Newbies Nest

[Effy Davey]

Newbies Nest

It has been great to see so many where I am at, and wanting to fight. (although I do not wish this situation on anyone) Thanks to everyone for advise and just being able to read through the posts is good. Today I have my usual gruelling 11 hour work day. My plan with that is to get out of that job within 3 years. After that my plan for the rest of the day is grocery shopping with my daughter, pick up meds, and if I get any urges tonight another bike ride, even if it's dark cause I did get a light. By the time shopping is done though I may be too tired to think about it, but then again, that has never stopped me from drinking before. So, ok, I'll get off my ass and go.

Tx Ellen -- I have found bike riding to be a great release of frustration and great excersize, go for it. I just got my bike this spring and went to Wal-Mart, it was only $100. Very sturdy and you can get a bigger seat at a bike shop.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters. It's going to take me a while to get to know you all here, but what a lively bunch!
On day 8 and feeling great. I am getting into the exercise big-time. Went for a 50 length swim last night followed by an hour at Zumba. I have always exercised whether drinking or not, so I have had to up the ante and do even more. Some people are commenting that I am doing too much, but this is what is working for me - and it sure beats knocking back 2 bottles of vino every night! It helps me feel good and to get a good nights sleep. I may not have to do so much after a while AF but until I feel stronger this is how I'm going about it.
I had started to despair that I wouldn't be able to get back on track again so I am a happy bunny today. So glad I came back to see you Nesters - just at the right time, it appears. Everything we're talking about right now resonates with me, so thanks everyone.
Hope you all have a great day and prepare yourselves right now for how you are going to get through this weekend. Look ahead to Monday and how good we'll feel about ourselves for making better choices.
Will check in later............

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

It's a beautiful clear 45 degrees this morning
Such a change from the hot & humid weather of summer.

Hello & welcome Prairie Fairy!
Glad you found the Nest! Please settle in with us for a while & stay in touch! A good plan will help you out tremendously

Hello to boozer, Ellen, Effy & daisy!
The weekend is here so we need to make sure our plans have us covered.
My 2 1/2 year old grandson is arriving at 10 am to spend most of the weekend with me so there will be no AL thoughts for me

Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!
Lav

[Juja]

Newbies Nest

Lav's right--it's a stunning morning here in the mid-Atlantic region of the US. The weather has changed for the better--much cooler--I'm actually wearing a fleece robe!

Once I down my second cup of coffee, I'm going for a 2 mile walk. I used to walk religiously, but fell off that wagon, too. Today I start again. I know that will help in my battle with AL, I'll lose weight, plus I will feel so-o-o much better, period.

All you nesters have a pleasant, joyous, AF weekend.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

How to survive a Friday..

Ok, you nesters with 2 or 3 weeks under your wings, belly up and tell the new folks how to survive a Friday....tomorrow we will discuss how to survive a Saturday...you see, we take our successes in small bites. Lav says it best..."Friday is just another day". True, but this did mark the beginning of a drinking free for all for a lot of years. Friday is a little challenge....here's what helped me. It sounds stupid...but whatever it takes. I tried to find something to do that I could give to someone else. In many cases, I baked a cute cake to give to a kid. When I took the focus off of me and my pity party, and put a little energy into something to give away...it helped. I did a little train cake for a 4 year old I knew was visiting a neighbor for the weekend....It was a crappy job by most standards, but it was filled with jellybeans and m&ms and starburst candies...(mostly to hide the holes in the cake). I took it over to him the next morning, and I have never seen such an expression of joy....he was overwhelmed! He pointed to the various candies and then up to me! Then he looked at his mom and said, 'Mom..is it my birthday?' That moment was priceless! What that little guy didn't realize, is that he had helped me get thru a horrible night of fighting. It was a total win-win. Tonight (Friday) will be a struggle for many...especially around that witching hour when you are off work and the drinks started flowing. Be good to yourself...go buy you some delicious cookies. Keep your mouth happy and your mind busy. Do whatever it takes to get thru this night without AL. The nest isn't closed on weekends either. We will all be right here. Byrdie

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

I am planning on moderating down - and writing out my plan tonight. I am a little afraid of going straight cold turkey.

The only supplement I don't have yet is the milk thistle - stopping on way home. I do have the hypnotherapy treatments on my iPod so I am working out how to use them more on weekends.

If there is a thread somewhere with draft plans (the board is a bit overwhelming) I would love to know where it is.

Thanks so much. Last weekend pretty much pushed me into stopping lurking and taking action so here I go.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Prarie - the Tool Box is full of good ideas. Take a look at this post from A work in Progress:

A Work in Progress;468186 wrote:
What is a plan, and how do I get one???


I can't count how many times I have made the suggestion to new folks here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of alcohol abuse.

SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?

The MWO book, and what we call the MWO program, discuss and recommend a number of elements that have proven very helpful to many, many people who have used them. They include (and I have added a few, based on my own experience and that of many MWO members):

• Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful)
• Hypnotherapy (you can buy the recordings on the MWO site in the "store")
• Meditation (many of us practice meditation)
• Dietary supplements (see the MWO book, the "store" here onsite, and the threads here on "Holistic Healing")
• A healthy diet, and regular mealsMedication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)Spending a significant amount of time here at MWO, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your strugglesGoing to AA meetingsChanging our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"

Most people do not use ALL elements in this list; but those who are successful tend to use a LOT of them. And we tend to adjust and tweak the elements, as we see what works for us (and for others).

Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.

Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.

Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.

wip

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon all. Thanks for the posts. Love the idea of the cakes Byrd and I've been reading a page from the Tool Box each morning Lav. Thanks for the posts!

I just popped two L-Gluts and a 2 Kudzu Rescue for good measure. I've been eating healthfully and exercising all week and really I've decided "maybe one" is not an option anymore for me. I've got that decision firmly in my mind to make it through today.

Have a wonderful AF evening all!

[Today]

Newbies Nest

Happy Friday to everyone!

Good idea Byrdie, learning how to survive Fridays is very difficult!

For me, Fridays were the day that it was okay, and even expected to drink. I would generally start as soon as I got home from work, or on the Fridays I have off (like today), I would have started sometime in the morning.

Today I am 43 days AF and to keep myself from drinking I make sure I am occupied. I think that it is very important to have a plan for the day such as chores, plans with someone, or some sort of exercise. It makes me feel great to have exercised this morning, then gotten my chores out of the way for the weekend and now my house is actually clean!

It is so important as well to surround yourself with friends and family that are supportive. They, and the people here are where I will get my strength to get through another AL free Friday. I have plans to go bowling tonight and am looking forward to a nice evening with friends and doing a fun activity.

If you are out there struggling not to drink, post here, eat and drink healthy, do something to keep yourself busy and know we are all here to help you!

Good luck!

[Jolie]

Newbies Nest

Agreed - Fridays are always difficult. Keeping busy is definitely the key. So many things I could have done but I chose to sit around and drink. I'm sitting here sipping a cup of coffee and getting ready to trudge down to the basement and pull up all my fall decorations. It's a beautiful day here on the east coast and I am so ready for Fall.

Have a great sober Friday everyone!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

This truly was a perfect day on these parts Jolie

Glad you are occupied with healthy activities tonight!

Today, awesome on your 43 AF days! It gets to be a brand new habit, I'm happy for you

Mylife, the Tool box is definitely to 'go to' place if a thought or an urge pops up. It was always helpful to me.

Wishing evevryone a safe night in the Nest!
I should mention to the newest Newbies that we do have nest belts & butt velcro if necessary :H

Lav

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Tx Ellen;1178041 wrote: Greg,

I am interested in taking up cycling but have no clue what to buy. My biggest concern is that I weight 300lbs and need a BIG seat. Also, I want to be able to keep up with some coworkers that cycle 10 miles on Saturdays, so I dont think a cruiser will do.

Any suggestions?

Howdy Tex!

I think a Hybrid is what you want...Half mountain bike and half road bike. I bought a nice used one for $150 - It was a $400 bike in very good shape. Craig's list. Also, some bike shops will sell consignments. With a hybrid, you'll get some shock absorbers and you can always customize the seat. Go to a bike shop and pretend to be shopping for new - they will help determine what size frame you should have. Let us know how it goes!

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Prairie Fairy;1178027 wrote: Hi - I'm new at the nest. Tonight was a cutting back night. The next few will be the same. I need to work out my plan/journal etc. I've stalked here a lot - but now all my "stuff" is here - so - no excuses. Here we go. It's less Phoenix rising - than Phoenix Burning. But one foot in front of the other.

Welcome Aboard Prairie! If you've been following along then you already know what you need to do, so now you just need to make up your mind and do it. The Nest will give you all the support you need. But only you can get the supplements, order the CD's (abstinence), write out a plan and not drink today. Keep it Simple - "I am not drinking today" is a good way to go. Simple, kinda catchy, and it's re-usable!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

New Nesters...the reason I was encouraging you to tell us your story is 2 fold...we sincerely want to know, but also, when it is written here, YOU have a place of reference for yourself. You wouldn't believe how many times I have had weak moments and times I thought I deserved to give myself a break from this abstinance and I was able to go back to the very first posts and see what me brought me here in the first place. I would encourage you to write in those posts, what you googled to get here. I googled "How to stop drinking without going to rehab". When you get some time under your belt, and you feel like you are entitled to drink...or when you are tempted to give in to The Voice...just read back on your very own words...and you will find your way. Byrdie

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Effy - Good to see you are planning ahead...Now work your plan!

Daisy on Day 8 - WooHoo!

45 degrees Lav - OMG! I would have to get out my winter coat and wool socks. That is winter in Tampa Bay!

Juja - Great to see you and having an exercise plan is a big key! Don't forget the other components, which are equally important....hypnotherapy is a biggie - be sure you have that going!

Prairie - Make a playlist with just the "sleep" CD in the list. Set your iPod to repeat. Put the playlist on at bedtime and let it play all night long. I bought an iHome speaker box for $40 bucks, nothing fancy, but it does a great job for the babbling brook! That way you don't have to worry about headphones or earbuds while you're sleeping.

Hello to MyLife, Today and Jolie - Great to see y'all in the Nest. It's a good habit to have!

Well, I hit 60 days today, and only was peripherally aware of that as I had put it in my google calendar awhile back. You will start to pay less attention to exactly how many days you have been AL Free because you are suddenly bursting with energy and getting into all sorts of activities that are taking your focus off of AL and back into Living your Life.

I am contemplating removing my "I'm New Here" sign, but not wanting to be over-confident. 60 days is a drop in the bucket compared to the years and years I spent getting hammered every night. Maybe I'll take it off at 90...

Safe and sober night Nestmates - Check back in again soon.