Newbies Nest

[Libera]

Newbies Nest

Effy Davey--so glad to have a fellow newbie here (both to social networks and the road ahead of us). I just got back from the Dr who wants to do blood work etc before he gives me Campral or anything else so my first thought--a reprieve!--I can go get wine tonight before I go back to the Dr tomorrow. The jury is still out on whether that's going to happen.

I'm glad to not be starting this journey alone.

[Effy Davey]

Newbies Nest

Libera,

Not alone is good. I had blood work yesterday to check my liver. The doctor I saw was an addiction specialist I was referred to by my regular doctor. My regular doctor knows nothing about addiction medication. Surprisingly, he had told me that 40 - 50% of his patients are alcoholics or addicts. So it may benefit him to learn about it. I have begged him for Antabuse for months but he won't give it to me because of the serious medical side effects. So he sent me to this other doctor, who won't give it to me either, unless it is a last resort. So I am gonna try this Campral, along with Naltrexone which I was already taking. I know myself, and I think if I would get violently ill from drinking I wouldn't do it. But I will take this doctor's suggestions for now. Well good luck with the doctor tomorrow. And the wine tonight. I find once the thought is in my head there is no stopping it.

[White or health]

Newbies Nest

Day 4 here for me.. last night was the worst...really wanted that wine but made it trhough strongly..weird dreams..Today is Friday (in Australia) and the dreaded weekend is lurking around the corner. I am going to be strong so on Monday I can pat myself on the back and say "hey, see you CAN do it"".. Without MWO I would be totally lost. Thank you members and goodluck to all who are in the same boat...Keep you posted....

[Miss Behaving]

Newbies Nest

White - very happy that you found the newbies nest. There is amazing support here!

[Tx Ellen]

Newbies Nest

Great News!!!

I went to the doctor today and had my dreaded blood pressure taken. I have been almost AF for 3 weeks now and started walking 2 weeks ago. I would have never thought that those changes would make such a difference.

Old bp 132/76
New bp 112/70

He said if the next time I come in it is what it is now, he will lower my meds.

Another reason to be AF, definately.

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

White, I am in oz and dread the W/E as well. Crazy isnt it? we should be lookiing fwd to them but Mr A/L usually takes mine away. Goog Luck try to stay strong Will post later

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Look at all the brand new newbies! Our wings are open and we are all here to help each other. You won't find one person here who can't identify with AL taking over his/her thoughts, actions, life, and health. I'd say almost all of us have tried and failed to quit a few times (a few dozen for me). I began lurking here in Jan 2010. At that point, my husband had packed his clothes, my liver readings were in the tank, and I really didn't care if I lived or died. Really. So that was the bottom. I managed to string together 12 days a couple times. I say this matter-of-factly. I did mange 12 days 2 times. I could tell you the dates...because it's the longest I have ever been without drinking since I was in high school (I'm 51). After my 12 days, I started thinking that I had this thing beat...I'd try to moderate. I began with sincere efforts. During my 12 day stents, I'd say, 'dam, what I would give for ONE glass of wine'. Well after the 12days, I had that glass of wine. Man...that was good, but it went down really fast, even tho to me, I was sipping it. I was aware of every precious sip...and I was sad when it was gone. I tried drinking water between..anything to make it last. Then I'd tell myself...2 glasses are NOT going to hurt anyone...so in a day or 2, I was enjoying 2 glasses. I changed glasses...2 bigger glasses. Finally, the what the hells set in and I was back to 5 or 6 glasses a night...and not really at night, like starting at 3:30 on work days. 10:30am on weekends...I was drunk more than I was sober. I could never stop at one, or 2. I really couldn't stop at 3, I was not happy until I had pushed myself to my limits. Passing out. I fooled myself for a solid year, and mind you, I was on this site....I was jealous of the people on here with 30 days...3 months...and years! I just couldn't do it...it was too hard. Finally something just clicked...I could NOT go on this way...I was on a path to destruction. AL was simply NOT worth it. All these things I've worked so hard to accomplish about to be lost for the sake of a freaking DRINK??? I bit the bullet...I checked in here hourly at first. ANYTHING to keep those voices quiet in my head. Those voices that wanted me to give in and give up. Those first days it was an hourly journey...I just could not see myself AF (alcohol free) for the rest of my life, it's just too unthinkable. I told myself, that all I had to do, was get thru this day. WHATEVER it took. And to be specific, I really only had to get thru 3:30 -8:30 weekdays, and 10:30-8:30 on weekends. I took it in small bites...otherwise, it was too overwhelming. Just do whatever it takes to get yourself over that first action that makes you pour the first one. Get over that rough edge. Eat something, or make a production out of making dinner. When you feel yourself going starting to think thru the progression of what you might do if only you had your drink...I want you to stop yourself immediately. Recite something....name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves.....look up whether it's dwarfs or dwarves....say the Pledge of Allegience, The Lord's Prayer, but for goodness sake...STOP that progression of thinking. This is what I call going down the rabbit hole. There is no way out of that hole. Effy Dav said once that voice starts talking there is no hushing it up....well THIS is the key. YOU have to make it stop. You must get control of your mind. You MUST get control of your thoughts. BREAK the string of thoughts where you go into the kitchen. THROW away your favorite glass...I had one, I bet you do too. Do whatever it takes to get your thinking away from that progression. Once you get thru day 1. Rinse and repeat. All you gotta do is get thru the next day, whatever it takes. And so it goes.
Lav is our most trusted Mentor...she will give you the links and where to go to navigate this site, which I must admit, isn't so easy, at least for me. And no disrespect, but if you want to quit AL...if you want to quit....stay close to this nest. There are other threads and certainly other sites...you can find a site for whatever you want to hear...but if you want to get AL out of your life, pull up a twig. We here are in this to beat this...to many of us, this was the last resort, myself included. Lav will tell you to make a plan. I thought this was ridiculous (sorry Lav) I'm just not that organized, besides, how hard can it be not to drink??? (eyes rolling). I'm here to tell you, this is the fight of your life. It's dam hard. Make a plan. Look back on my post (#12,852). Gregorino refers to this as my "I have a Plan" speech (apologies to Martin Luther King, Jr). Also see my post (#12,878) for how to get thru at the very beginning. And last, you owe it to yourself to see LifeTakeTwo's post #12,941 which speaks to moderating.
I am here to tell you that this is not easy...but I am also here to tell you that it is totally do-able. If you want to stop drinking...all you have to do is stop drinking. Stop. Drinking. We all talk about The Voice. This is the voice of addiction. It will tell you anything to stay alive. When your mind chatter becomes too much...take a step back and tell those voices to shut the F___ UP! That mind chatter will tell you things you will believe. You stick close here....you will find help.
So have a seat, and talk awihile....tell us what is going on with you. We have all the time in the world...and we will listen.
If you want to take your life back....you have landed in the right place. Peace today...Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ellen, you are a rock star!!!! I am off of 3 blood pressure meds since I quit. So that's 4 crutches I shed...(3 in the form of pills, and one that was liquid). You ARE doing it! I am soooo proud of you!!! Byrdie

[Miss Behaving]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady - that is one powerful post! Thanks :goodjob:

[Effy Davey]

Newbies Nest

:thanks: Byrd Lady

I just read your post and I am gonna go for a bike ride instead of go get wine. Couldn't get my new perscription for Campral, the pharmacy is out. I'm sure that's not the cure I've been looking for. Just a little help. I have been on and off this site all day and learned a lot from different posts and links. This is a huge site with lots of information. It's great. Now I will go about my evening keeping busy. And checking in here again later.

One more thing. My boyfriend wants me to order a book called 'Heavy Drinking, the Myth of Alcoholism as a Disease' Does anyone know anything about this book. I keep trying to discourage him from convincing me it is only a matter of choice and will power, but he is determined. I am a strong willed person in all other areas of my life, so if it was will power I could just stop, that's what I think anyway.

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlay,

I am in total awe - what a powerful post and couldn't have come at a better time for me. Been away for a couple of months - slowly sliding back to where I was when we both started this journey in January. I know in my heart that you echo what so many of us have thought at one time or another. It gives me hope to see that I'm not the only one that has traveled the road to hell at the bottom of a wine glass. Thanks for the well timed inspiration!

Day one for me after almost 6 months of being AF. Time to shut those damn voices up and take control - make this choice for me cause I know it's the right one.

To everyone struggling - have hope, keep trying and like Byrdy says, stay close to MWO.

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Dear Byrd,

Thank you for the excellent post.

It didn't occur to me to stay with the Newbies Nest once I had some weeks under my belt, but perhaps if I had, I wouldn't have fallen out of the tree! Helpful tips abound in the nest, so I'll check in everyday. Thanks for the reminder.:l

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Birdy, Thanks so much for your insperational posts. I have been struggling with A/L for years. Can manage 3 or 4 A/F days a week but then the cravings,usually Frid Sat and Thurs nights are so strong I give in to them knowing that 1 glass will lead me to hell. Why do we do it? I guess its the nature of addiction. I am a mess at the moment and really need lots of support and advice. Have a dinner to go to tonight (Frid) and then another tommorrow. I am going to get busy now around the house but will post again later thanks so much for your inspiration and good luck to everyone this weekend !:thanks:

[4me]

Newbies Nest

Welcome to all of the newbies:welcome: You have have come to a great place for support. Lav and Byrdie have awsome advice and tools to help you with your journey.

Byrdie, that was an amazing post. Your always so straight forward and colorful in your writing, I love it!

TX, congrats on the BP lowering. I am working on that too, walking in the AM. It does help with the AL craving as well. I think it is because it helps with stress. I have discovered that is my biggest trigger. When I get off work I want a glass of wine or 4. I too have a window. It starts while cooking dinner and ends when dinner is all cleaned up. This is a 2 or three hour process. Hell, I think I am just going to quit cooking. LOL

Clock, don't be hard on yourself and good for you for pushing forward. ODAT!

Hello to everyone I missed. Hope all are doing well!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Effy Davey, he won't understand if he isn't really a drinker, but what harm can it do to get the book and read it. Every single thing you read gives you knowledge; another persons point of view could be interesting and could help; you never know. He'll be happy that at least you've given it a go....
Byrdie, sometimes on here we need a really good reality check and some straight talking. Thank you for taking the time and effort to send that post. Really was the reassurance and push that I needed to carry on. MWO wouldn't be what it is without people like yourself who care so much............:goodjob::thanks: