering every minute & every detail of your trip.
Leave your stress & worries at home & live in the moment without AL on board - you won't be sorry