Newbies Nest

[ronnie]

Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday Byrdie
Nice to see you here BelleGirl (if you know what I mean)
Well I cant stop as my middle boy is having a stropp this morning.........AGAIN!!!!!!!:bat
So I have to sort him out
You all sound like you are doing GREAT
Lav I love your posts....I am always amazed how you remember all of us.....Your the best
Ronnie
xxxx

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BYRDIE!!!!! And a big warm welcome to all the new folks
It was busy here today!
I am on my phone ready for bed so can't get too detailed tonight
Thanks to all fo the kind words :-)
And windy so glad you're safe and sound!
Will talk to you all in the am
-lola

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday Byrdie -

I'm dragging tail feathers tonight so I won't be on much longer. I've got the whole Day 6 - headache, craving, WANT to crack blues. I've taken all the supplements, I've stuffed my stomach. At this point - I know it's not the sugar need - it's the booze brain trying to take over.

I'm making the herbal tea - will take it and a diet Powerade to the bedroom, lay down and listen to some meditation tapes while I wait for a couple phone calls to come in - and read a couple more chapters of Jason Vale.

Just not perky - got the whole getting my a$$ kicked by the booze brain blues.

I am going to make it through tonight - but only if I wash my face, follow my bed time routine, and escape temptation. And sitting on the chaise - is asking for temptation - it's the drinking/phoning/texting spot. My favorite grocery store has a HUGE wine selection right in the middle of all the things I needed - and I walked by the massive section and came ever so close to cracking...I didn't but it was hard.

Sorry I'm not perkier - I just am whipped.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Just swooping in to say good night!

PF - you're doing great! Take lots of deep breaths & listen to the meditation tapes. Start working on your gratitude list ~ it really helped prevent me from feeling sorry for myself & that I was missing something. We're not missing anything by kicking AL out of our lives!

Wishing everyone a safe AF night in the nest!

Lav

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Doing something I wouldn't normally do.....drinking! on here" Actually admitting......please don't forget me................I will be back on form!

[nollie]

Newbies Nest

Oh Daisy, my heart goes out to you. What a powerful reminder to us all how sneaky this compulsion to drink can be, you can't let your guard down even when you think it's going well. Be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up and just get through today, or the next hour, wherever you need to be.

I feel like I've really achieved something. I've been in London for a few days with friends. We've done the tour of countless bars & restaurants, got home to find we'd been invited to a Halloween party where I was the only adult not drinking. Not only have I made it through Day 8 unscathed but I've had an amazing time getting here and feel like I'm living life in colour again unlike looking at everything in washed out grey.

Incidentally, does anyone here know how to bring up my drinks tracker for October 2011?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Very early here, just wanted to say helo before I head out.

Daisy, I hope you dumped the AL & plan to get yourself restarted.
No matter what's going on in life, AL won't make it better ~ we just think it does.

nollie, sounds like you are enjoying your freedom, that's great! Congrats on your 8 AF days!
I never used the drink tracker myself - maybe someone else can answer your question.

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[ronnie]

Newbies Nest

Nollie...Well done, dont you just love it when you feel your life finally comming together, your doing a great job.
Daisy.....It can take many tries untill we get it right, and when we do get it right, its a lovely feeling, stay close and jump back on board....you can do this.
Well the only time I have stopped today is now while I am typing away, I seem to be more busy since I have gone part time at work than when I was full time...:H but at least I am spending my busy time with my boys :l
I am finding that I am thinking about drink at really strange times of the day like early in the morning and I never drank in the mornings but the thought soon disapears so I am not that concerned....just seems a bit wierd.
Well things are going really well for me so far and I hope you lovely people are doing well too.
If we all stick together we can beat this and WIN :happy:
Ronnie :l

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

good morning. I hope everyone's more rested than I am today! For some reason was very achey last night and didn't sleep well. It comes and goes and I know yeterday was so busy that I didn't hydrate well and didn't eat much either. Maybe it had something to do with it?

Anyway, I didn't drink. A slight thought of it when I started thinking about Halloween...it's festive, so of course the thought of alcohol came into my head. But I just started doing what I needed to do around here an before I knew it it was time to see all the cute trick or treaters. :-)

I'm very happy to meet all the new faces here and wish everyone the best...

Before I sign off, I just want to say something that's been said before, but maybe this will be the time that it will "click" with someone...

In my opinion, the first couple of days of trying to be AF - after a relapse - are always the most difficult. Because for me, it's a cycle. It's that whole "I can't have just one..." statement that we've all heard over and over. But for me most of the time, "I can't have just one..." doesn't mean I need to get totally drunk tonight...it means, if I have one, then I am back in the "cycle". I may exercise restraint in the first few days or weeks, but I have started the ball rolling. It's hard to stop because it's a process that's under way - and after awhile, I'm used to the dull feeling again, and I crave it because in my numb state, its all I remember.

In the middle of the haze, if I could have one moment of clarity - like I'm feeling now after being AF for over a month, then I know that I'd realize what I'm doing and be able to stop - but that moment doesn't come because the cycle is under way and I'm caught up in it. Pretty soon, I'm drinking without restraint because I have disappointed myself and others and I don't want to face up to those feelings. I'm drinking without restraint because I want to dull the headache caused from drinking yesterday...and because it is the easy and convenient thing to do...because i'ts what I do.

I can't break out of it because I'm caught in the middle of it...looking at my life through the haze of alcohol and not really wanting to stop...even though I say I do...but at that time if I could look at things - at life - the way I'm looking at it now, I would put down the glass and walk away forever. But I can't. Not while I'm in that rut...that cycle...it's like running on a treadmill - you never actually get anywhere. In order to actually get to a different place, you just have to stop it and get off. Break the cycle.

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Wow....so much activity. It is great to have such a good support group. I can not believe the thoughts and feelings I have been having lately. My mind is so much clearer and less confused. While I was drinking I always felt uncertain.....about lots of things; somehow that has changed. I have a new found confidence and that is helping me to become the person I AM. The decisions I make a good, solid ones and I have the confidence to act on them, whereas before, there was always doubt.

Nollie -- It sounds like you know exactly what I am talking about. I was wondering about your visits to the bars and restaurants -- what were some of the clear-headed observations you made? Did people seem like they were drinking a lot or just a little?

Wicked -- What's ETF? I have noticed I have so much more patience with my kids lately and am actually enjoying their company so much more. Young people are so remarkable with their fresh minds and innocents. I just want to soak it up.

Boozer -- How'd your social event go last night. You sound amazing in your determination.

Lav -- Have you looked at the book yet? I want to know what you think.

Belle Girl -- I am really looking forward to getting to know you better.

Ronnie -- What's a Stropp. I am sure whatever it is my kids have had it. I think part time work is really hard to keep at just part time. How are you doing with the new job.

Lolab -- Hi. Do you have any tips for the Bread? How's it going on Day 37?

Pariry Fairy -- The first thing that came to my mind regarding the Chase is -- Have you thought about moving it to another spot in the room? It could be the "new sober place".

Daisy -- November First sounds like a great day to start your new life -- for some religions it is considered All Saints Day. Makes perfect sense to me. And you will never forget the date: 11/1/11. ONE more good reason today is the DAY.

Byrdie -- How was your First Birthday.

Have a marvelous day all of you.

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Lolab -- Cross posted. What you said and how you said it is AMAZING. Almost brought tears to my eyes. It means so much to me. You have a gift for putting it to words. Thank you.

[ronnie]

Newbies Nest

Ronnie -- What's a Stropp. I am sure whatever it is my kids have had it. I think part time work is really hard to keep at just part time. How are you doing with the new job.

Windy....A stropp is a temper tantrum of which my kids have quite often....lol
It is early days but my job is going well, I found that I could not cope with full time as it was stressing me out all the time which is a big trigger for me so I decided that hubbie can work more hours and that I would go part time so that I dont have any work stress (hopefully)
Thanks for asking Windy, hope you are doing well
Ronnie
xx

[patrice]

Newbies Nest

Hiya all

This a great group and I'm really inspired by all your thoughts and musings about the AF life

I'm on day 2 and noticing (finally) that I'm waking up in a better mood and not sweating.
I like the way when I don't drink I am so much more organized... I seem to de-clutter and cut down the chaos in my life.. Helps me alot to stay on track.

I agree that once drinking its like a hamster on a wheel, knowing that you can get off but in a way not wanting to because of the anticipation of feeling rough again.. so circular.

I am not craving the way I used to - I seriously think that is because I am eating good food.. the minte I start eating crap its like a pile of dominos that come crashing down

Daisy, don't worry.. this isnt a linear process in the same way that life is not

Take Care all
Patrice

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Windy - LOL I was wondering what a stropp was too thanks for asking and for the explanation Ronnie! I think I will use that term with the kiddo - at least it will confuse him if he's in the middle of one.

And Windy Love your idea for PF moving furniture...sometimes the simplest solutions never occur to me - :-)

Lets see...the bread. Did I tell you I love the wheat stalk bread?

I always use parchment on the pizza peel - slides onto the stone so much easier. I've made it into small rolls too - those are good. I want to make the rosemary crescent rolls - the recipe is online...just trying to find time. And I have a friend who is raving about the new pizza book by the same authors.

ya know, I have no doubt in my mind that I could have a glass of wine tonight and stop...probably sleep well, with no aches and pains, and talk myself into feeling good that I was able to stop at a 'normal' amount. But I know for a fact that my body has not bounced back from all the abuse and still has lots more healing to do...to start putting small amounts of alcohol back into it is only going to set me back in my healing and it's only going to lead to larger amounts eventually...maybe it would take a month? or maybe it would only take a week, but I've seen it before - soon I'd be hiding wine under my bed or vodka in the laundry hamper.

oh and EFT is kind of an accu pressure thing to help with stress. Asfar as I've gotten with it, you tap areas around your brow bone and on your sinus bones on your cheeks - I did like it and thanks to Wicked - I will be revisiting it - I had forgotten about it!

[wpgwonder]

Newbies Nest

Noy sure if I'm on thr rightpost I have been a member since 1996.Have finaly hit roke botom.Daughter ended up calling ambulance.Was in rehabe for 12 days,but I knew I HAD A BOTTLE IN FReZZER wAITING FOR me.So that didn't help,So at the hospital they gave me stuff to help tohelp make me to start feeling better,drank 4 bottles in 4 days and did not eat.Doctors and nurses were so nice.They give me a persciptin for valium.Now I feel stoned all the timeWent for an appointment yesterdat to go to detoxe and my appointment isn't till Nov 23 don't know if I can wait that long.Everyone knows I'm an alcoholic my family,my doctor,the hospital and you now.can not hold down a job.I seem to be a bundle of nerves.Even got a persciption for campal 3 years ago.Doctor told me to take 2 valium 2 times every 2 hours but can not funtion.So am taking 1 every 4 hour,am also taking oxy which I stole from hubby.Is non alcohic beer ok to drink.It's been 6 days without now.Will be going for 30 day progam but not sure when Don't want to spend xmas in rehab.Have 4 grandkids and they want there old gramma back.Any help out ther.