Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters far & wide!

Preparations for Hurricane Irene continue over my portion of the Nest! It's going to get pretty severe in the overnight hours & I am grateful to be perched high enough up on the hill away from Little Elk Creek that meanders behind my house Flooding is definitely going to be an issue with 5-10" of rain predicted along with 50-70 mph wind gusts.

lis, stick to your plan honey

Wishing everyone a goood & safe AF day in the Nest!

Lav

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

gosh Lav hope you are okay and everyone too, this must be such a bad one as its constantly on the news here, thinking if you all

definately no driking for me tonight another change of plan one if my friends is too ill to attend so its going to be a girlie night with a different plan so ive offered to drive and i never ever drive if ive had even a couple of sips of AL so there is no worry about being tempted by just one

wishing everyone a healthy AF weekend

[Today]

Newbies Nest

Leaveinsilence, I have a girls' party tonight too and have been mentally motivating myself to stay AF tonight. One of the ladies has a habit of pouring me wine, even when I've said I've had enough, or not having any. I will remain firm however, stick to the fizzy drink I will bring and simply ignore any wine she chooses to pour. She can have it. I hope you have a really nice evening with the ladies, thanks for sharing your plan, we can do it!

Lav, I'm on the West coast and its clear, blue and mild. I will try to send some good vibes and good weather your way. Irene justs needs to move on already! Also, I'm a bit behind on my posts but thank you for answering my question about your days. Wow! Almost 1000 days AF, you are an inspiration to us

Welcome Hopefulinsooke, this is a great place to get support, comfort and insight from others who know just how you feel. Good luck!

Congrats Turnagain for staying AF during all those events, that is awesome! I remember too, trying to stash AL so that I could keep my buzz on. I so don't miss that!

Have a wonderful Saturday Nesters!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

We made it thru a-ok. Long night and little sleep, the shutters rattled and the house shook...so I will sleep better tonight.
We had no damage, but a mile up the road they are under 8 feet of water. My heart goes out to them...but they always flood around the low lying areas, I was hoping the countermeasures would help...Still windy, but Irene is heading up north. Anyone in the path, what got us down here were limbs falling of trees...a man went out to fetch his cat in and a dead limb fell off his tree and killed him. Trim those dang things off before she hits! Good luck, Lav....xxoo, Byrdie

[SarahJane]

Newbies Nest

I am glad you are safe Byrd. Terrible about the poor man fetching his cat.
(I was laughing at your take on the 'hurling' in a previous post)

Turn I am not planning on moderating. I suppose I was trying to do that for 5 years before I came here. I continually promised myself that if I couldn't have only 2 drinks 2/week then I wouldn't have any. Now is time to follow through. I know if I had 1 glass then I would have several, more the next night. Then the cycle of feeling terrible & giving myself a hard time would start all over again. My first post was called Groundhog Day because that is what my life had become. I am not finding it easy at the moment being AF but I think that is because there are other things that I need to deal with now that I am not suppressing my emotions anymore. It is tough but it is what I need to do now to grow as a person & to actually life my life. And I am feeling alot healthier now- I ran 9 miles this morning which I am quite proud off. Still need to lose 20 pounds but I am working on that too.

Must get my butt into the kitchen & be a bit domestic. Have a lovely safe Saturday everyone.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

:yay: Glad you are OK Byrdie!!!
Light rain & gentle breeze here right now. The heavy stuff will be hitting after 2 AM.
I just lectured my chickens & told them to stay put in their awesome house because I will not be out running after any of them :H

Today, great to see you!
Enjoy your gathering tonight & just keep repeating my mantra to yourself "I don't drink anymore, I don't drink anymore'. Simplistic but effective

SarahJane, 9 miles? Wow!!! Good for you!! You should be losing those extra pounds very soon.
I just mentioned on another thread that I tried all my modding before finding MWO. Obviously I wasn't very good at controlling my drinking I am proud to say I have not had a drop since going AF. I was actually weaning when I joined MWO.

[leaveinsilence]

Newbies Nest

SJ nine miles, wow the thought of that shatters me, one of the things id likd to do eventually is run like that , i can barely make it to the next lamp post at the moment, ive been trying the walk run then walk technique to no avail


i get exactly what you mean about groudhog day everyday felt like that for me, still does if im honest but no AL makes it a lot easier

byrdie glad you made it through withoutsustaining damage it must be heartbreaking seeing people nearby losing everything though

today enjoy your girl nighf you got your juice and your plan so all you got to do is stick to it

everyone in the nest bave a good day evening im going to ejoy my pass out from the family toight lol

love to you all lee xx

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Nearly 8 pm in my portion of the Nest. Rain & wind picking up although the major event won't happen until around 3 am tomorrow morning.

Just wanted to wish everyone a safe night in the Nest & use those Nestbelts if necessary

I'll check back in when I can!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Stay safe, Lav.....thinking of you....

[Daya]

Newbies Nest

An Update

Hi Folks,
just thought I'd give you all an update. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I can stay away from drinking when I'm not around it, but as I also mentioned, my husband is a heavy drinker who will not give up, or moderate. Anyway, he has been away for the last week, so I tipped the last of the wine down the drain on Monday , had no booze Monday night, went out to dinner with a friend on Tuesday and had 3 red wines (in a 5 hour period).

This is actually quite an achievement for me, and one of the first times I have gone out and not got trashed, or woken up with a hangover.

So I haven't had any alcohol since Tuesday. 4 days AF is also quite an achivement for me, but I have been waking up feeling really groggy and tired, with a dull headache the last few day, almost like a hangover. My mood has improved dramatically though, and I do feel much mentally clearer. Has anyone else experienced these sort of effects when you stop drinking? I used to drink on average a bottle of red a night. I haven't really had any serious cravings to drink, but as I said when its not in the house, I can put it from my mind.

Which leads me to what I am worried about. My husband comes back today, and will be bringing his bottles of red with him.....I really do not want to drink. I find moderating very difficult when at home, so its best if I don't start. I want to stay alcohol free for the next 3 weeks, I have a work event on after that, which I would like to see how I go with drinking.

I am enjoying the feeling of safety which I am experiancing from not drinking, and the underlying anxiety and fear which I have been feeling for a while seems to be going quite rapidly

Any tips on how to resist AL while its in the house would be greatly apreciated. And to all you folks in the path of the hurricane, I hope you are all arlight.

[Today]

Newbies Nest

Hi Daya, it may be difficult to stop drinking when your husband continues to do so (and heavily) but you can do it! I would suggest a mantra "I don't drink anymore." A few people have posted that and I think thats what it comes down to. If you are a drinker; you will drink. If you decide no more, you are no longer drinking; then there you go; you don't drink (anymore). But, easier said than done. I'm not in a relationship right now and my ex was an alky like me. The times I didn't drink when he did (or, hey when I was alone) was when I kept busy, whether it was reading, crafts or out shopping or with friends. Keep occupied, and that should help in the beginning. Good luck!


Speaking of easier said than done; I didn't follow my plan. I did have a very nice evening at a lovely ladies night party but ended up caving into pressure. One lady had brought several bottles of rhubarb strawberry wine and kept commenting how sorry she was that I couldn't try it, I was missing out, she just wanted to share the wonder blah blah (I hadn't been specific why I wasn't drinking, but I was also driving) Another lady suggested maybe I just do as the wine experts (sommeliers?) do, the swirl and taste and then spit it out. So I did! Arg, I am not counting it although I suppose some of AL was absorbed or swallowed. I am annoyed that I let myself be swayed... I just wanted to appear normal if that makes any sense. I didn't like what a big deal it was; well it did taste very nice and sweet. Luckily wine has not been my poison (literally) I like my vodka (with Crystal light mix, or shots) so I'm not hugely tempted now. Oh that AL is sneaky, but it was MY decision and I will learn from it. Better plan next time

Stay strong everyone, good night

[Daya]

Newbies Nest

Thans Today

For replying, and the mantra is a good one. Its funny, I used to be addicted to cocaine, battled it for years, then eventually gave it up. Someone offered me some a few months ago, and I said "I don't take drugs" , there was no tempatation at all, it is just my reality now. I'm really hoping I can get to that with AL.

I just went for a power walk, which was very invigorating, and need to put in about 3 hours work on my computer, so I'll take your advice Today and keep busy.

I must say, the bottle of red sitting on the counter is calling me....but I have a mega busy day tommorrow. I have an editor coming to do an article on my company for a prestigous magazine, and in the evening, I have networking drinks at a conferrance I am attending. I am not too worried about the network drinks, as I have made such an idiot of myself in the past I am scared to drink.

I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about the tasting, I think your pretty strong to stop there
Cheers.

[SarahJane]

Newbies Nest

Hope everyone is safe today.

Daya that is tough- get it off the counter & out of sight! My husband drinks red wine- 1 -2 glasses a night & I don't expect him to stop. But he knows I have & is getting better at not leaving the bottle out & under my nose. I do the shopping & continue to buy wine for him which some people might think is mad but I can choose wine that was never my favourite! If he bought it he would choose organic expensive wine that I would find harder to resist. I also have to remind myself that it is not personal that he keeps drinking- he is just doing what he wants to do. In the past I have felt like his sabotaging my attempts as total lack of respect of my needs. But now I realise that he just wants to have a glass of wine with dinner-I have stopped analysing his behaviour & am concentrating on what I need to do.

Today don't give yourself too hard a time. I wouldn't count that as drinking. You did really well. You may need to have an excuse next time- like you are doing a 30 day detox or on medication. Basically state that you are not having any-which means not even a taste of the wonderful home made whatever. Why does it have to be such a big deal? But it does get easier as time goes on & once you have a good few AF social events under your belt you will be far more confident. Now that I am on my 2nd month AF I am finding it easier to say 'no thanks I would love some fizzy water' and when they insist I say 'I am not drinking, can I please have some fizzy water'. It depends on who they are & how pushy they are, some people I just want to slap! I counted 16 times that 1 host offered me wine, then she ended up pouring me wine & saying she would just leave it near me incase I changed my mind! With some people it is going to take them a while to get used to the AF me- but can be so unhelpful when they keep at it. I hope I never did that to anyone!

Leaveinsilence- I couldn't run at all 18 months ago. Have a look at the Couch to 5 k program, it is very good- just google it. I am now training for my first marathon in December- I could never think of doing such a thing if I was still drinking.

Have a lovely safe Sunday everyone.

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Sober Sunday

Good Morning My Fine Feathered Friends!

I hope everyone here woke up sober and guilt free. I had another craving dream for cigars and beer....actually was pulling on a cigarette in the dream just to put some smoke in my lungs... Thankfully, it was just a dream and it was two weeks ago today I took my last puff. It has not been easy, and I am having a few pieces of nicotine gum every day, and the acupuncture on Wednesday was very nice , so it's a work in progress just like my sobriety...

Sarah Jane - I can totally relate to dealing with the emotions now that we're not using AL to deal with everything. I have ridden the roller coaster of resentment may times in the past few weeks...between my job, my kids, my in-laws.... OY! Great job on getting to 5+ weeks....Keep it going girl!

Ms Byrdie! Glad to hear you weathered the storm OK....Great comments about the emotional baggage claim - The Nest is really a great place for that...who else really gets us? I have been finding that when I don't get to the Nest for a few days, that I become a bit less peaceful, a bit more snippy, a little more resentful about this, that and the other thing.... I need to be getting in here everyday- to share and to care.

Cailin - Need you say more? No, you needent do anything... But, The Nest would certainly like to hear more! It's a very rare bird that can show up here and not have a tuble or two out of the Nest. The trick is to get back in here and give it another go.. I can't remember who says this, or the exact quote, but it's basically along the lines of the only real failure is giving up. So, do not give up! Drag your newbie arse right on back in here and tell us all about it!

Today....Hope all went smooth on your Saturday night... I heard you sigh over the thought of never drinking again. I have found it helpful to not dwell on that too much. AL has been a part of my life for way too many years, so of course, there is going to be some sense of loss, some emptiness in our lives where AL used to be. But, I don't have to be AF for the "rest of my life." Don't misunderstand, I certainly intend to be, but I just don't need to deal with the enormity of the "rest of my life" today. I just need to be AF today. I can do that.

LinS - You had a good plan for your Saturday night out - hope it all went well for you as your confidence continues to grow!

4Me - My CD's clearly state right on them - MY WAY OUT - ABSTINENCE. I don't need subliminal and/or hypnotic suggestions that it's ok to moderate. I will never, ever be able to moderate.... once I have two, the floodgates are open and I drink until stupid. Sleeping is going to be dicey for awhile - with or without the CD's...I always passed out drunk, so sleeping was a pretty new experience, and one I needed some time to get better at. If you are wide awake after clearing, then pop in the hypnotic CD and get yourself all good and relaxed again, or get the Sleep CD going....I have that playing continuously all night long. It also contains subliminals that assist with getting a good night's sleep.

WonderWoman - You ARE more interesting, more fun, and more attractive when you are AF. That is the fookin voice trying to tell you that you would be more fun with some AL on board - it KNOWS you - it will try anything to get a toehold in your psyche and then work it until it gets you where it wants you - full of AL! Tell the voice where to get off, you're not buying it!

Turn - Great thoughts about confidence - that is such a key in the first few weeks and months. You are doing awesome!

Hopeful - Welcome to the Nest - your ticket to freedom. Come in often to read and to share. Get your plan down on paper and tell us all about it. Get the CD's!!!

Daya - Yes, you'll see that nearly everyone has sleep issues initially. Your body needs to adjust and it just takes time...there's plenty of good supplements and teas to help and then there are the CD's!!! You have your work cut out with AL in the house...Have you discussed your desire to be AF with hubs? Would he respect your request to not have it in the home? Use the mantra, go to another room and read until your eyes can't stay open any longer....It's your decision and you'll have to do whatever it takes to avoid being tempted. Let us know how it's going!

Ms Lav - Hope all the chickens are accounted for and normalcy is returning to your neck of the Nest!

Sober Sunday Nestmates!

[Sunsign]

Newbies Nest

Settle in...this is a long one!

Byrd: Yes, the hurling contest! Why is it that if food had made us as sick as a bender that we would swear it off for years, but we?d go back to the bottle as soon as we were able to hold anything down?
On another note, I?m glad you?re safe in your nest of the woods! Sorry to hear about your neighbors.
Lis: I have some early nights, too, and sometimes feel a little left out of the action, but on nights when I?m hearing the Voice, I know it?s better to stay in then risk caving. This is my forth AF weekend and I?m surprised at how strong the Voice still is sometimes. After going for days and hardly thinking about drinking, it comes like a thunderbolt from the sky. I?ve gotten lazy with the supps and cds, though, and think I need to get back at it.
Also, did I miss something with the kittens? Did you rescue them?
Turn: Your posts ALWAYS inspire me. They remind me to be grateful. Thank you. I?m so glad you were able to hold the line during your social events. I have a wedding this weekend. My initial plan was to go AF for 30 days (tomorrow is Day 28 for me) then decide about modding in the future. As I mentioned above, however, I?m still hearing the Voice. And if I still crave it, I don?t think I can be objective enough to make the decision to mod, so I?m going to continue to go AF until I feel I can make that decision objectively. At this point, though, I?m so fearful that if I had a drink at any point in the future that it would launch me right into a bender and I?d have to start all over. Last night, I was really craving a drink so I caved in and?had cheesecake. (I heard that cutting out sugar helped with the AL cravings so I?ve sworn off sugar since I went AF, too). With my addictive personality, though, I?d better start looking into forums for cheesecake addicts!
Today: I?m with SJ on this?don?t beat yourself up! Chalk this up to a lesson learned. :l
For future reference, I?m also in SJ?s camp on the making excuses thing. I think it?s just easier. I?ve been telling people I?m trying to lose weight to fit in my wedding dress. Isn?t it messed up that loosing weight is a completely acceptable excuse for not drinking but not because you need to be healthier in mind, body, and spirit isn?t a good excuse? I?m hearing Byrdie?s, ?It?s not your colon!? in my brain right now. At the risk of sounding like one of those new-nondrinkers-who-thinks-everyone-has-a-problem, now that I have a little distance and perspective and experience watching my friends drink, I do think lots of them also need to get themselves in check. Misery loves company? This one non-drinker in my girls group used to bug me?I was always reluctant to get close to her, a goody-two-shoes. Now I know it was the Voice. Sometimes when I was drinking I was not a nice girl?I?m happy I?ve retired Psycho Sallie.
Lav: Like Turn, I struggle with meditating sometimes. It makes me feel so good but I have trouble making it a consistent part of my day. Thank you for recommending the 21-Day Mediation Challenge. Although they?re on Day 14 of the Challenge, the site allows you to go back to Day 1 and do all those meditations. Day 27 AF, Day 1 Consistent Meditating!
I hope you (and your chickens, too) are safe and sound. Thinking of you!
SJ: 9 Miles?!? Feel free to steal my Wonder Woman pic ?cause, girl, you?ve earned it! :goodjob:
I love reading your posts. So honest and matter-of-fact! Groundhog Day is a perfect description of my life before the Nest. Thanks for imprinting that visual in my brain.
Hopeful: Welcome! I didn?t think I was a joiner either, but there?s a lot of good stuff here (and look at me now with these novel-length posts! Maybe I've traded one addiction for another albeit a much healthier one!). Everyone?ll encourage you to make a plan as you get started. The reason is important?you?ve probably tried to stop drinking with no plan before and it?s landed you right here. Figure out what will work for you. Greg?s advises writing it down and that really helped me. We?re here.
Daya: Good girl getting that wine down the drain and congrats on getting 4 Days under your belt! Whoo hoo! :wd:
On your question about AL in the house?I?m at a little bit of a loss. Wine was my drug of choice and I was never interested in liquor or beer?it?s in the fridge and cabinet and it doesn?t temp me at all. The wine, however, HAD TO GO! I can see a bottle in a restaurant and start salivating. Pavlov?s dog?
I must have different triggers from you, too. I used to drink when I was alone so I do fine (fine being a relative term) when my guy is home but REALLY struggle when he?s away at night. Drinking was a big part of both of our lives (although mine more than his) but when I finally cowgirled up and told him about my decision to be AF, I was shocked by what he had to say. He told me that he felt I pressured HIM to drink and I always drove our drinking behaviors?packed him a cooler of beer when we went on the boat, ordered him a drink at dinner. My guy is totally supportive of my decision and we?re going on AF dates now. He said the other night after a bowling date that he much prefers our AF Saturday nights to our drunken ones. We had so much fun! But even if your guy isn?t supportive of you, you have to be true to yourself and do what is right and good for you.
Greg: Thanks for the words of wisdom! Your posts are good reminders for me not to slack with supps and cds, too. I?ve been getting lazy but I?m back at it today.

Wishing everyone a safe and AF week ahead!